The Adventures of Red and Blue

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The Adventures of Red and Blue
What could possibly go wrong?
Start November 14, 2018
Location Shops Island, USA, etc.
Saviors from Above Gone Rogue
Achadia, Yay!

How much trouble could two chicks possibly cause? Quite a lot, apparently.

The Adventures of Red and Blue chronicles the travels of Lavender's twin chicks as they get into all sorts of trouble in their parents' absence.

Prologue: The Babysitter[edit]

It was late at night in Shops City, Shops Island. Much of the city had already gone to sleep for the night, but not President Lavender. He was in the Triangle Office, on the phone with the Prime Minister of Candvia, Maria Creslana. Lavender was trying to secure drilling rights for Shopper oil companies off the coast of Candvia, but it wasn't going very well.

Lavender: "You're making this quite tough... Our companies will pay tax, create jobs, and I PROMISE there will be no foul play! What more could you want?"

Prime Minister: "The Candvian people have had quite enough of your shenanigans, Mr. Lavender! We will not allow your frog-sniffing oil companies to come and steal our precious resources!"

Lavender: "Now you're just being ridiculous - At least table a motion in your parliament or something!"

Prime Minister: "No!"

Lavender replied in a curt and exasperated tone: "Why not? What do you have to lose?"

Prime Minister: "Your mother was a Puffle and your father smelt of O-berries!"


The Candvian Prime Minister hung up; clearly there would be no oil drilling rights yet. Lavender was exhausted; he had been working sixteen hours a day for a few weeks now on multiple pressing issues, from Candvian drilling rights, to penguin rights abuses in Acadia, to civil unrest in Malesia and much more.

Lavender left the Triangle Office and went downstairs to the Presidential bedroom, where his wife Violet was waiting impatiently in bed.

Violet: "PHILIP ROBERTSON! I'm very disappointed with you!"

Lavender thought to himself: "Crap! She's calling me by my full name! This can't be good..."

Lavender: "What? Did I forget something?"

Violet: "You promised me that tonight would be date night! You said you'd be done work by 6:00 so we could go for dinner!"

Lavender: "I'm sorry, Violet, but some things came up... I can't control-"

Violet: "It's 11:45! You could have at least given me some notice so I didn't get dressed up for no reason! I dropped a shift at the hospital just so we could go out tonight; does that not mean anything to you?"

Lavender sighed; there was no way he was going to win this argument: "I'm sorry, honey. I'll keep you in the loop next time."

Lavender and Violet tucked themselves into bed, although Violet was still quite upset.

Violet: "Lavender, we need some time to ourselves. You're too busy all the time with political stuff!"

Lavender: "What am I supposed to do? Leave the country for Chill to run?"

Violet: "Why not? He's done it before."

Lavender: "Okay... what were you thinking of?"

Violet: "We should go away for a bit... go on a vacation somewhere far away, just you and me!"

Lavender: "How about Love Island? It's domestic and we can probably vacation for free!"

Violet: "I don't want to go somewhere where we'd be recognized! We should go somewhere exotic! Maybe like-"

Suddenly, their conversation was disturbed by some rather unwelcome noise from upstairs:


Lavender: "Oh, boy..."

"What's the matter, too much EPIC for you?"

Lavender: "Violet, will you-"

Violet: "I spent all day taking care of them! It's your turn!"

Lavender sighed: "Okay then..."


"Rats! Look what you've done, Blue!"

Lavender and Violet both sighed.

Violet: "We're not going to take the kids with us, are we?"

Lavender: "Don't worry, I've got an idea."

The next morning, Lavender went to Vice-President Chill's office, where he was playing Blockcraft on his computer instead of doing work.

Lavender: "Hey, uh... Chill... You got a minute?"

Chill thought to himself: "Uh oh! I'm in for it now!"

He logged out of his Blockcraft game and closed his laptop before Lavender could see that he was just messing around.

Chill: "What do you need, Lavender?"

Lavender: "Violet is giving me a hard time about our love life..."

Chill: "Did she give you cooties?"

Lavender: "Don't be silly! Cooties aren't real!"

Chill: "They aren't? Well then, SOMEone has some explaining to do..."

Lavender: "Anyway; Violet wants to go on vacation for a bit. Clearly, I can run the country from abroad, but I don't feel comfortable putting the kids in the custody of some strangers."

Chill: "Are you asking me to babysit them?"

Lavender: "Yes."

Chill: "Aw, man! First I have to sit in this crummy office all day, now I have to babysit, too?"

Lavender: "You can take them to Chill Island if you want."

Chill: "Okay, that doesn't sound too bad... I guess it's worth a shot."

Lavender: "Thanks, Chill. I knew I could count on you."

Lavender left Chill's office and went off to start planning his vacation. Chill was excited to go back home for a while, but was also quite nervous about taking care of two troublesome chicks in Lavender's absence.

Chapter One: Trouble on Chill Island[edit]

Chill, Red, and Blue soon arrived on Chill Island, while Lavender left Shops Island for their much-needed getaway. Chill took the two chicks to his house, which was full of Armos and Puffles. Luckily, Blue loved Armos and soon began building impressive buildings.

Blue: "Hey Red! Look at this! It's our home! But in Armo form!"

Red: "Looks like something a DORK would build, if you ask me!"

Blue: "No it isn't! You just don't appreciate-"

Suddenly, one of Chill's many puffles came through and smashed right into Blue's model, completely destroying it.

Blue: "NO!"

Chill: "Sorry kiddo; the puffles aren't really fans of architecture."

Red: "I like these puffles!"

Blue: "I don't!"

Later that day, Chill had to make lunch for Red and Blue. Pretty easy task, right?

Chill: "Okay guys, I made lunch!"

Chill brought out a nice, warm tray of microwaved Pop-Tarts for Red and Blue to feast on.

Blue: "POP-TARTS!?!? Oh, boy! Mom never lets us have those!"

Red: "Eww... I hate Pop-tarts!"

Chill: "Well, uhh... this is all I really have right now, bud. Just try it; maybe you'll like it!"

Red tried it without giving it an open mind: "YUCK!"

Chill: "I don't know what you want then, kid... I just-"


Chill: "PILOT!!! What did I tell you about flying into the ceiling fan!?!?"

Chill ran out of the kitchen to see what his green puffle, Pilot had just done. He didn't know that it was very unwise to leave Red and Blue unsupervised.

Red: "Screw this, I'm outta here!"

Red jumped down from his chair and made his way towards the house's door. Blue followed along, but he was concerned.

Blue: "Where are you going?"

Red: "This place is boring, and the food is terrible! I wanna get out of here!"

Blue: "Okay...' But shouldn't we ask Mr. Chill first??"

Red: "Where's the fun in that?"

Red waddled out the door, with Blue frantically following behind.

"Red! Are you sure this is a good idea!?"

"Of course it is! What could possibly go wrong?"


Chill: "What was that!?"

Chill ran to the other end of his house from where his puffles were, to see that Red and Blue were no longer in the kitchen.

Chill: "Uh oh..."

As Chill Island wasn't very big, Red and Blue got a taste for the place very quickly. Unfortunately, that taste was quite sour. They were waddling down the streets of Chill Island, while endlessly complaining about the little town.

Red: "This island is way too small!"

Blue: "There's nothing to do around here!"

Suddenly, their griping was interrupted by a peculiar tune. Red and Blue turned around to see a Zamboni-like vehicle driving towards them. Suddenly, Red had an idea, and jumped out in the road to flag down the driver.

Driver: "Whoa there! What in the shenanigans do you think you're doing, little guy?"

Red: "Do you know where the airport is?"

Driver: "I certainly do! Why are two little chicks like you head there, though!"

Red: "Our dad grabbed a taxi headed for the airport, but he left us at home! We're trying to catch our flight before it takes off. Can you help us?"

Driver: "I sure can! Hop in!"

Red and Blue hopped onto the kind driver's shoulders as he drove along the streets of Chill Island. As the zamboni could go a whopping 12 mph, it took no time for them to get there.

Driver: "Safe travels, kids!"

Red: "Thanks!"

Red dragged his twin brother into the airport, where Blue exploded:

Blue: "What do you think you're doing!?!? Chill's gonna kill us once he finds out we're gone! Dad's gonna KILL us once he finds out about this!!!!"

Red: "Will you calm down!?! Let's go have some fun! Live a little! We'll be gone and back before Chill even knows we're gone! I promise."

Blue sighed: "Okay, fine. But I'm not taking the blame if this goes wrong!"

Red: "Trust me, nothing will go wrong!"

Somehow, Red and Blue had managed to sneak by the airport's security checkpoint, and were now sitting at the gate, waiting to board the airplane. But, there was a slight problem: They had no boarding passes and no passports.

"This is the last call for Shop Jet flight 1189 to Bro Town! All passengers please prepare to board at gate 1B."

Red dragged his brother into the boarding line, hoping that they could hop on the plane without getting noticed.

Flight Clerk: "Hello there, little guys! Can I see your boarding passes, please?"

Red: "RATS!"

Blue: "What's your plan now, genius?"

Red: "Just watch me!"

Red: "Uhh... our mom and dad already boarded the flight! We were in the bathroom and they said to just get on the plane after!"

Flight Clerk: "Ooookaayyy... Is that true, little guy?"

The flight clerk looked at Blue, looking for an answer confirming Red's blatant lie.

Blue: "Ummm.. yeah! Yeah, they already got on. Sorry!"

Flight Clerk: "Alright then, you two. You better hurry along then, you're holding up the line!"

Red and Blue: "Thank you!"

The two devious twins boarded the aircraft and strapped in; they had been to Bro Town before, but they didn't know just how far away they were going from their babysitter.

"Oh man, Lavender's gonna KILL me if I don't find those chicks!"

Chill was tearing his house apart, looking for any trace of Lavender's children, but he was having no luck. He had called over his best friend Mario Rk, who also couldn't find anything.

Chill: "Did you find anything, Mario?"

Mario: "Nope."

Chill: "This isn't good... where could they have gone??"

Mario: "Maybe call Ed? He might have seen them while he was running the Meme Machine."

Chill: "I guess it's worth a shot."

Chill grabbed his phone and called Ed, one of his other good friends who lived on Chill Island.

Ed (COMM): "Hey Chill! What's up?"

Chill: "Hey Ed, have you seen any little chicks wandering around on the streets lately?"

Ed (COMM): "What do they look like?"

Chill: "One's a little red guy, and the other is blue. Their names are Red and Blue. Have you seen them?"

Ed gulped.

Chill: "Is something wrong?"

Ed (COMM): "I miiight have picked them up and driven them to the airport."

Chill: "Oh no! Ed, meet Mario and I at the airport! We have to stop those kids before they get on a flight!"

Ed (COMM): "Alright, buddy. I'll see you there."

Chill hung up the phone, and he and Mario ran to the airport as fast as they could. They met up with Ed once he arrived, and they went inside the terminal, looking for answers.

Red and Blue were now flying high over Shops Island, on their way to Bro Town. Because Shops Island was a relatively small place, the flight would take less than an hour. In the meantime, Blue had some important business to attend to:

Blue: "Red?"

Red: "Yeah?"

Blue: "You don't really hate Pop-Tarts, do you?"

Red: "Of course not! I just said that to get a rise out of him."

Blue: "Oh, ok."

Soon afterwards, Red and Blue landed in at the Bro Town airport.

