Talk:Director Benny

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He deserves a better theme than Emperor Bulblax (however you spell it)..... Yours Truly, Explorer 767   (Caffeinated tachyons?! What has this world come to?) View this template 21:34, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

How's this for a Nova theme? Yours Truly, Explorer 767   (Dream of an Icy Sea... with laser jellyfish on the side.) View this template 18:51, June 25, 2010 (UTC)


Roleplay.jpg This is a Role-Play talk page! You may pose as one of your characters and "talk" to Director Benny!

Hello, you insanely terrible spellers. Feel free to talk to me here, but please use proper spelling and grammar. My job is worse enough with that doddering, useless featherbag who calls himself a Mayor.

...and no, I am not related to Mabel!!! --Director Benny


You should add Fudd to your list of enemies. He loves to play pranks on you and once he stole your laptop.

CSA! FREEZE![edit]

Hello Director I am head of the Central Security Agency. We need a sample of your hair to make sure you are on of the most awesome ppl here.


Rings a Bell![edit]

Benny Hill's yur name, correct? It seems ta ring a bell. Hmm..I cannie seem tae put my finger on it...

-- King Triskelle

Well at least someone talked about the shake dimension.


Hey...I know him! He's from the Benny Hill show, eh? I knew this...and at least SOMEONE ELSE knows this too! --Mister Unknown

So whats up[edit]

I feel bored around here nothing new and stuff so wanna talk over coffee?



ZOMG! H3110. 1M [email protected] STR00DEL! LOLZ! Y06Z WAN1 T0 TA1KZ? --Captain Str00del

Thanks Dude![edit]

Yo, I just wanted to thank you for granting my gnarly benefit to the arts. It pleases me that you appreciate fine culture.

The again, how couldn't you? Anyone who's related to M-, wait, sorry bro... keep that on the down-low, I do recall.

Anyway, you have great taste. Keep up the good work, dude!

Your cou friend,


Excuse Mister Benny, but you have been rollbacking too many things in the Happyface State. We have sent out an arrest warrant. Good-bye!

Happyface Tee Smiley the 500th (TALK 2 ME!!!)

Wanna have coffee?[edit]

I just felt bored here on the island. So wanna talk a bit over coffee?



Director Benny I bet you haven't directed a movie! I bet you can't even say "CUT!" WITHOUT CUTTING THE CHEESE. Anyway, I am good friends with Billybob. I actually put him into power. We had coffee many times, discussing what is right for the USA. In fact, he gave me permission to capture Archet! And how could you bribe him? YOU DON'T EVEN GET A SALARY! I'VE ASKED MAYOR MCFLAPP!

Happyface Tee Smiley the 500th (TALK 2 ME!!!)

PSA Matters[edit]

As a new rule, all people living in the USA must give the CSA a sample of their hair, or feathures. Please send it in right away.



Good morning, Benny von Injo-whoops, sorry. de Blah.

I would like to say one thing:

Kwiksilva controls you with his magical PDA, fool!

...although he doesn't know it.--Sprocket


Sorry Benny, the PDA is hard wired to the organ's narration features. Disconnect it, the organ and fourth wall crash. I rewired it, and anyone who disconnects it, gets an infinitely long yelling at by Mabel, glued to a chair.That's what Kwiksilver told me! --Sprocket


I am 12yz12ab. Want to buy a transformer 3000? Its one of my inventions. It can transform you into anyone but after 10 minutes you turn back to original form. Its very awesome. more information: Transformer 3000 creator (me): 12yz12ab

Hi Sweetie![edit]

How's your job? Why don't you call more? Are you eating right? You look so thin! I made you some lunch.

Anyways, keep up the good work. Your father an I are proud of you!


Mommy ♥

Hello Sloppy![edit]

Hello sloppy director Benny! Ya sure are kinda krazy, and yes, my misspelling is on purpose! I was wondering if you'd like a cream pie in your face, or maybe I should take your laptop for a while! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! From your "Friend", Fudd! P.S. Here is something ofr you to correct: HFDEFHDEFHSEKLFRHSDUGHSKLHEUFGDFKL:SEUISGHDL:FUSEGHYGSELFGSDYFGSEUIFGSU!

