Talk:Tales of Memory

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oooooo[edit]

I like where this story is going. Give me a holler if you need drawings :3 Zone 13:26, 21 January 2011 (UTC)

(obsessive yodelling). If you can, can you make a picture of Alfred being confronted in the pub? Thanks. Hope I'm not copying your stuff, Tales of Memory XD--Sir Kwiksilver of TARDIS-What kind of hallway is this? Is this your house?POH-KAY-MAAHNN!! 13:57, 21 January 2011 (UTC)

Oh ya lOl. Had a feeling you got the title from Deception and Phantasm. Maybe I'll tie the Zero Squad in with Phantasm somewhere along the way. I'll get to work on that pic soon, probably tomorrow. Zone 14:45, 21 January 2011 (UTC)

This story is comming along quite nicely. Please work on it as much as you can, as I cannot wait to see what happens next!--XTUX Hun May the bird of paradise fly up yer nose! 01:28, 22 January 2011 (UTC)

The censors finally come[edit]

This is an interesting story undoubtedly, but by the way it was told, it seemed more like it was telling a tale of humans with a penguin or two interlaced within. There were no references to much of anything canonical or to penguins in general: a setting that could go down in the human world as easily as the CPFW world.

If you could, it'd be nice if you made an attempt to incorporate some penguin elements in. He waddled out the door. He rested his flippers on his beak. Simple stuff like that, but by no means am I forcing you.


Then, there's the murder. Stabbing, even with is illegal. May I suggest instead that the weapon be a deletion device and the truama be him seeing the poor penguin getting deleted as he entered, without him seeing who or what did it? Maybe it was shot through the window or something. I don't know how, but whatever it was, you can't stab on a kids' site. It's usually not instanteneous, and even if it was, I don't think it's G-rated. Plus, it's a bit more descriptive than it could be. Alternately, the murder weapon could be a blunt item and they just slammed her in the back of the head. That'd be instant and bloodless, therefore legal.

You'll need to change the method of death, because while both murder and deletion with criminal intent are legal, provided that in the former the "bad guy" is brought to justice by the end of the tale, and while being framed is as well, this particular setting is not permitted by the stipulations of the Codes.

Since this is your tale, and because all of you are brilliant writers, I won't meddle with your affairs if you can clean this up. In fact, I really don't want to meddle with your affairs, because I don't know what your story will do, nor how you want to do it.


--† TurtleShroom™! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †  :)  :) I must take this butterfly net and stuff it up the leg of my dad's pants! / Oh! Is it Father's Day already? † † BIG LAUNDRY. ――–――――― 23:09, 23 January 2011 (UTC)

P.S.: Is this tale taking place in Freezeland, and the murderer is out on bail while fleeing for his life? If not, can some vigilantes start chasing our hero, or better, can a TurtleShroom character participate in presiding over his criminal trial? He could hide out in rural Eastshield and face Judge Shroo Jones if caught, assuming he gets caught.. :)
P.S.S.: Here's another idea. The protagonist does get caught and sentanced, and he is going to face a (deletion) firing squad... -but he's somehow rescued, much to the chagrin of eveyrone, and they begin a collosal man (penguin?) hunt after him, while he tries to prove his innocence. Again, these are just suggestions. I want to see how this plays out. I'm very interested so far!





<sarcasm>OH, JOY, THE CENSORS!</sarcasm>
  • ahem. Y'know, some of the stuff you censor is minor. I mean, yes, stabbing is violent, but it's not even DESCRIBED! Plus, censoring blood is pointless. Everyone knows what it is. Stabbing, yes, is painful, but it MAKES A STORY. You know LOTR? Boromir gets shot like a bunch and then dies a lot. And yet, I had no problems with LOTR. Even in simple books like...hrmm, let's see. Artemis Fowl? This one guy gets shoved into a laser wall. However, even though I dislike censoring stuff on here, I respect that you're doing what you think is right. --Austin8310 Bow ties are COOL. 00:16, 24 January 2011 (UTC)