Blue: "Okay, so we're in Bro Town. What's your plan now, genius?"

Red honestly didn't know. He thought for a moment, before he impulsively answered:

"What about Club Penguin?"

Blue: "What's so special about that place?"

Red: "I always hear about it on TV!"

"SkyJet Airways Flight 3845 is departing for Club Penguin Island at Gate 4 in 35 minutes!"

Red: "Well, how convenient is that?"

"Hey there, have you seen any chicks waddling through here recently?"

Chill, Mario and Ed were at the reception desk of the Chill Island airport, trying to figure out the whereabouts of Red and Blue.

Ticket Clerk: "I'm sorry, sir, but I haven't seen any chicks around here without their parents. Maybe you should try the gate area."

Chill: "Okay, thank you!"

Ed: "If they're still at the airport, they're probably sitting in the gate area still."

Mario: "Yeah, there's no way they'd be allowed on a plane by themselves!"

Chill: "I sure hope so - it's only a matter of time before Lavender calls, asking to speak to his kids."

Once the trio got up to the boarding lounge, they looked around. The lounge was quite empty, as very few flights had come or gone within the past few hours. Only one gate was open, as usual: Gate 1B. So, Chill and his friends went up to that flight clerk to see if she knew anything.

Gate Clerk: "Hello there, Gentlemen. How can I help you?"

Chill pulled out his phone to show the clerk a photo of Red and Blue.

Chill: "Have you seen these two chicks?"

Gate Clerk: "Why, as a matter of fact, I have! Why are you looking for them?"

Chill: "They're president Lavender's chicks! I was supposed to be babysitting them, but they managed to run away! What happened to them?"

Gate Clerk: "I... uhh... may have let them on the flight..."

Chill: "WHAT!?!?"

Gate Clerk: "They said their parents already boarded, and to be honest, your government doesn't pay me enough to care about whether or not they were lying."

Chill: "Well, what flight were they heading on to?"

Gate Clerk: "They were headed for Bro Town."

Chill turned to Mario and Ed, they both knew what was about to happen:

Chill: "Well guys, I guess we're heading to Bro Town!"

Ed: "Oh boy! An adventure!"

Chill, Mario and Ed waddled outside of the terminal. Unfortunately, there were no more flights scheduled for Bro Town for that day. Fortunately, however, Chill was the Vice-President of Shops Island; he didn't need to wait for a domestic flight. He pulled out his cell phone and called his good friend, LMGT.

LMGT (COMM): "Yodood. How's it hanging?"

Chill: "Do you guys have any helicopters sitting around right now?"

LMGT (COMM): "Yeah, why?"

Chill: "I'm on Chill Island right now, but I need a lift to Bro Town and I can't wait for tomorrow's flight."

LMGT (COMM): "I know you're vice-president and all, buddy, but I can't just send military helicopters out to ferry you around willy-nilly. Maybe if it was important."

Chill: "But this is important! We're on the hunt for Lavender's kids!"

LMGT (COMM): "Oh... Okay... I'll send one right away, then!"

Chill: "Thanks, man! I knew I could count on you."

LMGT (COMM): "No problem."

In a matter of minutes, LMGT had scrambled an SIA helicopter for his friends to take to Bro Town. They hoped that Red and Blue hadn't gotten too far.

Chapter Two: Chaos in Club Penguin[edit]

Red and Blue were now at the gate awaiting their flight to Club Penguin Island. However, they had a slight problem:

Red: "They're checking passports here!"

Blue: "And? You brought our passports, right?"

Red: "No, you dummy! Why would I do that?"

Blue: "Well, if you wanted to run away so much, you should have come prepared."

Red: "Are you going to argue or are you going to find a solution?"

Blue: "Maybe I should just sit here and do nothing."

Red: "If we get caught, I'm telling Mom and Dad it's all your fault!"

Blue: "Okay, fine..."

As the last passengers got on the flight, Red and Blue walked up to the Gate Clerk.

Gate Clerk: "Hey there, little guys! How can I help you?"

Blue: "We need to get on this flight. We have to get to Club Penguin as soon as possible!"

Gate Clerk: "Okay then, can I see your boarding passes and photo ID?"

Blue: "We don't really have that..."

Gate Clerk: "I'm sorry fellas, I can't let you on without those."

Blue: "Well, according to federal law, you have to let unattended chicks on board if it's urgent."

Gate Clerk: "That's not true!"

Blue: "Probably not, but do you really get paid enough to challenge it?"

Gate Clerk: "...Get on board, before anyone catches you."

Red: "Sweet!"

Red and Blue ran onto the plane before anyone who cared about security stopped them. Soon after, the plane took of and was headed for Club Penguin Island.

At the same time, Chill, Ed and Mario arrived in Bro Town. But, instead of staying in the airport and investigating, they made a quick trip to the outskirts of town. They arrived at a big house, and rung the doorbell.


"WHAT could you POSSIBLY want at this ungodly hour!?!"

Chill: "Don't be so 'broring', Bro! We're going on an adventure!"

Bro opened the door to his house and came outside.

Bro: "Why are you going on adventure?"

Chill: "Why not?"

Bro: "What are we doing on this 'adventure'?"

Ed: "Rescuing Lavender's kids."

Bro: "How did you guys let them get lost in the first place?"

Chill: "They escaped my house while I wasn't looking, and-"

Bro: "Did you check the closets?"

Chill: "Yes."

Bro: "In the microwave?"

Chill: "Yup."

Bro: "Under the rug?"

Chill: "Mhm."

Bro: "Well, I guess they must really be lost, then. I'm on board!"

Ed: "Epic nice."

Mario: "Come on, guys; let's get back to the airport before the trail runs cold."

Chill, Bro, Mario and Ed soon arrived back at the Bro Town airport, in search of where the two rascals could have gone. Chill went up to the main reception desk and spoke to the clerk that was there.

Chill: "Hi here, can you tell me which flights have taken off in the past two hours?"

Clerk: "Sure! We've had flights going to South Pole City, Shops City, Club Penguin Island, Clarkson, Vonkouver, and Acadia."

Chill: "Okay, thanks for the help!"

The four penguins moved away from the reception desk and began discussing their options.

Mario: "That's a lot of places for them to have run off to..."

Bro: "No chance they'd go to Acadia. They'd be shot on arrival."

Ed: "They're probably not stupid enough to go to Shops City or Vonkouver either without being noticed."

Chill: "They probably don't know where Clarkson is... where is it, anyway?"

Bro: "Culldrome Isles."

Chill: "So they could have gone to South Pole City or to Club Penguin."

Mario: "Maybe we should split up and search for them in both places?"

Ed: "That sounds like a good idea."

Chill: "I'll go with Mario to Club Penguin, you two can go to South Pole City."

Bro: "Okay... Now all we have to do is arrange flights."

Chill: "No we don't! LMGT is providing transport for us."

Bro: "Well, that's convenient."

It didn't take long before another phone call to LMGT resulted in to more SIA helicopters arriving. One helicopter took Chill and Mario to Club Penguin Island, while the other took Bro and Ed to South Pole City.

"Wow, this place is amazing!"

Red and Blue had arrived on Club Penguin Island, and were touring the area. They had never seen a place so exotic or creative as the popular little island. They had just passed through the Town, and were on their way to the Snow Forts.

Red: "Snow forts!?!? You know what that means, right, Blue?"

Blue: "Please don't..."


Blue: "I really don't want to do-"


Blue was rudely interrupted by a large, slushy snowball thrown by Red.

Blue: "Okay, now you've had it!"

He ducked behind one of the snow forts and found a rock inside. He picked it up and rolled a snowball around it, then threw it at Red.


Red: "OW! What was that for, you jerk!?!?"

Blue: "I said I don't want to have a snowball fight."

Red: "Whatever. Let's see what else is around here."

Red and Blue kept waddling, and eventually found themselves in the Plaza. It was incredibly busy when they got there. They looked to the first building on their left and were intrigued.

Red: "Hey, look! That building has a Puffle on it!"

Blue: "It must be a pet shop."

Red: "Let's go inside!"


The two twins made their way through the thick crowd and waddled inside the Pet Shop, expecting to see many Puffles up for adoption. However, they were in for a rude awakening:

"Adwopt Mwe!"

"Me was Queen of PWOOKIE LAND!"

"You're a BIG PLOOPY!"

"Uppy! Uppy!"

Blue: "Oh dear... what are these people???"

Red: "They look like chicks, but..."

Blue: "Wait a minute, it all makes sense now!"

Red: "What makes sense?"

Blue: "Penguins must come from Puffles!"

Red: "..."

Blue: "Penguins must be hatched as puffles, and then they grow up to be yellow like these chicks, then they get painted by their parents! It makes so much sense! No wonder everyone has pet puffles, they're just baby penguins waiting to be-"

Suddenly, Blue's groundbreaking monologue was interrupted by a Mwa Mwa Penguin. He seemed rather large to be a chick.


Blue: "Hi! What's your name?"

Red: "Blue, don't..."

"Will you adwopt mwe? Woo'd be a GWEAT Dah Duh!"

Blue: "What kind of penguin are you? You're bigger than me, and you're just a chick!"

Without getting anyone's attention, Red snuck behind the Mwa Mwa Penguin and ripped his blond wig off. His fake accent disappeared immediately and was replaced with a very burlesque tone.

"I'm Pookie Hi Pwengin! I WUV-"



The wannabe Mwa Mwa Penguin ran away in embarrassment now that his cover had been blown. Red couldn't help but tease his brother as a result.

Red: "Wow, Blue, I didn't know that chicks wore wigs and sounded like grown men!"

Blue: "Shut up."

At the same time, Chill and Mario had arrived on Club Penguin Island, as well. They were dropped off by an SIA helicopter at the Cove and were making their way towards the plaza.

Chill: "Boy, it's awfully busy today. There isn't even a party going on!"

Mario: "There may very well be one happening, the party planners have just gotten really lazy lately."

Chill: "Huh, you might be right..."

Chill and Mario made their way through the Forest and into the Plaza, which was still very crowded. All of a sudden, they saw two familiar little creatures run by, headed towards the Forest.

Mario: "Wait a minute, was that Red and Blue?"

Chill: "I think it was... there can't be too many red and blue chicks like that around here."

Mario: "Let's follow them!"

The duo turned around and began pushing their way through the crowd. They ran back towards the forest, where they reached a fork in the road.

Chill: "They could have gone to the Cove, or they could have gone to the Mine Shack..."

Mario: "Should we split up and look for them?"

Chill: "No, I think I know where Red would go..."

Chill and Mario turned right in the Forest, headed back towards the Cove. They expected Red to drag his brother that way to try surfing or something else stupid.

Meanwhile, Bro and Ed had just arrived in South Pole City, and were standing on the helipad at the airport.

Bro: "This is gonna be tricky... How are we supposed to track down two rogue chicks in one of Antarctica's largest cities?"

Ed: "If you want to catch a little rascal, we gotta think like little rascals!"

Bro: "Where's the first place you'd go if you were in a big city and spent most of your day eating boogers?"

Ed: "Probably the-"


Ed's thought was interrupted by his phone ringing.

Ed: "Hello?"

Chill: "Hey Ed, I think we just spotted Red and Blue here in Club Penguin. If you guys catch a flight here we can all look for them together."

Ed: "Okay, we'll get on that right away."

Ed hung up the phone.

Bro: "What was that all about? Did you get any hints?"

