The Ed

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The Ed
The Ed
Ed's official EPF portrait
General
Alias "Sir Prize", Aleph
Born August 4, 1995 (1995-08-04) (age 23)
ColonialAntarcticaFlag.png Colonial Antarctica
Characteristics
Species Penguin
Race Adelie Penguin
Gender Male
Faction
Residence ChillIslandFlag.png Chill Island
Antilles Flag.png Antilles
Citizenship ShopsIslandFlag2013.png Shops Island
USA flag.PNG United States of Antarctica
Nationality Shopper-Antarctican
Profession
Occupation EPF Agent
Meme Machine Operator

Speaker.png Click here to listen to The Ed's theme!

What the shenanigans is going on?!
 
— Ed

The Ed (1995- ) is a blue adelie penguin living on Chill Island. Despite his full name being The Ed, the "the" is silent. Ed is known for being the operator of the Meme Machine, producing energy to be used for many purposes around the island.

Ed occasionally gets into shenanigans across Antarctica, sometimes involving Club Penguin and its celebrities. These include beating Cadence in a dance-off due to a minor technicality, accidentally suggesting the recycling center be replaced with a school, and on more than one occasion siphoning gasoline from the Hydro Hopper boat in order to give his Card-Jitsu hot sauce extra range.

Biography[edit]

Early Life[edit]

The first few years of Ed's life were boring and uneventful, much like Colonial Antarctica where he resided. As a chick, Ed often played with undetonated mines from the STINC War and tried to blow up as many as possible.

Club Penguin[edit]

When Club Penguin Island was opened in 2005, he soon moved there and became friends with several of the island's personalities. Ed received a Beta Hat at this time, but eventually anonymously donated it to the International Party Hat Museum.

Ed became a PSA agent in 2007, and because of his exemplary service was inducted into the Elite Penguin Force in 2009. Ed also played the part of Tate the Migrator in the Stage production of Team Blue vs. Team Red at this time, something which embarrasses him to this day.

At some point during his time on the island, Ed became a Ninja and earned his Ninja Amulet. He only earned his Fire Gem at this time, however, and didn't complete his full amulet until 2018.

Ed despises Club Penguin tour guides despite passing the exam to become one and receiving a hat for it. Stemming from an incident involving a crazy tour guide shouting random facts at him for an entire week, he makes a point to throw snowballs at any penguin he sees giving a tour around the island.

Chill Island[edit]

Ed moved to the newly-formed Shops Island in 2011 looking to find new meaning in his otherwise bland life. It was there he met Chill57181, Mario Arkay, and Penquino, who would soon become his best friends on the island. When Chill Island was opened, he moved there as his friend was the mayor and he hoped it would be more exciting than anywhere else in Shops (which it was).

Within a month of moving to Chill Island, the Meme Machine was unearthed. Ed, who was helping with construction at the time, felt the machine "call" to him as he felt a strange connection to it. He took this as a sign that he was its chosen operator, but nothing happened when he went to activate it when he went to activate it. After several other failed attempts, Ed elected to move it to a safe place while he began his research which lasted several years. Traveling to South Pole City, Ed petitioned for and was granted access to the Big Fat Building O' Archives' East Wing because of his EPF clearance. There he discovered an ancient High Penguin manuscript that mentioned a "furnace" which required a "journey of the will" to unlock. In his search for what this journey meant, he was inspired by a High Penguin proverb that described a group known as the Whills who valued combat, philosophy, and art. After connecting the two and deeming it necessary to unlock the secrets of the Meme Machine, Ed began his journey to master all three aspects.

Not knowing where to start, Ed traveled back to Club Penguin and spoke with Sensei for guidance. While himself only offering a few words of wisdom, he told Ed of a mystic living on Portal Island at the peak of Mt. Verns said to be familiar with ancient teachings. Sensei also gave Ed a pendant with a strange symbol on it, saying the mystic would know what it meant. Staying on Club Penguin for a short time to participate in that year's Puffle Party, he later took a ferry from the Dock to Portal Island where he began searching for this supposed mystic.

