Tails6000 and the Ray of Youth

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Tails6000 and the Ray of Youth
Cover coming soon
Background information
Participants Tails6000, Doctor Aye-Que, Speeddasher, Willy the Penguin, T.O.D.D, Cyber Tails, David Jones
Date January 3rd 2007 - March 1st 2007
Location Across Antarctica

Tails6000 and the Ray of Youth, was an event that happened during the beginning of 2007 which involved Doctor Aye-Que using a device known as the Ray of Youth to turn Tails6000 into a chick. Now, Tails6000 must set out with Speeddasher, and Willy the Penguin to stop Doctor Aye-Que's sinister plan to take over Antarctica.



Hidden Vault, Ternville
1:37 AM, January 3rd

It was late at night in the city of Ternville. The city was currently empty, except for Mayor McFlapp due to the Terns having migrated to the north pole. However, this city was not entirely empty. No, not at all. For in a near abandoned part of the city, there lied a Hidden Vault that only Mayor McFlapp himself was aware of at this point. But apparently someone else knows about this otherwise I wouldn't be mentioning it. Near the hidden entrance to the Hidden Vault the villainous Doctor Aye-Que was silently breaking into the vault.

"OH HO HO HO HO HO! Only a few more minutes and I will finally have the item I need to make my vision of ruling Antarctica a reality."

Well, at least quiet by his standards.

"Don't question my tactics!" Yelled Aye-Que. "Such a monumental moment deserves to be excited over. No one will be able to stop me after I retrieve the items in this vault."

What could be in this vault that Aye-Que is so excited over? Is it really as powerful as he describes.

"Well maybe if you stop talking we'll all find out!"

Don't tell me how to do my job. Anyways, Doctor Aye-Que then finished breaking down the door using his lazer and used his Puffle Mobile to hover into the vault. He smiled at what he saw when he entered the vault. What were these magnificent objects he had now uncovered? A bunch of old tools.

"YES!" He exclaimed. "It's just as the diary of the ancient Master's said. These are the ancient tools that were used to control the universe back in the day. They may not be as powerful as the narrator's organ, but if I can manage to reverse engineer these, I'LL BE ABLE TO CREATE A DEVICE UNMATCHED BY ALL OTHERS!"

Doctor Aye-Que then began to gather as many of them as he could, so he could bring them back to Ayetropolis for further analysis, but then, he heard a voice.

"Up to no good as always, aren't we doc."

Aye-Que turned around to see Tails6000 standing next to the entrance.

"WHAT?!?!" Yelled the puffle. "How did you find this place?!?!"

"I just happened to be paying the mayor a visit, when I heard you laughing in that "I'm gonna beat that annoying penguin this time" sort of fashion. I thought I'd check it out, and I ended up finding you here."

Well, it's good thing he happened to be here. Otherwise Aye-Que might have actually succeeded for once.

"Don't think that just because you're here that I've automatically lost Tails!"

"Why shouldn't I?" Tails asked. "It's been like this for quite awhile, so why should this time be any different?"

Aye-Que began to laugh.

"Because this time, I have the Master's Tools," he proclaimed. "You don't stand a chance."

Aye-Que then picked up a random gun, and began shooting wildly at Tails. The penguin quickly dodged all the attacks, and Aye-Que began to get quite upset.

"Give it up old man," said Tails6000. "We've been through this way to many times, and we all know how this is gonna end."

"I refuse to give up!" Yelled Aye-Que. "I'll skin you alive if I have to!"

After quite a few minutes of fighting, Tails managed to knock Aye-Que out of his Puffle Mobile and sent him flying into the wall. Tails then went to confront him, and Aye-Que began to pant heavily.

"T-Tails, please," he said. "I wasn't really going to try and steal this stuff. If you let me go, I-I'll do community service, I'll donate to Coins For Change. Heck, I'll even return those library books I have that are really overdue. I can change!"

"This is just pitiful Aye-Que," said Tails. "I'm sure you'll have fun keeping your word though after you get out of Owcatraz. Who knows, you might like it there. I heard that some of the cells there are...

As Tails continued to talk, Aye-Que had a slight smirk on his face. Then, right when Tails was about to catch him, Aye-Que pulled a master's tool shaped like a gun right out from behind him.


With that, Aye-Que fired the ray that hit Tails right at his heart. Tails yelled in pain and Aye-Que laughed. Then, a bright light surrounded the room, and everyone shut their eyes as to not get blinded. After awhile, the light ceased and Tails realized that he was okay. However, something felt different.

"What exactly did that gun even do? I feel just fine."

Aye-Que was shocked at what had happened. Tails scratched his head and wondered what Aye-Que was so surprised about. The puffle then started to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"N-nothing at all Tails," laughed the puffle. "But, perhaps you should consider looking at yourself."

Then Tails realized that his voice did sound different when he talked. He looked in nearby mirror and was surprised at what he saw. The ray had turned him into an eight year old chick.

Kid Tails6000.png

"Th-that's just priceless," said Aye-Que.

As he continued to laugh, he then heard something surprising. Tails had also started to laugh.

"Huh? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!?! This is my moment!"

"Well," said Tails. "It is pretty funny if you think about it. Besides, this is kinda cool. Chicks get to do all the fun stuff. So now I can do all the stuff I missed out on as a chick. I guess I should thank you for this doc."

The puffle the started to growl.

"Curse you Tails6000! You can't even let me have a moment of gloating! You're despicable!"

Tails simply continued to laugh, and then the two heard a voice.

"It would appear as though someone has used one of the weapons hidden in this vault. That is unacceptable. To insure that they do not escape, this vault will self destruct in 1 minute exactly."

The two were shocked, and Tails imediatley ran out. Aye-Que then quickly grabbed the master tool, and escaped in his Puffle Mobile. The vault then exploded, along with the Master Tools. Tails was glad that Aye-Que hadn't gotten any of the more powerful tools, but then Aye-Que hovered over him and gloated.

"You may have stopped me from getting the more powerful tools," he said. "But keep in mind, I still have this one. Using this I'll, um. I'll, um. OKAY WELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL DO WITH IT, BUT I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING!"

With that Aye-Que zoomed off in his Puffle Mobile, and Tails just stood there.

"I guess I'd better get busy stopping him. But first I'd better tell the mayor about this."

Tails then zoomed away to tell Mayor McFlapp of the events that had just unfolded. Little did Tails know, that the weirdness of this adventure was just beginning.

Chapter I: The unexpected TV star! What's the doc up to this time?[edit]

Night Club, Club Penguin
3:12 PM, January 10th

It's been around a week since the villainous Doctor Aye-Que escaped with one of the old Master's Tools and turned Tails6000 into an eight year old. No one knows what he plans to do with the ray, but we can assume that whatever it is, Tails6000 is busy trying to stop him. Infact, let's check on him right now shall we.


Well, apparently he's dancing in the Night Club. This isn't like him at all. Usually he'd be rushing to stop Aye-Que at this very moment. Just then, Speeddasher walked up to Tails to try and be the voice of reason as always. Oh ya, forgot to mention, Tails's friends know about the whole Ray of Youth thing now.

"Exactly what do you think you're doing here anyways! You should be out there trying to stop Aye-Que, but you're just here replicating a myth."

"For your information," replied Tails. "I have three things to say to you. 1, The Iceberg can be tipped..."

"Well then why hasn't it ever?" Interrupted Speed.

"We just don't ever have enough penguins on it at once. Plus I can prove that it can be tipped. No one has proven that it can't."

Speed's jaw dropped and he then face palmed.

"That's a terrible argument!" Yelled Speeddasher. "I remember when you forced me to go to that Iceberg tipping event."

Convenient flashback is convenient!

Iceberg, Club Penguin
4:24 AM, November 3rd

It was a few months ago, and many penguins had gathered on the Iceberg in an attempt to finally tip it.




Their conversation continued for quite some time, so now let's get back to the story. We're already enough off topic as it is at this point.

"I couldn't figure out what went wrong?" Said Tails. "It was a bit unexpected that we caught hypothermia though."

"Okay, now back on topic!" Exclaimed Speeddasher." You were saying?"

Tails nodded.

"2, I haven't been a kid in a long time. It's fun, and I want to enjoy it for awhile. And lastly 3, Perhaps you haven't noticed, but I already have a plan that I've put into action right now."

Speed looked confused.

"What plan?"

"Well, I've noticed something with Aye-Que's plans," replied Tails. "He seems to love to announce what he's going to try and do to Antarctica before he does it. He has to big an ego not to. So I've decided that the best way to stop Aye-Que is to do something that I've never done before."

"Yes, yes, what is it?" Asked Speed.

Tails smirked.

"Well my friend. It will require patience, much patience. I have decided to simply...

"Go on, go on!"

"Wait," finished Tails6000.

Speed's jaw dropped once more.


"Yes, I'm going to wait," said Tails. "Think about it. I use a lot of energy running around and trying to find that Puffle, when I should be conserving my energy for the big showdown. So I'm simply gonna wait for him to reveal himself, and then I'll stop him."

Speed growled.

"Are you crazy!?!?" He yelled. "What if this new weapon he creates is something you can't handle. Keep in mind, he's in possession of a Master's Tool. What would Mayor McFlapp say?"

"Well I can tell you that easily," replied Tails. "I talked to Mayor McFlapp the night it all happened. He's the one who gave me this idea."

Speed's jaw once again dropped. Seriously this is getting repetitive. Infact we've been in this Night Club for long enough. Let's see what someone else is doing.

Mattress Village, Eastshield
3:25 PM, January 10th

"Dreamy," said a voice.

Huh, what was that? Oh merciful Masters of the Universe no! It would appear Aunt Agatha is taking a bubble bath!

"It's really quite relaxing," said Agatha. "You'd probably like it narrator. Why don't you come in? The water is quite nice and warm."

I take back what I said! Let's see what Tails and Speed are doing!

"Why are you so worried Speed?"

"Well in case you haven't noticed, we have no idea what sort of machine Aye-Que could make by reverse engineering that tool."

Ugh, they're still arguing. Well anything is better than Aunt Agatha in the bath tub. You're lucky there's not gonna be a pic of that for this story. Some things you just can't unsee. Anyways, it's gonna be pretty boring watching these two argue so let's just skip ahead to when something actually happens. Seriously we're five sections into this chapter and we still don't know what the plot is...

Okay, now the argument is concluded. Let's get back to the story. As you know the Night Club plays music. Well right now the music video of the song, This Wiki's Not the Same Without You was currently playing on the TV. Then, all of a sudden...

..."Yet this website's not a home, this address I do not know!
I would trade my username,
If you come back and... WE INTERRUPT THIS SONG FOR AN EMERGENCY BROADCAST! It would appear that the great Doctor Aye-Que has asked me to read a speech that he has written. Infact, he's here right now. Why not say hello to our viewers doc."

"Hello citizens of Antarctica," said Aye-Que. "So nice to be on television. Anyways, as the penguin said he's going to be announcing a speech that I have written. I'd do it myself, but I've been having a bit of a sore throat lately."

Tails and Speed were surprised to see Doctor Aye-Que on the TV.

"The good ol' doc," said Tails. "He always said he'd get on TV one day. Never thought he had it in him."

Speed simply remained quiet as the broadcast continued.

"So yes," said the news penguin. "I guess now is as good a time as ever to begin."

"You'd better hope you read it right," threatened Aye-Que. "No pressure though. You just have a deletion rifle pointed at your head that will instantly delete you if you make so much as one mispronunciation. But again no pressure."

"Glad to hear that. Anyways the speech reads, "Citizens of Antarctica! It is I, the great, and incredibly handsome Doctor Aye-Que. As you know I've been attempting to enslave you countless times, but Tails has constantly stopped me. But rest assured he hasn't foiled all of my plans... He hasn't?"

Aye-Que growled.

"Of coarse he hasn't you idiotic, cough cough," coughed Aye-Que. "Ugh, I have to try not to yell so much. Anyways, yes I can recall a plan he didn't stop. It all happened a long time ago. Actually it was just last week...

Hidden Vault, Ternville
1:37 AM, January 3rd

Aye-Que's flashback went something like this. It was late at night in the city of Ternville. The city was currently empty, except for Mayor McFlapp due to the Terns having migrated to the north pole. However, this city was not entirely empty. No, not at all. For in a near abandoned part of the city... Okay you really expect me to flashback on the entire prologue? Skipping!

"...and that is the time Tails didn't stop me. Entirely anyway."

"Interesting story doc," said the news penguin. "Okay, so back to the speech. "Well he has foiled most of them, but I can recall one that happened just a week ago that he didn't. Entirely anyways."

Well would you look at that. Had the news penguin simply read ahead, we wouldn't have even had to start that flashback. People are really lazy when it comes to reading these days.

"DON'T INTERRUPT MY SPEECH, cough cough!" Yelled Aye-Que.

"Who are you yelling at?"

"Don't question me you imbecile! Just continue reading!"

"Oh, of coarse," said the news penguin in an attempt to finish the speech as soon as possible. "So now that I've won, sort of, I have realized that I can do so much for Antarctica with what I've got. You see, I have now gotten a special tool that has extraordinary powers. It is the Ray of Youth. Just one blast and you can be and feel 20 years younger. And just as a special gift from me to you, I'm beginning to manufacture these things, and will be giving them out FOR FREE! That's right, the great Doctor Aye-Que has decided to reform. I will be giving up evil to pursue the life of a business tycoon."

Tails and Speed swore that they heard constant cheering in the distance, but they didn't bother to go and check.

"But!" Exclaimed the news penguin. "While this thing is free, it does come at a cost."

Kind of defeats the entire purpose then doesn't it?

"That's right," added in Aye-Que. "You will only receive your free Ray of Youth if you wear the specialized badges that say 'Aye-Que is Uber PWNsome' at all times! This is to show that you now trust me fully, so you can consider the ray as your reward for your trust. No we don't deliver. Anyways that's all I have to say. Doc out!"

With the the song began to play again, and Tails began to laugh.

"What sort of numb skull would fall for something like that?"

Just then the door blew open, and Tails saw that the town had changed. The Gift Shop was filled with Rays of Youth being handed out, and everyone wanted one.

"Well," replied Speed. "Nice to know that Antarctica is full of numb skulls. So, what about your brilliant plan now?"

"This is no prob Speed," replied Tails. "Giving Aye-Que a head start will make this more fun. Besides, I'm sure the EPF will take care of this."

Just then a newspaper blew into Speed's face, and he was shocked at what he saw.

"Maybe you should take a quick look at this paper Tails."

Speed handed it over to Tails who was also shocked.

"It says that the EPF has approved the selling of Doctor Aye-Que's new product," he exclaimed. "Must be some product if even the EPF would sell out for it. It may not even be criminal..."

"SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW!" Yelled Speeddasher. "We must be like the only penguins in existence who don't own this thing! How do you expect us to combat Aye-Que?!?!"

Tails simply laughed.

"Relax," said Tails. "I've got a great idea on how to stop him. But first, I gotta make a few calls."

Speed didn't know what Tails had in mind, but he didn't really care as long as Tails was finally doing something. Then he was surprised at the events that transpired.

"Um ya is this Burger Khan?" he asked. "Great I need two dozen fish burgers and maybe around 10 things of fries delivered pronto. Thanks."

Tails then hung up and Speed was enraged.

"WHAT WAS THAT!" He yelled.

"Calm down, I've still got to do some more calls."

"What are you gonna call more fast food chains?!?!"

Tails laughed.

"No I'm not," he replied. "I just figured if we're gonna have all these penguins over that I might as well order lunch."

Just then a Burger Khan delivery penguin walked up and handed all the stuff to Speed, including the mammoth sized bill. However, no one had time to worry about overpriced food now. The time had come to take action and fight for the Freedom of Antarctica. You know usually in most stories on this wiki we'd have gotten to the action already. This chapter was pretty much just talking. However, that's not to say all of the chapters will be this way. Tune in for Chapter II, which is just below Chapter I in case you didn't notice, which will probably just involve more talking. Thrilling!

Chapter II: The fight for freedom begins with more talking! What does Old Spice have to do with anything?[edit]

Explorer's Igloo, Club Penguin Island
2:45 AM, January 11th

It was late at night, and all the penguins that Tails had called were now all gathered in Explorer 767's Igloo. You probably want to know who in Antarctica hasn't received one of these youth rays and submitted themselves to Doctor Aye-Que. Well a lot of villains like Darktan haven't. Other than that, well let's just say it's pretty empty in Explorer's Igloo.

"Okay," said Speed. "Let's see who has actually come to this meeting. We have here in the this room James Erasmus Kwiksilver, Willy the Penguin, Explorer 767, Fred 676, Ninjinian, Mabel, and PogoPunk32. Really, is this all we got?!?!"

"Well these new youth ray things are a pretty hot product these days Speed," replied Tails. "Be thankful we got anyone."

Speeddasher huffed and went on talking to the crowd.

"Okay even though this wasn't the large mass of penguins I expected, may I now ask you all why you have decided to not get these rays of youth Aye-Que is selling?"

"Because we know he's only doing this to take over the world," said Kwiksilver, Willy, Explorer, Fred, and Ninjinian.

"Because I think that eternal youth is a stupid idea," said Mabel.

"I just wanted a cameo in the story," said PogoPunk32. "No one seems to remember me anymore. Anyways can we hurry it up. I leave on my pogo stick at dawn."

Speeddasher then began the meeting, and to be quite honest it was pretty boring. They just talked about how they think Aye-Que isn't really reformed, and that he's up to something evil. It's not until near the end when we get back to the plot, so for now let's see what someone else is doing. And this time don't make it Aunt Agatha. Ugh, that scene is gonna be my nightmares for the next few weeks.