Ed: "Chill says that he spotted Red and Blue already. He just told us to catch a flight to CP so that we can all search the area."

Bro: "Oh, well then, this is going to be easy!"

Red and Blue waddled through the Forest, blissfully unaware that Chill and Mario had spotted them, and were now on the hunt. They came to the end of the path and arrived at a small opening with A mine shack and a school.

Blue: "Is it even worth asking?..."

Red: "Nope!"

Red made his way over to the mine shack and waddled inside. He hopped into a mine cart and set off down the tracks into the mine.

Blue: "Hey, wait for me!"

Blue followed suit, also hopping on a cart and making his way down the tracks.

Red: "This is fun! WOOOOO!!!!"

It didn't take long before Red started showing off; he started performing many tricks such as jumping the cart, grinding it sideways on the tracks, and actually surfing the cart around corners. Blue was still far off in the distance, but he was gaining speed and could see what Red was doing.

Blue: "SHOWOFF!"

Red: "That's nothing; WATCH THIS!"

Somehow, Red managed to pick the cart up and run along the tracks briefly before putting it down and hopping back in.

Blue: "How did you even?..."

Red could see the end of the track in sight, and as such he slowed down. Blue, on the other hand, couldn't see this and sped up, trying to catch his twin brother. Red rounded the last bend and smoothly brought his cart to rest. Moments later, Blue came around at full speed. Unfortunately, he was going too fast to stop in time:


Red was still in his cart when Blue came in at full speed, and as such Red was sent flying across the mine and into the rock wall on the other side.


Blue: "Sorry!"

An unsuspecting penguin wearing a jet pack and carrying a Jerry Can of jet fuel was sitting in the corner. He had seen everything.

Penguin: "What's the matter, little red fella? Too EXTREME for ya?"

Red: "Shut up! You wouldn't be so happy if your idiot brother rear-ended you at-"

Blue: "No idiot. No idiot. You're the idiot!"

Red: "Who are you, anyway?"

Penguin: "My name's Rydan, but you can call me 'Mr. X-Treme'!"

Blue: "Why do you have a jet pack with you?"

X-Treme Penguin: "I always have a couple jet packs on me so I can do EXTREME sports!"

Red: "Like what?

X-Treme Penguin: "Like EXTREME Cart Surfing! Watch this!"

X-Treme Penguin took another jet pack out of his inventory and strapped one to each side of one of the mine carts.

Red: "Woah, that looks awesome!"

X-Treme Penguin: "Do you guys wanna take a ride back up the top with me?"

Red: "Yeah!"

Blue: "Ehhh...."

X-Treme Penguin: "Don't be such a downer, little guy! Hop in; I promise I won't kill ya."

Blue: "Whatever. My brother will probably end up killing me someday anyway..."

Red and Blue hopped in the modified mine cart with X-Treme Penguin and they set off up the track. He activated the jet packs and they ground the cart around every corner, and even caught air whenever they hit a bump. It had taken the twins over a minute to ride their carts all the way down the track on their way into the mine, but X-Treme Penguin had managed to do it in a matter of seconds. Once they emerged at the Mine Shack entrance, both twins were exhilarated:

Red: "That. Was. AWESOME!"

Blue: "That was so much fun!"

X-Treme Penguin: "Do you kids think you can do any better than that?"

Red: "Absolutely! Watch this!"

Red hopped back in the souped-up mine cart and Blue followed suit and headed back down into the mine. They both had lots of fun setting new time records, and they each took turns driving the cart down the track and back up.

After a couple rounds of EXTREME cart surfing, Blue approached X-Treme Penguin asking for a favor.

Blue: "Hey, Mr. X-Treme, do you have any more jet packs on you?"

X-Treme Penguin: "I've got one more. Why?"

Blue: "Let's put it on the back of the cart so we can go even faster!"

X-Treme Penguin: "Alright little dude, but be careful! Make sure you don't crash into a wall or anything."

Blue: "I won't!"

Red: "Yes you will!"

Blue: "We'll see about that!"

Blue took the third jet pack and strapped it to the back of the mine cart. He and Red hopped in and fired up all three jet packs. They rocketed down the tunnel as breakneck speed.

Red and Blue: "WOOHOO!!!!!"

All was going well, that is until Red and Blue reached the final stretch of the tunnel. The last part of the track heading into the mine consisted of a long straight stretch followed by a very sharp turn, which was intended to slow carts down. The twins didn't seem to care about this, as they applied full throttle through the straightaway.

Red: "Wait a minute, shouldn't we slow do-"

But it was too late. Before Red or Blue could do anything, they bounced off the tracks and slammed straight into the rock wall.


The impact violently shook the tunnel walls. Cracks formed at the point of impact and began resonating through the tunnel, before the unthinkable happened.


All of a sudden, the tunnel and the rock walls collapsed near the area of Red and Blue's impact. Luckily, they survived the accident with only a few scrapes and bruises.

At the base of the mine shack, X-Treme Penguin was sitting and waiting for Red and Blue to return. A few minutes had elapsed before he realized that something may have gone wrong.

X-Treme Penguin: "I wonder what happened to those little dudes... I should go investigate."

He got up and started waddling down the track, and was soon followed by the blaring of sirens.


The Club Penguin Fire Department had found out about the mine collapse, and was on their way to investigate themselves. They barricaded the area both inside and outside the mine so that nobody could enter. It would take a while for them to complete their quarantine, so X-Treme Penguin had time to find the troublesome twins.

"Red... *cough* Red... You *cough* okay?"

Red: "Yeah... I'm only scratched up *cough* a bit."

Blue: "I think there was *cough* an avalanche... How are we going to get out of here?"

Red: "I don't know..."

Amongst the pile of rubble they had been trapped in, they saw an opening which led away from the tracks. They made their way into an opening and found a little cavern. There were no footprints or any sign of life in the cavern, but there was a lot of shiny yellow stuff on the walls and cavern roof. There were also large lumps of it sitting on the floor. Blue picked a piece out of the wall and showed it to his brother.

Blue: "Hey Red, do you think this is-"

"THERE you guys are! Thank goodness you're still alive!"

Blue was interrupted by X-Treme Penguin, who had coincidentally managed to dig his way through the rubble and find Red and Blue.

X-Treme Penguin: "Wait a minute, this cave is covered in GOLD!"

Red: "Yeah, and?"

X-Treme Penguin: "Do you know how gnarly and valuable gold is!?!"

Blue: "No, how much?"

X-Treme Penguin: "Yeah, I bet there's about 2000 coins worth in here. I can bring this gold back up to the surface, but I'll give you guys a fair share right now."

X-Treme Penguin pulled out his wallet and wrote a 2000-coin cheque for the twins. Unbeknownst to Red and Blue, there was much more than 2000 coins worth of gold in that cavern.

Red: "Aw, sweet!"

X-Treme Penguin: "Now, you two better run off, before anyone comes here and tries to steal our gold."

Blue: "Yes, sir!"

Red and Blue scampered off and made their way out of the tunnels, evading the fire department and police investigators in the process. Little did the twins know, however, that they had just been conned out of a fortune worth of gold. X-Treme Penguin managed to stash much of the gold in his inventory and was able to make many thousands of coins off of it, which would later go on to fund more of his crazy antics.

"Geez... I've searched everywhere and I can't find them at all!"

Mario was searching every nook and cranny of the Cove while Chill had taken it upon himself to go out on a "reconaissance" mission.

"Where could they be?.... Where could they be..."

Mario knelt down and picked up a heavy rock to look under it. All he saw was a starfish, so he put it back down.

"Hey Mario, I don't think the kids would be there!"

Out of nowhere, Bro and Ed had appeared. They had just been dropped off at the Lighthouse by an SIA helicopter, and they were ready to begin the hunt.

Mario: "Thank goodness you guys are here! Chill and I have been searching the area like crazy, but we can't find any signs of Red or Blue."

Bro: "What makes you think they'd be here specifically?"

Ed: "Yeah, and where is Chill? I don't see him anywhere."

Mario: "We saw Red and Blue in the Plaza, and they went to the Forest. That means they must have either come here or gone to the Mine, and we think they'd be more likely to-"


All of a sudden, as massive wave rolled in from the ocean.

"ACK! I had that grind going, too!"

The wave just happened to deposit Chill onto the beach, still holding a tattered surfboard. He was dazed and confused, and was covered in seaweed and starfish. His friends couldn't help but point and laugh.

Mario: "Hey, Chill... heheheh ...Find any valuable data?"

"Yeah, I hear you're a real star at this kind of research!" Bro remarked, as he pointed at a starfish which was stuck to Chill's forehead.

Ed also snickered and pointed: "10/10 for effort Chill, I don't know so much about the execution, though!"

Chill: "Shut up!"

Chill wiped the seaweed and starfishes off himself and waddled up the beach to meet his friends.

Mario: "Seriously though, did you find any sign of them?"

Chill: "Nope. I'm guessing you guys haven't had any luck here?"

Bro: "We wouldn't know; we just got here!"

Ed: "I don't see the chicks anywhere, so I guess we haven't."

Chill: "Alright, then. We should retrace our steps and see if we can find any more clues."

The four penguins waddled up the stairs from the cove and made their way back into the forest. They stopped to ponder their options, but were rudely interrupted by the blaring of sirens.


Suddenly, a fire truck from the Fire Department came rushing through the forest on its way to the Mine Shack. Some firefighters were following on foot, so Chill decided to stop one of them.

Chill: "Hey, you! What's going on, is there an emergency?"

Firefighter: "There's been an avalanche at the mine. Apparently two chicks were getting a little to brave with the mine carts and had an accident."

Before the group could ask any more questions, the firefighter rushed off towards the scene of the accident.

Mario: "Two chicks? It couldn't have been Red and Blue, could it?"

Bro: "Causing an accident seems like something they would do... Let's go check it out!"

They made their way to the Mine Shack, which was still cordoned off by the Fire Department and the Police. Chill tried to make his way through the blockade, but was quickly stopped.

Police Officer: "Sorry son, I can't just let anyone into an accident scene like this."

Chill: "But I'm the vice-pres-"

Police Officer: "I can't just let you in because you're a politician either, kiddo."

Ed: "Maybe you can let me in, then."

Ed stepped forward and pulled out his EPF badge.

Police Officer: "Oh, sorry for the disruption, agent, I didn't-"

Chill: "Hey, if I knew you let secret agents in I would've just flashed my badge, too!"

Bro: "Yeah!"

Chill and Bro also pulled out their EPF badges and were allowed into the accident scene. Even though Mario wasn't an EPF agent, he just followed behind and hoped the police officer wouldn't notice.

After a few minutes of waddling through the tunnels, Chill, Mario, Bro and Ed arrived at the scene of the accident. A large rockfall had blocked the track ahead, and there were only smoldering remains of some jet packs and the mangled remnants of a mine cart to show that any accident had happened.

Bro: "This looks pretty brutal... I don't know how two chicks could have survived this..."

Ed: "Hey guys, look over here!"

Ed had crawled up onto the rubble, behind the destroyed mine cart and saw two feathers. One was red, and one was light blue. They were doused in jet fuel and shards of metal, but there were no clear signs of burning on them.

Ed: "These feathers might be from Red and Blue... it sure seems like something they'd do!"

Bro: "Yeah, but how do we know the feathers belong to them? There are thousands of penguins and puffles on Club Penguin Island, it could belong to any of them!"

