The Ed

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The Ed

Ed in his EPF uniform
Born August 4, 1995 (1995-08-04) (age 23)
ColonialAntarcticaFlag.png Colonial Antarctica
Residence ChillIslandFlag.png Chill Island
Nationality Shopper-Antarctican
Ethnicity Adelie Penguin
Citizenship ShopsIslandFlag2013.png Shops Island
Occupation Meme Machine operator, EPF Agent
Known for Being chosen by the Meme Machine

Speaker.png Click here to listen to The Ed's theme!


What the shenanigans is going on?!
 
— Ed

The Ed (1995- ) is a blue adelie penguin living on Chill Island. Despite his full name being The Ed, the "the" is silent. He was specifically chosen to operate the island's Meme Machine, producing meme energy to be used for many purposes around the island.

Ed occasionally gets into shenanigans across Antarctica, sometimes involving Club Penguin and its celebrities. These include beating Cadence in a dance-off due to a minor technicality, accidentally suggesting the recycling center be replaced with a school, and on more than one occasion siphoning gasoline from the Hydro Hopper boat in order to give his Card-Jitsu hot sauce extra range.

Personal Life[edit]

Early Life[edit]

The first few years of Ed's life were boring and uneventful, much like Colonial Antarctica where he resided. As a chick, Ed often played with undetonated mines from the STINC War and tried to blow up as many as possible.

Club Penguin[edit]

When Club Penguin Island was opened in 2006, he soon moved there and became friends with several of the island's personalities. In 2009, Ed played the part of Tate the Migrator in the Stage production of Team Blue vs. Team Red.

Ed became a PSA agent in 2008, and because of his exemplary service was inducted into the Elite Penguin Force in 2009.

At some point during his time on the island, Ed became a Ninja and earned his Ninja Amulet. He only earned his Fire Gem at this time, however, and didn't complete his full amulet until 2018.

Chill Island[edit]

Ed moved to the newly-formed Shops Island in 2011 looking to find new meaning in his otherwise bland life. It was there he met Chill57181, Mario Arkay, and Penquino, who would soon become his best friends on the island. When Chill Island was opened, he moved there as his friend was the mayor and he hoped it would be more exciting than anywhere else in Shops (which it was).

Within a month of moving to Chill Island, the Meme Machine was unearthed. Ed, who was helping with construction, felt the machine "call" to him. He took this as a sign that he was its chosen operator, but when he went to activate it, nothing happened. After several other failed attempts, Ed elected to move it to a safe place while he began his research which lasted several years. Traveling to South Pole City, Ed petitioned for and was granted access to the Big Fat Building O' Archives' East Wing because of his EPF clearance. There he discovered an ancient High Penguin manuscript that mentioned a "magical engine" which required a "journey of the will" to unlock. In his search for what this journey meant, he was inspired by a Ligurian artist who stated that a well-rounded Penguin is an artist, a warrior, and a philosopher. After connecting the two and deeming it necessary to unlock the secrets of the Meme Machine, Ed began his journey to master all three aspects.

In 2017, Ed was contracted by the Gemini EPF branch to help combat LoVE and their villainous ways, due to Ed's experience with mr skeltal. Throughout his missions with the EPF, Ed has uncovered the secrets of the Shadow Ninjas, delayed the Tunneler threat to Antarctica, and returned the legendary sword Excalibur to its rightful owner.

After months of anticipation, Ed finally released his first album. Dab City, Population: (You) was met with critical acclaim and became Chill Island's top selling album, beating out What Tambourine's techno soundtrack for about 8 minutes.

Ed was involved in putting an end to Constantine's plot to defeat Kermit to an unknown extent.

Future[edit]

Shops Civil War[edit]

During the Shops Civil War, Ed deployed on Chill Island with his EPF team at Chill's request in the event that an evacuation would be necessary. Aided by Prepostera, Roger, and Doktor, the four managed to harness the Meme Machine's energy into a force field to protect the island. Their work allowed Chill Island to escape the war relatively unscathed, and it later became an important safe haven for Shopper refugees. He and Roger later attended Bro's funeral soon after the war ended.

Chancellor of the Shops Union[edit]

Ed briefly considered running for Chancellor of the Shops Union upon its founding, although chose against it in order to focus once again on the EPF. When Chancellor Pill stepped down in 2031, Ed changed his mind and entered the political field for the first time in his life. Ed soon began his campaign focusing on his career as an EPF agent, defender of the Meme Machine, and all around cool guy. During his campaign, he received the support of former Chancellor Pill, his best friend Chill, and the majority of Chill Island. He was sworn in as the second chancellor of the Shops Union in February 2032.

When Penstubal was elected president of Moon Island in 2036, Ed was noted on record as saying "not him again."

During Ed's tenure as chancellor, he oversaw the Freezestonia Crisis and established the Jedi Order as official peacekeepers within the union.

Personality[edit]

On a surface level Ed is a very eccentric penguin, occasionally finding himself in trouble due to his antics.

Despite his silliness, Ed is moderately intelligent with a high level of understanding of the Jedi Order and their ways, , and the mythology of the High Penguins and Ninja Archipelago. While not being Force sensitive, he trained under a Jedi in the nature of the living Force and its influence over every being, and learned how to construct and wield a Keysaber during this time.