Aye-Que's Main Base, Ayetropolis
3:18 AM, January 11th

So while the important meeting was going on, the villainous Doctor Aye-Que was gloating on how he'd succeeded in tricking the penguins. Yes he's up to something evil. If you didn't guess that by now you're an idiot.

"Heh heh heh!" Laughed the doctor. "It's all going according to plan. My chart shows that approximately thirty-five thousand penguins have gotten my new product as of now. The same penguins are also now wearing those snazzy badges that I've made."

"But doctor?" Asked T.O.D.D. "What exactly does this badge do? Does it brainwash them into doing your bidding?"

The puffle stopped laughing and pouted.

"No actually those are just badges I made in school when I was a lad," he confessed. "I was running for class president. They were taking up to much closet space."

"But I'm confused?" Asked the computer. "What exactly is your plan doctor?"

"You'll just have to wait to find out. Soon however Antarctica will be under my control, and I won't even have to lift a finger. That's a good thing seeing as I lack any."

Quite a lot of things in Antarctica lack fingers. Makes you wonder how Franky can play a guitar? Anyways, back to the plot. Aye-Que then hovered off in his Puffle Mobile and went to his bedroom. Interesting fact by the way, Aye-Que's Puffle Mobile actually doubles as his bed. Quite convenient if you think about it.

Explorer's Igloo, Club Penguin Island
3:45 AM, January 11th

The conversation was still going on, and the group decided that they would send a few penguins to go to Ayetropolis and see what Aye-Que was up to. However they couldn't decide on who would go.

"Well I guess I'd better go," said Tails. "He is my nemesis after all, and I think I've let him enjoy the feeling of victory long enough."

"But Tails?" Asked Kwiksilver. "Are you sure you'll be able to beat him now that your in a chick form?"

Tails simply shrugged.

"I don't know, but I can't just sit here and do nothing.

"Isn't that what you've been doing for the past week?" Asked Speeddasher.

"You know you should really stop dwelling in the past Speed," replied Tails. "Doctors say it can lead to a mid-life crisis."

"But technically Speed is old," stated Willy. "So wouldn't he enter a late-life crisis."

Speed's head turned read and he yelled.

"I'm not old!" He yelled. "Maybe you guys are just freakin young! You ever think of that?!?!"

There was a moment of silence, and Speed was slightly embarrassed of the outburst and quickly calmed down and tried to change the subject.

"Okay," he then said. "I think some of us should accompany Tails on this journey just to make sure he doesn't screw it up. What do you all think?"

"Good idea," said the penguins.

"Could be better," said Mabel.

"I'm still thinking about your outburst," said PogoPunk32.

Just then they all heard a voice. They didn't see who was talking, but they automatically knew who it was.

"Mayor McFlapp to Tails," said the voice. "Are you bally there, wot wot?"

"I hear you loud and clear Mayor," replied Tails. "How are you even talking to us?"

"A flippin good new piece of software I installed in Explorer's Igloo. It allows me to communicate with you penguins from bally long distances, wot wot."

"Cool," said Willy."

"Wait, you were in my igloo?" asked Explorer.

"You'd be surprised how much flippin free time I have with this bally job. Anyways, down to blinkin business."

Everybody listen carefully to what Mayor McFlapp was about to say. Let's hope this actually has to do with the plot.

"Well I've been doing some bally research and found out a flippin new piece of evidence that shows that the bally puffle is not reformed, wot wot."

"Really?" Asked Tails. "What'd you find Mayor?"

"Well as you can see on your bally left, there happens to be a flippin TV screen floatin in mid air."

Everyone looked left and saw that the Mayor was right.

"Wow," said Willy.

"Cool," said PogoPunk32.

"My Window!" Yelled Explorer. "It's smashed!"

"Well it had to get into your bally house somehow," said the mayor. "Anyways, watch the bally video clip it shows. I think you'll find it most intriguing."

The TV screen then cut to static...

...after thirty-three seconds, the video ended.

"Well, any bally questions?" Asked Mayor McFlapp.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"What's a horse?" asked PogoPunk32.

"WHAT DOES THAT PROVE?!?!" Yelled Speeddasher.

"Let me bally explain," replied Mayor McFlapp. "You see, just this bally night, Aye-Que watched this flippin video a total of thirty flippin times in a row. I think this is reason to blinkin believe that Aye-Que's plan may have something to do with men's body wash, wot wot."

Tails nodded his head.

"That is a possibility," said Tails.

"Are you actually agreeing with this idiot?" Asked Speeddasher. "He's the one who gave you the idea to wait for a freakin week, and look how well that turned out."

"I'm just saying, Aye-Que has done some weird plans in the past. What do you think Explorer?"

Explorer was smelling himself. He stopped once he realized the others were looking at him.

"I think the Human in the commercial was right. Using woman's body wash is a bad idea. I think I'll go see if they got any of that Old Spice at the Gift Shop."

"Just wait a bally minute Explorer," said the mayor. "We've all got to stay here and discuss battle strategies."

Explorer pouted and sat back down.

"Now then, we'll need to send some bally penguins out there to find out what Aye-Que is flippin up to this time. Who would like to go on this bally marvelous adventure, wot wot?"

"Well I guess I'd better go," said Tails. "After all he is my nemesis. I wouldn't wanna disappoint him."

Willy then raised his flipper.

"I want to go," said Willy. "I'll go."

"You sure about this mate?" Asked Kwiksilver.

"I'm sure," replied Willy.

Kwiksilver then agreed that Willy could go if it was okay with Tails. Weird, he's the okay of an eight year old to come along.

"Sure," said Tails. "It'll be fun. What about you Speed?"

Speed walked over and huffed.

"I guess someone has gotta make sure this job gets done. I don't think that a kid, and an adult who's been acting like a kid for the past week will get very far on their own."

"Well then it's bally settled then," said the mayor. "You three will leave first thing in the bally morning tomorrow. You should all get a good flippin night sleep. Mayor out, wot wot."

The voice then stopped, and the TV screen crashed through Explorer's other window to get out of the igloo.

"The Mayor must've still not gotten over that prank I played on him last Christmas," said Explorer.

With that, everybody got ready for bed so they would be ready for the big adventure tomorrow. They all suspected that Tails, Willy, and Speed would just head to Ayetropolis and beat Aye-Que really quick. But little did they know, that the journey would involve much more than that.

Chapter III: After two chapters the journey begins! The new dictator of the Turtle Atoll?[edit]

Somewhere above the Antarctic Ocean
5:30 AM, January 11th

It was early in the morning, and the three heroes had set off on their quest to stop Aye-Que. They were currently flying above the ocean in an small airplane that Tails kept in his garage. Of all the penguins Willy was the one driving. This was because Tails couldn't exactly reach the breaks, and Speed knows absolutely nothing about operating machinery. Kinda weird that they got the youngest penguin to fly a plane though.

"So Willy?" Asked Tails. "How much longer till we reach the mainland?"

"Not to much longer actually," he replied. "We're actually approaching an island right now. We might need to stop there for a bit cause I think we need to refuel."

"Really?" Asked Speed. "We just started flying this thing an hour ago."

It would appear Tails forgot to refuel before takeoff. Let this be a lesson for anyone reading this who wants to become a pilot. Anyways, the three soon landed on the small island that happened to be a part of the Turtle Atoll. They then got out of the plane.

"I'll go look for some fuel," said Speeddasher. "We're stuck here until we find some so you two might as well look around."

"Sound's good to me," said Willy.

"Okay," said Tails. "I'll go see if I can get some food for the road. Or sky? Well you get the idea."

"Just don't spend all our money," said Speeddasher.

Speed then left with some coins and Tails and Willy went to the nearest Pizza Parlor. Their experience was quite strange to say the least. But for now let's focus on how Speed is doing. Looks like he's gotten to the nearest gas station.

"It's just like Tails to forget to refuel the plane. He's always screwing things up. Like that time he ordered that 75 inch flat-screen TV on ebay and typed in the wrong address. We never did find out what happened to that thing."

Swiss Ninja's Secret Base, RDA Recycling Center
6:01 AM, January 11th

"It sure was nice of that penguin to type in the wrong address all those months ago. Don't you agree Swiss darling."

Swiss Ninja had just finished a whole bottle of Cream Soda and nodded in agreement.

"You sure said it honey. 75 inch flat-screen, and not on pebble came out of my savings. That poor fool. Now, let's watch the morning news and hopefully find some important examples of penguins who don't have a good a life as I do. Huzzah!"

Some island in the Turtle Atoll
6:04 AM, January 11th

"Whatever, I guess it doesn't matter. Still, that guy can really tick me off to no end. If only his brain could keep up with the rest of him."

Speed had been rambling on about Tails6000 for quite some time, that he didn't notice that he'd arrived at the fuel station that seemed to sell toys inside.

"Well that's certainly convenient. I just hope they have fuel for air crafts."

Speeddasher walked into the store and approached the cashier to ask about the fuel types.

"Hello there good sir," said the turtle. "How can I be of assistance?"

"Yes, well, I was wondering if you have...

"HEY LOOK MAMMA!" yelled a little turtle. "It's one of those guys from the action figure set."

"Sure is son," replied the old turtle.

Speeddasher looked quite surprised.

"Action figure set?"

"Oh you haven't heard of them good sir?" Asked the cashier. "They're all the rage these days. Here take a look."

The cashier reached from the shelf below him, and pulled out a quite laughable replica of Aye-Que's base featuring figures of Aye-Que in a large robot, Tails6000, and him. He was quite surprised when he read the back of the box.

"Only you can help Aye-Que stop Tails6000 and Speeddasher from stopping the marketing of the youth rays. Use the battle robot to wipe out these villainous fiends and help all the citizens of Antarctica from becoming old and wrinkled. WHO LICENSED THIS PRODUCT?!?!"

"You're a meanie," said the turtle. "Taste the blasting ray of Aye-Que's battle mech."

The turtle pressed a button on the machine which fired a small plastic object right at Speed's eye.


"Hey! Don't you talk down to me meanie! I happen to be in my thirties! I just look this way because I used the youth ray!"

Speeddasher was speechless. He couldn't stand it anymore. He'd lost it. And so early in the story.


I guess Speeddasher has never heard of the internet. Knowing his inexperience with technology that wouldn't surprise me, Anyways, Speeddasher had to let his rage out somehow. He imediatley pulled out his katana and headed straight for the aisle with the action figure sets. Without a second thought he began slicing at them like a mad man, until not one set was left un-sliced.


"Let's get out of here son!"

With that the two turtles left, and the cashier approached Speeddasher.

"You know you are going to have to pay for that good sir."

"Yes I'm well aware."

Okay, so while Speed pays off his massive debt, let's go check on Tails and Willy. I wonder if this will lead to another outburst. I'm guessing it will.

Somewhere in the Turtle Atoll
6:15 AM, January 11th

So like I said before, Tails and Willy went to a Pizza Parlor and they had quite a strange experience.

"Hey waiter?" Asked Tails.

A old turtle in a chef's hat then turned around to greet Tails.

"Hey there little boy. What can I help you with?"

"We'll take five pizzas and three large cream sodas. Make those pizzas have extra cheese and limit how much seaweed you put on it. Come to think of it, you'd better add some bread sticks to that order. Oh, and be sure to include those super cool dipping sauces. Ranch and salsa flavors should be good. After a bit of thinking, might wanna add another pizza to that order. I'm not trying to be greedy, it's just we've got a long trip and...

"Are you trying to eat us out of all our money!?!?" Yelled Willy. "We can't fit all that in our plane! We can barely fit us in that thing!"

"No, no please I really don't mind," said the turtle. "As long as I get cash I don't care if you buy this shack."

"Well then I might as well continue my order, before I was so rudely interrupted. Now, about that extra pizza. I think I might be having second thoughts. Now I might be having third thoughts. Maybe we could...

Willy had just about had it.

"Why is it everyone always calls me kiddie. You're the one acting immature."

"That's not true and you know it Willy," Tails replied. "I'm not immature. I just know how to enjoy life."

Just then someone came through the door and the two penguins were shocked at who it was.

"Well today seems like a nice day for a pizza," said the figure. "I think I'll start with...WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WILLY!?!?"

"Me?" Willy asked. "What are you doing here Cyber Tails?"

"You haven't heard the news?" The cyborg asked. "I'm the new mayor of this town."

Willy and Tails's mouths dropped.

"Mayor!" They both yelled.

"Leader, head honcho, dictator, whatever you wanna call it that's who I am. The citizens here let Aye-Que rent this island as a gift, and he appointed me as the new mayor."

"Crush and Squirt would NEVER let you do that to Turtle Atoll!"

"Can and did. They're on vacation, off to some 'EAC'. It'll be months before they come back."

"What about Melvin? He'd never-"

"He had no idea who I was. He thought it was a legitimate regime change."

"He's smart! He'd know soon e-"

"He came back and screamed at me, so, ya know, I just talked things out, sent him home to watch a little TV. Gave him something for the road."

"YOU HURT HIM?!" Willy said, realizing the usual criminal metaphor.

Melvin and Shroomsky's Home, South Pole City
6:18 AM

"I guess that 'Cyber Tails' penguin wasn't out to hurt the turtles." a cheerful Melvin said, crawling over to a DVD player. "The regime change seemed to be a legal, consenting purchase, at least as he said."

"After all, he gave me a free Aye-Que Badge and DVDs the entire series of The CNIC Show!"

Melvin crawled onto an armchair and pulled his feet and claws inside his shell.

"I can't wait to sit at home and watch a little television!"

Some island in the Turtle Atoll
6:19 AM, January 11th

Cyber Tails changed the subject.

"So anyways Willy, who's the dumb looking kid you got with you?"

"What?" Asked Tails. "You mean Doctor Aye-Que didn't tell you."

Cyber Tails scratched his head.

"Tell me what?"

"Here maybe this will refresh your memory."

Tails put his flippers together and struck a fighting pose. He looked ready to kick Cyber Tails's butt, and then shoved his flippers towards him.


Cyber Tails quickly dodged the attack and it ended up destroying the doors and going straight through a nearby building. The cyborg now knew who he was facing.

"Y-you're Tails!" He exclaimed before he broke into laughter. "Well, Aye-Que never told me about you getting hit with the ray. Could it be that he didn't trust me? I'm feeling a weird mix of anger and laughter at the moment."

"Well I guess it is kinda funny," said Tails as he started laughing as well.

"HEY you reckless birds!" Yelled the turtle from behind the counter. "I'm a five hundred year old reptile and I won't tolerate this behavior in this building! If you guys have to settle your differences, take it outside!"

"Wow," said Willy. "And I thought Speed was old."

Just then a shuriken came flying by and nearly missed Willy's head. Everyone looked out the door to see Speeddasher holding a bottle of airplane fuel.

"Hey Speed," said Tails. "You're sure back soon?"

"I saw the hadouken blow up that building and I thought I'd better investigate," he replied. "And I'm not old."

"Save your ramblings for the retirement home ninja," said Cyber Tails. "My fight is with the kid."


Cyber Tails turned his head to face the Pizza Parlor owner, and he didn't look very happy.

"You're getting quite annoying old man."

He then opened his mouth to reveal a canon that was stored at the back of his throat.

"NO!" Yelled Tails.

Tails tried to stop the cyborg, but it was to late. The beam was fired and it hit the turtle within the blink of an eye.


A blinding light followed as the blast hit the turtle, and everybody closed their eyes. When they all looked again, what they saw was a pile of ashes where a turtle and a counter used to be. Tails was angered at what his cybernetic clone had just done.

"How could you!?!?" Tails yelled. "He did nothing to you! Your battle is with me!."

Cyber Tails turned around and just rolled his eyes.

"It's not my fault if he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. So anyways, why don't we get the battle on now that there's no one to disturb us."

Tails smirked and began to charge up a hadouken.

"I thought you'd never ask," said Tails.

The battle was now beginning. Who will come out victorious? Well you'll have to wait and find out, because it's time for another scene with Doctor Aye-Que.

Aye-Que's Main Base, Ayetropolis
6:20 AM, January 11th

Back in Ayetropolis, Aye-Que is using a surveillance camera to watch the battle from the comfort of his own home.

"It would appear Tails has finally shown himself after all this time."

"It's only been a week doctor," said T.O.D.D.

"I'm well aware of that captain obvious," replied the puffle. "It's just he usually tries to confront me right after I begin my evil scheme. I guess it's nice to mix it up a bit every now and then though."

Aye-Que approached the main screen and grabbed some popcorn.

"By the way T.O.D.D, how's the new project coming along?"

T.O.D.D brought up a video clip at the bottom right corner of his screen, showing a bunch of robots with jackhammers digging some sort of tunnel.

"It seems that everything is going just fine. If all continues like this, then it should be completed in about a week.

Aye-Que snickered.

"Excellent," he replied. "Even if Tails does reach here, he'll be in for the surprise of his life. Not even he is prepared for what's in store for him. Anyways, it's time to watch the big fight."

"I'm so excited! This will be just like Club Penguin Wrestling Entertainment, only real. Did you know that in Monarch Mayhem, when the CPWE brought TurtleShroom to host, there was actual, non-scripted wrestling? Interesting fact don't you think?"

Aye-Que simply sighed and threw a wrench at the computer.

"Shut up already! I'm finally about to see Tails6000 get his butt kicked and I'm not going to have you ruining the moment."

"Understood doctor. I will remain quiet at all times. You won't have to ask me twice, I'll be as quiet as a defense lawyer Jacko waiting for the plaintiff to finish. I'll...


With that, the computer remained silent, and the battle began.

Somewhere in the Turtle Atoll
6:21 AM, January 11th

The group had exited the Pizza Parlour and were now ready to battle the cybernetic clone. Well atleast Tails was while Willy and Speed waited. Apparently we're using RPG logic in this fight minus taking turns.