Tales of Memory is the story of the classified Coloured Hats Project, told form the perspective of its youngest member, Mr Trilby. After a train wreck leaves four penguins dead, a scientist extracts their brains and implants them into human-like bodies grown by the X-Virus (think of Zone) to create four perfect super-soldiers that will ultimately lead Olde Antarctica's four kingdoms into battle against STINC: the seductive Miss Fedora, the motherly Miss Beret, the brawling Mr Derby and the mysterious Mr Trilby. The memories of the brains were wiped, however some of the Coloured Hats experience nightmares and trauma from their past lives, and soon they realise something's not right. They escape and join STINC in hope that they will discover who they really are. This backfires, and the four are sealed in stasis by their former ally, STINC.

On New Year's Eve, 2010, a drunken Kwiksilver and Willy the Penguin stumble across the stasis capsule, buried in the ice. Opening it releases the four, who take off in search of help. Mr Trilby, who originally made the deal with STINC, is abandoned by the rest and finds Zone, who promises to help Trilby. He joins Nightmare and the four, plus Zone and Kill, make the deadly Zero Squadron.

The main theme of Tales of Memory is the ongoing trauma Mr Trilby endures due to the horrific murder of his girlfriend, Amy, which is a vital part of the story. It is not described in detail, only the bloodstained knife and coldness which invoke emotion in the reader and empathy. Deletion just doesn't provide that kick in the emotion center that a stabbing does, because it's sort of alien. Have you ever heard of Deletion IRL? I don't think so.

When Alfred Sanderson becomes Mr Trilby, the flashes of memory become even stronger and before he escapes with his partners he roams the streets of his town, trying to piece together his shattered memory. He encounters characters introduced in the "memory" part, and it's interesting to see how they react to him. Amy's father, the Mayor, eventually dies of a heart attack after seeing Trilby, which he regrets. In the end the killer is discovered by Trilby, and is a madman that had escaped from a nearby asylum. Trilby deals his own brand of justice to the murderer, attempting to kill him, but the madman falls backwards off a cliff and dies.

Look TS, I appreciate you trying to make this G-rated, however, it will not work. I'm probably just going to move this to Un-CP and link it, because trying to censor this story will destroy its effects. I agree that it it not suitable for minors, but it's not a story for minors. It's meant to be read by teenagers and adults who enjoy good stories. I would prefer it to be on this site personally, considering the stuff that comes out on Un-CP. Can't we just create a rating template, like "This article is rated M, and is not considered suitable for minors. It includes murder and scary themes."

Awaiting your reply.--Sir Kwiksilver of TARDIS-What kind of hallway is this? Is this your house?POH-KAY-MAAHNN!! 08:44, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

Agreed with Kwik, though I question the need for censors. The only reason we have censors is to (correct me if I'm wrong) protect minors from certain themes. However, stories like Tales of Phantasm still stand (not bashing my own writing or anything, but the story is about a parasitic twin; a case of fetus in fetu, that bursted out of Zone, takes his life, and replaces it with his. See: Raziel)
To my surprise and secret delight, I've seen minors actually WANT more action in stories. Best example I can think of is EternalMagma - he actually made a forum trying to get rid of the G to PG rule, and though I respect his privacy enough to not say his age anyone who knows him well knows how young he is. Our demographic is mostly teenagers, remember that. Yes, there are 6 and under who play Club Penguin, but the instant they come onto this site I tell you now, they're not gonna wanna stay because well lets face it; we aren't exactly the most "noob" friendly community out there.
Personally, I don't really like censoring because it sensitizes kids and as they grow older and have some shock horror experience in real life, they aren't gonna know how to deal with it. But that's just a personal opinion really - nothing to do with the argument, just something to think about ;) Zone 10:37, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
Oh ya, and just want to add - Kwiksilver's an excellent writer. He makes things so descriptive to the point where you can actually visualize the scene he's written. I've got his back bro - aussie pride :P Zone 10:40, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
For TS: Presume it's an insta-death knife. --refractor this is a thing<staff /> 10:51, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

TS, look. Nobody actually really minds the stuff you censor that much. The only stuff I would really censor is more heavy stuff. Even SN is starting to want to get a bit edgier. He almost dissected one of his characters. Frankly, I love this story so far. I mean, I know the ages of a ton of the people on the site. Most of them are 13 and above. The only exceptions are RS, MM, and, er....