Ed is also a a capable EPF agent and takes his job somewhat seriously. Additionally, Ed has a disdain for superheroes, claiming that they "do more harm than good" and only "care about the optics" while causing millions of coins worth of collateral damage. This has put him at odds with figures within Antarctican society who wholeheartedly praise these heroes, and nearly getting himself kicked out of the EPF in the process.

Ed has no political ambitions despite his friendship with several of Shops Island's notable politicians. Instead, he prefers the much simpler job of EPF agent and says politics are for nerds.

Apparel[edit]

Unlike some other penguins, Ed does not rotate his wardrobe very often. He also does not wear many clothing items, preferring to dress in simple outfits.

When on duty, Ed wears the Gemini EPF branch's standard EPF Suit, and after his interdimensional travels began making use of an Ed Islandian hazard suit taken from an underground laboratory.

In more casual settings, Ed wears his Leather Pilots Jacket and occasionally a pair of Delta Sneaks.

Abilities[edit]

Personal Life[edit]

Hobbies[edit]

Pets[edit]

  • Slushy - Ed's only puffle, adopted in 2009 and has stuck with him ever since.

Involvement[edit]

Ed's primary job is operator of the Meme Machine, a strange zamboni-like vehicle that generates memetic energy. Because of his spiritual journey in order to activate the Meme Machine, Ed did not participate in many of the adventures that his friends did.

Beginning in 2017, Ed became a full-time EPF agent in Gemini, leading him to lock up the Meme Machine in his garage for safekeeping. While primarily tasked with thwarting the evil deeds of LoVE, Ed also aides the local law enforcement in cleaning up the city's streets of crime. He was named the overall "EPF Top Agent 2018" for these deeds.

Additionally, Ed occasionally performs as Bro's replacement in The KD Band after Bro was deemed "too broring" by Chill for refusing to participate in the revival.

Relationships[edit]

Good[edit]

  • Bro -
  • Chill57181 - Chill and Ed have been friends ever since Ed moved to Shops Island in 2011.
  • Hat Pop -
  • Kermit - Ed is arguably Kermit's biggest fan in Antarctica, and received not one but three of his autographs.
  • Lavender -
  • Mario Rk - Mario was introduced to Ed by Chill, and the two naturally became friends. After Ed's own experiences with the Multiverse, he has greatly appreciated Mario's role as a Hopper.
  • Mike - While originally accusing Mike of being a Kermit wannabe, he later befriended the potential alien.
  • Penquino - The two quickly became friends early on, and on multiple occasions Ed has debated the nature of the Jedi and Force with Penquino.
  • Perfekta - Ed first met Janie after a botched EPF mission in Gemini, and the two have grown their relationship ever since.
  • Professor Prepostera - Prepostera is often annoyed by Ed calling him an egghead.
  • Roger - Dug up on Chill Island's beach after other War Bots were found washed up, Roger was taken to Ed's home and repaired. He is now a friend of Ed's and guards the Meme Machine when Ed isn't home.
  • Snowman 1001 -
  • Snowstormer -

Neutral[edit]

  • Hockey Manlet - Ed holds a lot of respect for the pro athlete despite never meeting him in person.
  • Evil Jeff - Despite being an evil member of LoVE, Ed has made plans with Jeff to collaborate on "Distant Egg Song."

Bad[edit]

  • Carl the Fry Thief - Carl is regarded by Ed as one of the most devious penguins in all of Antarctica due to his crimes.
  • mr skeltal - Despite being sworn enemies, Ed has claimed that he enjoys all of their shenanigans.
  • Mister Bones - On the other hand, he regards Mister Bones as pure evil.
  • Penstubal - On more than one occasion Penstubal has mixed up Ed with EDFan12345 when ranting about Ed Island, despite the two having almost no similarities. Ed states that he has never actually met Penstubal in person, despite his claims that Ed pranks him constantly.
  • Scrubbypingu - For seemingly no reason, Scrubbypingu made up slanderous statements about Ed while refusing to give any evidence supporting them, stating they were "true because I say so."
  • WATuDOIN -
  • What Tambourine - When Ed respectfully asked to turn down his techno music so he could sleep, What responded by blasting Ed at full volume.

Trivia[edit]

  • Ed formerly lived in the Mario's Fryz basement, but moved into his own house after the events of Kermitity War. He also owns an igloo on Club Penguin and an apartment in Gemini.
  • There were rumors Ed is planning on producing a hit song named "Distant Egg Song", which were confirmed when the song was included in Dab City.
  • Ed's feathers are colored Old Blue and he refuses to tell anyone how he got the color.
  • One of Ed's most prized possessions is a stuffed Kermit puppet that he takes great care of. He claims that it comes to life when the moon is full to indulge in some orange juice, but few believe him.
  • Ed was once "accidentally" banned from Acadia, but the ban was soon lifted due to international criticism, with the Acadian Ministry of the Interior releasing a statement claiming that it was a "mistake".

Discography[edit]

Title Details Songs included Peak chart positions
USA CP Shops
Dab City, Population: (You)
  • Released: October 13, 2018
  • Genre: Indie
  • Label: Chill Island Productions
  • Format: CD, digital download
  • Dab City
  • Distant Egg Song
  • Penguin Growth Hormone
  • Safety Jeff Song (ft. Evil Jeff)
  • (You)

Chronology[edit]

  • 1500s
  • Excalibur (Past)
  • 2013
  • Journey of the Will
  • 2017
  • 2018

Gallery[edit]

Quotes[edit]

  • "You have to eat all the eggs."
  • "tbh smh fam"
  • "Intense daberoni."

See also[edit]