Chill: "Hey, look at this! It's a small tunnel!"

Everyone looked over at Chill, who was digging through the rubble and came across a small cavern which had just been uncovered from the rockfall. He climbed inside, and everyone else piled in after him.

"HEY! Who goes there? Who are you!?!"

The four penguins got into the cramped cavern and saw X-Treme Penguin, who was still stuffing his inventory with whatever gold he could pick away with his flippers.

Ed: "Hey there, have you seen two little chicks running around here?"

X-Treme Penguin: "I see a lot of chicks."

Ed: "Any chicks with these types of feathers?"

Ed pulled out the red and light blue feathers he had found in the tunnel and presented them.

X-Treme Penguin: "Yes, I have... why are you asking?"

Chill: "We're on the hunt for two runaway chicks, and we believe they came in here. Have you seen them?"

X-Treme Penguin: "Yeah, they were in here. They caused the accident outside, I swear I had nothing to do with it!"

Bro: "We don't care who did what. Do you know where they've gone? Are they okay?"

X-Treme Penguin: "They're fine. I sent them on their way after they caused this accident so that they wouldn't get in trouble. I believe I heard them talking about going downtown or something..."

Red and Blue had indeed gone towards the Town. They were on their way, waving around the cheques they had just been given by X-Treme Penguin. Even though they were bruised and sore, they were on top of the world.

Red: "We're rich! RICH I tell ya!"

Blue: "Two THOUSAND coins! I bet we could buy the whole island with this much money!"

Red: "I bet we could buy all of Shops Island with that kind of money!"

Blue: "Hey, Red, look over there! It's a clothing store!"

Red: "Maybe we should buy some clothes, so that we won't get spotted."

Blue: "Good idea."

Red and Blue waddled inside the Gift Shop, and they each browsed through the Penguin Style catalog. They picked out the clothes they each wanted. They went up the the front desk and gave their cheques to the cashier, who took them and put them in a safe deposit box. She then came back and gave Red and Blue their change. They were expecting to have only spent a small amount of money on clothes. Instead, they were given a paltry 17 coins in change.

Blue: "Wait a minute, we have four thousand coins! That amount of money makes us rich! You can't take it all from us for a little bit of clothing!"

Cashier: "Sorry kiddo, clothes aren't cheap. A few thousand coins won't get you anywhere, anyways."

Red: "What a ripoff!"

Red and Blue stormed out of the store; although they had stylish new outfits, they were quite annoyed that they had just been "conned" out of their "fortune".

"So, where do you think they went?"

Chill, Mario, Bro and Ed were standing at the Plaza, trying to figure out where Red and Blue had gone after their accident. It was quite apparent that they had escaped the mine without any serious injuries, but the trail had once again run cold.

Bro: "Maybe they went to the Pizza Parlor?"

Chill: "If Red is too uncivilized to eat Pop Tarts there's no way he'd try pizza!"

Ed: "I don't think he'd go to the mall..."

Chill: "No, nobody does."

Shopkeeper: "HEY! I HEARD THAT!"

Mario: "WE DON'T CARE!"

Bro: "Do you think they went to the-"


Bro: "Geez... What about the Pet Shop?"

Chill: "Maybe... I can see one of those guys shooting the other out of a Puffle Launch cannon."

The four penguins opened the doors to the Pet Shop, and were met with an unwelcome surprise.


"Pweeeeease adwopt mwe!"

"No scwub! No scwub! YOU scwub!"

"Uppy! Uppy!"


The four penguins quickly rushed back out of the Pet Shop. They had forgotten about the ongoing infestation of Mwa Mwa Penguins.

Mario: "I can't believe we forgot about that."

Chill: "I don't care if they ARE in there, I'm not dealing with that nonsense!"

Bro and Ed: "Agreed."

The four penguins, now quite confident that Red and Blue could not be rescued from anywhere in the Plaza, continued their search elsewhere.

Red and Blue, still upset that they were "conned" out of most of their "fortune", wandered aimlessly around Club Penguin until they wound up in front of a massive lighthouse.

Red: "Wow, look at that tall building!"

Blue: "Wow, look at that big ship!"

At the time, Captain Rockhopper had come to Club Penguin aboard his famous ship, the Migrator. He was standing at the foot of the lighthouse with his pet Puffle, Yarr, on his shoulder.

Rockhopper: "Avast, me hearties, I be leavin' now! It was a good visit, but I must embark on another adventure! Fair winds!"

Yarr bounced up and down in acknowledgement.

Out of respect, all the interested Club Penguinites had disembarked from the Migrator, as Rockhopper never took passengers as a matter of principle. Red and Blue, being the inattentive troublemakers that they are, didn't notice this and boarded anyway. They made their way down into the main hold.

Blue: "Red, are you sure we should be down here? I mean, look at this sign over here!"

Red: "What sign?"

Blue: "That one!"

Blue pointed over to a sign on the wall; it was a stark message telling any visitors that they must leave the ship immediately. Red waddled up to the sign and squinted at it before proudly declaring:

Red: "This sign won't stop me, because I can't read!"

Blue: "That's not something to be-"

All of a sudden, the twins heard a bang from the top deck. Rockhopper had just pulled up the gangplank for the Migrator and was pulling up his anchor. The ship jolted violently as the tide pulled it away from shore; Red and Blue were now trapped on the Migrator. The twins looked out a porthole to see that they were indeed on a sailing ship.

Blue: "Nice going, Red! Now we're trapped on a ship headed to who knows where!"

Red: "Calm down, and get behind these crates before we get spotted!"

Red pushed his brother behind a pile of crates before Rockhopper could spot them. They ducked down and prepared for a long voyage.

Red: "You need to learn to live a little, man!"

Chapter Three: Anchors Aweigh[edit]

Chill, Mario, Bro and Ed, having failed to find Red and Blue in the Plaza, made their way to the Town to try their luck again.

Mario: "I can't see them going into the Coffee Shop..."

Bro: "Even if they went into the Gift Shop, they couldn't stay in there for too long... How about I stay out here and wait to see if they come out?"

Chill: "You can do that; Ed, Mario and I will go inside the Night Club to look around."

The trio ventured inside the Night Club; it was jam packed! The dance floor was littered with penguins and puffles, all making groovy moves to the music.

Ed: "This place is packed!"

Mario: "Tell me about it. Hey, the music's better than usual! Normally they just have some random noob busting out some awful noise!"

Chill: "Look over there, guys! It's Cadence!"

Chill, Mario and Ed looked over at the DJ station to see no-one other than Cadence being the disk jockey. All of a sudden, an autographed background and a stamp appeared in their inventories.

Mario: "That's cool and all, but how are we going to find Red and Blue among hundreds of other penguins?!"

Ed: "Watch this!"

Ed waddled confidently onto the dance floor. He cleared a space close to the DJ station and began dancing; he was pretty good at it. Chill and Mario went up to Cadence and gave her a track to play. Ed's intention was that pulling dank moves would get Red's (and thus, Blue's) attention so that they could be caught.

Ed: "♫ Uh huh, uh huh! Look at these slick moves! ♫"

Surprisingly, Cadence looked at those slick moves and was impressed. So impressed, in fact, that she left the DJ station to Chill and Mario to control while she went down to confront him.

Cadence: "Hey there, fella! You got some pretty groovy moves there! Mind if I join you?"

Ed: "Sure!"

The penguins on the dance floor cleared some room for their beloved Cadence, and they both began to pull off some crazy dance moves. Unfortunately, this didn't seem to be attracting either of the twins, so Chill and Mario decided to try something different. They decided to put on a different track, and suddenly a graphic overlay popped down on the far wall of the Night Club.

Cadence: "You down for a little competition?"

Ed: "Absolutely."

Cadence: "It's on, then!"

The dancing went on for a while. Cadence and Ed were both putting out their best moves, and the crowd was mostly cheering for Cadence. However, Chill and Mario quickly got bored.

Mario: "Uhh... Chill?"

Chill: "Yeah?"

Mario: "How do we decide who's the winner?"

Chill: "Huh, I never thought of that... Hold on, I have an idea!"

Suddenly, the music shut off and the graphic overlay retracted back into the ceiling. All the penguins in the Night Club looked at Chill and Mario at the DJ station.

Chill: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!"

The crowd got excited, expecting Cadence to win.

Mario: "The winner is ED! Due to... uhh...."

Chill: "Due to a minor technicality!"

Chill and Mario high-fived. "We sure dodged a bullet with that one!", they thought.


Bro: "Okay, I've been out here for twenty minutes. There's no way Red and Blue are inside the Gift Shop! I should probably-"


Bro: "Never mind, I should definitely go inside and see what's going on."

Bro barged inside the Night Club so see Chill, Mario and Ed being bombarded with fruits and other objects for having chosen someone other than their beloved Cadence as the best dancer. Bro marched up to the DJ station and yanked all of the connection cords out of their sockets. The crowd gasped in disbelief.

Chill: "What are you doing!?!?"

Bro: "You guys clearly aren't getting anything done, let's get out of here!"

Normally, Chill, Mario and Ed would have argued Bro's point. But, seeing as they were getting pelted with fruits and vegetables non-stop, they decided to just go with it. They ran out of the Night Club and made their way east towards The Beach.

Lavender and Violet were greatly enjoying their vacation, away from Shops Island and away from their rascal kids. They had booked a personal resort in Albergue de Plata, a Castillan colony in Latin Antarctica, far away from Shops Island's sphere of influence and far away from people who would bother the president and first lady when they were trying to relax.

The president and first lady were sitting on one of the many glistening beaches of Albergue de Plata when Violet had a thought.

Violet: "Lavender?"

Lavender: "Yeah?"

Violet: "Are you wondering how the kids are doing? I know I am..."

Lavender: "I'm sure they're doing fine. Chill may be crazy but he's not dangerous. Negligence doesn't seem like his thing."

Violet: "I know, I trust him... I still think we should call and see what's up."

Lavender: "I don't see why not."

Lavender pulled out his phone and put in Chill's number. Assuming he would be on Chill Island, his home, he didn't put in an area code.

"The number you have dialed is not available. Please try again with the area and country code."

Lavender: "That can't be good..."

Meanwhile, on Club Penguin Island, Chill and Mario were standing atop the Lighthouse while Bro and Ed were searching for Red and Blue from the sky.

Mario: "They've been gone for a while now..."

Chill: "I bet they lost all their attempts and they're stuck in a tree somewhere. They should be-"


Mario: "Really?"

Chill: "Yes!"

He picked up his phone and answered it: "Hello there!"

"Generally incompetent! What are you doing with-"

Chill: "Hey, Lavender! How's it going?"

Lavender (COMM): "I tried calling you earlier, but it says you're outside of Chill Island..."

Chill: "Yeah, uhh... we brought Red and Blue back to Shops City. They were getting homesick."

Lavender (COMM): "Well, that was nice of you. How's the paperwork treating you?"

Chill: "Oh crap, I forgot I'm technically president... It's fine. I've been delegating a lot of it to the staff."

Lavender (COMM): "Good to hear. Well, I better let you-"

"Philip, let me talk to my chicks!"

Lavender (COMM): "OH, before I hang up, Violet would like to say hi to Red and Blue."

Chill hadn't prepared for this. He covered the speaker on his phone with his flipper and turned to Mario.

Chill: "What do we do?"

Mario: "I dunno; Pretend to be them?"