The Meme Machine finally activated in 2015, although unbeknownst to Ed it was due to the Energy Gem relocating itself after the events of the Nightmare Epic.

EPF Adventures[edit]

Ed's EPF Phone icon

In 2017, Ed was contracted by the Antilles EPF branch to help combat LoVE and their villainous ways, due to Ed's experience with mr skeltal. Throughout his missions with the EPF, Ed has uncovered the secrets of the Shadow Ninjas, delayed the Tunneler threat to Antarctica, and returned the legendary sword Excalibur to its rightful owner.

Following months of anticipation, Ed finally released his first album in 2018. Dab City, Population: (You) was met with critical acclaim and became Chill Island's top selling album, beating out What Tambourine's techno soundtrack for about 8 minutes.

After becoming aware of the growing villain collective throughout Antarctica, Ed was directly involved in addressing the threat.

After his escapades chasing a pair of chicks across the continent, Ed returned to Antilles where he continued to chase several of the villains plaguing the city. While on the scene of a bank robbery, he witnessed a pair of superheroes known as General Gluon and The Gentleman apprehend the criminals while causing tens of thousands of coins worth of collateral damage. His resulting outburst directed at these heroes caused a scene and was an embarrassment for the EPF who officially supported superheroes and their activities in the city. Ed was temporarily suspended from the EPF until he could calm down and learn to at least tolerate superheroes. While at his favorite cafe, he witnessed a businessman have his suitcase full of coins stolen by a masked individual, and gave chase even though he was suspended from duty. After a short chase, he came face-to-face with the thief who turned out to be a low-level villainess named Perfekta. She managed to escape Ed's cold flipper of justice, but not before giving him a wink and telling him that she'd be in touch.

Ed and Perfekta would later be caught in the middle of a conspiracy involving these superheroes and their efforts to cover up their true selfish nature. When arguing with Perfekta after discovering she was at the scene of the outburst that led to his suspension, the two were confronted by General Gluon who realized Ed's discovery could mean an investigation into the heroes. The two narrowly escaped the superhero, but not before losing any evidence of the encounter. After breaking into the EPF Tower to meet with Professor Terrible and traveling to Crookharbor to find new evidence, Ed would later go on to clear his name and expose the heroes' true nature to Antilles, shaming them forever and getting them kicked out of the city.

After a string of heists involving advanced technology throughout Antilles, Ed would be key in uncovering the secrets of the Multiverse while seemingly ending Zero's threat to Antarctica.

Ed was involved in putting an end to Constantine's plot to defeat Kermit to an unknown extent and would later be present for the grand opening of Achadia. While the Meme Machine was destroyed by Constantine, its remains were still powerful even without the Destruction Gem. Ed ultimately repaired the Meme Machine, but rarely used it after seeing the true power of the Gems.

Shortly after the events of Kermitity War and his experience in the Multiverse, Ed took a long vacation from the EPF and traveled to the newly-opened Achadia with his friends. After the brief adventure, Ed returned to the Jedi Redoubt. During this time he discovered a sealed portion of the temple that was formerly used by Veil Society and filled with a number of powerful artifacts. Due to witnessing firsthand the power of the Kermitity Gauntlet (of which he was currently in possession of), Ed made it his mission to safeguard any extraordinarily powerful artifacts or arcane weapons to prevent them from falling into the wrong hands.

For his birthday in 2019, Ed participated in the first Roast of The Ed. Despite the intention of it being good hearted fun, the event was secretly taken over by Dr. Screwball who manipulated all of his friends into saying genuinely hurtful things. Ed would later go on to save his friends by breaking the mind control and capturing Screwball.

