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This is why TurtleShroom doesn't speak much of his sisters.
|Title||Chairpenguin of the Holyberden Board of Censors|
|Faction||One of TurtleShroom's younger sisters|
|Health||Obsessive (poor Dan)|
Obsessively working to censor to her brother's demands|
Equally obsessing over poor Dan
|Location||Varies, either near Dan or at her job|
|Interests||Dan, so much Dan...|
|Friends||No one really likes a nutjob, but TurtleShroom's Family loves her.|
|Enemies||Those who get in the way of Dan, and moral indecency.|
Tammyshroom Jones, nicknamed Tammy, is a geeky and obsessive sister of TurtleShroom (penguin). She has an over-the-top fixation with Dan Beronews, and by this, we truly mean obsessive, chasing the poor Admiral down on land and sea. Dan doesn't return the favor. Outside of her failed love life, she works as a professional censor, tackling indecency with the same fiery passion she uses to stalk the love of her life.
She has serious issues when it comes to Dan.
Tammyshroom hatched in 1999. Raised in Mattress Village by the same parents as all of the other Joneses, she greatly admired one of her oldest siblings, TurtleShroom, and wanted to pursue his career as a censor. Tammy proved to be a master at suppression and was easily appointed to the secret censorship board of Holyberden. As the Holyberden Board of Censors goes hand-in-hand with the Inquisition, that would technically make Tammy a high member of the Inqusition.
Growing up, Tammy's dorky appearance, plain dress, and shrill voice really turned males away from her. She strongly considered taking the path of the Jones male line without a mate... -until she happened to meet Dan. As Tammy puts it, Dan happened to be "gracefully waddling down the sidewalk" when he "handsomely collided with my unworthy being" and, "seeing that I had dropped all of my books I had failed to put in my inventory", he "nobly helped me pick them up and told me he loved me".
Of course, Dan saying "I love you" to Tammy is more of "Sorry for running into you, let me help you up".
Regardless, Tammy knew it was meant to be. She began to obsess over Dan; she poured over every fact of his life,
wiretapped his phones, kept peeking into his igloo, collected feathers that fell off of him, and, in a twisted but rather innocent manner, built some sort of shrine to him in a room near her office at the Board.
Personality and traits
Tammyshroom is usually a happy-go-lucky penguin with a shrill voice and a demeanor that screams "annoying". She normally carries a picture of Dan around with her and speaks about him frequently. When angered, though, she can cause great harm to instigators, actually being a threat to their well being. She also exhibits similar wrath on indecency.
Tammyshroom, despite her frail, nerdy appearance, is actually rather athletic and, particularly when Dan is in trouble, physically violent. She is a very speedy waddler and an expert at fighting when it is needed. Her already painful voice becomes much worse when raised, and her brutal interrogating tactics (namely tying people to chairs) have led to many a confession from Un-CP goons. Naturally, though, they always go back to their cesspool.
Her creepiest trait, though, is her horrid Dan obsession. Never resting, Tammyshroom pursues and pines over him day and night. Her room- she lives on-site in the Holyberden offices, her office being the next room over -is filled with self-made Dan memorabilia, and occasionally, items stolen from the Admiral himself. In the office's closet is her large Dan shrine, which she doesn't speak of.
Apparently, she once stole some CNIC gear and wiretapped Dan's phones. How else would she know his medical history, his deepest fears, and what he's allergic to?
Following in the footsteps of her brother, Tammy is a professional censor. Despite working on the administrative position of the Inquisition (the Board is intended to advise, archive, and record the Inquisition's actions), she defies this and does about as much field work as the usual field goon. This leads to minor frustration with other bureaucrats (particularly the rule-obbsessed Hermeshroom, another of her brothers), and the occasional frustration from TSP himself.
She is distracted by Dan, frequently daydreaming about him on the job, which also draws criticism.
She very concerned for TurtleShroom, after he lost his job as Dictator of the Clubb Phengin Weekee, and administrator in the Bureau of Fiction's Department of Plot. TammyShroom spent a lot of her time providing emotional support for her brother, which took time off pursuing Dan as often as she liked.
- DAN, IS THAT YOU?
- DAN, OH DAAAAAN!!
- DAN, DAN; LOOK, I'M OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE!! COME SEE!
- Wait, you can't give him that! Dan's preferred weapon is a Class-A two-foot long dark grey banhammer with the words "PWN" written on it in the ARIAL font! THAT'S COURIER!
- Dan's favorite color is orange, his hat size is four, and he is deathly allergic to dandelions. At night, he sometimes talks to himself and he routinely fantasizes about boats.
- Tammyshroom: (to Dan) You sure have a lot of boats.
- Dan: Yes I do.
- Tammyshroom: Of course, my favorite boat is you.
- Dan: .....
- Tammyshroom: You're a dream boat! Ha ha! It's a pun! Get it? ...-cause you're hot... wait... where are you going? DAN!
- That wiretap is configured all wrong! ...not that I'd know...
- I didn't wiretap Dan's phones!
- I want you Dan, you know that!
- COME OUT! You've been hiding in there for three hours!
- Dan... that's one hunk of penguin.
- -AND I'M GOING TO KEEP HIJACKING YOUR BATTLESHIPS UNTIL YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME!
- Oh Dan...
- Don't deny it. You like me too!
- Tammyshroom: DO YOU, DAN, TAKE TAMMYSHROOM TO BE YOUR ETERNAL MATE?!
- Tammyshroom: (impersonating Dan) Yes I most certainly do! You are so much better than battleships and everything else I do!
- DAN? IN MY HOUSE?! I must be dreaming! DON'T WAKE ME UP!
- (to Dan) (gasps) YOU'RE HOLDING MY FLIPPER!
- (to Dan) (gasps) YOU'RE HOLDING MY FLIPPER! AGAIN!!
- (having been drenched with water by Dan) WHY WON'T YOU GIVE OUR LOVE A CHANCE?! (cries)
- Dan: I have no interest in you, mystery girl... -and I won't, until, uhh...
- (Roy Dibbs waddles by and interjects to mess with Dan for fun)
- Roy: He's a few years older!
- (Dan glares)
- TammyShroom: So... there's HOPE? THERE'S HOPE!! (runs off)
- Dan: Dibbs... why?
- (Dibbs is already gone)
On the job
- Suppressing free speech comes natural to me. It's in the family.
- You actually think you can do that? CENSORED!
- EAT DECENCY, PUNK!
- (a fleeing Un-CP goon turns into a city alleyway and ducks under the metal fire escape)
- Un-CP goon: (hyperventilating) I think... I... lost... them.
- (Tammyshroom appears, apparently hanging upside down from the escape)
- Tammyshroom: HI!
- Never send a male penguin to do a female's job!
- ...which is PRECISELY why I do what I do.
- I most certainly do NOT own a gun! No, a taser works just fine!
- Black helicopter? No, that was just a seagull!
- Tammyshroom is one of the youngest penguins in TurtleShroom's family, in Holyberden, and in the Inqusition. Don't underestimate her, despite her short stature and dorky mannerisms.
- She is allergic to limes.
- Tammy is asthmatic.
- She is a parody of Tootie from Fairly OddParents.
- Kaylee sometimes lets her sleep over and give her stalking tips.