"Don't think I'm gonna go easy on you just because you're a kid now," said Cyber Tails. "As far as I'm concerned, you're still the annoying penguin who blasted me into a hot spring."

"Believe me, I'm not holding back on you either."

Willy had begun cheering Tails on.

"You can do it Tails! You've beaten this metal head before, and you can do it again."

"Hmph, you have no way of knowing that," replied Speed.

Willy looked a bit puzzled.

"You actually think he might loose?" Asked Willy. "What sort of friend are you?!?!"

"I'm just saying that the odds aren't in his favor. His body is noticeably weaker, and this guy put up quite a fight for him even when he was in an adult body. If something goes wrong, I might just have to take care of him myself."

"But he can't lose. He just can't."

Speed just chuckled.

"It's like I always say kid. One shouldn't rely on past victories when fighting in the present."

Well enough of that, let's get to the fight.

"You ready metal head?" Asked Tails.

"I was cloned ready!"

Anyways, this will be a fight to remember. I'm shaking with excitement. It's organic versus cyborg in yet another battle of the century. This is gonna be... wait... what do you MEAN we have to wait till next chapter to see what happens? Talk about a buzz kill.

Chapter IV: Destroy the energy cage! Speeddasher gone emo?[edit]

Somewhere in the Turtle Atoll
6:22 AM, January 11th

The fight had begun. Both penguins were moving at an incredible speed and it was hard to tell what was going on. The only thing that could be identified were the sounds of several punches, and some buildings being demolished.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!" Yelled Willy. "WHO'S WINNING?!?!"

"You mean you really can't tell?" Asked Speed.

"You mean you can?"

Just then the two fighters had stopped to take a quick breath and they both seemed quite exhausted.

"Well, you've certainly improved Metal Head," said Tails. "But I still have my speed as an advantage."

"Speed is for cowards," replied Cyber Tails. "I've still got a few tricks that I haven't tried yet."

Willy was still wondering what had just happened during the past minute.

"Why is Tails saying that Cyber Tails was slow? They both seemed pretty fast from what I couldn't see."

"To the eye of any normal penguin it would seem that way," replied Speed. "But if you've fought like this before like I have, you can easily tell their speed difference. Tails is clearly faster, but that cyborg has strength on his side."

"Well, if you can tell what happened, could you fill me in please? I still have no idea what just happened?

"It's quite simple really. Tails kicked that clone into that post office. Cyber Tails then proceeded to shoot a blast at Tails, who simply dodged it and ricocheted off that wall to fire a small hadouken from above. Cyber Tails noticed though and used his mechanical flipper to delete the blast, then proceeding to jump up and punch Tails down to the ground. Tails ended up crashing about 2 feet away from were you're standing right now and quickly ran back into battle before you could even blink. The two charged at each other, and Cyber Tails looked as if he might punch Tails's head right off. However, Tails was to fast, and ducked just in time to uppercut him. Cyber Tails might have gotten knocked out then, but he managed to block the punch with his mechanical flipper. It didn't entirely stop the impact though, which left him with a aching beak, and Tails with a sore flipper. The two then used some punches and kicks on each other, until they were eventually worn out. And that's the run down of the battle."

Willy was amazed. He'd always known Tails was fast, but he never thought that he was capable of doing all that in around a minute. He was also amazed at how Speed had been able to see the entire fight.

"That's incredible. But who do you think is winning?"

"What do you think I can see the future? I've been though a lot of battles, and what I've learned from them is that anything can happen at anytime."

Tails had finished catching his breath and was ready to fight again.

"Well whenever you're ready we can proceed," said Tails. "Though if you're to tired, we can always call it a day."

"He he, oh you'd like that wouldn't you," replied the cyborg. "Nice try, but I've been training hard since our last encounter. I'm going to take you down!"

The fight continued on and Speed continued to fill Willy in on what was going on.

"Just give up already," said Tails. "You know you can't beat me."

"NEVER!" He yelled.

After a few more minutes, the fighting stopped and the two seemed to be quite worn out.

"They're stopping again," said Willy.

It would appear as though the fight was going to proceed, when Cyber Tails fainted from exhaustion. Tails had won the fight.

"YAHOO!" yelled Willy. "You did it!"

"Was there ever a doubt?"

Tails proceeded to do some stretching before he walked over to rejoin his friends. Just then, Speeddasher noticed something. Cyber Tails was moving again, and appeared to be charging up an attack with his mechanical flipper.


Tails turned around to see Cyber Tails fly up into the air laughing. Before he could do anything, the cyborg sent an energy blast down that completely surrounded Tails. The penguin was trapped in an enormous cage of energy which Cyber Tails then lifted up into the sky.

"Wh-what did you?"

"YOU IDIOT!" He yelled. "You were so cocky that you couldn't tell I was faking my defeat! So anyways, allow me to introduce you to my new technique. The energy cage!"

Tails was quite nervous, but he tried to act cool.

"So what are you gonna do now? I assume you didn't trap me here so that I could be a prisoner in Ayetropolis?"

"Well, you thought correct. I have something special in mind for you."

Willy began tugging on Speed's flipper.

"We've gotta do something," he said.

"Heh, I'm already one step ahead of you kid. Cyber Tails isn't the only one who's been busy working on new techniques."

Willy looked at Speed confused, and was then surprised at what Speed did next. Speed pulled out his katana and used it to make a large cut on his flipper. Blood was noticably drawn onto the sword. Being immortal, it didn't really hurt, other than a visible grunt.

"SPEED!" Willy screamed. "I never knew you were emo?"

Speed looked at Willy and growled as his blood began to run down his flipper and onto his sword.

"I'm not emo! It's a new technique I've been working on. I have come up with a name for it however"

"The emo technique?"

Speed face palmed as his wound healed itself.

"No. You'll just have to wait for me to charge it up to see."

"How long will it take?"

"I estimate around 5 minutes at the least."

"FIVE MINUTES! We don't have that sort of time!"

Speed smiled.

"That's were you come in kid. There's a Night Club a bit across the street. On the roof of that Night Club is a large strobe light. I need you to go there and shine it at Cyber Tails so I can charge up my katana."

Willy was quite scared.

"But what if Cyber Tails blasts me with his mouth cannon?"

"That's a risk we'll have to take. Besides, he's to distracted with Tails at the moment. So go before it's to late."

Willy was still scared, but he nodded his head and quickly ran towards the night club. Speed was also quite nervous as he was sure Willy would find a way to screw the plan up.

"Just hang in there Tails," Willy thought to himself. "I'll get to that strobe light no matter what."

Explorer's Igloo, Club Penguin Island
6:30 AM, January 11th

Things were not looking good back at Club Penguin Island. After being on the market for less than 24 hours, the youth rays had already sold over 7,250 on Club Penguin Island alone. Now that's not over nine thousand, but it's still a lot. The penguins who had attended the meeting were forced to stay in Explorer's Igloo, as the citizens of the island had barricaded all of the doors and windows so they couldn't escape, and they had taken his teleporters, player cards, phones, and maps. You see, they didn't want to risk any of them trying to destroy the youth rays, so basically Explorer was put under house arrest.

"This sucks," said Explorer. "I can't even leave my own igloo because of these stupid youth rays. Plus I don't think my insurance will cover me if those lunatics outside try to dig up my lawn."

"Look on the bright side brother," replied Fred. "Tails6000 is out there right now trying to stop Aye-Que."

"Weird. I thought the bright side was we weren't stuck in this room with Willy."

Kwiksilver slapped Explorer in the back of the head.

"Ow. What was that for?"

"Oh, nothing."

Kwiksilver walked away leaving Explorer puzzled. Secretly, Kwiksilver was rather worried for his apprentice, and he wished he knew what was happening to the three who had left.

"Tails," Kwiksilver thought. "Please make sure Willy comes back here safely. I know he can be annoying and childish at times, but he's still my apprentice, and I'd never forgive myself if something happened to him."

Meanwhile outside, the penguins seemed to be enjoying their youth rays.

"Aren't these things just the coolest," said a penguin.

"Sure are," replied a puffle. "I can't believe those idiots actually think Aye-Que is up to something. I mean really, he gave these things to us for free. What a nice guy."

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you around. I've gotta date tonight."

"Okay. See ya later dude."

The two walked away from each other, as they gave themselves another blast with the youth ray, turning themselves into toddlers. Little did they know though, that by using that ray, it was bringing Aye-Que one step closer to world domination.

Somewhere in the Turtle Atoll
6:35 AM, January 11th

Things weren't looking good for Tails6000. Cyber Tails had begun to make the energy cage spin around like a puffle wheel, and made Tails constantly run around in a circle. Speeddasher was still charging up his technique, and Willy had entered the Night Club and headed up the stairs to the roof.

"Just hang on a little longer Tails," he thought to himself. "I've just gotta reach the top of this building. If only it wasn't a four story tall one."

Cyber Tails continued to laugh, as Tails was getting worn out. He'd been rammed against the energy cage walls several times, and they were some pretty hard walls.

"You getting tired yet penguin? If you are then don't worry. I'm begining to get bored with this, so I'll probably destroy you now."

Tails was to tired to even reply, so he just continued panting. Just then, he saw a few needles made out of energy heading towards him. Tails thought they were going to poke him, but they stopped just before they hit him.

"I-is that really all y-you got metal f-face," panted Tails." I ex-expected more from...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

Before he could even finish his sentence, the needles began to release volts of electricity right into Tails6000. It would appear that Cyber Tails was planning to shock him to death.

"I was thinking of a rotisserie style death for you, but I think fried will be much more suitable."

Speeddasher was quite worried for Tails (though he refused to show it on his face). He wanted to go and help him, but he knew that without his technique fully charged, it wouldn't do any good.

"It's taking longer than I thought," Speed thought to himself. "Hurry up Willy."

Thankfully, Willy had now reached the top of the building and had found the strobe light. He rushed over the control panel and began randomly pressing buttons.

"Come on, which one is the on button?!?!"

It seemed like it was all over for Tails as Cyber Tails continued to shock him with electricity.

"I think it's time we end this. Don't get me wrong it's been fun, but I'm getting quite bored. Hope you like being fried penguin!"

Before he could send the next electricity volt though, a bright light blinded his vision which caused him to loose concentration.

"GAAAAAUGH! What the heck is going on!"

He looked in the direction the light was coming from and was surprised at what he saw. Willy was aiming the light straight at him and behind Willy were several Ninja-Style Dancers dancing to a song that had just started playing. Just to let you guys know, those Ninja-Style Dancers come up onto the roof whenever the strobe light it activated. The turtles were still in the club.

"You should really pay more attention to what's going on around you metal face," said Willy.

"G-good job Willy," replied Tails.

"Th-this isn't possible," said Cyber Tails. "That dancing is horrible."

Cyber Tails tried to fire at the light, but kept on missing due to not being able to see it properly. Before he could fire another blast though, he felt a strange energy. He looked down to see Speed holding an enormous katana. It was nearly pitch black, and it had a dark purple aura surrounding it.

"Wh-what is that?!?!" He yelled nervously.

"Heh heh, my technique has been fully charged," replied Speeddasher. "Now it's time I unleash it's full power."

Speed held his katana up in the air and began to run towards the cage. He then jumped up into the the air, and seemed to be floating for a few seconds.


With that he zoomed right towards the energy cage and began to swing his katana at the energy cage at incredible speed. It would appear as though that he'd put some of his chi into the blood around his katana, and that it was helping him make his swings stronger.

"Wow!" Exclaimed Willy. "That power is incredible. I just hope it's enough to break the energy cage."

"STOP!" Yelled Cyber Tails. "You'll break the energy cage!"

That's kinda the point isn't it? Anyways, Cyber Tails tried to fire at Speeddasher, but they all just bounced off his katana. Then, he prepared for the final blow on the cage, which had been severely weakened.

"It's time to show you how outclassed in power you really are Cyber Tails!" Yelled Speeddasher.

Speed began to send more energy into the katana, and it began to grow to the length of 300 feet.


As he said those words, the blood that surrounded his katana took the form of a large dragon which might have been larger than the entire archipelago.

"W-wow!" Exclaimed Willy. "I'm sure glad he's on our side."

Cyber Tails was becoming quite terrified now. The dragon starred at him for awhile.

"Y-you can't scare me with this allusion," said the cyborg nervously.

Cyber Tails shot an energy blast at the dragon, but it simply bounced off. The dragon roared, and then began to wrap around the energy cage until it completely surrounded it.

"Time for the big finale," said Speeddasher. "DARK BLOOD DRAGON KAMIKAZE!"

The dragon then began to glow and, in what seemed like a few seconds, exploded into an aura of light. Cyber Tails, Willy, and the Ninja-Style Dancers quickly got out of the way to avoid the explosion, but they weren't fast enough. A blinding light engulfed the entire island, and everyone was forced to just close their eyes and hope for the best.

Aye-Que's Main Base, Ayetropolis
6:42 AM, January 11th

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr, what's happening?!?!" Yelled Aye-Que. "I can't see a thing with that blinding light!"

"I'm not sure doctor," replied T.O.D.D. "We'll just have to wait for the light to clear up."

Aye-Que starred at the computer angrily.

"I'm sorry T.O.D.D, but did I hear you correctly. Did you just say we have to wait!"

"Um, yes doctor. Is there a problem with that?"

Aye-Que's entire body turned bright red.

"You bet your circuits there's a problem with that! Aye-Que waits for no one!"

Doctor Aye-Que then began throwing wrenches at his computer, while the machine begged for mercy. Somehow I have the feeling it'll take more than scrubbing all the floors in Hyrule to get that.

Somewhere in the Turtle Atoll
6:43 AM, January 11th

The light had passed and Willy began to open his eyes, only to find that he had passed out and buried under some rubble. It took awhile for him to get back on his feet, but soon he began to move the rubble and get back up. As he looked around he saw this particular Turtle Atoll island was pretty much destroyed. The energy cage appeared to have been destroyed, and Cyber Tails was nowhere in sight.

"H-hello!" He called out. "Tails, Speed, anyone?! Are you still alive?!"

He then looked down from up on the roof and was shocked at what he saw. Both Tails and Speed were passed out and looked in bad shape.

"TAILS! SPEED! Don't worry, I'm coming!"

Willy didn't want to waste time running down the stairs so he just jumped down off the roof, and went to see if the two were alright. Speed was covered in cuts, but they were begining to heal and he just seemed to be passed out. Tails however wasn't as lucky. He'd broken a few ribs, and his head was badly injured from the electricity.

"TAILS!" cried Willy. "Come on Tails, you can't die! You just can't."

Tears went down Willy's cheek as he thought the penguin might be gone for good. Just heard something in the distance. He turned around to see that a pile of rubble was moving.

"Who's there?" He asked.

And with that, Cyber Tails popped out of the rubble.

"HA HA!" He laughed. "You three really are idiots! That kamikaze attack may have destroyed my energy cage, but it would appear you were to late to save your friend!"

"H-how could you do such a thing Metal Head," Willy sobbed. "YOU MONSTER!"

Cyber Tails face palmed with his mechanical flipper, only to have it fall off.

"Well, I guess that's the price I have to pay for killing Tails6000. Also, how many times are you guys gonna call me Metal Head? It's kinda old now."

He's got a point, it is getting pretty repetitive. Anyways, Willy had just about had it. He charged straight at the cyborg only to be flung into a building.

"You're quite persistent aren't you? You pathetic little... AAAAAAAAAUUUGH!"

Cyber Tails was then hit in the head with a hadouken which imediatley knocked him down. Willy got up and smiled. For standing up, with his two flippers held out in front of him, was Tails6000.

"You aren't k-killing me that easily. As long as I-I've got some f-fight left in me, you'll never lay one flipper on any of m-my friends."

The cyborg got up as he seemed quite surprised to see that Tails had survived.

"H-how could you survive that?!?!" He asked. "I shocked you with 1,700 volts of electricity! You should be an dead bird!"

"I'm kinda surprised myself," replied Tails. "My guess though is that the attack Speed used to break your energy cage with was filled with quite a bit of chi. The explosion must've sent some of it into my body. It may not have been much, but it was enough to keep me alive. And that Cyber Tails is how the fish fries."

Cyber Tails still couldn't believe that Tails was still alive. Willy however, couldn't get himself to say anything. He was just to happy to see Tails alive.

"NO, NO, NO!" yelled Cyber Tails. "This wasn't supposed to happen! I was this close to annihilating you! Had that stupid old ninja not interfered, I would've had you!"

"Hey, I helped to!" yelled Willy.

"Oh yes, how could I forget Kwiksilver's little pet! That strobe light certainly was very annoying!"

"You two were both a big help," said Tails. "Willy, remind me to pay Speed back the money I owe him."

Willy nodded, and Cyber Tails began to get upset.


Cyber Tails charged straight at Tails and got ready to punch him in the face. Tails stood still for awhile just to mock the cyborg, but jumped just in time to kick him in the back of the head, which left him stunned for quite a few minutes from the shock.

"I hope you've realized that you're not welcome here anymore Cyber Tails. You no longer have control over this city. Leave here now!"

"Couldn't have said it better myself," said a voice.

Tails looked to see that Speeddasher had finally gotten up and was busy picking up his katana and some shurikens that he dropped.

"Speed!" Yelled Willy.

"Well, it's nice to see you're finally up. What do ya say we drop this guy off at Owcatraz on our way to Ayetropolis?"

"No way are you gonna take him away!" said a female turtle in the distance.

The three turned around and were surprised to see that thousands of turtles had gathered with various weapons aimed at them. There must have been turtles from every island in the Archipelago! Cyber Tails just smirked and got up.

"Why can't you three just leave us alone?" Asked one of the turtles. "We're happy with these youth rays and our new mayor. Cyber Tails is our leader, and it's gonna stay that way as far as we're concerned."