Chill: "I guess it's worth a shot..."

Violet (COMM): "Hi Red! Hi Blue! How are my little rascals doing?"

Chill and Mario: "HI MOM!"

Mario: "Chill Island was SO boring, Uncle Chill only had Pop Tarts and Red refused to- OW!"

Mario: "What was that for?!?"

Chill: "I gotta make it realistic!"

Chill: "That's what you get for being a scrub and tattling on me, Blue!"

Chill: "That's enough, you two!"

Mario and Chill: "Aww..."

Chill: "Sorry, Violet, they're pretty tired and cranky. I best let them take a nap before they cause anymore trouble.

Violet (COMM): "I understand. Thank you so much for taking care of them, Chill!"

Chill: "Yeah, anytime Violet."

Violet hung up, satisfied to hear from "her chicks". Chill and Mario let out a heavy sigh of relief.

Mario: "PHEW! That was close!"

"You petulant children - Have you done anything since I left!?"

Bro had just arrived back atop the lighthouse. He had waddled up the stairs, dragging his jet pack behind him. He was badly scratched up and in an appalling mood. There was lots of smoke coming from his badly dinged-up jet pack.

Chill: "What happened to you? It looks like you were-"

Bro: "I HATE caves."

"BOOYAH! Kerching! Flexing on the scrubs with my EPIC SKILLS!"

Moments after Bro got back to the lighthouse, Ed flew back in with his jet pack still intact. He landed on the launchpad, very proud of himself. He was also carrying a massive bag of coins with him.

Ed: "Jealous?"

Bro: "Yes. I didn't find anything, did you?"

Ed: "Nope. Unless you mean ALL THI$ MONEY!!!"

Bro sighed, before turning to Chill and Mario: "Lemme guess, you guys didn't find anything either?"

Mario: "What were we supposed to do?"

Bro: "There's a telescope right over there, you know. You could have looked out to sea."

Bro pointed to the other side of the beacon, where there was a telescope attached to the handrail. Chill waddled over to it and took a look at it.

Chill: "Hey, there's the Migrator! And hey, I see a red and a blue chick looking out the rear window!"

Ed: "Let me see!"

Ed pushed Chill out of the way and looked at the telescope himself. He confirmed that the two chicks peeking out the rear window were indeed Red and Blue.

Ed: "We did it, boys! We found them!"

Bro: "We found them, but where are they going?"

Chill: "Probably Rockhopper Island - we can fly ahead and intercept them there!"

Bro: "That sounds like a good idea. I'll call LMGT and get him to send a helicopter."

The four penguins waddled down the stairs of the lighthouse back to the ground floor, waiting for their impromptu flight to arrive.

Chill: "Hey Mario, remember that time we hijacked the Migrator?"

Mario: "Yeah, Rockhopper was SO salty! It was amazing!"

Chill: "Good times... good times."

"It's getting hot in here!"

"Red, you've been saying that for the past two hours! Can you please keep quiet for a bit?"

Red and Blue were still stowing away on the Migrator, however their time in hiding would soon be over; the twins could see land coming up on the horizon quite quickly, and as such they knew they'd be able to jump ship before Rockhopper spotted them.

About an hour later, the Migrator finally made landfall, so Rockhopper and Yarr disembarked to go trade with the locals. Red and Blue managed to run off the ship behind them without getting spotted, but were forced to hide in a bush nearby to avoid getting caught.

Red: "We did it, Blue! We made it to Rockhopper Island!"

Blue: "Something tells me that Rockhopper Island doesn't have too many outsiders on it."

The twins both peeked over the bush they were hiding behind to observe Rockhopper trying to trade with one of the locals.

Rockhopper: "Arr... I be coming with many delicacies from Club Penguin! Stinky cheese, coffee beans, fish... plenty of goodies, me hearty!"

Penguin: "Yes, yes... Typical goods... I'll need one hundred sacks of coffee beans, two wheels of stinky cheese, five mullets, and a couple pieces of clothing for my wife to send your order through, Rockhopper."

Blue: "Yeah.... I'm pretty sure this isn't Rockhopper Island."

Rockhopper: "Yarr, go get me customer his supply. I'll be askin' for five hundred bushels of bananas, as usual, me friend."

Red: "This is boring, let's get out of here!"

Seeing as how Rockhopper had his customer distracted, and given that Red couldn't see anyone else around, he decided to make a run for it. He and Blue bolted out from behind the bush, and began running between the rows of trees that made up the customer's banana plantation.

Red: "I didn't know Rockhopper Island had bananas, did you?"

Blue didn't respond; he just sighed and shook his head.

The two chicks kept wandering through the plantation, trying to find some sign of civilization. However, their journey was quickly interrupted:


Someone had laid a trap, and the twins fell right into it. Red and Blue suddenly felt ropes tighten up around their feet. Before they could comprehend what was going on, they were yanked upwards by the ropes, and were hanging upside down.




Two teen-aged penguins emerged from behind the banana trees and hit both Red and Blue with a baseball bat, knocking them both unconscious.

With SIA assistance, Chill, Mario, Bro and Ed had arrived on Rockhopper Island, looking for Red and Blue. The Migrator had set off from Club Penguin some time ago; the group thought it couldn't possibly take too long to make it back to its port of call. After some aimless wandering, the gang began to see some houses appear out of the thick brush.

Chill: "I didn't know there'd be houses on Rockhopper Island."

Mario: "Yeah, everyone always told me that Rockhopper was the only one that lives here!"

Bro: "That's weird, because I'm getting cell service right now. I don't think one lonely pirate would go through that kind of trouble if he lived here alone."

Ed: "Hey guys, look over there! I see a bunch of red puffles coming our way!"

Bro: "This can't be good..."

The four penguins were soon surrounded by a large group of wild red puffles, who were native to the island. However, instead of being attacked, the puffles just jumped and bounced around them joyously, and motioned the four foreigners into following them towards Rockhopper Island's main settlement, "Hopper Town". Upon their arrival at the town square, the curious outsiders were welcomed by Hopper Town's mayor, which happened to be one of Rockhopper's many cousins.

Mayor: "Avast and ahoy, me hearties! What do we have here, some fair mariners from the open sea?"

Chill: "We're looking for two runaway chicks, have you seen any?"

Mayor: "There be many chicks in Hopper Town; there's 70,000 of us here!"

Ed: "Wow, and I always thought Rockhopper Island was basically uninhabited."

Chill: "When was the last time the Migrator landed here?"

Mayor: "The Migrator? Ahh... me cousin Rockhopper set sail many moons ago, and hasn't come back for at least three months!"

Chill, Mario, Bro, and Ed all turned towards each other and just stared in disbelief.

Bro: "So the twins aren't here, is what I'm hearing..."

Mayor: "If they stowed away on the Migrator, I suppose not."

Chill: "Where do you think it went, then?"

Mayor: "Before Rockhopper left, he said he be traveling to.. ehh..."

The mayor pulled out his phone, which had Rockhopper's itinerary on it. It was his job as mayor to keep any outsiders informed if they were curious, apparently.

Mayor: "Let's see... Club Penguin, Dorkugal, Acadia-"

Ed: "Well, they wouldn't go to Acadia."

Bro: "They'd be shot on arrival!"

Mayor: "ANYways... he's also set to sail to Tropicalis, Maverick, Caseusopolis for stinky cheese, and then he was supposed to come back here."

Mario: "Okay then, thanks for the help, mister mayor."

Mayor: "Glad to be of service!"

The four penguins waddled away from the town square until they could find somewhere quiet to converse.

Bro: "I honestly don't care where the kids might be, I've always wanted to visit Tropicalis."

Chill: "It seems like a cool place, but Lavender's gonna have my head on a platter if we don't find them, and soon."

Ed: "How long is his vacation supposed to last?"

Chill: "About a week and a half."

Ed: "And we've been chasing them across Antarctica for how long?"

Mario: "I counted eight days."

Chill: "Then we better think of somewhere to go... hopefully we'll get it right this time."

Red and Blue woke up some time after they had been ambushed. They were dazed and confused, bruised in the backside of their heads, and shackled to a brick wall in the basement of a house. The same two teen-aged penguins who had subdued the twins in the plantation were sitting in chairs across the room, guarding their hostages.

Penguin 1: "Hey, Lexi, they're coming to!"

Penguin 2: "What are we gonna do with them?"

Penguin 1: "I'll go fetch Gill, he'll know what to do..."

Blue: "Ughh... who's Gill? Where are we?"

Red: "Gill sounds like he'd be a rather lame-"

Red's thinking out-loud was rudely interrupted by the slamming of a door; the access hatch to the basement swung open quite loudly, and a curious-looking brown puffle hopped into the cellar to inspect the captive chicks.

Red: "A puffle? Is that the best you've got?"

Blue: "Shut up, Red! You're gonna-"

Gill: "You children aren't going anywhere any time soon. Not just anyone can trespass on the Pie Plantation without some consequences."

Red: "Pie? All I saw out there were bananas..."

Blue: "Shut. Up. Red!"

Gill: "So, what were two little rascals like you doing on our prop-"

"Hey Gill, what's going on down there!? Do I need to settle matters myself!?"

Gill: "No, sir! I think I'll be just fine all by-"

Gill was interrupted by some other figure barging into the basement. He was an old-blue colored penguin, who wore a pair of 3D glasses and a black hoodie. He had rather ruffled hair, and didn't look much like a "sir" at all.

Gill: "...all by myself. Hoo boy, here we go..."

Upon seeing this figure whom Gill called "sir", he couldn't help but chuckle. Even Blue found it a bit funny.

Red: "THIS is who you call sir!?! Oh I'm soooooo sorry for trespassing on your plantation, sir, but-"

Penguin: "SILENCE! I am Feey1 Pie, rightful leader of the exiled Yow Kingdom, and I am now the very successful owner of a banana plantation, I'll have you know!"

Red: "Oh, a king? I can do you one better than-"

Blue elbowed his twin brother before he could get the two into any more trouble. At the same time, another chick came down into the basement. He was also colored blue, although a darker shade. He looked to be about a year older than Red or Blue, and he seemed to carry himself much more professionally than either Feey1 or Gill.

Chick: "Father, may I be left alone with these delinquents for a while by myself?"

Feey1: "Alright, son, just don't do anything too brutal, okay?"

Chick: "Don't worry, I won't."

Feey1 and his puffle Gill left the basement, leaving the three chicks together to, erm... discuss matters.

Blue: "You seem much more put together than your father..."

Red: "Are you an X-Antibody or something?"

Chick: "Don't toy with me, hoodlums! I'm Feey3 Pie, predestined heir to the Yowien Throne! And I demand to know just what you two little punks thought you could accomplish by trying to break on to our plantation."

Red: "Feey3? What happened to the second one?"

Blue: "Red, doesn't that name sound familiar to you? Feey3?"

Feey3: "Red? Hold on a second, you're the hooligan who got into a Chitter war with me, and-"

Red: "And won!"

Feey3: "AND disgraced the honor of the great Yowien Empire! I knew Lavender and the Shoppers would try to take out my father and his legacy, but I didn't think they'd get this desperate, to go as far as to sacrifice his own offspring for his cause..."

Blue: "Hold on, SACRIFICE?"

Feey3: "Standard practice is to allow trespassers to leave for a slight fee or for a few favors, but clearly you two are far too valuable to be written off. I must consult with my father on these matters..."

