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Dan here. I need help, you have all of those computers that can track Un-CP goons down, right? Can it track down a stalker, too? 'Cause someone with the ip CENSOR 67.98.5566 is hacking me and STEALING my stuff. I think its this obsessive girl who is following me... I don't even know her name! Haley actually broke up with me and called off the engagement because of her... Please find out who it is...


Dan Sig.png Talk to me here

You know...[edit]

When Dan said "I love you", it meant "Let me help you up." OK? YOU EVEN CANCELED A WEDDING FOR DAN AND HALEY! UGH!-Yzabtech

Hehehehe, I paid him to say that.--12yz12ab Buy An Invention (for 100000 coins)

Aww, but mom...[edit]

Come on Mom walks into wall. I can't see! I'm just trying to help uncle TSP. He needs to know, besides, some puffle from Dad's work told me to and said he would help me succeed! Wait, where am I? Walks into another wall. OWWWW.

--Your Loving Son

Forget it[edit]

You're never going to get Dan. So stay outta his buisness. That admiral's MINE, sister. And believe me, I think he doesn't like you stalking him. Anyway, I'm going to marry Dan someday and everybody knows that.

-Tesa Devecter


You're calling ME icky? Hahahaha.

Please. You're an obsessive stalker.

Further, since you've been pretty ridiculous. You're not nearly as epic, awesome, or near-worthy of him. I'm in his league. And that's a good thing, because I'm closer to him that way. You're nowhere close.

FYI, my hair is just fine. I don't have all that time to do it to a prime, because I actually have WORK. Plus, it's good to be early. I can get out of my bed and into action in one minute straight. Knowing you, the goon would have probably stolen all of the clock tower and vandalized the RDA Recycling Center before you even combed your hair. All I do is slap on a coat, grab my hammer, and chase that goon down. I don't see why they try to steal the Clock Tower anyway.

And if it's a fight of wit, moral, and're outmatched in one of them.

BTW, it's not like I'm going to go with my brothers crowd. My brothers are hooligans who shoot guns and yell at people for no reason. Austin suggested I marry his partner. He ended up on the floor, knocked out. You want the same?

And if you're comparing power...your uncle was crazy? Not surprising. My brother is in the top notch position of the Snoss Empire, knowing Swiss himself. My's a secretary and the other's like Austin.

Your Nemesis? That's just fail. My brother could think of something wittier than that.



Your job is higher and nobler than PWNING crime? All you do is attempt to remove it. I DESTROY IT.

Two, you're ELEVEN? .......

Also, I don't support my brothers. There's a reason Austin doesn't come to visit very often. Though I must admit, Swiss is a much better dresser than TSP. Oh yeah, and that stuff about dragging me off in a black van? My brothers, though they don't like me, wouldn't be fun. Anyway, who says I need to follow the government? All I need is Dan's orders.

And you don a capirote? I'm not sure whether to facepalm or start laughing.

You think your voice is louder? Yeah, that's another fault to your appearance. The glasses look like some cheap thing you'd find at the Fall Fair, your hair looks like you fell down a drain pipe and the water forced it down, and your clothes are ridiculous.

BTW, who needs manners? I have technical skills, and my vocabulary is just fine. Plus, it's not like I'm going to TALK a goon into submission.

And the other day, Dan was sleeping on the job. Did you know that? No. Because you aren't on the job.

Besides, I get to TALK to Dan. And shake his hand. And smack him upside the head like Agent Dibbs when he does something stupid.

Weren't you listening when I said "your nemesis" was pathetic? No, I don't think you were. My brother <rolls eyes> could do better than that. And mind you, he's not the brightest bulb in the lot. You two would go well together.


From: Dan Beronews ([email protected])
To:Tesa Devecter ([email protected]);Tammyshroom Jones ([email protected])

OK. ST-OP! I HACKED INTO YOUR EMAIL (OK, Maybe Tommy told me something was up.) STOP FIGHTING.

Tesa- I am sorry, anyone who is a lower rank in my OWN GOVERNMENT AGENCY who says that they are equal to me is not my type.

Tammy- Why do you keep stalking me?????? OK, Thank you for standing up for me, but, ahem, you took it a little to far.

Dan Beronews Admiral of the CNIC Head of Department of Vandalism, Ampersand Publishing Board Member of Holyberden Inc.

Didn't write this either... Dan Sig 2.png