"Cyber Tails! Cyber Tails! Cyber Tails!" The turtles chanted loudly.

"Well Tails, it would appear that the public has spoken," Cyber Tails said. "If anything, I could arrest all three of you for destruction of property if you don't leave right now. Normally I'd just kill you, but as much as I hate to admit it, I don't have much fight left in me."

Tails growled. He knew that all three of them were more than capable of defeating the crowd, but he knew it wasn't right to beat up on the turtles. He merely turned around and started to walk away.

"Fine," he replied. "We're leaving. But mark my word, we'll get you out of office eventually. YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT!"

Tails continued to walk and Speeddasher and Willy followed him. Cyber Tails just laughed, and then disappeared into the crowd.

Aye-Que's Main Base, Ayetropolis
6:48 AM, January 11th

"CURSES!" Yelled Aye-Que. "He had that penguin! He had him! But still he came out alive!"

T.O.D.D was quite nervous at the moment as Aye-Que had begun to throw wrenches at a poorly drawn picture of Tails, and he was afraid one might hit his screen.

"Doctor, this level of stress isn't to good for your heart. Maybe you should go and rest. You know what they say, a nice nap in the morning keeps the ulsurs that the surgeons have to remove through a highly complicated procedure away."

Aye-Que just got even more furious and threw a wrench that barely missed T.O.D.D.

"You see that's another thing doctor. Your aim could use some work. Perhaps after you take over the world you should retire and take on those baseball lessons you've been meaning to get. Just imagine. Aye-Que playing baseball! The stealer of second base!"


T.O.D.D just remained quiet, and Aye-Que finally managed to calm down.

"Well, I guess it's not a total loss," he said. "After all, now I have and opportunity to test out that little trap I've been working on."

"Correction doctor. It's actually quite a big trap. You know, that's another thing you should work on. This sort of thing could kick you in the behind on a date."


T.O.D.D didn't reply.

Chapter V: Board The Siren's Ship! Will Tails6000 ever recover his lost wallet?[edit]

Somewhere above the Antarctic Ocean
2:31 PM, January 11th

The three penguins continued to fly in the plane in an attempt to reach Aye-Que. With their plane refilled, it would appear that they would have no problem reaching Ayetropolis. They were wrong.

"I've seen turtles on that island who go faster than this plane," said Tails. "Come on Willy pick up the pace a little."

"Well in case you haven't noticed, I'm trying to be a safe and responsible pilot. It is my sworn duty to fly you two adults to safety. What do you have to say to that?"

Willy turned around to see that Tails had fallen asleep and Speeddasher was busy polishing his katana.

"Oh, um what?" Asked Tails as he woke up. "Sorry Willy, you just sounded like you were from a really corny action movie."


"Look would you two just stop arguing," said Speed. "We've got much more important things to deal with at this point in time."

With that the two simply sighed, and continued on with what they were doing. A few minutes later however, the three heard a bang sound.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!?!" Yelled Willy.

"CRAP!" Exclaimed Tails. "We've set ablaze!"

Willy looked down to see that the plane's fuel tank had caught on fire.

"How could this happen?!?!" Willy screamed.


Willy began frantically pressing buttons while Tails tried to figure a way to escape. Just then, the right wing caught on fire.


"Um, oh I know," said Tails. "DO A BARREL ROLL!"

Speeddasher punched Tails in the back of the head.





Willy looked terrified.


"We're penguins we can swim!" Tails replied. "Nothing to worry about!"

"B-but I can't do it! It's to scary!"

Willy was very nervous, but then Speed put his flipper on Willy's shoulder.

"Willy, let me tell you something!" the ninja said.

At this point, Willy was expecting Speed to give him some words of encouragement. He was quite surprised at what followed.


Before Willy could reply, Speed pushed him out of the airplane, and then followed him with Tails. The airplane had exploded and the three crashed into the ocean. After awhile, the three had swam up and tried to get some air, and despite the currents they were able to stay up.

"Well that certainly got the adrenaline pumping," panted Tails.

Willy didn't think this was funny, as he was still a bit shaky after being pushed out of an airplane.

"So what now?" Asked Speeddasher. "Should we try and swim for land?"

"Well I don't see any other options," replied Tails. "But I'm not quite sure which way land is."

"This is just perfect," said Willy. "I'm gonna die here in the ocean with a adult who acts like a kid, and an emo old man."

Speeddasher growled at this statement.


Tails6000, Speeddasher, and Willy staring at the ship.

Tails then saw something in the distance. It had some mysterious fog surrounding it, but from what he could make out, it was some sort of vessel.

"Hey you two," he said. "I think there's a ship over there. Maybe they can help us get to the mainland.

Willy took one look at that ship and began to shake.

"I don't think th-that's a good idea."

"Come on," said Tails. "I don't wanna keep paddling here all day just trying to stay afloat. You can do what ever you want, but I'm going to check it out. You comin Speed."

"Eh, why not. I doubt there's anything on that ship that I can't handle."

The two penguins then started to swim towards the ship, and Willy just stayed where he was. Eventually though, he decided that he didn't want to be in the ocean alone, so he reluctantly followed the two towards the ship.

Mayor's Office, Ternville
2:45 PM, January 11th

"Well it would seem as though that flippin store clerk spiked that oil," said Mayor McFlapp. "I can sense karma coming to bite him in the behind one of these bally days, wot wot."

Mayor McFlapp was currently watching the situation the three were in from his television. If you want to know how he can do this, Mayor McFlapp has a satellite that can allow him to see anything, at any place, at any time! What's weird though is that according to the records, it would seem that the main area it's been pointing at is the beach and usually when there's a bunch of female terns there. We're just gonna assume Mayor McFlapp really likes the beach.

"Hey McFlappinbum!" Yelled Director Benny. "While you're over there watchin your little reality show, we're here workin our behinds off. I DO NOT APPROVE OF YOUR LAZINESS!"

"Oh put a bally herring in it Benny, wot wot! In case you haven't noticed, this is a flippin dark hour for Antarctica!"

"Whatever Alclair!

Mayor McFlapp began to get mad.




"I'm honestly surprised you didn't use the Over Nine-Thousand gag there, so props for that. Anyways, whatever floats your cloud Feather duster."

Mayor McFlapp had just about had it. He pulled out his cane and began whacking Benny in the head with it.


"Ow, hey leave the, ow, smart aleck, ow, comments to, ow, me! I DO, OW, NOT APPROVE OF, OW, THIS!"

Just then Mayor McFlapp heard something on the TV and stopped whacking Benny on the head. It sounded like a song that he'd heard before, but he couldn't put his wing on it. Just then he realized just what is was.


He imediatley ran towards the TV to get a closer look at the ship. There was no doubt about it. It was what he thought it was.

"It can't be bally true! It just can't bally be, wot wot!"

"Don't get your feathers all ruffled up Mayor! What are you freakin out over, it's just an old ship?"

Mayor McFlapp grabbed Benny and stuck his face right against the TV screen.

"OW, OW!"

"This, Benny, is not just a flippin old ship. This is the flippin old ship my bally granddaddy told me about! It's the flippin old ship of legends that date back to the bally confederacy. This is the flippin ship that every bally sailor feared. This flippin old ship, is The Siren's Ship, wot wot!"

Mayor McFlapp was quite nervous, while Benny was simply rolling his eyes.


"Oh, bally sorry Benny."

Mayor McFlapp put the puffle down and began to explain.

"It's an old legend my bally granddaddy used to tell me when I was a bally lad. Supposedly a long flippin time ago, there was a flippin ship that set out to the sea to discover bally new lands. After a few bally months, they had found nothing. They were close to flippin death, when all of a sudden they heard a bally strange sound. They looked all over the flippin place, until they saw her. What they saw, was a bally beautiful babe. She looked like a flippin penguin, but she was much more bally gorgeous than any babe they'd ever seen in their bally life."

Benny listend intently.

"She was playing a bally ocarina and the song made all the sailors become bally lazy. This Benny, was the bally Ocarina of Lassitude! Eventually she was able to make them bally sleep walk and they jumped into the flippin ocean were they were devoured by some bally Orca Whales. After that, she took the flippin ship for herself and soon found that the sailors had turned into bally ghosts. Since that day, she's controlled them with her ocarina and they've been sailing the flippin sea in search of more bally penguins unfortunate enough to cross their bally path, wot wot."

Benny just rolled his eyes.

"And how do you know what this song sounds like anyways? You certainly weren't alive back then? I DO NOT APPROVE!"

"Oh that's bally simple Benny. My bally granddaddy used to play the song for me on his ocarina when he wanted me to stop interrupting his flippin conversations with my bally daddy. It never flippin worked though as it just wasn't the same bally ocarina."

"Well how do you know this tale is even real? For all you know, it could be a fairy tale just made to scare Mwa Mwa Penguins?"

Mayor McFlapp simply put his head close to Benny and stared at him.

"Okay, this is pretty weird. Any closer and I think we're gonna need a Sonic Says."

"I just bally know Benny. Don't question my flippin wisdom."

With that the Mayor just went back to watching his TV, and Benny decided it would be best to forget this conversation ever happened. To be honest, I don't blame him.

"Hm, I wonder how things are going at that bally beach at the north pole right now," Mayor McFlapp thought. "I really should keep a bally eye on how those three are doing on the flippin ship, but then again my bally doctor said I shouldn't get my flippin stress level to high. Besides, I work all bally day, I deserve to have some fun once in awhile. Heh heh heh, wot wot!"

He then switched the satellite's angle so that it focused on a icy beach at the north pole where a large group of female Terns were relaxing near the shore.

"Heh heh bally ya baby! Save some of those bally babes for me, wot wot!"

Billybob then walked in and saw the Mayor watching his TV.

"Ugh, this is so embarrassing," he thought as he quickly left to work on some stories.


It's like I said, Mayor McFlapp loves the beach.

Siren's Ship
2:47 PM, January 11th

In a dark room aboard the ship, there sat a female penguin aboard the ship with a small turtle like creature standing next to her throne. Well, it was sort of like Melvin, but it was bipedal.

"Well what do you know," she said. "It would appear as though we have several penguins boarding the ship. And without my permission of all things."

"Shall I dispose of them my lady?" asked the creature. "I haven't killed anyone for decades and I'm more than ready to get my claws dirty."

"Patience, Yoki! It's been quite awhile since we've had trespassers on this ship. We should have some fun with them first."

The creature nodded in agreement and the female penguin got up from her throne.

"Well what are we waiting for. We mustn't keep our guests busy. Don't let them see any ghosts."

"Agreed my lady. I'll open the door for you right away."

Meanwhile outside, Tails6000, Speeddasher, and Willy had all gotten on board the ship. It was quite shaky and it was covered in all sorts of algae, but still seaworthy.

"Well this is quite an old vessel," said Tails. "I wonder who owns it?"

"Maybe pirates," said Willy. "Or worse. Ghost Pirates."

Tails6000 just shrugged.

"The only pirate I've ever known is Rockhopper, and he's not scary. He just talks weird."

"There are many others, Tails. Not all good, either."

Just then, they saw that a door leading to a cabin at the end of the ship had begun to open.

"Well, I guess we're about to meet whoever owns this ship," said Speeddasher.

"I just hope they're friendly," replied Willy, while he was shaking nervously.

Eventually they were able to see who had come out of the cabin. An attractive female penguin who appeared to be in her early twenties, and an angry bipedal turtle.

"Well that sure was unexpected," said Tails.

"Sh-she's beautiful!" exclaimed Willy.

The two approached the group and bowed.

"Hello strangers," said the penguin. "I've noticed you've stumbled onto my ship."

"We're sorry if we're intruding," said Speeddasher. "You see, our plane exploded and...

Yoki the Kappa

"Oh it's no problem at all. We rarely get visitors here, so this is a nice change of pace. Anyways, where are my manners? I'm Oceanus, and this here is my shipmate Yoki."

The small creature just gave the peace sign.

"Pleased to meet you," said Willy. "I'm William Jay Penguin, this here is Tails Maurice 6000, and this is Speeddasher, um, Speeddasher, well I'm not sure what his last name is."

"Oh the pleasure is all mine," replied Oceanus. "You three must be hungry. I insist you join us for dinner."

Willy nodded and imediatley ran towards the cabin.

"Come on guys, we wanna be polite. Let's not keep this nice lady and her turtle waiting."


Oceanus and Yoki followed Willy, while Tails and Speeddasher stayed behind for awhile.

"Since when does Willy ever call himself William, much less say his second and last name?" asked Speeddasher.

"I bet he likes her." replied Tails, winking. "By the way Speed, what is your last name?"

"We promised we'd never talk of this again."

Speed looked at Tails only to see he was gone. He looked around to see that Tails had wandered off to what looked like a vending machine.

"Tails, we're about to have dinner," he said. "Are you that hungry?"

"This ship looks pretty old Speed, so I'm assuming the food tastes like crap. I'm just gonna get myself a bit of the good stuff just in case."

Tails pulled out his wallet and walked up to the vending machine, only to trip over a loose plank and drop his wallet in a hole that lead to the lower deck.

"My wallet!" he yelled.

"We'll look for it later," said Speed. "We'd better go for dinner before Willy accuses us of not being polite."

"You go on ahead Speed. I don't want anyone below deck trying to steal it."

With that, Tails zoomed off to the lower deck, while Speed just calmly walked towards the dinning room.

In the dining room, Siren's Ship
3:07 PM, January 11th

Willy, and Speeddasher enjoyed a meal of fish and several types of algae as Oceanus asked them about where they were from. Willy was more than happy to answer all her questions.

"Well, I'm from Penguville, and Speeddasher here comes from Freezeland."

"What a coincidence," she replied. "I happen to be from Freezeland myself. Tell me, how's our home country faring right now Speeddasher?"

Speeddasher just shrugged.

"I don't know. I haven't lived there since around ninety years ago."

Oceanus looked shocked.

"You're telling me you're that old?"


"Oh, I'm sorry sir. You just didn't strike me as being that age."

"It's a long story," said Willy. "We'll tell it to you later."

Oceanus nodded in agreement.

"So tell me, where exactly are you guys headed?" asked Oceanus.

"We're just trying to get to the mainland so we can stop some evil scientist from taking over the world," Willy replied.

"Oh, okay. Well, I wish you guys the best of luck on your quest."

Willy simply blushed and continued to eat. Yoki had not said a word since they started eating and was simply staring at the chair that was unoccupied.

"So tell me, where has your little friend gone?" he finally asked. "Tails6000 was it?"

"He went to the lower deck to find his wallet," answered Speeddasher. "He dropped it down a hole when he was trying to order from that vending machine."

Oceanus's smile had turned into a serious look. She gave Yoki a concerned look, and he imediatley nodded and left the table.

"Well, I'd better go help him find it then," replied Yoki. "It's quite easy to get lost down there."

Yoki left to go below the deck while Oceanus just smirked. The three continued to eat, unaware that Tails6000 was in grave danger.

Lower Deck, Siren's Ship
3:13 PM, January 11th

Tails6000 hadn't had any luck in finding his wallet. It was very dark in the lower deck, but not so much that he couldn't see were he was going. Algae was everywhere, and he could've sworn that he'd heard some noises from time to time.

"This is just great," said Tails. "I can't seem to find my wallet anywhere. That and this place smells like fish poop."

"....he-hellllllllp-uh..." a voice moaned..

Tails looked around to see were the voice was coming from. He couldn't find it anywhere though.

"Are you talking to me, voice?"

"Yesss-uh. I'm in thissss jar, and I need you... to free me..."

"What jar? Where are you anyways?"

"The counter-uh.... behind you..."

Tails looked behind him to see a counter. On the counter was small jar with a green, zombie-like penguin inside of it, and right next to that jar was his wallet.

"Success!" Yelled Tails.

Faster than you could say money, Tails6000 ran towards his wallet and held it up in the air happily. A bit over dramatic don't you think?

"You got your wallet-uh, child! Pleasssee-uh. Free me!"

"Oh, so that's where the voice was coming from," said Tails. "Okay, I'll open up this jar."

Tails tried to open the jar, and after around a minute he succeeded. The penguin the fell out, and grew to the size of a regular penguin. After he'd gotten up, he slowly rose to full height and looked to Tails, and smiled. He was an ugly thing, probably a zombie of sorts. He wore a tattered robe with algae, seaweed, and barnacles growing upon it, and an old, cracked, tarnished circlet of a crown sat on his head. He had a crab's claw for one flipper, fingers on the other, and was missing a foot. He had glowing red pupils in his yellow-colored eyes, but suprisingly, they exhibited a soft, kind look, like one of someone Tails could trust. Or, like a grandfather seeing his grandchildren.

"Thank you so muccchh-uh." the zombie said, kindly. He bowed slightly and introduced himself. "The name's David Jonesssss-uh. Guide to the dead who are lost at sea, dealmaker, ship driver, and agent of deaaatthhh-uh."

"WOW! You're the David Jones!" exclaimed Tails6000. "...say, what were you doin' in that jar?"

"Ohhh.... long ssstory, child, long... LONG... story-uh."

Just then, the two heard the sound of footsteps and David Jones began to shake with fear.

"Ohhh no, it's-uh that Kappuh. He'sss-uh the one who imprisssoned me in that jar-uh. Perhapsss-uh we ssshould discuss-uh thisss elsewhere."

"You mean Yoki?" asked Tails. "He doesn't seem to dangerous."

"That iiinocent looking disssguise-uh, it'sss all a deeeviiious trick-uh. He be a leopard seal in pufflesss clothing. Metaphorrrically speaking-uh."

Tails nodded as quickly grabbed David Jones's flipper and dashed into the darkest part of the lower deck. After awhile they saw that there was a light ahead. The light appeared to be coming from a human carrying a lantern while reading a script titled "Tails6000 and the Ray of Youth". Wait a minute, why are those two penguins running towards me?