Heck, I dunno. And like Zone said, Kwik's an amazing writer. So is Zone (Tales of Deception+Phantasm). IMO, you kind of ruin their work when you muddle with their stuff. --Austin8310 Bow ties are COOL. 12:38, 24 January 2011 (UTC)



  • Yeah. TurtleShroom, you are going too far with censorship. The story would be ruined if the penguin was simply deleted, and Kwik is handling the story properly. The story is not written to gross out people with all the blood and gore, but he does it in a proper manner, as to instill shock and anger at the brutal murder. Kwik could've taken the shorter, bloodier way out by describing all the details, but he only mentions a bloodstained knife. I'd say that he is a masterful writer, and TurtleShroom, I'm ashamed of you. This unnessecary "censorship" is ruining perfectly good stories, and I belive that you are turing out to be a more extreme version of the TurtleShroom potrayed in Censorship Killed a Good Story Arc.--XTUX Hun May the bird of paradise fly up yer nose! 16:13, 24 January 2011 (UTC)


  • P.S.Kwiksilver could not have been less descriptive with the murder without removing the sense of horror and anger at the killer that it instills. Deletion is a poor substitute, and while it may make the penguin angry at the loss of his loved one, it would not affect the reader in the same way without a good ol-fashioned knife murder. Even Sherlock Holmes (a family friendly series of books) has murders caused by knife-wielding assassins, and the TV series Get Smart had plenty ofknife murders (though bloodless).--XTUX Hun May the bird of paradise fly up yer nose! 16:13, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

Reply[edit]

AAAAAGH!

I'm not meddling with their stuff. If I was, I'd be editing the article. I'm trying my best not to just slam my head on my desk and take initiative. The rules are the rules, and whether or not you like them, you are bound by them. Yet, you seem to just throw it out and nullify anything you darn well please, and the idea that a rule can be wiped just because you don't like it sickens and angers me. Most people are willing to work around the rules and I tend to help them, and you all have been obediant to the censorship that has made this site a clean and holy place.

Now is NOT the time to throw out the traditional and honorable quest of the holiness mandate, and for goodness' sakes, if you respect me at all, you won't do it. This site was built on decency.


HOWEVER, this is Kwiksilver and ZK we're talking about here. In the interests of compromise, stability, and friendship, I'll look the other way. I'll let said murder slide in the name of literature and because I immensely respect Kwiksilver.

Since people are nullifying the very dictum of this site just because they can, I'm going to resort to a real-world item to take the place of the COC in my passive censoring and governing on this tale: the Hays' Code.


So, the murder will stay, provided you can meet these amends:
  • This tale must end on a good note. The real murderer, in some way, must die, or at the very least, be in jail for his heinous act. Allow a firing squad to take the real murderer out and we'll be even. Under no circumstances can the bad guy get away. YOU CAN NOT END THIS TALE IN ANY MEANS EXCEPT PROPER JUSTICE BEING SERVED. PERIOD.
  • The stabbing must be performed in such a means that the death was instant. I have hunters in my family, and I shall callthem up and ask how a creature can be stabbed and put to death immediately. When I get back to you, please amend the stabbing paragraph to fix this.
I think you can respect me enough to do this.