Future[edit]

Shops Civil War[edit]

During the Shops Civil War, Ed deployed on Chill Island with his EPF team at Chill's request in the event that an evacuation would be necessary. Aided by Prepostera, Roger, and Doktor, the four managed to harness the Meme Machine's energy into a force field to protect the island. Their work allowed Chill Island to escape the war relatively unscathed, and it later became an important safe haven for Shopper refugees. He and Roger later attended Bro's funeral soon after the war ended.

Chancellor of the Shops Union[edit]

Ed briefly considered running for Chancellor of the Shops Union upon its founding, although chose against it in order to focus once again on the EPF. When Chancellor Pill stepped down in 2031, Ed changed his mind and entered the political field for the first time in his life. Ed soon began his campaign focusing on his career as an EPF agent, defender of the Meme Machine, and all around cool guy. During his campaign he received the support of former Chancellor Pill, his best friend Chill, and the majority of Chill Island and Freezestonia. He was sworn in as the second chancellor of the Shops Union on February 22, 2032.

When Penstubal was elected president of Moon Island in 2036, Ed was noted on record as saying "not him again."

During Ed's tenure as chancellor, he oversaw the Freezestonia Crisis and established the Jedi Order as official peacekeepers within the union. He also admitted Buhu Isle into the Union and signed several treaties and agreements with the allied Bridgestadt Pact. Ed's administration would last until he announced his resignation in 2040, despite many calls by Penstubal for him to resign over the years for various wild and false reasons.

Ed seemingly disappeared from Antarctica after his resignation with not even his family knowing his location. He left a number of cryptic clues towards his destination, encouraging anyone who could find it to follow.

Personality[edit]

On a surface level Ed is a very eccentric penguin, occasionally finding himself in trouble due to his antics.

Despite his silliness, Ed is moderately intelligent with a level of understanding of the Jedi and the mythology of the High Penguins and Ninja Archipelago. While not being Force sensitive, he was taught the nature of the living Force and its influence over every being under a Jedi and learned how to construct and wield a Keysaber during this time.

Ed is also a a capable EPF agent and takes his job somewhat seriously. Additionally, Ed has a disdain for superheroes, claiming that they "do more harm than good" and only "care about the optics" while causing millions of coins worth of collateral damage. This has put him at odds with figures within Antarctican society who wholeheartedly praise these heroes, and nearly getting himself kicked out of the EPF in the process.

Ed has no political ambitions despite his friendship with several of Shops Island's notable politicians. Instead, he prefers the much simpler job of EPF agent and says politics are for nerds. Ed generally despises most Generic Politicians due to their annoying stuck-up personalities, regardless of country or political affiliation.

Apparel[edit]

Unlike some other penguins, Ed does not rotate his wardrobe very often. He also does not wear many clothing items, preferring to dress in simple outfits.
Ed when not on duty

When on duty, Ed wears the Antilles EPF branch's standard EPF Suit, and after his interdimensional travels began making use of an Ed Islandian hazard suit taken from an underground laboratory.

In more casual settings, Ed wears his Leather Pilots Jacket and occasionally a pair of Delta Sneaks. He doesn't typically wear a wig or hat, but does don a pair of Aviator Sunglasses when riding the Meme Machine.

Equipment[edit]

  • EPF Spy Phone - The Antilles EPF spy phone closer resembles the 2010 model spy phone rather than the 2013 model. Ed has tested its durability on numerous occasions, the least of which include dropping it off the top of the EPF Tower.
  • Spy Gadget - While no longer used by the EPF, Ed kept his Spy Gadget as it has several useful features that the newer spy phone does not.
  • EPF Laser - A small standard-issue EPF laser pistol, used to stun criminals. Ed sometimes yells "zap!" when he fires it.
  • Keysaber - Ed's keysaber was constructed by him on Portal Island out of a bin of spare parts in the redoubt. Originally a white lightsaber with a crystal core, he later replaced its plasma dampeners and blade projector to convert it to a keysaber. While not as finely tuned as a Jedi keysaber constructed using the Force, Ed's is still of a higher quality than most mass-produced models.
  • Hazard Suit - An Ed Laboratories standard Mark V Hazard Suit. Later upgraded by Doktor, it features CBN protection and electrically-hardened armor plating.