Ok,Fudd. I know that you deleted my comment BUT THIS TIME...well...Just dont throw a cream pie in my face. IF YOU DO I WILL GET Yzabtech TO THROW YOU INTO THAT RIVER! *points to the river over there*--12yz12ab Buy An Invention (for 100000 coins)

Theres a river in the BoF? -Zenny

ITS A PORTAL ITS A PORTAL ITS A PORTAL!--12yz12ab Buy An Invention (for 100000 coins)

Allright, I will get my famous staff of goofyness and make you laugh your head off and I will make you wet your pants by laughing so hard! From, Fudd


*throws fudd into river*-Yzabtech

*Fudd comes out and makes Yzabtech laugh so hard that he wets his pants and PWNs himself then runs away in embarrassment*-Fudd

My New Storybook...ALL ABOUT THE BUREAU.[edit]

Oh yes. The title says it all. You don't control me or what happens to me. It is a VERY good thing that I sealed MAI off from the area controlled by the Bureau. I think...

And don't insult Mayor McFlapp at all costs! Or else...

Alex001 OR Alex12345a (inboxeditsbloghurtandhealimagecontest)

P.S. Send my love to Mabel, Mr. Von Injoface. Ha!


Hehe Benny, we all know I didn't even do that. That lousy Tern did it. I'l help you with him if you help me. Also, Tell Mabel I say hi!



I can make your whole series of bribes fall apart. Even TSP. I have friends in an even higher power than you. They control us all. Not the BoF, but the real writers of the CPFW. It is a real life human wiki. Humans write on it, and control it. They even control you.

Be Afraid.

I know someone who has the power to delete you in a flash.

Be scared.

Be very scared.

--Dan Beronews


Yes, it is true. I can destroy you. I can destroy you and all of your family members. You are just cogs in a VERY complicated machine.




Admins are all the same rank on that site. We all have the same power. I have many a friend that can help make you just as foolish as Fudd Lapooh. Don't harm Dan, help him. He is more powerful than you ever know.

If you don't erase the records, I will, and can.

--Anniemoos98, The User

O RLY?[edit]

Dear Benny Hill von Injoface,

I would like to question whether your agents could actually do the job. Yes, you would capture me, silence me, and probably torture me. But there's something else I want you to know-I have power. And I'm not telling you what it is, nor could you actually get it. You see, my enemy, you and your bally tern friend have no control over me once I escape this place. Here's a hint at where I'm going-to another universe where there is no masters. Yes. No Masters. I believe you are unable to do without THAT, my friend?

You wrote the world in a very perplexed manner. You may not find me existing before you start your plan. I would like to laugh at your petty knowledge. Bwa ha. Bwahaha. Bwahahahaha!

Yours unfaithfully,


Dear Benny Hill von Injoface,

You will not be amused, Benny. You will not. In fact, you will be disappointed. I would like to laugh at you silently.

I really think you're a puny puffle. I am now out of your control-in which you will not find me. But others will.

Yours unfaithfully,


P.S. Although I love Mabel, your cousin, you're still my number one enemy. Why not....I team up with your brother to destroy you, while at the same time, I destroy him. How does that sound?


Who are you???? You are strange.

I'm not scared of you... you... RELATIVE OF MABEL!


How could you...[edit]

Benny... how could you? How could you permit such an attack on my love?

I know you can't feel love, but I... I can. *sniff*

Any... anyway, I... I just wanted to *sob* inform you that I and everyone I work with will cease deposits into Maverick National Bank. I'm withdrawing.... all of m-my accounts *sniff* and... will not pay you a check for the... rest of my days.

Now.... I need to go.... see Haley.


(in distance) WHY BENNY, WHY?! ....Haley...

--Dan Sig 2.png

RE: I Shall Now Rub It In[edit]

I must admit, Benny, old boy, you seem rather ecstatic as of now...

...well, good for you! Meanwhile, I'm preparing myself and the organ for the great rewrite tomorrow. I've been waxing the pipes, cleaning the bellows, and debugging the system -- it must all go perfectly, without as much as one creak or system error! Hopefully those slowpokes at the D. of Plot won't take forever. That'll rain on my parade, see.

--His Illustrious... oh, forget the title! Mayor McFlapp! There, happy?

As one of me ol' friends used t' say, you can't appreciate the ups without a few downs... wonder. --Mayor McFlapp



Gracias por utilizar Maverick Banco Nacional! Estamos cerrando la cuenta, Director Benny De Blah, debido a: FALTA DE FONDOS. Las cuentas tienen la friolera de: MONEDA CERO. Todas las cuentas han sido drenados y cerrado.


Maverick Banco Nacional


I didn't do that, wish I did though.

Hehe. I did STEAL some money on my untraceble account, but I didn't CLOSE the accounts.

