Stanley Awful

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Stanley Awful
Stanley Awful
Born Stanley Awful
November 17, 2003 (2003-11-17) (age 16)
USA flag.PNG Pingko, Trans-Antarctica, United States of Antarctica
Species Penguin
Race Adelie Penguin
Gender Male
Height 1'8"
Citizenship USA flag.PNG United States of Antarctica
Occupation "Villain"
Years Active 2009-present
— Stanley Awful

Stanley Awful is a spastic, hyper, and young pale green penguin who seeks to become a great villain. His most famous traits are his wretched grammar and randomly making strange analogies, usually based on food, for reasons no one understands. Stanley's villainy can be best compared to low-level pranking.


Early life[edit]

Stanley hatched on November 17, 2003 in the town of Pingko and lived near the Ditto Research Facility. He was very sensitive to the radiation, as it began to have a drastic effect on him as he grew, causing him to turn a sickly pale green. No matter how many times they tried to change his color, Stanley continued to remain that same shade of green. Neighbors remarked that it made him look like a lima bean. Stanley then began to lose his eyesight to the point of being legally blind. His parents were unable to find any glasses strong enough to help him see, so they had a pair custom made. Unfortunately, the glasses cost so much that the family had to sell their igloo and downsize.

As he began to speak, his parents realized how terribly he formed words, and had him sent to speech therapy, to no avail. His grammar continued to slide downwards until people began to think he was quoting memes. His IQ did not seem to suffer this radiation damage, though. At an early age, Stanley excelled at inventing and improvisation. Since the Ditto had also stunted his growth, he learned how to make due with his surroundings and invent on his feet. His most intriguing invention was a strange jet pack that he wore on his head, enabling him to hover above the ground. His high IQ allowed him to excel in school, causing him to be multiple grades ahead of his peers.

Driven to villainy[edit]

Unfortunately, Stanley's environment eventually drove him to mischief and villainy. Like most who stick out like sore thumbs, Stanley was the subject of ridicule in school. He was initially bullied, but he was able to invent ways to overcome his many enemies and eek out an existence as an outcast. Principals, headmasters, counselors, and teachers alike warned bullies to stay away from Stanley. They felt that his fragile state of mind could snap at any moment, thrusting him into a fit of fury (or, as he calls it, "acrimony"). Of course, this was ignored, and he did indeed snap in the third grade after apparently being subjected to a swirly. Having finally collapsed to insane evil, Stanley quickly finished up what was left of his education and set off to "fulfill his destiny like a hot dog fills a bun".

Having heard of Darktan's plan to build an army to conquer the United States of Antarctica, Stanley traveled to the Darktonian Realm in hopes of joining Darktan's Army. Unfortunately for Stanley, Darktan rejected him because of his age, his spastic behavior, his temper, his grammar, and because he was "so annoying". Darktan later commented that he "wished he could remove that twerp's voice". Stanley attempted to join other villainous groups, but they all rejected him for similar reasons. Stanley, feeling upset, decided he didn't need them and vowed to make his own in the world of evil.


  • "Villain" - Stanley is a petty villain, if that even qualifies. His definition of crime closely matches that of pranking. His primary behavior as a villain is running around and performing trivial alterations. For instance, if someone asked Stanley for a "couple of ice cubes", he would give them only one and begin chortling. When asked why, he would explain and then fly off with glee.



Despite being technically evil, although more mischievous than actually intent on destroying the world, Stanley still retains a degree of childlike innocence, possibly due to the radiation, and is extremely gullible. For this reason, anyone who approaches him can easily manipulate him to do their bidding. By merely convincing Stanley that they too are evil and want to help Stanley's plans, they can get Stanley to unquestionably do their bidding. It normally takes a day or two for Stanley to figure out that he is being used, but by that time, the abuser has fled with his spoils, and Stanley is left all alone and sad.

Stanley's mental state is very fragile, and he can be a true threat if tipped over the edge. The last time Stanley unleashed his fury, the seven penguins who made him snap were severely injured, and three buildings were leveled.


Stanley's most recognizable feature are his extremely thick glasses, with a strange swirl design on the lenses. Without them, he cannot see, and is unable to tell what direction he is going, or even if he's upside down when flying. These glasses are so strong, that anyone who looks through the lenses will suffer an "intolerable headache" that lasts for three days, during which time their grammar becomes as bad as Stanley's. It clears up after the third day, but renders the victim bedridden due to headache. They are estimated to be worth 20,000 coins, not because they are made of gems or have fashionable value, but because of their strength, thickness, and difficulty to produce.


  • Jet Pack - A strange jet pack designed and built by Stanley himself that is worn on top of the head. It is said to run on perpetual energy, although Stanley claims it runs on "his acrimony, like maple syrup runs on a pancake".



See also[edit]