Abilities[edit]

Ed is a skilled mechanic, owing to his EPF training. He is capable of fixing hoverbikes and computer systems with relative ease, and put these skills to work operating on Roger and the Meme Machine. Similarly, Ed is a licensed pilot and can fly hoverbikes, helicopters, and Jedi Delta and Actis fighters.

Personal Life[edit]

Hobbies[edit]

Ed is an amateur musician and can play the guitar well enough to perform with The KD Band.

Ed is a fan of Armo, and dedicates an entire room in his house to them. His favorite themes are Club Penguin and Snow Wars. Ed additionally has a small collection of Secret Agent sets because he thought some of the minipenguins looked like him and his friends despite Armo not producing figures in Old Blue.

Pets[edit]

  • Slushy - Ed's only puffle, adopted in 2009 and has stuck with him ever since.

Residences[edit]

After moving to Chill Island, Ed took up residence in the Mario's Fryz basement, though he would rarely stay there due to missions for the EPF or other adventures. After the events of Kermitity War, Ed moved into his own house on Chill Island which remains his primary residence. Ed additionally owns a neglected igloo on Club Penguin and an apartment in Antilles.

While technically in ownership of the Jedi Redoubt on Portal Island, Ed rarely stays there outside of occasional upkeep visits. After discovering a small set of Veil Society artifacts in the Redoubt in 2019, Ed began using a Portal Ring to near-instantaneously travel between his home and the Redoubt.

Involvement[edit]

Ed's primary job is operator of the Meme Machine, a strange zamboni-like vehicle that generates memetic energy. Because of his spiritual journey in order to activate the Meme Machine, Ed did not participate in many of the adventures that his friends did.

Beginning in 2017, Ed became a full-time EPF agent in Antilles, leading him to lock up the Meme Machine in his garage for safekeeping. While primarily tasked with thwarting the evil deeds of LoVE, Ed also aides the local law enforcement in cleaning up the city's streets of crime. He was named the overall "EPF Top Agent 2018" for these deeds. Because Ed was an EPF agent prior to the dissolution of the PSA, he holds a higher clearance than most agents. Ed is often Doktor's go-to test subject for whatever new invention he comes up with.

Additionally, Ed occasionally performs as Bro's replacement in The KD Band after Bro was deemed "too broring" by Chill for refusing to participate in the revival.

Relationships[edit]

Good[edit]

  • Bro - Ed regards Bro as kind of a jerk but the cool kind of jerk that calls you a nerd while giving you an ice cream cone.
  • Chill57181 - Chill and Ed have been friends ever since Ed moved to Shops Island in 2011.
  • Hat Pop - Hat and Ed met at the Club Penguin Weekee.
  • Garlil Jaeror - Ed's mentor who taught him much about the ways and philosophy of the Force.
  • Kermit - Ed is arguably Kermit's biggest fan in Antarctica, and received not one but three of his autographs.
  • Mario Rk - Mario was introduced to Ed by Chill, and the two naturally became friends. After Ed's own experiences with the Multiverse, he has greatly appreciated Mario's role as a Hopper.
  • Mike - While originally accusing Mike of being a Kermit wannabe, he later befriended the potential alien.
  • Penquino - The two quickly became friends early on, and on multiple occasions Ed has debated the nature of the Jedi and Force with Penquino.
  • Pensturu - Very honoru.
  • Perfekta - Ed first met Janie after a botched EPF mission in Antilles, and the two have grown their relationship ever since.
  • Professor Prepostera - Prepostera is often annoyed by Ed calling him an egghead.
  • Roger - Dug up on Chill Island's beach after other War Bots were found washed up, Roger was taken to Ed's home and repaired. He is now a friend of Ed's and guards the Meme Machine when Ed isn't home.
  • Snowman 1001 - Ed isn't exactly sure how he knows Snowman, but it's probably Weekee related.
  • Snowstormer -

Neutral[edit]

  • Hockey Manlet - Ed holds a lot of respect for the pro athlete despite never meeting him in person.
  • Evil Jeff - Despite being an evil member of LoVE, Ed has made plans with Jeff to collaborate on "Distant Egg Song."