  • Now for my other peeve. For gosh sakes, I can't tell if this tale is human or penguin. There's little to no reference to anything regarding penguins or continuity, few to no links, and absolutely nothing implying the setting. If this is a CP website, we need to be reminded, in-story, that these are penguins in a Club Penguin-esque universe. So please, let's see some beaks, flippers, waddling, and items.
  • My last issue: you said the characters are going to be drunken? Drunk on what? Cream Soda, cactus juice, or are you going to kick more sand in my face and serve up some booze? Considering the nullification of all rules prior, why not?!
  • Also, your heart attack idea is pending scientific confirmation. I maintain that it is biologically impossible for a penguin to have a heart attack, and I have lost many relatives to cardiac arrest. You have broken the thin ice and are deep in the freezing water. The only thing supporting you is the immense respect, reverence, and friendship I have for you, Kwiksilver, and fortunately, something like this won't remove it.
    • Hopefully, the results will be that avian heart attacks are possible, and I can move on with this miserable debate.


The anger of the Masses is more than enough to keep me from trying and editing this myself. For now, I won't be stupid enough to actually edit the article, but I will continue posting whatever it is I post on this talk page.

PLEASE, for my sake, PLEASE have some respect for the core tenants of this site's doctrine. Rules are made to be followed, not broken, and Exploer has vowed never again to way in on controversy: perpetual neutrality. I'm alone in this war, and I'm going to lose unless there is someone around here that has the courtesy to respect one of the reasons I come here. This is a refuge for decency, and I'm not going to let edginess compromise what I stand for. Remember who was key in censoring this site in the first place (back in 2008).



--† TurtleShroom™! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †  :)  :) I must take this butterfly net and stuff it up the leg of my dad's pants! / Oh! Is it Father's Day already? † † BIG LAUNDRY. ――–――――― 20:30, 24 January 2011 (UTC)


This reminds me of a talk I had with my maternal grandfather. He told me that the way I think, particularly in the realms of trusting others, leaving items, morality, the social norms, how to dress, my expectations of others, my expectations of society, and my views on censorship and media belong and would fit in the 1950s.
I fear, then, that this will be my downfall. This, here, might be the last time I have any sort of power or control over the site when it comes to morality. I guess I'll hold fast. When push comes to shove, I'd rather die for decency than keep at it while compromising all I stand for.
--† TurtleShroom™! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †  :(  :( "Nullification... means insurrection and war; and the other states have a right to put it down." † † When push comes to shove, you've got to do what you love, even if it's not a good idea. ――–――――― 20:46, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

The murderer can't be killed, it's inhumane or in this inpenguinmane (is that right?). To be honest, I'm not sure about capital crime yet but being shot by a firing squad is wrong; at the worse, lethal drug or electric chair.--Agent Johnson |  I'm Brit-ish and cause of that, I'm Liberal. 22:53, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
Maybe you should read the story before you question it TS. Quote from actual story;
The bar was a hustle of activity, but some of it died down as many penguins put down their Cream Soda mugs and looked to where the barman was pointing. -- proof that characters in the story use Cream Soda to achieve drunkeness. It was allowed that cream soda would be used as an alternative many a month ago.
The barman's accusing flipper was pointed at a penguin huddled at a corner table. -- humans don't have flippers, and humans aren't called penguins either.
I'd also like to point out that we've had characters die in Great Darktonian Pie War, and we plan to have more die in Nightmare Epic. Kwik even plans to kill off his own character in Wikia Catastrophe as far as I know of. Zone 23:44, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
ZK, I've read the story. I meant that it needs more penguin references, not that there weren't any. There were some, but not enough to provide a consistent penguin environment. As for other deaths, those were instanteneous and involved things like getting crushed or something not as bloody as a stabbing. Leader, as was with Earlray66, the "capital punishment" is deletion. The firing squad uses deletion guns. --† TurtleShroom™! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †  :(  :( "Nullification... means insurrection and war; and the other states have a right to put it down." † † When push comes to shove, you've got to do what you love, even if it's not a good idea. ――–――――― 00:56, 25 January 2011 (UTC)


That's not entirly true TS. Malcur got stabbed in the Wikia Catastrophe and I'm pretty sure he also got stabbed in Twilight and Shadow. I've allways really wondered if stabbing is illegal in the CP Universe why do swords exist in the first place? --Speeddasher
You have a point. I didn't know Malcur was stabbed; I haven't read that article in over a year. --† TurtleShroom™! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †  :(  :( "Nullification... means insurrection and war; and the other states have a right to put it down." † † When push comes to shove, you've got to do what you love, even if it's not a good idea. ――–――――― 01:13, 25 January 2011 (UTC)