"Hi," said Tails. "Who are you?"

This is just insanity. Was the whole reason they told be to bring all my recording equipment here just for this scene?

"What are you talking about?" Asked Tails.

Oh um, nothing. I'm just a ghost that, um... has possessed a mannequin, yes that's it. We'll go with that. I'm a ghost that has possessed a mannequin.

"What an untrussstworthy soul-uh. Don't believe uh worrrd he saysss child."

Okay, look I don't care if you trust me or not. Just run along that way so we can continue with the story.

"Story?" Asked Tails.

Oh um, did I say story. What I meant to say was, well. I have gotten myself in a pickle haven't I.

"Oh well. We don't have time to stay here. We've gotta escape from that Kappa thing. See ya later."

With that the two zoomed off, leaving me to continue reading the script. Phew, dodged a bullet. It's been a pretty weird chapter, so why don't you say we take a break. That okay? It is. Good, because I really need to let this all sink in. Plus I don't want my recording equipment to get wet in case a plot device ends up sinking this ship later in the story. So while your waiting for the next chapter. Check out some of these stories, trust me they're worth checking out. Advertisement FTW!

Chapter VI: The weary tale of the Siren! I'm just a sweet spandex wearing kappa?[edit]

Aye-Que's Main Base, Ayetropolis
3:29 PM, January 11th

What a day this has been so far. Tails6000 and his group fought off Cyber Tails, had their plane blown up, and are now in danger of becoming the next members of Oceanus's ghostly crew. Aye-Que however has had quite a regular day so far. At least by his standards.

"So they're on board the Siren's Ship," said Aye-Que to himself. "I thought it was just a legend parents told to their kids so that they wouldn't try and eat the yellow snow on the beach. Yes, telling them it was the Siren's hypnotic potion usually did the trick."

"That's quite vulgar don't you think Doctor?" T.O.D.D added in. "You know I got yellow snow stuck on my motherboard once. I had to go through a cybernetic fever just to melt it."

"You really had to remind me about that time didn't you. It doesn't even make any sense. What sort of imbecile would want to eat yellow snow anyways?"

I do hope this entire scene isn't just these two talking about yellow snow.

"What makes the snow yellow anyways?" Asked T.O.D.D.

Okay, this is just low. You know what, we're not going through with this gag. It's over. Gag aborted! It's just a really low level to sink to, though not quite like the standards of Aunt Agatha. No I still haven't gotten over that scene. Anyways, let's just skip this conversation while this scene still has some dignity.

"By the way Doctor, it would appear that Major Alpha is ready to talk to you through com link."

Aye-Que began to laugh.

"Excellent. Finally I'll get to speak to someone with a functioning brain. Put him on the webcam."

"Right on it doctor! Do you think I should arrange some refreshments, like a bowl of Poritos or something? Maybe we could watch a movie or something like that. I hear that Live Soft 2 is quite an exhilarating experience! I'm so excited I don't even want to wait any longer. I'll start the movie right now!"

Aye-Que threw a wrench at the computer and growled.


"Oh, ya! R-right away doctor!"

With that the computer cut to static for a few seconds and then a shadow figure appeared on his screen.

"Well, I see you were able to report on your current status."

"I hope I'm not intruding doctor, but I just thought you'd like to know how things are going up in Freezeland. Now anyways, let's get down to business."

Lower Deck, Siren's Ship
3:35 PM, January 11th

"You see child, thissss jar can contain any object. No matter-uh how big or sssmall."

David Jones had just finished explaining the story of how he ended up in the jar to Tails6000. The penguin had followed the story quite well.

"Okay, so let me see if I've got this straight," said Tails. "You were searching for ghosts at sea, and you felt that there were a lot of them on this ship, so you climbed aboard and suddenly became super sleepy because that Yoki guy played from magical Ocarina that made you tired, and then you woke up in this "Jar of Containment" thingy?"

"Yesss-uh. You are a good lissstener."

Tails then stood up and began to get serious about things.

"So basically Oceanus is really a dangerous Siren who's been terrorizing the sea since the Confederacy?"

David Jones nodded while he proceeded to get up and put his flipper on Tails's shoulder.

"Your frrriendsss-uh. They'll be in great... GREAT danger if we don't get-uh to them in time-uh."

"Right," replied Tails6000. "Grab onto my flipper. Once I save my friends, I'm gonna sink this vessel, and it's crap food along with it!"

"Oh, but I can't very well let you do that," said a voice.

The two penguin saw that Yoki the Kappa was standing right next to them and he looked very angry. He was holding a long sword and Tails got ready to fight.

"It would appear curiosity beheaded the penguin," said the Kappa. "Do you really think you can beat me? After all, you're dealing with someone who's been killing for over five-hundred years."

"No offense Yoki, but you hardly have a strong build," replied Tails. "Tell you what, let us pass and I won't hurt you."

Yoki just began to laugh as he held his sword up to his face.

"I believe it is you who should be worried. Things are not always as they appear penguin."

"Ch-child, thisss-uh isss what I've been telling you about-uh. That body of hisss is merely a disguise-uh. He'sss much... MUCH stronger than he looksss-uh."

"You should listen to your elders penguin. I could tell you what my true form is like, but why tell when I can show."

The Kappa then balled his fists up and began to yell in pain. It would appear that his body was changing in size and appearance. The shaggy hair that rested on top of his head was now becoming long, and smooth. His beak began to sink into his face, and a nose began to appear. His limbs grew longer as they became more muscular, and soon a bright light flashed around him. The reason for the bright light is for dramatic effect and so that his true form will slowly be unveiled.

"So then," said Tails6000. "Make that light fade away so we can see what you really look like. Or are you to ugly to be seen by us?"

"Why should I be embarrassed," said Yoki, who now seemed to sport a slight British accent. "I'm most happy with how I really look."

Yoki's true form.

The light then faded away and Tails was shocked at what he saw. Standing where a short turtle-like creature used to be, was a 7 foot tall, green, humanoid creature. He had long flowing hair and if he wasn't green and scaly with a turtle shell on his back, most human girls would probably find him attractive.

"You-you've gotta be kidding me," said Tails. "That's what you really look like?"

"I know," replied Yoki. "Must be so shocking to see me in this appearance. It's hard for me to conceal such beauty. You have no idea how hard it is!"

Yoki began to shed tears as Tails6000 and David Jones just watched surprisingly.

"I think I liked him better when he was a crabby, old Turtle-thing," Tails whispered.

"You and me both-uh."

Yoki stopped shedding tears and seemingly pulled a rose out of nowhere. He began to smell the flower and let out a sigh.

"Such beauty, such a fragrant smell," he said. "Times that by ten and you've got me. Yoki the Kappa of Sake Village, the most handsome man on these waters."

"Heh, you seem to be all talk pretty boy," replied Tails. "Looks aren't gonna get you anywhere in a fight. So why don't you say we get this over with."

Yoki nodded as he pulled out a strange looking instrument. It was the Ocarina of Lassitude.

"Child, remember what I sssaid-uh! That thing hasss the ocarinuh! He'sss dangerousss!"

Tails just winked and went into his fighting position.

"Already got a plan David," he replied. "You'll need to hand me some of your algae though."

David Jones was confused, but he didn't refuse, and quickly pulled some off of his zombified body. Tails then put in his pocket.

"Come on already," said Yoki. "Time is a precious gift that must not be wasted. Let's get this over with."

Tails nodded and got ready to fight off the creature. The battle then began, but we're not going to be covering it till after this scene.

In the dining room, Siren's Ship
3:38 PM, January 11th

"There certainly seems to be quite a bunch of noise down in the lower deck," said Speeddasher. "Perhaps I should go see what's going on."

Speeddasher got up, but Oceanus grabbed onto his flipper.

"No please don't leave," she said. "They'll be fine down there. Please stay here, for me."

Oceanus began giving Speeddasher a droopy eyed looking face, and Willy began to get a bit jealous. The ninja removed her flipper from him and shook his head.

"Knowing Tails he's got himself stuck in a lobster trap. I'll be back in a minute."

"Yes, maybe Speed should leave for a few minutes," said Willy as if he was implying something. "Tails might be in big trouble."

Oceanus got up and pulled out a sword which she held at Speed's neck. Willy was shocked at the sight.

"You can't go down there!" She yelled.

"And why not?" Speed asked.

There was a moment of silence.

"Be-because, because I...

Oceanus knew she couldn't let Speed find out the truth or her identity as a Siren would be ruined. Without any other idea, she wrapped her flippers around his neck and kissed him. She quickly backed away and Speed was left not knowing what to think. Willy was furious at this point and had began scratching the table with his fork.

"That should've been me!" He thought to himself. "What does she see in that grumpy old ninja anyways."

"Speed I-I know this may sound weird, but I care about you," Oceanus cried. "I don't know why, but I do. I don't want you to get hurt down there if there really is something dangerous."

Speeddasher didn't know what to think, but he decided that he would do what's right. He went up to Oceanus and gave her a big hug, while Willy was still enraged.

"That's very sweet of you!" Speed said. "No one has ever cared about me like that. I never thought anyone could truly care about me. Thank you Oceanus.."

Oceanus smirked as she thought she had tricked Speeddasher, but all of a sudden she felt something at the back of her neck. She turned around to see the ninja was holding his katana to her neck.

"-but tell me, if you're so concerned for my safety, why does Tails not matter? I don't think it's a factor at all: you're just concerned I'll see something down there you don't want me to see."

Willy had gone from being angry to terrified. He couldn't believe Speed was doing this to such a beautiful lady.

"Speeddasher!" He yelled. "What do you think you're doing?!?! Is this what you do on all your dates?!?! If so now I know while you'll never get married! You'll just die old and alone!"

"Hey shut up and don't call me old!" Speed yelled back. "She's not what you think she is Willy! She's... augh!"

Before Speed could finish his sentence, Oceanus had pulled out a knife and stabbed Speed in the stomach. The siren laughed gleefully as Speed fell to the floor in pain.

"I'd have thought you'd know better, ninja! " she said. "You let your guard down while arguing with that little pest, and that's why I was able to...WHAT THE!"

Right before her eyes, Speed got up and she saw that his wound had completely healed. She was shocked at what she'd seen and at this point she really wished she hadn't let Yoki borrow her ocarina.

"I also expected more from you," Speed replied. "Never assume that your opponent is defeated so soon into the battle. Though if it means anything, you did get some blood my belt."

"No that means absolutely nothing to me ninja."

"Just like I expected. So I'm guessing you're the Siren from the legends I used to hear about."

"I'm impressed that you figured it out. Tell me, how did you manage to find out my true identity."

"It's quite simple really. First, you're hot; sirens are hot."

Oceanus snickered.

"Guilty as a charged."

"Second, I was able to sense quite a lot of strange energy from your ship when our plane crashed. Third, you invited us to come to dinner. It's only a bit over half-past three, dinner is rarely served that early. I could only assume you wanted to keep us from going to lower deck. Fourth, you stopping me from going below deck. I know Tails, and while he's possibly one of the most childish penguins I've ever met, he knows how to handle himself in a fight, and I have no doubt he'll win against your Kappa. I was merely testing you to see if my suspicions were right."

Oceanus started to laugh.

"Quite the deduction there. It's very rare that I find a penguin with even the slightest bit of intelligence."

"Hey!" Yelled Willy. "I'll have you know I'm quite intelligent!"

"You fell for my beauty before I even said one word. You call that being smart."

PWNED! Sorry I had to do that. Anyways, Speed held out his katana and held it up to the siren's neck.

"If you want to live, you're going to tell me everything about you, and that Kappa of yours."

Oceanus huffed.

"Fine, I can except defeat. I'll tell you everything you need to know."

For your convenience we're going to skip the dialogue, and go straight to a flashback.

Near a stream, Ard Mhacha City, Freezeland
5:32 PM, July 4th, 1482

It was late in the afternoon and a little girl was sitting by the stream crying. You see, her father turned out to be a jerk who tried to assassinate Finwe and he'd been executed a few day ago. Her mother had left soon after she was born due to not wanting a chick, and now she had nowhere to live except the orphanage. Due to this, she held a deep grudge against them and not a day went by when she didn't think about how much she hated them. You know, I hold lot's of grudges. Well actually only one, and it's for whoever showed me Aunt Agatha in the bathtub. Now I'll never look at hot tubs the same way ever again.

"I hate my parents," she cried. "I hate them. I hate their guts! I hate them more than I hate the orphanage food! I hate them more than I hate anything else in the world!"

Just then she spotted something near the river. It resembled a turtle, but it had hair on it's head and it appeared to be bipedal from it's body structure.

"Oh no, the poor thing," she said.

She quickly ran towards it and tried to check it's pulse. Thankfully, it appeared to in good condition, except that it couldn't move. She then noticed that it appeared to have a hole in it's head which was surrounded by a cracked dome.

"I guess someone decide to eat your brain, mister Turtle-thing. Is that why you can't move?"

The turtle creature continued to remain still, and the penguin kept trying to find ways to get him to wake up. Eventually, she tried giving him some water, and she tried to sit him up against a tree branch so she could give him it. She ended up tripping over a root though and the water spilled into the cavity in his head.

"Oh no! I've got to get that out of there before it does any damage to his brainless head!"

She was about to run away, until the turtle creature began to move. It's dome began to grow back, and it then stood up as it stretched it's arms.

"Augh! About time that dome was refilled. I thought I was gonna be stuck like that forever."

"Mister Turtle-thing, you're alive," said the penguin as she went to hug him.

"Oh yes, you have my greatest gratitude for refilling my cavity for me. Yoki the Kappa, am forever in your dept."

The penguin looked confused at first, but Yoki began to explain it to her. He told he that Kappas can't move unless their water cavity is full, and whoever refills it becomes their master. He also explained that he can not break any promise.

"That's very generous of you, but I don't know what I need from you. Besides, how did you get your dome cracked anyways?"

"Well that is a story worth telling. I was trying to smuggle some weapons that I could use to defeat my mother's new boyfriend. Once she found out she broke my dome and left me right here so that her next relationship would work out better. Eleventh time's the charm I suppose."

"I know what you mean Mister Turtle-thing. I hate my parents too. They were never there for me. No on was ever there for me. Ever."

"I suppose you're in luck then. As your servant, I will always be there for you. It's the Code of the Kappas, and one that can not be broken. So let's head back to your house and get something to eat."

The penguin nodded and the two headed towards the orphanage. Unknown to the two, this would get them in even more trouble.

Lower Deck, Siren's Ship
3:40 PM, January 11th

The battle between Tails6000 and Yoki had been going on for a few minutes now. They seemed to be equally matched so Yoki felt no need to use the Ocarina. That all changed soon enough.

"Well," said Tails. "It would seem David Jones wasn't lying. You are quite strong."

"I'm glad someone recognizes my talent besides my master. I would give you my greatest thanks penguin, if we weren't enemies that is."

"Fine by me. I didn't think I'd have to use this, but I suppose I'll have to. Gotta be careful where I aim it though, cause I don't wanna sink the ship."

Yoki looked confused and then he saw Tails begining to charge up his hadouken attack. The kappa was quite curious and scarred at the same time.

"HADOUKEN!" Yelled Tails as he shot the energy straight at the kappa.

"TO SLOW!" Yoki Exclaimed, and he quickly ducked out of the way.

The blast just missed him and ended up creating a hole in the side of the ship which water began leaking through. Yoki however was busy dealing with a crisis of his own, as he began to freak out as he felt his hair.

"My hair," he said. "It, it, it, it...

"What are you freaking out over?" Asked Tails.

"It has a split end," he whispered.

"A what?"


The sound made the entire room shake and David Jones quickly hid behind a barrel of Cream Soda in terror.

"I c-can't believe it," Yoki said as he began to shed tears. "I've fought many battles, with many penguins. But not on has ever given my hair even the slightest bit of dander. Now this h-horrible monster comes and gives my beautiful head of hair, A SPLIT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNND! I can't believe what you've just done. WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!?!"

"Um, I don't know. Can't you just pull the hair out."

Yoki jaw dropped as he got even more furious.


The kappa continued to cry and Tails had to stop himself from laughing.

"This guy can't be for real," he thought.

Yoki eventually stopped crying over the split end, but he was still enraged at Tails.

"You've left me no choice penguin. I'll send you into a slumber from which you'll never wake up from!"

He then pulled out the ocarina and began to play the song. David Jones ended up falling asleep, and it looked like Tails would soon pass out as well. However, the young penguin had a trick up his sleeve, or more specifically in his pocket. I'm pretty sure you guys are all wondering what that algae he took was for. Well you're about to find out.

"Think again Yoki," replied Tails as he began to stuff the algae into his ears (or whatever penguins have).

Yoki continued to play the song, but it had no effect on Tails. Eventually, the kappa was worn out from playing, and he fell to his knees.

"H-how did you not fall asleep penguin? I've used that song on many penguins and it's never failed me once?"

Tails cupped his flipper around his ear and tried to hear what Yoki was saying.

"UM, WHAT WAS THAT?!?!" Tails asked. "YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP?!?!"



Tails then quickly zoomed towards where Yoki was and grabbed the ocarina from him.

"Now to take care of this thing."

Tails squeezed the ocarina tight until it completely smashed, rendering it useless.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Yoki.

With the Ocarina of Lassitude broken, the countless ghosts on the ship came back to their senses and left out towards the ocean. David Jones cheered Tails on and quickly ran towards the hole in the boat.


"Understood," Tails replied. "Good luck!"

David then waved goodbye, and swam off towards his ship. Yoki then got up, and began to tremble with fear.

"I don't believe this," he said. "First I get A SPLIT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNND!, and now hundreds of years worth of ghosts gone! I'm going to be in so much trouble when master finds out."

