Takota Inn

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Takota Inn
Key details
Type Hotel
Level Fifty five pebbles an hour. You KNOW you're at a bad hotel when you're charged BY THE HOUR!
Location On the Itinerod Circuit
Inhabitants Other than unfortunate conductors and staff- ...uhh... do you really want to know?

The Takota Inn is a run-down hole-in-the-wall of a motel found on the Itinerod Circuit. It's filthy and unkept, the staff are creepy, and it's one of the few genuine rest stops for conductors to sleep, as opposed to their trains and a kind village guest at a village junction.


This shifty inn was founded on the Itinerod Circuit. The founder, Seed14 (most call him "Manager Seedy") built it for weary conductors pulling an all-nighter on the mail route. His number one goal is profit, he's not much of a customer service fan, and he rarely cleans the rooms (but will change the sheets if asked).

Sadly, this hotel is the only rest stop that takes on everyone for many, MANY miles to come, and as an incentive, the motel is built on an oil field, which also gives it the best quality and cheapest petroleum for the trains... so, many conductors bite the bullet and stay a while.


The first thing one will see when entering the Takota Inn is the front doors. These thin, forest-green wood doors sit upon rusty hinges, looking as if they would fall off at any moment. Entering the hotel, a bare lightbulb can be seen suspended in the middle of the room, casting a dim and eerie glow upon the brown walls and dark green carpet. The faded and cracked receptionist desk, complete with old-school paper registry and rusty bell, faces the right, and a large bulletin board of keys stands behind it... that's right, no electric cards like a normal inn, oh no, just old-school room keys!

Ringing the bell summons Seed14, who speaks in his morbid, deep voice, one which sends shivers down your spine. The penguin always escorts you to your room, like a hearse escorting a loved one (he even walks slowly!). All down the corridors one would walk, with more bare bulbs illuminating the walls and floors. Faded paintings line the walls, as do end tables, bent as if one sat on it, with tarnished, damaged candlesticks, of which only a few have CANDLES in them.

Your room isn't much better. The rooms have an analog TV set, which only picks up three channels, one or two unmade and often soiled beds with dirty sheets, and a lamp without a lampshade. The complementary paper seems to be older than 2000, as the headline reads "NEW NATION OF JUDGES INSTATED, KING CAST ON BOAT".

There is a card table serving as a desk next to a phone jack for dial-up (who uses that anymore?!), and a rotary telephone for room service, not that anyone wants to call room service. Also, a heavy sofa is in every room, facing the cracked window for a view of the oil pumps and tanks. Many guests choose to move that in front of the door.

Depending on the room, one may come across (*gulp*) tape outlining where a victim was knocked out and covered in Ditto! The Takota Inn is a rumored UPM protection racket stop.
In theory, according to travellers, opening this door would create a one-way entrance into the Inn, and the portal would then vanish. It also works vice-versa.

If one feels daring, they can lift up the various portraits in the building and see if it's covering any, say, icicles, Card-Jitsu attacks, or Banana Blaster goop.

To further worsen the hotel, Room 697 is, according to insiders, a portal to the Ghost Dimension. Sometimes, opening the door will reveal a pink and yellow striped portal in the threshold, and unknowing patrons would step in, and find themselves in a whole new world. Seed never assigns this room for lawsuit avoidance.

Most guests agree:
"There couldn't be a worse hotel anywhere in Antarctica."


The manager, Seed14, runs the inn alone. There are no other employees, no other staff, nothing but Seed14 and the guests... so it seems.


The Takota Inn is rumored to be a den of villains. Near the back of the hallways, in the very last rooms, all of the lights are out, all the bulbs broken. The pictures are shattered and often without images (just a frame), though there isn't any glass on the floor (Seed14 does have a basic belief in lawsuit avoi-, err, safety).

In these rooms, it is said, are UPM piccitos plotting a heist, bags and bags of currency, or a possible ACLUM chapter! Other rumors say that Darktonian minions like Abyss Knights or X-Creatures stay here. None of these rumors are confirmed... who wants to be the first to confirm them?

A few good things...[edit]

Despite all of this, there really ARE some good things in this hotel.

  • It is completely silent at night. There is never a peep in the hotel. Only the wind blowing across the plateau and the occasional indistiguishable whisper, perhaps the sound of a penguin waddling down the halls. If one can settle down and unnerve themselves enough, they'll find this creepy hotel peaceful.
  • The hotel provides a complementary breakfast of thawed, store-bought waffles and maple syrup, or cereal with fresh milk.
  • There is an AC 1000 in every room, and when turned on, it provides a nice breeze and soothing white noise. It's very soothing.
  • Takota Inn is fully heated, complete with hot and cold water, thermostats, etc. Again, Seed14 likes to avoid lawsu-, provide the basic needs of a customer.
  • Staying at Takota Inn increases credit card hotel reward points at five times the rate of any other hotel in Antarctica, and not by the night, but by the hour. If a participating cardholder was to stay two nights at Takota Inn, they'd be able to get three days of free Snitz-Farlton or a week at Four Puffles!




  • Seed14 has been sued nine times. He always wins...
  • Professor Shroomsky once stayed here as part of his eternal travelling, he hated it.
  • Kwiksilver also stayed here after winning a trip, and he also hated it.

See also[edit]

Other really bad hotels[edit]