There are 17 instances of the word "penguin" in that story, and 7 instances of the word "flipper". How is it not a consistent penguin environment, unless you want someone to write "This character is a penguin" every single time someone talks?
Oh ya, and Speeddasher has a point. Removing swords from fanon = a huge rewrite of a majority of characters. Nightmare apparently uses a sword (though, I envisioned her using a sawblade), Darktan uses a sword (even though Darktan sucks as a villain and Nightmare > Darktan, deal with it), Zone uses two swords, Kwiksilver used a sword, and I'm sure several army characters use swords as well. Zone 03:04, 25 January 2011 (UTC)

My views on the matter.[edit]

So do I agree with TS, or do I agree with Kwik. The simple answer is that I'm sorta half-and-half on this. I believe that murder is acceptable if it's not described much, but I also agree with TS on the whole "it doesn't feel like a CP story" argument.


The reason I'm not against murder being in this story is simple. Murder happens. It's sad, but it happens in societies. It's kinda hard to believe murder wouldn't happen in a world of intelligent species atleast once. Besides this isn't the first time murder has been used in a story (Twilight and Shadow in which Malcur is murdered, and in Wikia Catastrophe Willy kills Malcur again using a sword for that matter). Even in real life animals of the same species murder eachother over things. Dolphins are especially guilty of murder and other things which I won't mention on this site. There's many other examples, but I won't go into it. Bottom line, it's nature.


I also agree with Turtleshroom on the whole heart attack situation. If penguins really can't have heart attacks then I see no reason why it should be in this story. Also it really does need to have more refference to actual CP related stuff. I agree with TS on this point, if you were to replace a few of the words I really wouldn't be able to tell I was reading a story about penguins.


So final thoughts, this story does look like it could be really good, but it could use a little more CP in it. I'm looking forward to how this story turns out because it has great potential. The murder is fine, but last time I checked there were no real guns in The CP Universe, simply Deletion Rifles. --Speeddasher

Well, there are Snowball Guns, and XTUX Hun is noted for having a built-in gun that fires normal lead bullets, so there are real guns in the CPFW.--XTUX Hun May the bird of paradise fly up yer nose! 21:03, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

Explorer's straddling sides again![edit]

Though I honestly didn't have any personal problems with the murder scene, I do agree that stabbing is rather violent. How about intravenous injection of a poison?

Also, about the heart attacks: Heart attacks are caused when blood supply to the heart is cut off. I don't see why this COULDN'T happen in penguins, so I don't think you're right about the biological impossibility. But I do agree that since heart attacks are one of the ways our readers (and/or users) might have had lost relatives, they shouldn't be allowed.

Oh yeah, and the plot does seem a bit grim for CP. But then again we have the For Great Justice series. Just try to throw in some humor and connect with continuity.

Just putting in my two cents. Yours Truly, Explorer 767 (And science is FREAKIN' AWESOOOOOMMMMEEEE) v • e 22:12, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

whiel..[edit]

On a PC with a working enter key. Before I had to use Vim and slap ^M silly.

Anyways:

  • Children now frequently see stuff like CSI which has murders in gory detail. While we shouldn't have steaming hot mating scenes and head explosions ala Scanners, I think a little violence is allowed. Just don;t go overboard, just little description, and pain should be kept to a minimum; while insta-death should be used, sometimes not exactly.
  • I have had relatives die of many causes; I wouldn't feel offended; people die of causes like of those my relatives died of. Stop being so melodramatically sensitive.
  • We have SBCE and Cream Soda. Use that for your drunkness.
  • Add some CP elements.
  • BAd endings are great for cliffhangers. Sometimes, good endings and the best way to end the story, according to authors. Bittersweet endins could be used: Somewhat good but bad as well. But bad endings should be allowed.