Feey3 waddled out of the basement for a moment to grab his father. In the brief period they had to themselves, Red and Blue would have to form an escape plan, and fast.

Chapter Four: Diplomacy[edit]

"Wow, what a bunch of dorks!"

"Yeah Chill, it's right in the name."

Chill, Mario, Bro and Ed had just landed in Dorkugal, after having left Rockhopper Island. All four of them were sitting on a park bench, watching the curious population of Dorkugal as if they were a different species. Hopefully they would find Red and Blue here, once and for all.

Mario: "This is the craziest place on the list, of course they'd be here."

Bro: "I'm surprised they let us in, considering Shops Island's relations with Dorkugal."

Ed: "I'm surprised they let the Vice-President in!"

Chill: "They knew that they needed someone cool like me to make up for all the nerds here!"

Having seen enough of the dorks in their natural habitat, the four penguins got up from their park bench and decided to catch a bus to Googolplex, the capital skyscraper of Dorkugal.

Meanwhile, in Maverick, the situation was quite dire.

Blue: "What are we gonna do, Red!? These freaks are gonna KILL us if we don't figure something out!"

Red: "Why are you asking ME? YOU'RE the smart one!"


Feey1 and his son, Feey3, waddled back down to their makeshift dungeon, ready to unceremoniously kill Lavender's chicks. Feey saw it as a fitting revenge for ruining his life, his honor, his country, and trying to fake his death.

Red: "Hold on, is that a KEYSABER!?!?!"

Feey3: "It is indeed, you sniveling little miscreant! Aren't you sooooo excited to see how one feels? Aren't you sooooo excited to pay the price for disgracing my father's honor?"

Feey1: "Which one do you think we should deal with first, son?"

Feey3: "I'm partial to the one with the big mouth."

Blue: "But penguins don't even have- You know what, screw it. I don't know why I bother... Hey, wait a minute!"

Feey1: "The red one? I can get behind that-"

Blue: "Now HOLD ON just a minute! You're telling me that you're just going to kill us while we're tied up and defenseless?"

Feey1: "That was the plan, yes."

Blue: "Well that doesn't sound very honorable if you ask me!"

Feey3: "Are you suggesting you could beat my father in a fight?"

Feey1: "I'll put these two little rascals in their place! I'm a Jedi, after all! Feey3, unhand them at once!"

Feey3 waddled over to Red and Blue and let them out of their shackles. Blue went over to Red and whispered something in his ear.

Blue: "If you want to live, don't say a thing. Okay? Just wait for me to give the signal, then we'll go for it!"

Red: "Okay."

Feey1 got into position on one end of the room, with his ignited keysaber at hand. Red and Blue were positioned against the back wall; it looked like they were cornered, but Blue had a plan. Feey3 was standing at the door to the basement, to ensure that Red and Blue couldn't just scamper off.

Feey1: "I'll be nice and let you two have some feeling of competence before your deaths. You can make the first move."

Red and Blue waddled up to the middle of the room.

Blue: "We've made our move, what have you got?"

Feey1 held his keysaber up high and charged at the two defenseless twins. He moved it into a stabbing position as he ran towards Red and Blue, hoping to kill both in one swift blow. At the last second, Feey1 jumped high up in the air so as to pounce on his opponents.

Blue: "NOW!"

Blue rolled out of the way, and pulled Red off to the side with him. Feey1 landed hard, stabbing his keysaber into the basement floor, and landing on the hilt.

Feey1: "OUCH!"

Blue: "Olé!"

Red and Blue, having successfully stunned Feey1, then went and rushed Feey3. Blue led the way, and tried to simply shove Feey3 out of the way. This didn't work. Stunned, Blue was forced back and stumbled for a moment. Red then came up from behind his brother, running. He jumped up in the air, and kicked Feey3 square in the beak, knocking him out of the way.

Blue: "Alright, let's get out of here!"

The twins raced out of the basement, passing by Feey1's wife Kaylin Pie and two of their chicks, knocking them out of the way. They were stunned by the two chicks coming out of seemingly nowhere. Luckily, Red and Blue were able to rush out of the Pie household before getting caught. As soon as they got outside, however, Red discovered a problem:

Red: "Uhh... Blue?"

Blue: "Yeah?"

Red: "Where do we go now?"

Blue: "Ummm...... How about that big ugly robot thing over there?"

Blue pointed over to a shaded area behind Feey1's house, to reveal one of the last-remaining Penguin Super Suits sitting, ready for action.

Red: "Sounds good to me, let's go!"

The twins opened up the access hatch to the Penguin Super Suit and hopped in. The first thing they noticed was the brazen statement of quality engraved on the dashboard:

This is the biggest, baddest weapon ever!

Blue: "Okay then, we'll see about that!"

Blue pressed the first big green button he saw on the control panel, and luckily, it activated the suit. He then grabbed onto the two central joysticks and lunged them forward. The super suit subsequently began marching forward, and due to its size, created a massive racket.


Red: "They'll catch up to us on foot if this is as fast as this piece of junk goes."

Blue: "Yeah... I wonder what this big red button does."

At the center of the super suit's dashboard, there were two unlabeled red buttons. Blue pushed the one on the right, not knowing what it would do.


The rocket boosters that were installed in the super suit's feet turned on, and the twins were propelled high into the sky. Given that both of them were just stupid chicks, there was plenty of reason to be concerned. After a long time of holding his breath on the matter, Red finally spoke up.

Red: "Uhhhhh.... Blue?"

Blue: "What?"

Red: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

Blue: "No, but it's not like you can leave or anything!"

Red: "Whatever. If you end up killing us, I swear to-"


Suddenly, Red's statement was interrupted by the sound of guns. He spun around inside the super suit's cab to see none other than Feey1 inside his other Penguin Super Suit, in hot pursuit of the two twins.

Red: "Old King 'look-at-me-I-wear-a-hoodie' wants a rematch, eh?"

The Penguin Super Suits were filled to the brim with plenty of the old Yow Kingdom's best guns, missiles, and tracking devices. If Blue was going to outmaneuver Feey1, he'd have to think outside the box.

Red: "Hey Blue, what does that button with the missile on it do?"

Blue: "I dunno, let's find out!"


On the dashboard's small computer screen, a visual display popped up, showing all the possible targets. Red selected the other Penguin Super Suit when it came up. A small missile then launched out of the suit's torso and flew above Red and Blue, then doubling back to hit Feey1's craft.

Red: "Say goodbye, whoever you were!"



Silence. Feey1, having plenty of flight experience inside the super suits, had easily dodged Blue's missile attack, and then launched one of his own at the twins.


Blue: "DRAT! We've been hit! He got us right in the leg, too!"

Feey1 had managed to take out one of the super suit's rocket boosters, throwing it off kilter and sending it into a tailspin towards the ground. If Red and Blue couldn't fix the situation quickly, they would die an immediate death upon crashing into the Antarctic landscape.


Blue: "Calm down, Red! I know what to do!"

Red: "What could that possibly be!?!"

Blue: "In every action movie out there, every airplane always has a big, red "EJECT" button. Maybe that other red button is the ejector switch!"

Blue pressed the other big, red button which was on the dashboard, directly adjacent to the one which activated flight controls. Instead of being immediately catapulted out of the cockpit, however, the onboard computer delivered an ominous message:


Red: "Blue, you idiot!"


Blue: "Hold on, maybe I can-"


Blue: "- figure something ou-"


Suddenly, the cockpit opened up, and the twins were ejected out of the Penguin Super Suit. They had just penetrated back through the clouds, and were rapidly approaching the ground. Both of them clung onto the cockpit's seat for dear life, in sheer panic, until a parachute deployed from the seat and brought Red and Blue safely to the ground.

Red: "Way to go, Blue! You saved us!"

Blue: "Phew... that was too close."


In the distance, the wreck of the Penguin Super Suit crashed to the ground and exploded into a fiery inferno. There was no way for Red and Blue to have survived the crash. Feey1, who was still flying above to ensure that the threat was eliminated, did not see Red and Blue eject from the super suit. He did, however, see the fireball that came from the super suit's crash. Satisfied that he had neutralized the enemy, Feey1 flew back towards Maverick, hoping that he'd dealt a great deal of pain to Lavender.

Red: "Wow, that guy must REALLY hate our dad..."

After having crash landed, Red and Blue waddled towards a nearby city that they could see on the skyline. When they eventually made their way into the city center, they noticed something very peculiar: they couldn't understand anybody!

Red: "Blue, why is everyone here speaking oogity boogity?"

Blue: "We must be in some country that doesn't speak English."

Red: "Gross."

Blue: "This must be that "diversity" stuff that dad was warning us about..."

As Red and Blue waddled around the city, they kept seeing an odd flag they had never seen before, even on all the diplomatic trips with their father. Little did they know that they were actually in the Regiao Lisboaguesa, Lisboagal's capital colony on the Antarctic mainland. The "oogity boogity" that everyone around them was speaking was actually Portuguese.

After many whiles worth of wandering through the crowded streets of the Regiao Lisboguesa's capital city, the twins noticed a peculiar-looking penguin leaving a high-end retail store. He was dressed opulently, with a silk suit, top hat and monocle. He was wearing the clothing of royalty, in spite of waddling the streets like a commoner. Curious, Red and Blue followed him down the cobbled city streets for a while, before noticing that he responded to the jeering of a paparazzo. Most importantly, he responded in English. Clearly this penguin must be very important, or so Red and Blue thought. Hoping that they'd finally found someone who could help them, the twins approached the curious fellow.

Red: "Hey, you! Fancy-looking guy!"

Penguin: "Qué?"

Blue: "Down here!"

The opulent penguin looked down to see the two chicks tugging at his coattails, trying to get his attention.

Penguin: "What do you two gremlins want from me?"

Blue: "We saw you can speak English, can you help us?"

Penguin: "Ah, of course I can speak English! When you're royalty like me, you have to speak the lingua franca!"

Blue: "Royalty?"

Red: "The "link-and-what-now"?"

Penguin: "Ah, yes: I am Dom Dante Piu, Duke of Braga, and rightful King of Lisboagal!"

Red: "Wow, you're a king? Like, the ruler of a country?"

Dante Piu: "Yes, yes indeed I am!"

Blue: "Wooowwww, we've never met one of those before!"

Dante Piu: "I beg your pardon?"

Blue: "If you're' really the king of Lisboagal, then where's your bodyguards?"

Dante Piu: "Uhhhhh..... They're assembled at the main city square, I'm on my way to give a speech right now. You two are free to tag along if you'd like. I can help you with your plight afterwards."

Red: "Oh boy, we get to see the king of Lisboagal in action!"

Red and Blue followed the Duke of Braga to the main city square, where he was met by a large crowd of onlookers and Lisboaguese reporters. The twins got front row seats to the Duke's speech. The "king" of Lisboagal smiled and waved to the television cameras stationed to the back of the crowd, and reveled in the cheers of his supporters.

Lavender and Violet were still vacationing in Albergue Plata, and had just come back from a long day on a private beach, free of prying eyes or curious reporters. Lavender had greatly enjoyed his short stint away from the Triangle Office, and Violet was loving the anonymity she got to experience. Nonetheless, their vacation was soon to end, and they'd have to return to public life as usual.