"Give it up Yoki. You're defeated, and knowing Speed he's already taken care of your master. It's over!"

The kappa then turned to Tails and began to laugh again.

"How stupid of you!" He yelled. "Just because you destroyed the ocarina, doesn't mean you've won. I've got many more tricks that I'm more than ready to show you."

"Hmph, fine then. I guess I've got some time to kill. Show me what you've got kappa."

"With pleasure."

Yoki then pressed his index finger against his forehead and his body began to form an aura around itself. Tails at first though he was going through another transformation, but soon realized that it wasn't the case. Instead, Yoki began to grow multiple, enormous pimples all over his body. Tails was grossed out by this, and Yoki began to cry.

"I know, this attack is hideous. I normally don't use it, but you've forced me to!"

Soon the pimples appeared to be an inch in diameter each, and they looked ready to explode at any minute. Yoki then held his arms out wide, and the pimples began to grow even larger.


The moment he yelled this word, the pimples shot out a green substance that came at Tails in all directions. As much as the penguin tried, he couldn't dodge all of the blasts and eventually some landed on his hoddie. Once it landed, Tails noticed that it melted through the hoddie and left behind a small hole. He then looked around to see that everything else it had touched was now melted.

"Wow," said Tails. "That attack was gross. But effective none the less. That puss must be made out of toxic waste or something."

"It's wasabi you idiot! I've never had a puss filled pimple in my life!"

"Well, either way, that attack didn't do me any harm. So why don't you just surrender."

Yoki was getting quite nervous at this point, but he refused to surrender.

"Oh would you look at the time, I really must be going. Toodles!"

With that, Yoki quickly ran towards the upper deck, and Tails followed close behind.

In a large forest, Freezeland
1:32 AM, November 19th, 1483

The young penguin, now named Oceanus, and her kappa had been wandering throughout the wilderness for around a year, and had barely survived the harsh climate.

"Again my lady, I apologize that I got you kicked out of the city," Yoki said. "I now realize that using the Jar of Containment on the mayor wasn't the best idea."

"It's okay Yoki. You're the only friend I've ever had, and I don't wanna live in that rat-hole anyways. I do wish we had something to eat though."

"Hey, what's that over there." Yoki pointed.

Oceanus looked where Yoki was pointing, and saw a tall fruit tree in the distance. Despite all the other flora being dead, this one tree was in perfect condition, and it's fruit was more ripe than anything the two had every seen before.

"FOOD!" They both yelled as the ran towards the tree.

The two were about to grab the fruit when they heard a voice speak to them.

"Yo!" Yelled the voice. "Who dares to approach my tree?!?!"

The two were terrified at the voice they had heard, and they imediatley took a few steps back.

"Who-who are you?" Asked Oceanus.

"Who am I? WHO AM I?!?!"

"Yes who are you?!?!" Yelled Yoki.

"Well excuse me for trying to ad some suspense in this chapter. Anyways, I am the guardian of this here tree! I am Master Mako!"

The two stood in silence.

"Well, M-Master Mako," said Oceanus. "Show yourself!"

"These kids are so demanding these days. Very well child! I shall reveal myself to you and your little turtle-thing."


Just then they heard some rustling in the bushes. They looked around and they didn't see anything. When they looked back toward the tree though, they saw who was making the noise. It was a black puffle holding a wooden staff. His hair was quite scruffy, and he appeared to be blind due to old age.

"I take it you're this Master Mako guy?" Asked Yoki.

"That I am turtle-man. I am fruit daddy, the planter of this tree, and I guard it with all my heart and soul."

"But why?" Asked Oceanus. "What's so special about it?"

"Oh ho, there is much that is special about this tree sister. This tree is one of a kind, and my pride and joy. It was planted from seeds made by magic, and possibly some genetic alteration. It is The Tree of Desire."

Oceanus and Yoki just looked puzzled.

"What's The Tree of Desire?" Oceanus Asked.

"I am surprise you and your reptilian friend have not heard of it sister. It is, as the name says. Eat it's fruit, and your greatest desires will be yours."

"That sounds like a scam," said Yoki.

"Do you doubt my words of wisdom my reptilian brother? I am telling you a honest truth. This tree can grant you anything, no strings attached. Unless of coarse it involves altering the laws of the universe, make someone go against free will, or bringing the dead back to life that is."

"Well, I want to try it," said Oceanus.

The penguin walked up to the tree only to have Mako stop her.

"Hold it right there sister. I can't have just anyone comin here and taking a bite of of my tree's fruit. You gotta pay up first."

"Ugh, how much does it cost for two of those fruits?"

Mako stopped to think for awhile, and by awhile I mean around half an hour. Finally though, he came up with a payment.

"Well, it would appear as though I have come up with a suitable payment. In order to eat from this tree, you must...

"Yes, yes," they both said.

"Give me a haircut."

The two looked shocked.

"Really," said Yoki. "That's all you want?"

"Well I've been alive for longer than you two can imagine. Once I became blind, my hair became a mess. The guardian of the tree has gotta keep a good profile you know."

Oceanus luckily had a knife with her, and she began to cut the puffles hair. She figured that since he was blind, it wouldn't matter what she made it look like. She was right.

"Well, I've cut your hair," she said. "Now can we have some of that fruit?"

"You have clearly proven yourself worthy sister. You and the turtle-man can take the two fruit you so desire."

"Hey wait a minute," said Yoki. "I just realized something. If you're blind, how can you tell I look like a turtle."

"Lucky guess turtle-man."

The two then ran up to the tree and each of them grabbed a fruit. Once they had taken a bite, they knew they were on their way to greatness.

In the dining room, Siren's Ship
3:48 PM, January 11th

"And we each got what we desired the most," Oceanus finished. "I wished for a powerful weapon to get back at those who had made my life horrible, and Yoki wished to be good-looking, and for eternal youth. We then stole a ship from some pirates and set out to sea where we began our new life."

"I'm guessing that weapon was the ocarina?" Asked Speeddasher.

Oceanus nodded and Willy began to feel sorry for her.

"Speed let her go!" He yelled. "She's had a hard time, and she doesn't know any better."

Speed simply shook his head.

"Hard time or not, that doesn't excuse what she's done Willy. She's killed hundreds of penguins who had nothing to do with this and we can't let her continue doing it."

"Kill me if you want," she said. "I'll never stop doing what I've done, even if you let me go."

Speed was about to finish her off and Willy covered his eyes. Just then a plot device came crashing through the door in the form of Tails6000 and Yoki.

"YOKI!" Yelled Oceanus.

"I'm sorry my lady. I was overpowered, and he broke the ocarina. Plus he gave me, a-a-a-A SPLIT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNND!"

Willy looked confused. He couldn't believe that the green, seven foot, humanoid reptile was the same old, grumpy kappa who he'd first seen on the ship.

"WHAT!" She yelled. "Without the ocarina our lifestyle is ruined. However, there is one way you can redeem yourself. Use your final technique on that fast moving penguin who broke the ocarina."

Yoki looked shocked.

"You don't mean that technique, do you my lady?"

"Yes! That technique."

Yoki was looked quite nervous at first, but soon a smirk came across his face.

"This is gonna be fun penguin," he said. "I'm rarely allowed to use this technique, but now that my master has given me permission. I HAVE PERMISSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIION!"

After using that outdated reference, Yoki put his two index fingers together like a gun, and they started to glow bright green. Tails tried to run away, but Yoki somehow appeared to be ready to aim at wherever he went.

"I can't shake this guy off!" Yelled Tails.

"Using this technique I can sense your energy and lock onto you no matter where you are penguin. There's no hope in running."

Finally, Yoki was ready to fire, and Tails was still trying to think off a way to escape. Speeddasher didn't dare let the Siren go, and Willy was quite scared of what might happen.

"CUCUMBER BEAM!" Yoki yelled.

The green light the shot straight toward Tails, and it looked like it was all over. Just then however, Willy jumped in the way and took the hit from the beam.

"WILLY!" Yelled Tails and Speeddasher.

A bright light then surrounded the penguin, and eventually it ceased. When Tails and Speeddasher looked again, all they could see was a cucumber where Willy used to be standing.

"I-is that cucumber Willy?" Asked Tails.

"WHAT?!?!" Yelled Yoki. "I was supposed to hit the other one? Oh well, I guess this one will just have to do."

Tails and Speeddasher looked in shock, while Oceanus simply laughed.

"This isn't looking good," said Speeddasher.

"I know," replied Tails. "Kwiksilver is gonna kill us."

It would appear one of the few brave things Willy has ever done, has turned him into a vegetable. Is it all over for Kwiksilver's Apprentice, or can Tails and Speed find a way to save him? Find out on the next thrilling chapter of Tails6000 and the Ray of Youth.

Chapter VII: Willy the Cucumber held hostage. The mysterious hero Reaper?[edit]

Mayor's Office, Ternville
3:53 PM, January 11th

All the Masters of the Universe were busy watching the events that had just taken place on the Siren's Ship. They couldn't see all the details, as Mayor McFlapp didn't want to send his floating camera into the ship due to fearing it might get broken. He really should start buying warranties on the things he purchases. Anyways, despite them not being able to see all of what was going on, Mayor McFlapp could tell what was happening from the yells that he heard.

"It's-it's just as I bally feared," said Mayor McFlapp. "One of them has perished on that that flippin cursed vessel, wot wot."

"Wh-which one?" Asked Benny with a surprising bit of concern.

There was a moment of silence until Mayor McFlapp turned his head towards the puffle.


"B-b-b-b-but how did he d-d-d-d-d-die?" Asked Illustrator Keith.

"I said nothing about bally death," replied Mayor McFlapp. "Though this might be a flippin fate even worse than death itself. He's been hit with the bally Cucumber Beam."

DJ X was quite puzzled at what Mayor McFlapp had just said.

"Yo Mayor, I don't think our thoughts are in sync right now. Would ya mind telling all use here what this Cucumber Beam is?"

"Yes Mayor," Billybob added in. "What is it?"

"It's a bally powerful attack that only the flippin kappas know how to bally pull off. The bally unfortunate soul who is hit by it gets turned into a flippin cucumber. And it's a bally known fact that kappas flippin love to eat cucumbers, wot wot."

The rest of the masters were quite terrified by this, especially Illustrator Keith.

"EEK! That sounds sc-sc-sc-scary. B-b-b-b-but Mayor, isn't there anyway to r-r-r-r-reverse the effect?"

"Unfortunately Keith, I only know of one bally way to reverse it, and that's if that flippin kappa wants it to be reversed. It's beyond even our bally control! No bally sooner, no flippin later. Because of this bally fact, I think our bally friend Willy is either flippin doomed to end up in that flippin kappa's stomach, or await being bally chopped to pieces at a bally spa."

"EEEEEK!" Yelled Keith. "And I have a spa appointment next Friday!"

"Well just be careful not to eat any cucumbers when you're there," Benny joked.

Mayor McFlapp lifted up his cane a smacked Benny on the head.


"Ow, just trying to lighten the mood a little! This is a PG rated story, y'know."

"The Mayor is right Benny," said Billybob. "If they can't find a way to reverse it, Willy is doomed."

DJ X patted Billybob on the back.

"Yo, don't worry about it Billy. This is Tails6000 we're talkin about. That dude's been is worse situations than this."

"I wish I was as bally confident as you X. Tails will need all the flippin skill in the world if he wants to save Willy, wot wot."

With that, the Masters simply continued to watch Mayor McFlapp's TV, and hoped that Tails would be able to save Willy.

In the dining room, Siren's Ship
3:54 PM, January 11th

Tails and Speeddasher simply looked in shock as Yoki picked up the cucumber that used to be Willy.

"Good job Yoki," said Oceanus. "Now why don't you... AUGH!"

Before she could finish her sentence, Speed had stabbed her with his katana. Oceanus then fell to the floor, and began to pant heavily. She attempted to stop the bleeding, but it was no use.

"My, my, MY LADY!" Yelled Yoki as he ran over to her side.

Tails was shocked at what Speed had done, and the ninja then looked towards him.

"She gave that kappa the order to use that attack," Speeddasher said. "She's lived her life doing nothing but taking life from others. There was no way I'd let her live."

"MY LADY!" Cried the kappa.

"Y-Yoki," she said. "I'm going to die, but I want to to follow my last order."

Yoki lifted Oceanus up to his face and she whispered something into his ear.

"I'm counting on you to do it my friend."

And with that, Oceanus's body lay limp and motionless. She was dead. Yoki began to weep even more as Speed simply starred at him.

"You two brought this on yourself," the ninja said. "Now I suggest you change that penguin back, before I kill you as well."

Yoki became enraged at Speed and tried to charge at him. The ninja simply got out of the way however, and Yoki ran into the wall.

"Speed!" Yelled Tails. "Leave him to me!"

Speed turned towards Tails and nodded.

"You want him. He's all yours."

Yoki simply laughed and held an activated bomb up above his head.

"You want your friend little penguin. COME AND GET HIM!"

With that, the kappa jumped out of the window and began to swim away at an incredible speed with Willy.

"CRAP!" Yelled Tails. "We've gotta get out of here before this ship explodes."

"Let's go after him!" Yelled Speeddasher. "Your speed should allow you to run on the water, so you should be able to keep up with him easily. Try and make him go onto dry land, and then we'll take him down."

Tails nodded and quickly began to chase after the kappa, and Speed swam close behind. Tails eventually caught up to the kappa, who was quite shocked to see him.


"You certainly are an annoying one. I guess I'll just have to pick up the pace a little!"

With that Yoki began to swim even faster and left Tails far behind.

"Well that was easily taken care of."

"Looking for me!"

Yoki looked behind him to see Tails6000 only a few feet behind him.

"H-h-h-how did you..."

"I'm the fastest penguin in the world and I can match any speed you choose to go at! You might as well give up now!"

Yoki began to get nervous, but then got an idea.

"I must admit, I'm impressed with your speed penguin. But let's see how fast you can go under the water."


The kappa then dived under the water, and Tails quickly swam after him. Unfortunately for Tails, he couldn't swim as fast as he could run, so this gave Yoki a clear advantage. Just then, Tails saw Speed coming up at an incredible speed. The ninja had always been quite a good swimmer, and even knew how to use his katana underwater (swords are hyrodynamic!), so Tails was certain Yoki was in for big trouble.

"What a fool," Yoki thought. "Not only am I a faster swimmer, but I can also hold my breath for hours upon hours. I'm such a clever kappa."

Yoki then felt something approaching, and he turned around to see Speeddasher ready to swing his katana. The kappa quickly ducked, and managed to kick the ninja in the neck.

"AAAAAUGH!" Speed yelled.

Tails became nervous when he heard a loud crack, obviously one regarding the spine. He realized that Yoki had broken Speed's neck. The ninja quickly healed, but because his mouth had opened when his neck snapped, he was forced to go back up for air, giving Yoki plenty of time to escape.

"Some ninja," Yoki thought. "There's no way they can catch up to me now."

Speed had dived back under water and was now trying to catch up to Yoki, but that kappa had gotten to far away. It seemed that all hope was lost, when all of a sudden the penguins and Yoki felt something happening.

"Wh-what's going on?" Tails thought.

"I feel some sort of strange movement happening in the water."

Willy, well Willy didn't think anything. He's a cucumber what do you expect? Anyways, the two penguins and the kappa soon found themselves lifted out of the out of the water. Tails looked down and saw that they were all on a giant wave.

"Hello again child. Thought-uh I could give you some asssssistance."

Tails smiled when he heard the voice, and he looked around to see David Jones on his ship with his crew.

"But I thought you didn't fight David?" Asked Tails.

"I may be a pacifissst child, but that-uh doesssn't mean I can't help a friend-uh. I'll just-uh sssend you all to dry land-uh. There you can continue your fight-uh."

"Who the heck is that guy?" Asked Speeddasher.

"Long story," answered Tails. "I'll tell you about it later."

Yoki had gotten enraged at David Jones's interference.

"You annoying little zombie! Perhaps I'll use my CUCUMBER BEAM on you now."

The kappa was about to use his attack, but David Jones simply used his powers to control the wave, and send them flying towards dry land. Unfortunately, David didn't know exactly where on dry land they would end up.

"So captain, where exactly did you send them?" Asked on of his crew.

"Don't-uh asssk so many questionsss. If you need me I'll be in my locker-uh."

With that, David Jones went below deck to get some well deserved rest. Meanwhile, the penguins and Yoki were left knocked out on a beach and remained like that for the rest of the day. For your convenience, we'll just skip to morning.

Some random beach, Japaland
11:45 AM, January 12th

"Ow, ow!" Yelled Tails as he started to gain consciousness. "My head feels like I just played a game of Anvil Counters."

He then got up and saw that Speeddasher was just starting to get up, and Yoki was still out cold.

"H-how long have we been asleep?" Asked Speeddasher.

"Well it's morning right now, and it was late in the afternoon when we got flung to this beach, so I'm guessing we were out cold all night."

Before the two could continue their conversation, they saw that Yoki had begun to move. They imediatley got ready to fight him, but were surprised when a young penguin emerged from under the kappa. He appeared to be an Otaku Penguin, and he was wearing a school uniform typical of Japalandese students: a dark-grey, buttoned-up dress shirt, and a pair of heavy duty jeans. (Odd, because these weren't really needed for penguins.)
The most mysterious thing about him, though, was the tattoo on his forehead. It appeared to be the Japanese word for death: .

"Oh pocki sticks," he said. "That's the third time this week my glasses have broken."

Tails and Speed simply starred at the otaku, and soon he noticed them.

"Oh, howdy strangers!" said the penguin. "You two must be with this... Wow it's a turtle-thing in spandex! This must be one of those monsters that Reaper fights."

"Reaper?" They both asked.