There was a reason why the Hays code was removed. While we do need policies, perhaps a rating system like G-PG13 for articles should be used (anything more than PG-13 would be ridiculous for this site) - most users are teens here. Even you TS.

This is Captain Refractor of the USS Enterprise. --refractor this is a thing<staff /> 22:58, 24 January 2011 (UTC)


When I was in Primary School, murder stories were allowed. I don't know about the Unit of Minor States of America has to say with their over-conservative/over-liberal policies.--Agent Johnson |  I'm Brit-ish and cause of that, I'm Liberal. 23:01, 24 January 2011 (UTC)


I'll be honest with you, Refractor. I too love a good murder story (which is why I didn't hesitate to look away form the murder here), and I watch Law and Order SVU (a very violent program), so it's sort of odd that I'm taking that stance. NONETHELESS, my job on this site is to help enforce morality, and just because I love to watch SVU on the television doesn't mean I can allow it on here. That's against the sites doctrine, and I must be consistent.
Yet, murder is one of the finest plot devices there are. Now that I've calmed down and can analyze the situation, I feel that murder should be legal if non-dscriptive and be a choice alongside deletion. Capital punishment can only be deletion, to be fair to any potential wuss that supports criminals' rights. No offense to anyone that does. :|
Censorship of the media in the United States is generally illegal, unless private companies choose to do it on themselves. The government can't censor, but the private sector can. Like the Hays Code, private industries may align with decency laws of their own making, or with censorship companies like the MPAA or the Parental Advisory on CDs. The Hays Code was not a government item. The FCC may also regulate profanity on a limited level, but it's almost entirely up to the privately owned network as to what is holy and what isn't. For example, South Park is fine with most anything except the F-word and the GD-phrase. Everything else is fair game, but local distributions of the show may vary. Some networks may say it all uncut, and others might beep half the show. It's up to to the company. --† TurtleShroom™! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †  :(  :( "Nullification... means insurrection and war; and the other states have a right to put it down." † † When push comes to shove, you've got to do what you love, even if it's not a good idea. ――–――――― 01:05, 25 January 2011 (UTC)

Stabbing in regards to the Death Code (it's legal)[edit]

“ ...[A]ll death that is completely instantaneous may be utilized on this site. No character may, in dying, suffer great pain, experience miserable agony, enter a vegetable state, or fall into a coma. All death must be instaneous. ALL DEATH MUST BE INSTANTANEOUS. ”
 
By this interpretation, stabbing is legal. I apologize for the ruckus.


My maternal grandfather is an ex-hunted that often went after birds. I checked with him in regards to stabbing. He said that stabbing is normally not needed because the initial shot or the hunting hounds would take it.

However, he said, if he was to stab a bird, he would aim for and slit its throat to ensure split-second/instant death. He stated that this would cut them off and kill them instantly, and would meet the requirements of the Code and decency. He said the throat is the best option because there's not really an organ to go for.

He said it only applies if the bird has a neck (and penguins do), but since penguins have necks, ti applies.

He said that you could alternatively emulate his ancestors: take the bird by its neck and circle it for about one second. The neck will break and the chicken bird will die immediately and painlessly. He said that his grandmother did that most every Sunday in order to prepare a chicken for lunch.

  • T.L.;D.R.: to make the stabbing legal, slit the throat.


--† TurtleShroom™! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †  :(  :( "Nullification... means insurrection and war; and the other states have a right to put it down." † † When push comes to shove, you've got to do what you love, even if it's not a good idea. ――–――――― 01:20, 25 January 2011 (UTC)

Short review[edit]

While the writing overall is quite mediocre with amateur instances (e.g. the use of the word "suddenly" and replacing "said" with distracting verbs like "gushed"), I quite enjoyed the romance and sympathy that Kwiksilver invoked in the protagonist in Chapter 1. That picture Zone made was also very detailed and greatly enhanced the story.

  • Chapter 1: Solid AQA / Borderline HQA
  • Chapter 2: LQA
  • Chapter 3: LQA
BluePuffle.pngPerapin
07:37, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
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