Bad[edit]

  • Carl the Fry Thief - Carl is regarded by Ed as one of the most devious penguins in all of Antarctica due to his crimes.
  • Ghost of Lobsters Past - At some point after Ed ate a lobster, he began being haunted by the Ghost of Lobsters Past. It doesn't really do anything except snibeti snab at him occasionally.
    The Ghost of Lobsters Past
  • mr skeltal - Despite being sworn enemies, Ed has claimed that he enjoys all of their shenanigans.
  • Mister Bones - On the other hand, he regards Mister Bones as pure evil.
  • Penstubal - On more than one occasion Penstubal has mixed up Ed with EDFan12345 when ranting about Ed Island, despite the two having almost no similarities. Ed states that he has never actually met Penstubal in person, despite supposed claims that Ed harasses him constantly.
  • Scrubbypingu - For seemingly no reason, Scrubbypingu slandered Ed and called him a Neo-Naughtzee for over a full year while refusing to give any evidence supporting his claims and stating it was "true because I say so." At one point he used a cheep of Ed talking about a Khanzem War video game as supposed proof.
  • WATuDOIN -
  • What Tambourine - When Ed respectfully asked to turn down his techno music so he could sleep, What responded by blasting Ed at full volume.

Trivia[edit]

  • There were rumors Ed was planning on producing a hit song named "Distant Egg Song", which were confirmed when the song was included in Dab City.
  • Ed's feathers are colored Old Blue and he refuses to tell anyone how he got the color. He dislikes wearing other colors, and prefers how his natural feathers make him look unique.
  • One of Ed's most prized possessions is a stuffed Kermit puppet that he takes great care of. He claims that it comes to life when the moon is full to indulge in some orange juice, but few believe him.
  • The country of Acadia once banned Ed from entering because of a falsehood article in the Penstubal Post. While Acadian officials maintained this as a mistake, Ed claims it was part of a grand conspiracy against him due to his elite agent status.
  • In truth, Ed considered the ban dumb, saying the Acadians were "a bunch of idiots for mixing up a random penguin with some country's leader." He later received a signed jersey in the mail from Chad Thunderbeak for this.
  • Ed has a Chitter account where he posts memes online under the username @Memelord_Ed.

Discography[edit]

Title Details Songs included Peak chart positions
USA CP Shops
Dab City, Population: (You)
  • Released: May 13, 2018
  • Genre: Indie
  • Label: Chill Island Productions
  • Format: CD, digital download
  • Dab City
  • Distant Egg Song
  • Penguin Growth Hormone
  • Safety Jeff Song (ft. Evil Jeff)
  • (You)
1
(Chill Island)

Chronology[edit]

  • 1500s
  • Excalibur (Past)
  • 2013
  • Journey of the Will
  • 2017
  • 2018
  • 2019

Gallery[edit]

Quotes[edit]

  • "You have to eat all the eggs."
  • "tbh smh fam"
  • "Intense daberoni."
  • "Yo Bro"

Featured Cheeps[edit]

Chitter.png
ChitterDefault.png
The Ed @Memelord_Ed • 5 August 2016
I have never seen a thin penguin drink Diet Bepis

ChitterDefault.png
The Ed @Memelord_Ed • 8 January 2017
Milk.png

ChitterDefault.png
The Ed @Memelord_Ed • 24 November 2018
The #VirginAcadia vs the @CHADTHUNDERBEAK

ChitterDefault.png
The Ed @Memelord_Ed • 15 February 2019
>Go to Acadia
>Get shot


See also[edit]