"Don't tell me you don't know about 'im! Reaper's the coolest guy in all of Japaland! Of all cultures! He fights giant monsters that try and attack the city, and he does it all by using just a scythe! Like a farmer, but more awesome! I've never actually seen him, but my girlfriend always says he's totally kawaii!"

"So you say he's the coolest, yet you've never actually seen him?" Asked Speeddasher.

"You have a girlfriend?" Asked Tails.

The otaku simply nodded and then bowed before the two penguins. He immediately followed up with a handshake, as was their custom..

"Yes, and yes. Anyways, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Kuni, the guy who that turtle-thing landed on."

"Well nice to meet you," said Tails who introduced him and Speed to the otaku, shaking his flipper, and told him about their current situation.

"Anyways, we'd better try and find Reaper so he can send this kappa back to the ocean!"

"Heh, no reason to waste our time. He's already knocked out. See he's right... WHERE THE HECK DID HE GO?!?!"

The three were quite surprised to see that Yoki had vanished, along with Willy.

"Oh crap this is bad," said Tails. "What are we gonna tell Kwiksilver?"

"Relax," said Kuni. "I'm sure Reaper will take care of that guy and save your friend.

"Oh there you are Kuni," said a voice.

They all turned around and saw a female anime penguin, who appeared to be around the same age as Kuni. She had light blue hair, and was wearing a school uniform.

"Hi Chiharu," he replied. "You two, this is my girlfriend Chiharu."

"What bally bet did he win to get a hottie like that, wot wot?" said a voice.

Tails and Speed knew exactly who it was, but Kuni didn't know about Mayor McFlapp so he just thought he might have been hearing things.

"Well it's nice to see that you've finally started making some friends Kuni," she replied, curtsying. "Anyways, it's nice to meet you two."

"Same here," said Tails. "By the way, did you see a seven foot green turtle-thing on your way here?"

Chiharu began to get really mad, but soon she started to calm down.

"You bet your sushi I did! That freak tried to use a fan to look under my skirt! I didn't even know you could do that with a skirt this long!" she huffed in anger, gesturing to her clothes. "When I shoved him away, he farted right in my face! I slapped that yellowbelly until his nose bled!!"

"Well that just gives us even more reason to find that idiot," said Speeddasher. "Who knows what else he's doing in that city. Could you take us to where you last saw him?"


Kuni walked up to his girlfriend.

"Please Chiharu, these guys need help getting their friend back. Plus, I really 'wanna see Reaper."

Chiharu simply face palmed.

"I thought it was only females and they're grandmas that obsessed over that guy? Fine I'll take you to where I last saw him. -but if he so much as breaths on my clothes, I'm outta there!"

"Okay then it's settled," said Tails. "Lead the way lady."

With that, the four set out to find Yoki, who they hoped hadn't tried to assault anyone else.

Downtown Jokio, Japaland
12:35 PM, January 12th

The four had been searching throughout Jokio for quite some time, and they hadn't found any sign of Yoki the Kappa. They kept asking penguins about him, but they all replied that they didn't know who they were looking for. Eventually, they were quite tired and stopped to rest.

"How hard is it to find a seven foot turtle anyways?" Asked Tails6000.

"Well I for one couldn't be happier," said Chiharu. "I hope that I never run into that creep again."

"Believe me I'm not to fond about seeing him again either," replied Speeddasher. "But we need to get Willy back."

"Hey what's that over there?" Asked Kuni.

The three looked at where Kuni was pointing, only to see a green humanoid figure attempting to flirt with several female penguins.

"That's him!" Yelled Tails. "That's Yoki!"

"Okay, you found him good for you," replied Chiharu. "Now if you'll excuse me I've got to ask Kuni something in private."

Kuni sighed.

"But what if Reaper shows up while we're gone?"

"I highly doubt he will. Now come on already!"

Kuni pouted and Chiharu took him to the back of a dark alley. Tails and Speed simply went to confront Yoki, and the kappa was quite shocked to see them.

"Y-you two again?!?! But how'd you find me?"

"Well it certainly wasn't easy," replied Tails. "We had to search all throughout Jokio. We went to a pocki store, ten farms, a gun show, two town hall meetings... we even went into a Weirdology Convention. It certainly was weird."

"Anyways, I suggest you hand over Willy," said Speeddasher as he pulled out his katana. "I'm assuming you're the only one who can change him back."

Yoki simply thought for a moment.

"Oh you mean that penguin I turned into a cucumber. Heh heh, ya I don't think I can do that."

"And why not?" Asked Tails.

"Well it's sort of complicated, okay actually it's kinda simple. You see I don't have any money on me, and I was getting pretty hungry."

Tails and Speeddasher looked at the kappa shockingly.

"YOU ATE HIM!" They both yelled.

"Well I guess that's one way of putting it. Another could be I absorbed him. Honestly though, you don't have to worry, your friend is completely intact."

"So you swallowed him whole?" Asked Tails.

"Yes, and now he's in a special part of my body. It's a special organ only kappas have. You see, whenever we absorb someone that we've turned into a cucumber, we can send them to this organ and absorb all their power. This weakling didn't have much in him, but it was enough to make me quite a bit stronger since our last encounter."

Tails and Speed were glad that Willy was still in one piece, but they were wondering if Yoki really had gotten stronger.

"Hey Speed," whispered Tails. "If what this guy says about his strength increasing is true, I think we might have to team up to take him down."

"Agreed, and I've got an idea of how to do it.


"That siren lady told me about how she first met this guy. If she was telling the truth, then the best way to defeat him would be to smash that water dome on his head. If we do break it, and then refill it, Yoki will be forced to do whatever we tell him, and then he'll have to change Willy back."

"Sounds like a job for the hadouken. Let's do it!"

"Are you two going to talk all day, or are we going to fight?" Asked the kappa. "I've got a possible date tonight, and I don't want to miss it."

Tails and Speed stopped whispering to each other, and got ready to fight.

"Let's do this!" Yelled Tails.

The battle had begun. Speeddasher had begun to swing his katana around, but he noticed that he was unable to even dent the kappa's skin.

"What the...

Speed was then elbowed in the face by Yoki, who then noticed he was about to be attacked by Tails.

"Give me back my friend Yoki!"

"Sorry, I was never that good with sharing."

Yoki then grabbed Tails by the head and flung him into a nearby fruit stand. The kappa simply laughed, and Tails found he had a durian stuck on his head. Speeddasher had recovered, and begun to fight Yoki with his katana again, but he didn't even lay a scratch on him.

"Tails!" He yelled. "Now would be a good time to use that hadouken!"

Tails had finally managed to get the fruit off of him, and he simply nodded and got ready to fire his attack.


Yoki tried to move, but because he was distracted, Speed managed to strangle the kappa enough to hold him still.


"Sure thing Speed," replied Tails. "HADOUKEN!"

With that, the attack was launched and a light surrounded the kappa. Tails had become quite worn out after the attack, and was glad to know it was finally over. Or was it?

"Phew," he said. "That was a...WHAT?!?!"

Tails was shocked to see that Yoki had broken free, and used Speeddasher as a meat shield. The ninja's entire front half was badly injured, and his skin looked a bit burned. Speeddasher shouted in pain.


"Woah ho ho! That was a bit to close for comfort. I'll give you guys credit though you did catch me off guard. But once again Yoki the Kappa comes out with skin as smooth as the bottom, of a newly birthed puffle."

Well that's slightly disturbing. Anyways, it wasn't looking good for the two penguins. Speeddasher was severely injured from the blast that he took, and seemed to have passed out.

"Well anyways, I guess that puts your friend out of the fight," said Yoki as he threw Speed out of the way. "So let's resume then shall we."

Tails didn't know if he could beat Yoki. The chances of him landing a hit on his dome were quite slim now that there was no one to keep Yoki still.

"This isn't looking to good," he thought. "We've strayed pretty far away from the main plot line of the story, and now we might get beaten by some muscle-bound turtle. I think using the hadouken at this point is out of the question. So that means I've gotta find another way to beat him."

"Yo, citizens of Jokio!" Yelled a voice.


Everyone looked up ontop of a building and saw a penguin standing up on the roof of a gun store.

"OMG!" Yelled one of the girls. "It's the most kawaii penguin in all of Japaland."

"Coolest dern kid in tha islands!" an older redneck added.

"You mean the world!" exclaimed another.

"IT'S REAPER!" They all shouted.

The penguin held out his scythe and the penguins cheered again. The farming endorsement had farmers adding to the chorus with hoops, hollers, and "yee haws".

"Yes, I am Reaper. Now simply calm down ladies- and growers of food -you'll have plenty of time to admire me after I've finished what I came here for. I'm searching for some guy named Yoki the Kappa. Anyone know where he might be."

All the penguins pointed to Yoki who was quite confused at the moment.

"And who exactly are you?" Asked the kappa.

Reaper jumped down, performing a front flip, and waddling up to Yoki. Tails could now see what the penguin looked like. The glasses, the school uniform, and a what seemed to be a scar in the shape of letters on his forehead... wait a minute: the letters were Japanese for death! It was Kuni! Or was it?

"I don't understand?" Tails thought. "He looks just like Kuni, but his voice is completely different. His hair is also spiked up. What's going on?"

"I'm surprised you don't know my name kappa," Reaper finally replied. "I mean all those babes just shouted it out. In case you're hard of hearing though I'll say it again. I'm Reaper, the coolest guy in Japaland. Oh and I'm here to beat the pocki out of you!"

Yoki was more than unimpressed.

"Never heard of you, and I don't think some nerd like you could even leave a bruise on such perfect skin. However if you wish to try I won't stop you. Heck, to show you how considerate I am, I'll even let you have the first punch. Go on. Hit me with your best..."

Reaper suddenly appeared behind Yoki, and had delivered a powerful blow to his back. The kappa didn't know how he did it, and was about to fall flat on his face. Before he could however, Reaper had already appeared in front of him and gave him a kick to the jaw.

"Come on kappa, don't go dying on me just yet. I got some girls to impress... well, actually, just one in particular."

Tails was shocked and how powerful Reaper was. Granted his speed was nothing compare to how fast he could go, but his strength was more than enough to make up for it. He was more powerful than him and Speed put together. The cheering continued.

"Go get him Kun...I mean Reaper!" Yelled Chiharu who had suddenly reappeared next to Tails.

"So it is Kuni isn't it," said Tails.

"Well, it is Kuni's body, but the one fighting isn't Kuni. I'll tell you about it later."

Tails nodded and continued to watch the fight. Reaper continued to toy with Yoki by simply delivering punches before the kappa even had a chance to think.

"Oh the fist bone punches at the spine bone, it then moves down to the leg bone, and moves up all the way to the head bone!"

Reaper then delivered a punch that seemed to have broken Yoki's nose. The kappa screamed as he covered his face and Reaper simply laughed.

"Come on, are you giving up all ready? I didn't even get a chance to use my scythe, and other random anime swag."

"Y-you monster!" Yelled Yoki. "You stained the most beautiful face in the world with blood! How dare you give me a nose bleed!"

Everyone laughed and Yoki simply growled.

"Dude the way you were screaming I thought I shattered your skull or something. I mean you could just use that mop on your head to wipe in off."

"What did you say?!?!" Asked Yoki angrily. "This is not a mop! It is a gorgeous head of hair, that any sensible male would die to have."

Reaper simply nodded.

"I suppose your right Yoki. After all, I've always wanted a giant bald spot covered by a water dome."


The kappa was sent flying into the air from the result of Reaper creating a large gust of wind. Reaper then jumped into the air and punched Yoki in the back. Yoki was about to crash into the ground, when Reaper appeared on the ground and gave him a punch in the stomach before he could land.

"Th-this is impossible," said Yoki. "I can't be beaten by this nerd."

"Believe it!" Yelled Reaper.

Yoki was then let down and Reaper jumped incredibly high into the air, only to slam extremely hard down onto the kappa.

"And that's why Reaper is number one!" Reaper exclaimed as the various girls cheered for him.

Tails was still shocked and the events that had just taken place. This Reaper guy had just taken out someone him and Speed together couldn't even scratch.

"Oh Reaper that was amazing!" Yelled Chiharu.

"Yes it was," said Reaper. "I don't know why I had to be called in though, that guy wasn't tough in the slightest."

The girls started to cheer for Reaper, as they usually do for him after he wins a battle. No one ever cheers for me. Being the narrator sucks sometimes.

"Reaper! Reaper! Reaper! Reaper Rea...

"CUCUMBER BEAM!" Yelled a voice.

Reaper was shocked to see that Yoki had gotten up and had blasted nearly half of the crowd with his beam. All the remaining penguins started to run away as Yoki quickly devoured all the cucumbers that used to be penguins.

"How to beat this Reaper penguin?" Yoki asked himself. "Answer, NEED MORE POWER!"

"Filthy coward!" Yelled Chiharu.

Yoki turned around to see Chiharu and then smiled.

"Well, well, what's my favorite hottie doing here," said the kappa. "I can tell you'd give me a good deal of power. CUCUMBER...

"Oh no you don't!" Yelled Tails who rushed over to stop him.


The beam was fired, and it was heading straight towards Chiharu. Before it could hit her though, Reaper got in the way and the ray hit him.

"REAPER!" Yelled Chiharu.

"Ugh, Chiharu," said Reaper. "If I ever make it out of this, tell Kuni that I think he's a below average guy."

And without another word, Reaper was turned into a cucumber, only this one had a bright aura around it. Tails was shocked and he tried to catch his breath after almost being hit by the beam.

"That was a close one," said Tails. "WAIT! I've gotta get that cucumber before Yoki does. If he absorbs it, there's no telling how powerful he'll get!"

Tails ran as fast as he could, but Yoki managed to get there first and kicked Tails in the head.

"You were quite an annoying penguin," said Yoki. "Let's see if you can atleast make a good snack."

With that Yoki swallowed the Reaper Cucumber and his body began to glow. It would appear as Yoki was about to undergo another transformation, and there was nothing Tails could do to stop it.

"Chiharu!" Yelled Tails.

"Yes?" She Asked.

"I need you to get Speed and yourself out of here while Yoki's busy transforming! We don't need him getting any more powerful than he already is!"

"But what about you?"

"Well that should be pretty obvious. I'm gonna stop him and get all those penguins he's absorbed back to normal."

"You're insane! You and Speed together couldn't even beat him when it was just your friend absorbed! Now he's got nearly a fourth of Jokio's population and Reaper absorbed! If you think you can beat him you're out of your mind!"

"Well I have to try. Just get yourself and Speed out of here. NOW!"

Chiharu simply nodded and dragged Speed far away from the fight. Tails looked back at Yoki and saw that the kappa had indeed started to change slightly. He appeared much thicker in appearance, he became much more muscular to the point were it looked like he shouldn't even be able to move, and his pupils became non existent. OH MY GOD! This transformation is worse than I could've ever imagined! He's become a Rob Liefeld Drawing! Quick everyone, run away before you catch Youngblood's disease!

"Ha ha ha!" Laughed Yoki in his now deeper voice. "It would appear the Reaper guy I absorbed gave me an incredible boost in power! I've gone from a pathetic, sentient turtle, to an unstoppable force. Now everyone will tremble before Yoki the Kappa!"

"No if I have anything to say about it!" Exclaimed Tails.

"Heh, now that's a laugh. Can you not see how powerful I've become penguin? If you try and fight me, I'll crush you like a grape!"

Tails was a bit nervous, but he stood his ground.

"I hate to say it, but he's right," Tails thought. "I'm guessing he's atleast ten times stronger than Cyber Tails at this point. Possibly even more. But he still has that dome of his! And if I can simply shatter it, I'll win the fight."

Tails pulled out his player card and selected his buster canon.

"It's been awhile since I've used this thing," he continued thinking. "With this guy's power I can't afford to waste a single bit of my energy, so the hadouken is out of the question. So I guess I'm gonna be using you for this fight."

"Are we gonna fight or what?" Asked Yoki. "Cause if not then stop wasting my time."

"Oh we're gonna fight," replied Tails. "And I'll tell you this Yoki. I'm gonna take you down and rescue all those penguins you've absorbed."

Tails has decided to go with his buster canon with this fight, but with the incredible strength that his foe now possesses, the odds aren't in his favor. This thrilling story arc comes to a conclusion, next chapter. Don't miss it.

Chapter VIII: Buffed up Yoki vs. Tails. A valuable piece of information?[edit]

Mayor's Office, Ternville
1:33 PM, January 12th


Just then, there was a knock at the door.


"Oh, okay," said a female voice. "I guess I could wait awhile for my massage."

Mayor McFlapp's eyes grew wide, and he began to cheer with joy. You see, Mayor McFlapp has found a new way to get girls to come to him. Unknown to the other masters, he's told various naive female terns that he owns a massage center. I can sense the feminist rage.

"Oh, no no it's no bally problem!" The Mayor called out. "Please come in!"

The door opened and a female tern walked inside. She was quite beautiful, and she looked like she wasn't very bright. Mayor McFlapp knew this would be easy.

"Are we going to start the massage now?" She Asked.

"Well normally we bally would, but since you're are first bally customer you'll get the special flippin treatment. A bath free of any bally charge, wot wot!"

"Oh, that's incredible! Well, I guess I'll get started then."

"Yes, yes go to the bally bathroom and have the privacy you flippin need and deserve!"

With that, the female tern left towards the mayor's bathroom, while Mayor McFlapp was giggling with excitement.

"Privacy my bally top hat," he whispered. "Time to turn on the flippin security camera. Wouldn't want her to steal my bally possessions now would we. Heh heh heh, wot wot!"

Mayor McFlapp ran towards his TV, and turned on the security cameras in the bathroom. He was more excited than he ever had been in his life. He watched as the female tern preened her feathers, and splashed around in the bird bath. Let's just assume Mayor McFlapp really likes baths.