Dan Sig 2.png


I've heard about Dan and We, and some trouble stirring up in the Bureau In Fiction. Do you suppose I could perhaps...dispose of Dan for you? I have plenty of friends to do it. I could just send one deletion missle at em and...POW! No more annoying CNIC! Heh. Anyway, I'll do it for the mere fee of 20000 coins. If you want, I can delete him, or maybe put him into Pen Chi Island. After all, Dan shouldn't contact We. They don't even exist! Anyway, I've heard you don't like Dan, and I don't like Dan, so I could get rid of him for you.


PS: I can also do it if you take the Mooses In Brown off me. They've been showing up at the wrong times and have been a nuisance. Every time I say anything about the Third Window, they show up. Seriously. It's annoying.

I will also help Austin. He's my buddy in the business.


Once again, Ehlo.[edit]

Dear Director Benny de Blah,

Once again I am writing to you due to the intense boredom around me. Ever since you've written that letter to me, implying that you are going to reedit me and leaving no clues whatsoever, I have decided to stop writing to you and complain about the BoF. I've also did extensive research on the BoF.

I have also listened to Antarctica's main radio station today. Josea was talking about the moose once more. She once said that you are not giving freedom to us all. I would like to ask you several questions in regard to this:

  • Does the BoF control everything we do, including our thinking?
  • All our ideas, our contributions, our talents et cetra. are all by the Bureau and not by ourselves, or is it that the Bureau writes these actions whilst the penguins itself perform them?
  • Could you give me some examples of stories that you've created or orchestrated?

These questions have been a bother to me. I do hope you could answer them, even though you are a corrupted beast.

By the way, I saw those black vans outside my house. But could you explain why they were wearing polka-dotted ties?


I'm done with 'ya[edit]

You know what, Benny? I don't care. About the Bureau or the Fourth Wall or anything related to you. Philosophy states I think, therefore I am. I still believe you coordinate events within the universe but only manage them, not directly control them. So I'm giving up this stupid little rivalry between you and me right this instant. You corrupt little dictator, thinking you're all Napoley Bonapart. Heck, the MIB can chase me all they want. I'm going to watch some ponies now, so hopefully you'll agree to this ceasefire and we're done.

That does not mean, however, I will not spill the beans about your "company".


P.S. The cake is a lie.

Criminal scum.[edit]

Dear Director Benny,


THE BUREAU OF FICTION WILL BE LEAKED. I don't care what I said earlier. I've reread all of your misdoings, and you're as DESPICABLE as NO ONE COULD BE. I'm gonna tell the WHOLE of Antarctica on you, and what you've did with our late friend Ivy and our late friend Hal. Remember those two? Yeah.

Your "Bureau of Fiction" is of NO USE. I am FREE TO TELL WHAT I WANT. The Moose In Black are just a bunch of pointless idiots. Heck, you haven't even implemented some sort of, I dunno, memory eraser things yet. Don't try using video games to muddle the issue, either.

Evil criminal scum. Monstrous, in every possible way! Let me repeat this and out loud, you DON'T DO ANYTHING, you HEARTLESS and you are the WORST GRAMMAR CHECKER. EVER.

Ahem, now if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to watch more ponies.

It used to be colours. ~Alex001 14:31, 9 November 2011 (UTC)


I've read even more of the nasty stuff you have done. Evil criminal scum. I hate every single thing about the Fourth Wall now.

Although come to think of it, there is no Fourth Wall. Even if I can't use physics to deduce that, I could use philosophy. There is no Fourth Wall. You guys all existed of natural causes. There was no Fourth Wall, the Fourth Wall is not existent and there is NO. FOURTH. WALL.

I'll always remember The City. The City was one of the dearest articles before it got swept away. That is one of the few remaining pieces of evidence I have left that proves the Fourth Wall isn't real.

In fact, the Fourth Wall is actually existant, but in another form. It doesn't completely cover up the barrier. It is interconnected with the world.

I'm telling Pinkie Pie on you.

It used to be colours. ~Alex001 15:12, 9 November 2011 (UTC)



Make them stamp my archetype as "good". That is an idea thought by myself.--Emperor Octavian

"Director Benny is a high quality article, which is awesome! (great if you like.)"[edit]

:/ --
18:25, 3 February 2015 (UTC)

How's things when you got basics?[edit]

When life gives you Director Benny...

LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET! That's life. --Puffles! (Where is the gold puffle?) (talk) 23:58, 7 March 2015 (UTC)

YOU FOOL.[edit]

DOES IT MATTER IF WE SPELL THINGS RIGHT OR WRONG, DIRECTOR BENNY? --This is a puffle. And this is their talk page. 23:38, 15 March 2015 (UTC)