After having spent a long day out in the sun, Lavender and Violet went to the resort's cream soda cabana bar. It was quiet, so they both nonchalantly ordered pitchers of the pink drink, and sat down at the bar. In the corner of the bar was a television tuned to Westernews. Even though Albergue Plata was a Castillan colony, the news channel was one of the few that the remote colony could tune in to.

Lavender: "Regiao Lisboaguesa... What's happened there, now? Did Swiss Ninja get all trigger-happy again?"

Violet: "I sure hope not..."

The news cameras were all focused on a stage in the capital's main square. The pretender to the Lisboaguese throne, "Dumb" Dante Piu, Duke of Braga, took the stage to the roar of approval from the gathering of Lisboaguese monarchists, and to the jeers of many other onlookers.

Lavender: "Oh boy, not this idiot again..."

Dante Piu: "Obrigado, Obrigado, Thank you all so very much! WOW, this is a big crowd!"

The crowd cheered loudly for the pretender to the throne, enthralled by his populist message.

Dante Piu: "With all this NOISE you're making, maybe those bureaucrats in Lisboa will finally get some sense and help or movement to RESTORE THE LISBOAGUESE MONARCHY!"

Violet: "He'll never learn, will he?"

Lavender: "Not until their PM gets the guts to take him out..."

Dante Piu: "These fancy-cat politicians don't know what's best for us! They've lived their whole lives in school, in offices, in parliament, what makes you think they know YOUR struggles? YOUR issues? YOUR culture? Only someone who LIVES and BREATHES Lisboagal like ME is fit to be King!..."

"...someone who LIVES and BREATHES Lisboagal like ME is fit to be King! I promise ALL of you a brighter, stronger and prouder future if you can stand with me to help restore the monarchy!"

Red and Blue were quite confused about this speech. Why would the king of Lisboagal be trying to convince his subjects to make him king?

Red: "This doesn't make any sense..."

Blue: "Yeah, if he was really king, why would he have to-"


Dante Piu: "What was that? I beg pardon?"

Suddenly, a curious-looking penguin rushed the stage, and pushed the "Duke" of Braga off to the side.

Scrubbypingu: "I am Scrubbypingu, and I should be king of Lisboagal! That's a fact!"

Dante Piu: "No, you aren't! That's not a fact, you're just a hooligan trying to disturb my speech!"

Scrubbypingu: "THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

Scrubbypingu ran off the stage, as he was not king of Lisboagal. This is a fact. Scrubbypingu is afraid of facts. Red was quite amused by how the Duke of Braga's speech was going so horribly wrong, so he gestured to his brother with an idea:

Red: "Guess what, Blue?"

Blue: "What?"

Red: "If some weirdo in a propeller cap can rush the stage and expose this poser, why can't we?"

Blue: "Red, I don't think that's a very- AAGH!"

Red grabbed Blue by his wing and dragged him up on the stage, where he seized the microphone, and proceeded to very publicly lambast Dante Piu for lying to them.

"You liar! You told us you were the real king of this country! Shame on you, and shame on all these fools for believing you!"

Lavender and Violet were still watching the live newsfeed from the bar, and they were floored to see their two twins making a scene out of a sensitive political issue in a foreign country.

Violet: "That can't be-"

Lavender: "How did they even-"

Violet: "Philip, you told me the chicks were in GOOD FLIPPERS with Chill! You didn't tell me they'd wind up on the other side of the continent!"

Lavender: "They'll be fine, sweetie. I'll get to the bottom of this."

The president got up from his seat at the bar, and threw a couple coins at the bartender before storming out of the bar. Waiting outside was a member of his security detail, ready to escort him to his room.

Lavender: "Get Chill on the line. NOW."

Bodyguard: "Yes, sir."

Chill, Mario, Bro and Ed were still strolling around the capital skyscraper of Googolplex in Dorkugal. They were in the restaurant district of the mega-complex, looking for a bite to eat.

Bro: "Do you think they have burgers here?"

Ed: "I don't know, all I'm seeing is a bunch of restaurants with cheesy, unappetizing, un-descriptive names..."

"Bits and Bytes"...

"The Top-Tier Server"...

"Veggie Emporium"...

Chill: "Yeah, the BOF has really dropped the ball lately on naming stuff."

Bro: "The what?"

Chill: "Oh, never mind. scrub"

The four penguins continued to stroll throughout Googolplex, trying to find a place to eat. They didn't want any exotic food, they wanted something simple and civilized-

Chill: "-Like Pop Tarts!"

...Yes, like Pop Tarts. ANYway, the four penguins were unfortunately unable to find something that they could all agree upon. Just as they were about to give up, however, reality struck.

Chill and his friends seemed to conveniently forget that he was still acting president of Shops Island in Lavender's absence. The media had finally managed to track the gang down, and Chill was quickly cornered by reporters and correspondents trying to get his comments on the latest political crisis that was unfolding. Luckily, Bro, Mario and Ed were able to slip into an internet cafe (although let's be fair, all cafes in Dorkugal are internet cafes) before they could be spotted.

Reporter: "MISTER VICE-PRESIDENT! What do you have to say about the unfolding situation in Acadia?!"

Chill: "I... uhh...."

Reporter: "Apparently an Ed Islandian hockey player has been arrested by the Acadian police. What is the Shopper government doing about the situation?"

Chill: "We're... umm... exploring all possible resolutions to the issue at this point in time. Thank-"

bzzzzzzzzt bzzzzzzzzzt bzzzzzzzzzzt

At the worst possible time, Chill's phone began to ring in his pocket. It was Lavender, phoning to figure out exactly why Red and Blue were caught on camera in Lisboaguese Antarctica. Chill pulled out his phone to see who was calling. "the prez" showed up as the contact; Chill know he was clearly in big trouble.

Chill: "Hey guys, I gotta take this phone call. Thanks for your time, guys! Waddle on!"

Chill rushed into the internet cafe where his friends were. The media, however, wasn't satisfied, and began fervently shouting and taking paparazzi photographs, hoping to get someone to come outside and talk to them.

Chill: "Lavender's calling me!"

Ed: "That's not good."

Chill: "I need one of you guys to go out there and cover for me so they don't come in here and mess everything up!"

Ed: "Not me, I'm not a politician."

Mario: "Not me, I'm dead!"

All three of them looked at Bro, who really didn't have an excuse. He just sighed, and accepted his fate.

Bro: "FINE, I'll go talk to them. You guys owe me a big one, though."

Bro sadly stepped outside of the internet cafe, and the media went crazy. They tore him apart, interrogating as to why exactly an ex-president was on a trip with the incumbent, whether or not he'd known about Hockey Manlet's arrest, and so on. Luckily, the media was distracted enough by Bro that Chill could take his phone call in relative peace.

Chill (COMM): "Hello?"

Lavender (COMM): "CHILL, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT! I gave you ONE job, to look after my chicks and - wait... I gave you TWO jobs, to look after my chicks, and to look after my country! Is that too much for you to handle?!?!?"

Chill (COMM): "What do you mean, Lavender? They haven't left my sight!"

Lavender (COMM): "Then why exactly did I just see both of them up on a stage, on LIVE TELEVISION, in the Regiao Lisboaguesa?!?"

Chill (COMM): "uhhhh...."

Chill put his flipper over the phone's speaker, and turned to Mario and Ed.

Chill: "Apparently Red and Blue are in some place called "Ragoo Lasagana" or something, guys."

Mario: "The what?"

Ed: "I don't know, but we should probably look it up."

Lavender (COMM): "Chill? You still there? Don't be a coward and hang up on me!"

Chill (COMM): "Yeah, Lavender. Of COURSE you saw Red and Blue on TV, I let them go up on that stage after they asked. How much trouble can they really cause?"

Lavender (COMM): "They were on TV with the pretender to the Liaboaguese throne! Don't you know how bad that looks on us??!?"

Chill (COMM): "Hey, I can't control everything, I just-"

Mario and Ed: "bzzkt! brrrt! grrrr! bzzzzt! zzzzzap!"

Chill (COMM): "Oh no, Lavender, I think I'm-"

Mario and Ed: "zzzzap! snnaaaaaap! bzzzzzzzt! crrrrrrraccccck! ppppopppp!"

Chill (COMM): "I think i'm losing signal, Lavender, I'll have to call you back later!"

Lavender (COMM): "You tool! Don't hang-"


Chill: "Too late! Thanks guys, you saved my bacon there."

Ed: "I just looked it up on my EPF Phone, do you think Lavender was talking about the Regiao Lisboaguesa?"

Chill: "Yeah, that's it! That means we can get out of this nerd paradise just as soon as Bro's done getting torn apart out there."

Mario: "We're going to owe LMGT big time for all the flights he's arranging for us..."

Chapter Five: Bring Our Boys Home![edit]

After having publicly made a fool out of Dante Piu, the pretender to the Liaboaguese throne on live television, Red and Blue hopped back into the streets of the city and continued to wander about. Luckily for them, their generic appearances didn't draw much attention.

Red: "I can't believe that guy would lie to all of us like that."

Blue: "Yeah, I thought politicians were supposed to be honest, like dad! He told me that he always tells the truth."

Red: "You know, this place is actually kinda boring. Let's go somewhere fun!"

Blue: "Agreed. There's too much ooga booga here."

Red and Blue waddled into a convenience store that sat on the old city's cobbled streets. They grabbed a tourist map out of the large selection that was available and opened it up.

Red: "Can you read, Blue?"

Blue: "Kinda."

Red: "Good, because I can't."

Blue read the map as carefully as he could, butchering the pronunciation of half the words in there as he was still an uneducated chick. After a few moments, he gave up and instead brought it up to the store clerk for help.

Blue: "Hey, you!"

Clerk: "Yes?"

Blue: "This place is boring! Is there anywhere else nearby we can go visit?"

Clerk: "Frostize isn't too far away. All you have to do is go to the port and hop on a ferry and it'll take you there."

Blue: "Okay, thanks! Let's go, Red."

Red and Blue began to waddle out of the store, but were promptly stopped by the clerk.

Clerk: "You guys know you have to pay for that map, right?"

Red: "Oh... uhhhh... right."

Red and Blue, having little understanding of the concept of currency, and having no money on them, were stunned for a moment. After a brief pause of confusion, Red took a half-eaten Pop Tart out of his inventory and gave it to the clerk. Before they could get a response, the twins rushed out of the store and headed towards the port terminal.

Blue: "That's not the Pop Tart Chill gave you back at his place, is it?"

Red: "Is that a problem?"

Blue: "No, it's just weird..."

Chill, Mario, Bro and Ed were on board a SIA Transport Jet, sent specifically for them by LMGT as one last favor.

Bro: "I hate all of you."

Mario: "Woah, that was completely uncalled for!"

Bro: "I've always hated press conferences. They're crude, and gross, and they get lies everywhere."

Ed: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Bro's ranting was rudely interrupted by the aircraft's pilot, who started bellowing directions to his VIP passengers over the intercom.

Pilot: "All right, guys: The military isn't allowed to land in Lisboaguese territory, so the closest place I can drop you off in is Frostize. It's not too far away from your destination; just catch a bus or something when you get there."

Chill: "Frostize?"

Mario: "10/10 for original naming, guys!"

Ed: "Why does everything around here seem to have "peng", "snow", "ice", or "frost" in their names?"

Mario: "Imagine being that bad, naming everything after the most basic traits of your surroundings..."

Pilot: "We're about to begin our final descent into Frostize, folks. Please fasten your seat belts; you should be on the ground in about ten minutes."