"OH BALLY YA!" Yelled Mayor McFlapp. "More flippin real than Animal Planet, wot wot!"

Just then, a bunch of water splashed onto the security camera, and it exploded. Oh no, now she might steal his stuff.

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, what a bally disappointment! I work all flippin day as master of the universe, and I deserve to have some bally fun!"

"Okay, I'm done my bath!" Yelled the tern. I'm heading to the massage room!"

Mayor McFlapp smiled, as he quickly ran towards the room. Words could not describe how excited he was, and if they could it'd probably be best not to show it anyways. Eventually he came to the door that said "Spa" on it, and Mayor McFlapp quickly rushed inside, with his eyes closed to hold his tears of joy. Gee, this couldn't possibly lead to a misunderstanding.

"Oh my bally sweetie, let me give you the massage of your flippin life! Oh you bally like it don't you! Yes you do! Yes you bally do, heh heh he, wot wot!"

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!?!" Yelled a voice.

Mayor McFlapp opened his eyes, and saw that the one he was massaging was none other than Director Benny.

"Wh-what bally happened?" Asked the mayor. "I was supposed to be flippin'...


Mayor McFlapp quickly ran out, and went to the nearest window to barf. Little did he know, that DJ X was hiding in the closet laughing.

"I know I shouldn't be pranking ol' McFlapp so much," he said. "But the dude just asks for it sometimes."

"Ugh, I'd better bally close down this spa I flippin opened," Mayor McFlapp said. "No matter how many bally babes I get here, it's not worth it when you have to put up with pranks like this Guess I should go back to bally watching the fight between Tails and that flippin kappa, wot wot."

Thus a scene of comedy ends. We can only hope this doesn't spawn Deviant Art fan fiction.

Downtown Jokio, Japaland
1:35 PM, January 12th

"Alright Yoki!" Tails yelled. "Let's do this!"

And thus the fight began. Tails fired some blasts with his buster canon, but they didn't do any harm to Yoki whatsoever. The two got into a sparring match, and while Tails was noticeably faster, his punches did little to Yoki. Eventually, Tails was sent flying into a food cart by a well executed punch to the face and was covered in wasabi.

"Is that the best you've got penguin?!?! That pathetic canon of yours can't do anything to me! Your best bet would be to run away while you still can!"

"Heh, I'm just getting warmed up. TAKE THIS!"

Yoki hadn't noticed that while he was talking, Tails had charged up a powerful blast which hit Yoki right in the stomach. The kappa screamed in pain, but all it actually did was slightly burn his skin. This however was a big deal to him.


Yoki charged straight towards Tails, but he missed due to Tails speed. Tails let out a sigh of relief, only to see Yoki charging back at him. He tried to move out of the way, but the kappa delivered a punch right at his stomach, which sent him flying into the air.

"Crap," Tails thought. "That actually really hurt. I can't afford to let my guard down like that again."

Tails crashed into a clock tower and landed on one of the gears inside. He'd gotten some cuts from the glass, but he was overall in okay condition. Yoki had climbed up the clock tower aswell, and was ready to continue the fight.

"Well I certainly wasn't expecting my punch to send you that far. It'll take awhile to get used to this new power."

"Enjoy it while you can Yoki," replied Tails. "Those penguins aren't your's to absorb."

"You know something penguin, your voice is starting to get annoying. I think I'd better take care of that problem imediatley!"

Yoki grabbed one of the clock hands and began to swing it around. Tails jumped from gear to gear trying to avoid it, and managed to do it quite well.

"THAT'S IT!" Tails thought to himself. "He may have gotten more powerful, but with new size he can't move very fast. If I can just keep out of his sight long enough, I can hit that dome of his head with a blast from my canon."

Tails continued to dodge Yoki's attacks, and tried to find a good chance to run faster, but it was hard in such a confined area. Eventually though he got an idea.

"Hey Yoki!" Yelled Tails. "Bet you can't hit me when I'm going at top speed!"

"You dare question what I can and can't do! I, Yoki the Kappa, can do anything I set my mind to!"

As you could tell, Yoki was quite angered at this and charged straight towards Tails, meaning to skewer him with the clock hand. Before he could hit him though , Tails and jumped out of the way and began to run up the inside of the clock. Eventually he'd made it up to the top, and Yoki was close behind, having used the gears to climb up.

"Yes," Tails thought. "He took the bait!"

"Think you can run away from me huh?!?! Well you're sorely mistaken!"

"Maybe I can't escape from you Yoki, but I'm far from running out of battle strategies?"

"Huh, what are you blabbering about?!?!"

Tails didn't want to waste anymore time, so he decided to put his plan into action. He quickly jumped over to the clocks face and picked up a large piece of glass that had been shattered from their entry. All he had to do now was wait for Yoki to get up.

"Is that really your best weapon choice? Honestly what do you think you can do with that thing?"

Tails didn't respond and simply stuck his tongue out at the kappa.


"TAKE THIS!" Tails yelled.

Before Yoki could reach Tails, the penguin had held out the piece of glass, and it reflected the sun's light right at his face. It was incredibly bright, and the kappa was nearly blinded by it.


"Now's my chance!"

Tails quickly ran behind Yoki and began to charge up his canon. Yoki was still blinded from the light and couldn't tell where Tails had gone. The question was, could Tails charge up a powerful enough blast before Yoki regained his eyesight.


This news upset Tails.

"Crap, he's already starting to regain his eyesight," he thought. "I hate to have to do this, but it looks like my best bet is to get far away so he won't see me and charge up my blast from there. Not sure if I can hit him from that far a distance, but if I stay here my cover is blown and I doubt I'll get this lucky twice."

With no other choice, Tails quickly ran towards a building and continued to charge up his blast. He knew that if it was to weak he'd have wasted his one shot at saving the penguin's Yoki had absorbed, so he had to get it right.

"Okay, this should be far enough. To be honest, it'd actually be nice if Yoki were to notice me once I've fully charged this thing. The closer he is, the bigger chance I have of hitting his dome. Right now I'd say I'm around 21% fully charged. I just need four minutes at the most!"

Meanwhile, back at the clock tower, Yoki had began to see fine again.


Yoki looked around, but he could find Tails anywhere. He'd guessed that he was no longer in the clock tower, so he tried to spot him from the top of the tower. Tails meanwhile had made a bit of progress with his buster canon. It was now around 42% fully charged, and it was still rising.

"43, 47, 52% full," he thought. "Over half way there, but I don't think I've got much time left. Yoki's bound to find me any minute now, and my feet feel like jello from the beating I've took, so running away isn't an option. Come on canon, charge up."

Eventually, Yoki was tired of searching. He was about to give up, when he saw a shining light in the distance. As he looked closer, he saw it was Tails6000, and he looked like he was charging up an attack. The kappa smirked, and began to jump from rooftop to rooftop.

"I've found you penguin! This game ends now!"

"75%, 78%, come on only twenty-two more percents to go. Hurry up canon he's spotted us!"

Yoki was getting closer every passing second, and Tails's buster canon continued to charge up it's blast. After what seemed like forever, but was really only a minute and a half, Yoki was only a few yards away, and Tail's buster canon still wasn't fully charged.

"92%, come on almost there!"

"It's no use penguin!" Yelled Yoki. "You lost, and I won! Don't be to hard on yourself though! No one can ever beat Yoki the Kappa!"

It was time to end the battle. Yoki on the building next to Tails, and the buster canon was nearly charged up all the way. It was now or never, and at this point, anything could happen.

"97%, 98%...

"IT'S TIME I FINISH WHAT STARTED ON THAT SHIP!" Yoki yelled as he leaped towards Tails6000. "IT'S TIME YOU DIE!"


And in a split second, the blast was fired and it headed straight towards Yoki.

"No! No! I can't afford to get another, SPLIT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

Before he could finish though, the blast completely engulfed Yoki's head, and the faint sound of something shattering could be heard. Tails himself was sent flying backwards from the power of this blast, and he landed on the back of a billboard, which the came falling down from the impact.

"I-I did it," Tails thought as he passed out from the impact.

He couldn't see it, but Tails knew that he won the battle. It was finally over.

Mayor's Office, Ternville
1:56 PM, January 12th

"I-I can't bally believe it! TAILS FLIPPIN DID IT!"

All the master's cheered (even Director Benny), as they celebrated with Cream Soda.

"That fight was incredible!" Exclaimed Billybob. "Please tell me you recorded it Mayor?!?!"

"How could I not bally record this fight. It's one of the most flippin incredible feats I've ever witnessed in my life. We'll have to re-watch it once this whole ordeal is over."

"EEK!" Screeched Illustrator Keith. "Re-watching violence?!?! OOOOOOOOOOH!"

Keith passed out at the very thought of it, and the masters attempted to wake him up. This may take a few hours. Or days, depending on how much stress he's been through today. Remember wimps, this could be you one day.

Chiharu's House, Jokio, Japaland
3:55 PM, January 13th

Tails awoke to find himself in a bed, with a bandage on his head. Starring at him was none other than Willy the penguin.

"HEY GUYS, HE'S WAKING UP!" Shouted Willy.

"W-Willy you're okay!" Exclaimed Tails as he leaped out of bed.

"Of coarse I'm okay! After Chiharu refilled Yoki's water dome, it was easy to get everybody who'd been turned into cucumbers back to normal. We weren't all doomed to a fate of possibly ending up on some fat lady's face!"

"I can see you've finally woken up," said a voice. "Tell me, do you always snore that loud?"

Tails looked behind him, to see Speeddasher in perfect condition.

"SPEED!" He yelled. "Nice to see you're okay."

"Well had you not had Chiharu get me out of the battlefield, I might not be. Hate to say it, but I owe you one.

"Eh, consider it thanks for that emo attack you performed back at the Turtle Atoll."

Speed looked quite mad at Tails for saying "emo attack", but everyone simply laughed.

"Who wants sushi!" Yelled a voice that Tails knew he'd heard before.

Tails was shocked when he saw a tall, green figure in a butler's outfit. It was Yoki!

"STAND BACK KAPPA!" He yelled. "I took you down once and I'll do it again."

Yoki was terrified and ran away into the next room. Tails was about to chase after him, when Willy grabbed onto his shoulder.

"Tails no!" Yelled Willy. "It's okay, he's on our side now!"

This confused Tails.


"It's quite simple," replied Speeddasher. "Yoki's aggressive behavior was due to him following that siren's orders for all those years. Now that he has a new master though, he's gotten a more calm attitude. Thankfully he got a wardrobe change aswell."

"You can say that again," said two voices.

Chiharu, and Kuni (who was still under Reaper's control) had just entered the room.

"So Kuni and Reaper are one in the same I guess?" Asked Speeddasher.

"Well I guess that's one way of putting it," replied Reaper. "The difference is I'm cool, and he's lame."

"If you wouldn't mind Chiharu," asked Tails. "I'd like to know exactly how Kuni and Reaper share the same body?"

"Oh of coarse," she replied. "You see, Reaper is Kuni's alter-ego or something like that. Quite a lot of penguins have them, but they just don't know how to activate them. The way to activate Kuni's alter-ego is to feed him any sort of salty food. A potato chip usually works fine. He then remains that way until the food is out of his digestive system. And that's basically it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if Yoki is quite alright after the scare you gave him Tails. Surprisingly he's actually quite nice when he's not working for sirens."

Willy was confused at trying to figure out how something like that worked, but Tails was quite fascinated by it.

"Hold on!" Willy said. "I've noticed from the pictures that Chiharu showed me that Reaper and Kuni pretty much look the same. So why hasn't anyone guessed put two and two together and figured out who Reaper really is?"

"It's real simple," replied Reaper. "Kuni is such a nerd no one even bothers to pay attention to him. It's only when the cape is put on that anyone even knows that guy exists, and even then it's only because of my voice. Apparently I'm kawaii or some sort of crap like that."

"It's incredible how strong you are Reaper," said Tails. "Had Yoki not pulled that cheap move, you would've won that fight flippers down. It must feel good to save the city daily."

Reaper laughed.

"Are you kidding me? I could care less what happens to this trash heap. It's pop culture is annoying, and it's agriculture ain't much better. The good part is it's weapons, and the anime swag ain't to shabby either. But other than that, everything else can go to the deletion log. Infact, if there wasn't one thing holding me back, I would've destroyed this place years ago."

Tails, Speeddasher, and Willy were shocked at this. And rightfully so. Who knew the hero of Jokio was such a dang scumbag. I've been hanging around these red necks to long.

"Well then what's holding you back from destroying this place if you hate it so much?" Asked Speeddasher.

"Because the one tolerable penguin who lives here, for some reason loves this place. And that penguin is that Kuni guy's babe."

"You mean Chiharu?" Asked Willy.

"Ya that's the one. She loves this city, and if I destroyed it she'd be upset. That's why I protect this place from all those anime monster rejects that constantly attack it."

"Well he may want to nuke an entire city, but atleast he cares about someone enough not to do it," Tails thought. "Then again if she ever dies I'm sure he'll blow it up afterwards. Best to worry about one problem at a time though I suppose."

Reaper then simply went to sleep, and Yoki walked back into the room and tapped Tails on the shoulder.

"What is it?" Asked Tails.

"Well firstly um, I'd like to say sorry for trying to destroy you, and I'd also like to ask you a question. Is it true that there's someone who's in possession of The Ray of Youth?"

"Ya, it's Doctor Aye-Que. Do you know anything about it?"

Yoki nodded.

"Know about it, my people made that thing."

Everyone looked shocked.

"You're saying that the kappas made The Ray of Youth?" Asked Willy.

"Yes, my people made a lot of the ancient master's tools," replied Yoki. "You see, we kappas used to work for the Bureaucracy as inventors before the master's started using just one tool to do their job, aka the Narrator's Organ. So an idea came to my head. It's possible that since the kappas invented The Ray of Youth, they might know a way to combat someone who has it."

"You know, that actually isn't a bad idea," said Tails. "So where do the kappas live exactly?"

"The thing is, I'm not sure if any other kappas besides me still exist. If there are any though, they'll be in Sake Village."

"And where's that?" Asked Speeddasher.

"It's a small peaceful town in the Freezeland mountains. In the mountains is a giant steaming lake, and in the middle is an island where Sake Village is located."

Willy was quite skeptical about it though.

"Even if we do find this place, how do we know the natives aren't gonna try and turn us into cucumbers like you did to me?"

"Oh there's really nothing to worry about. Kappas are a quite peaceful race. Don't expect them to be as handsome as me though."

"Well I can see one thing about Yoki hasn't changed," though Tails.

"Well I think it's settled then," said Speed. "Our next stop is Sake Village. Though we'll have to find out where it is first."

"Well you're in luck then," replied Yoki. "I have a map that."

The kappa pulled out a map and showed them the location of Sake Village. I don't even want to know where he keeps that thing. A thought popped into Willy's head though, and he got quite nervous.

"Hey, can I see the map for a minute?" He asked.

Yoki nodded and handed it over to Willy. After studying it for awhile, he realized what path they had to take to get there.


"What is it?" Asked Tails. "What's so bad about the path?"

"Ya, seriously Willy it's to early in this story for you to start acting like a complete coward," said Speeddasher.

Willy was shaking nervously and showed the map to Tails, and Speed.

"This map is centuries of years old, so it may not have been such a bad path back then. However, things change over centuries, and this is a prime example. This path is clearly Eel Gorge, as it's famous for being one of the few safe ways to pass through the Freezeland mountains. Atleast it used to be until you know what was built there. I'm sure I don't have to explain to you both what it is."

Tails didn't know what Willy was talking about, but Speed now knew why Willy was terrified.

"You don't mean...

"Yes that's exactly what I mean Speeddasher. The only way to get to Sake Village, is to get past Fort Aye-Que.

Sorry no epic gopher this time. But I will add a moment of silence starting... Now!

  • One Moment of silence later*

...Chicka chicka choo whop! Never gonna stop! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that... OH, hello again! I guess the moment of silence has ended. Anyways, OMG Fort Aye-Que!

"What's Fort Aye-Que?" Asked Tails6000.

"WHAT'S FORT AYE-QUE?!?!" Yelled Speeddasher and Willy.

"Ya, what is it?"

"How do you not know this stuff?!?!" Asked Speeddasher. "The guy is your freakin nemesis!"

"Well you know unlike a lot of heroes, I've got a life outside of putting a stop to old puff man's "take over the world plots". So is anyone gonna tell me what's so scary about this fort place?"

Willy cleared his throat.

"Well in short, it's one of Aye-Que's many bases across Antarctica," replied Willy. "The doc does have a lot of bases, but this one in particular is his most well known. Except for Ayetropolis of coarse."

"So the place gets a lot of publicity, so what?"

"Well, the reason it's so well known is because of the incredibly fierce robots who reside there. I don't know what they look like, but I heard there was once a guy who claimed to be the bravest warrior in the world. He tried to storm the fort so that the Eel Gorge pathway would be clear once again. When he returned...well let's just say it wasn't pretty."

"Heh, wasn't pretty?" Exclaimed Speeddasher. "According to eyewitnesses, the guy's eardrums were completely shattered, and he had cuts all over his body, each in a circular shape as if it had been done with a cookie cutter. The guy died the very next day."

Tails was quite shocked at this, but still wasn't very worried.

"And how do you know this guy wasn't just someone who'd just figured out what really goes into Eastshield Fried Fish and decided it was best just to end it all?"

More coming soon!


Coming Soon


  • Tails turning into a kid is a slight parody of Dragon Ball GT.
  • This isn't the first time an item similar to the Fountain of Youth has been referenced.
    • Chi Con's Z-Virus has strong anti-aging effects, and can be used to regress individuals.
    • Carter, the ancestor of G, claims to possess the Fountain itself, and like the Z-Virus and Tails' incident, it too is allegedly capable of regressing age.

See also[edit]