Red and Blue had just awoken from a quick nap aboard the ferry to Frostize. Both of them groggily waddled up to the poop deck-

Red: "Heheheh... poop deck...."

While Red was having fun being an immature little brat, Blue was looking out in the distance, and couldn't help but notice that there was a very distinct difference between Frostize and everywhere else they'd visited thus far:

Blue: "I don't see any roads or cars! What kind of weird place is this?"

Passenger: "Ah, you see, Frostize is a very special place! It's built on unstable ground, so they couldn't build roads. So instead, they built canals!"

Blue: "Hey, that's pretty neat."

Red: "Does that mean we have to swim everywhere?"

Passenger: "No, no... there are small boats that everyone takes to move around the city, they're called gondolas!"

Red: "Sounds lame and cheesy."

Blue: "Yeah... If it were up to me we'd all be riding jet-skis!"

As the ferry pulled into port, Red and Blue were anxious to get off as quickly as possible and explore. The first order of business was to find a place that sold jet-skis, obviously.

"This place is weird and out-of-date! Why aren't there any motorboats or cars?"

Ed: "Bro, can't you ever appreciate anything different?"

Bro: "If I embraced diversity instead of fighting it at every turn, then what would be left of me? Nothing, that's what!"

Chill: "Hey guys, maybe we should figure out how to catch these two chicks instead of acting like them?"

Bro: "But where's the fun in that?"

Chill: "There's no fun when Lavender finds out that we lost his chicks and puts our heads on a-"


Chill: "Oh boy, I hope this isn't him..."


Chill grabbed his phone and turned it on, to see who was calling. To his surprise, it wasn't "the prez" this time, but rather a "Blocked Number".

Chill (COMM): "Hello there?"

??? (COMM): "Mister Vice-President, do you have a moment?"

Chill (COMM): "Yes, who is this? Is this some sort of prank call?"

??? (COMM): "No, sir, this is not a prank. This is Agent Jeff of the SIA. Director LMGT has instructed me to inform you of some high-level intelligence. Are you in a safe and secure location, with no potential leakers?"

Chill looked around him. He was in the middle of a very public square, with his three friends standing by his side. But meh, what could possibly go wrong?

"Yes, I'm alone."

??? (COMM): "Our field agents in the AU division have reportedly spotted the President's chicks on a ferry inbound to Frostize... aren't you supposed to be taking care of them, sir?"

Chill (COMM): "UHHHHH..... that's classified."

??? (COMM): "It's a very serious issue, Mister Vice-President, the SIA really should-"

Chill (COMM): "This conversation is over. Buh-bye!"


Chill: "Whew, that was a close one!"

Ed: "ghg"

Mario: "ghg"

Bro: "Who was that?"

Chill: "SIA. They said that Red and Blue were spotted on their way here..."

Ed: "Well, isn't that convenient?"

"What do you mean it costs 15,000 coins?!? It can't possibly be that valuable!"

Red and Blue were standing inside of a jet-ski dealer, trying and failing to heckle the price of a brand-new jet-ski. The dealer was starting to get quite upset with the two twins.

Dealer: "Either buy something or get out of my store, punks."

Blue: "Okay fine, we'll pay your outlandish price."

Red was shocked that his brother would roll over like that. He grabbed his twin by the wing and chastised him.

Red: "What do you think you're doing?! You don't just give up that easily!"

Blue: "Calm down, I have a plan."

Blue reached into his inventory and pulled out a pen and a checkbook that he'd stolen from Lavender when he wasn't looking. He summoned all of his reading and writing skills so that he could write a check for 15,000 coins. After spending an embarrassing amount of time filling it out, so that it would look real, he handed it to the dealer.

Dealer: "Well then... seems legit. I'll go 'round back and grab the keys for you guys. It comes with a quarter tank of gas; there are some fill-up stations not too far down the canal headed westbound."

Blue: "Thank you, sir!"

A few minutes later, Red and Blue had successfully scammed their way into getting a jet-ski. They high-fived as they hopped on and took off down Frostize's canals, looking for something fun to do.

"Chill, this isn't going to work."

"Don't be so broring, Bro! It'll work like a charm!"

Chill, Mario, Bro and Ed had just exited a tech supply store in one of Frostize's main squares. Chill had an idea; he was going to use a drone to fly high above the city and spot the rogue twins, while they sat comfortably in the distance. Chill took the drone out of its box, put a few batteries inside it, and it took off. The drone was equipped with a small camera which relayed a video feed to Chill's phone.

Chill: "See, Bro? This works just-"



Only seconds after the drone took off, it collided with a seagull midair, damaging the device and sending it plummeting back down to earth. It smashed into hundreds of pieces upon hitting the cobblestone plaza.

Bro: "wow bad"

Ed: "wow bad"

Mario: "wow bad"

Chill: "Okay genius, what's your plan to catch Red and Blue?"

Bro: "Ah, it's simple, you see! If you want to catch a rascal, you must think like a rascal!"

Ed: "I've watched a lot of movies, and that logic has never worked under any circumstances."

Bro: "Yes, but you see, Ed, I'm brilliant!"

Ed: "Okay Bro, let's see your "brilliance" in action."

Bro led Chill, Mario and Ed to a thrift store not far from the city square. There, Bro grabbed some pieces of wood, a cardboard box, a string, and a bucket full of candy.

Ed: "You must be joking."

Bro: "Just wait and see my plan in action before you pass judgement, okay?"

Bro took his supplies to a nearby canal, and set up his contraption atop one of the piers there. He propped the box upside down with a piece of wood, which was tied to a string. He put the bucket of candy underneath the box and ran around the corner of a nearby building.

Mario: "I've seen this in every other TV show out there. There's no way this will work. I guarantee it."

Bro: "Leonardo da Waffli was doubted when he made scientific breakthroughs, too! I'll be just like-"


Suddenly, just as Bro was setting his trap, Red and Blue raced right past the gang at full-speed on their newly-acquired jet-ski. Bro, Chill, Mario and Ed were completely stunned.

Chill: "That wasn't..."

Mario: "I think that was them."


The four penguins saw a nearby motorboat and hopped in. Luckily, the owners had left the keys in, and so Bro fired the boat up and set off in hot pursuit of Red and Blue.

Mario: "Was that legal?"

Bro: "Probably not, but I've had enough of chasing these kids all across the continent!"

Ed: "Let's just chase them until they've run out of fuel, they can't be smart enough to have chosen a full jet-ski."

"Good thing we filled this thing up, Red!"

Red was driving the jet-ski as fast as he could through the narrow, shallow canals of Frostize. Bro was driving a boat in hot pursuit, but his large motorboat was far less maneuverable than the twins' tiny watercraft.

Red: "Yeah, this is lots of fun!"

Blue: "Maybe we should slow it down a bit, there might be water cops around here."

Red: "Well, I'M the one driving! You check for cops!"

Blue: "Right."

Blue turned around to make sure there were no police catching on to their little race. However, Blue noticed some peculiar figures following them closely in a motorboat.

Blue: "Uhh... Red?"

Red: "What?"

Blue: "I think Chill and his friends are behind us..."

Red: "DRAT! Gotta go fast!"

Red pulled the jet-ski's throttle as hard as he could, and took it up to top speed. Chill and his friends sped up in their speedboat, and were able to keep pace. Soon, both vehicles had broken free of the tight canals of Frostize, and they were now jetting about the open water.


Blue: "Yeah, those suckers will never-"


Red had briefly stopped paying attention to what was in front of him. He didn't notice that he was about to drive head-first into a flock of ducks. In a knee-jerk response, he pulled hard to the left and ended up crashing his jet-ski.


Red and Blue were catapulted off their jet-ski and into the ocean.

Bro: "Woah, look at that!"

Chill: "I knew Red was crazy, but WOW!"

Bro: "Ed, Mario, grab two fishing nets and get ready as I pull alongside!"

Bro pulled back hard on the motorboat's throttle and took it down to trolling speed. Ed and Mario sat on either side of the boat with fishing nets in hand. Red and Blue were both floating among the debris, dazed and confused, as they could feel themselves being lifted out of the water.

Red: "I HATE ducks..."

Blue: "Drats, foiled again!..."

Chill sat at the front of the boat and watched gleefully as the twins were pulled aboard and restrained.

Chill: "Gooooooooood.... I've waited a loooong time for this, my little red and blue friends."

Epilogue: Adventure? What Adventure?[edit]

After having finally been captured, Red and Blue were brought back to Shops City by Chill. Mario and Ed went back to Chill Island to continue on with their lives as usual; Ed went back to operating the Meme Machine, and Mario went back to being technically dead. Bro was dropped off back at his house en-route to Shops City.

As Chill was anticipating Lavender and Violet's return, he brought the twins to the President's Residence in Shops City Square. Soon after, agents for Lavender's security detail started to swarm the residence to secure the location. Lavender and Violet followed closely behind. As they entered the residence, they were both overjoyed to see their chicks once again at last.

Violet: "Get over here, my favorite little hatchlings! I've missed you both so much!"

Both Red and Blue ran into their mother's wings, and she embraced them strongly, for they had not seen each other for over two weeks. Lavender stood back and grabbed Chill by the shoulder.

Lavender: "Let's go in another room while the chicks get reacquainted, shall we?"

The president and vice-president strolled over to the Triangle Office, where their conversation continued in private.

Lavender: "Really is something, isn't it?"

Chill: "What's something?"

Lavender: "It doesn't matter where you take them or what you do with them, they'll ALWAYS find a way to get in trouble."

Chill chucked: "Yes... yes they do."

Lavender: "I'm surprised you haven't gone gray. I know I would if I had to spend two straight weeks with them. I don't know how you did it, Chill."

Chill: "It was hard, but luckily I managed! I even had some help from my friend Ed when I got busy."

Lavender: "Ah yes... The Ed. I've heard many good things about him."

Chill: "He can come in really handy when the chicks became too much."

Lavender: "Well, they're a handful. I just want to thank you again, Chill for handling the situation while I was gone. You've done a terrific job."

Chill: "Glad to be of service."

Violet, having been reacquainted with her chicks, brought them to their bedroom and tucked them into their bunk beds. However, they were still stimulated and processing everything they had seen and done over the past few weeks.

Blue: "Red, are you still up?"

Red: "Yeah, what is it?"

Blue: "We did a lot on this trip and we saw a lot of things... do you think there's anything to learn from all of this?"

Red: "No, not really."

Blue: "After all that? No overarching moral? No Aesop to fall back upon?"

Red: "Nope. It's late, Blue, let's get some sleep."

Blue: "Alright... g'night, Red."

"It's funny, isn't it, Chill? I moan and complain about all the terrible stuff happening in Acadia for years on end but nobody listened! Then, all of a sudden, one random hockey player comes out of nowhere and blows the lid on everything! It's absolutely remarkable."

Chill: "Yeah, just imagine what would've happened if I'd taken Red and Blue there!"

Lavender: "I'd rather not imagine; they'd probably be shot on arrival!"

Chill: "My thoughts exactly."

Lavender: "This "Hockey Manlet" seems like a pretty cool dude. I wonder what he has to say about all of this."

Chill: "Huh, funny you say that..."

Hockey Manlet
Wouldn't it be funny if Brant got impeached and then had to get a job making orange juice
21 November 2018

Lavender: "I don't know what's going to happen in the near future, Chill, but it's going to be interesting. VERY interesting indeed."