The Humongous Insane Superweapon
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|The Humongous Insane Superweapon|
An fine example of what eating too many OxiPies can do to your mind.
|Type||Gigantic Ditto Missile|
|Effects||Covering a eighth of the world with Ditto, causing immense global warming that would kill off all life on the planet, ect, ect...|
|Location||Inside a gigantic top-secret warehouse|
|Cost to buy||More money then there was, is and ever will be in the universe|
|Cost to sell||Even more money then above|
T.H.I.S., which stands for The Humongous Insane Superweapon, is the world's largest Ditto Missile ever made. Designed by Waffleland's top "scientists" and generals, T.H.I.S is widely acknowledged to be the world's most dangerous weapon ever to get off the drawing board and using it could cause immense Global Warming that would destroy all life on the planet. Surprisingly for a prototype, it is very well known and is the subject of much heated debate from penguins across the continent.
They were not meant to be eaten, and soon the penguins started to go crazy.
After a few minutes of ranting at his desk, a thought popped into his mind.
Why not make the world's biggest Ditto Missile?
He posted his idea on his blog, and went to bed.
The next morning, he found himself inside a dark room with metal walls and a red flashing light up on the ceiling.
A door suddenly opened, and two penguins walked into the room.
"W3 h4v3 h34r3d th4t y0u 4r3 p14nn1ng t0 m4k3 th3 w0r1d'$ 14rg3$t d1tt0 m1$$1l3 3v3r. M4y w3 h341p y0u?"
The penguin, embarrassed that he had mentioned it on his blog, followed the penguins out of the cell and into a brightly-lit room.
There He was introduced to some of Waffleland's most brilliant minds (of course, Waffleland has few) and top generals, and they briefed him on the subject.
Waffleland's military had been pathetic ever since the country started and they needed a way of showing their power.
They also happened to lack a KZT Triple X missile, a fact that gave them a serious disadvantage in a major war.
And, the penguin's specifications for his planned missile were mindblowing, and could outdo the KZT XXX in terms of destruction and damage caused.
After considering their requests, he accepted and started working on it.
The missile was designed in no time, and after five days the plans were complete.
Now to build it.
The Waffliean government purchased huge shipfulls of Ditto Plus and after compressing each shipment into a puffle-sized cube, they dumped them into a empty oversized KZT Triple X fuselage, painted it green and it was finished.
However, just as they were putting the finishing touches on the missile, a messenger arrived with an urgent message.
The missile, if used would not only destroy everything within a 9,000 mile radius of the target, it could also cause such immense global warming that all life on the planet would die.
They started to take apart the missile, but the messenger told them to stop.
It would be impossible to get rid of all that Ditto safely, and it would transform the entire country into a scaled-up version of The Royal Exquisitely Stinky Dump.
Reluctantly they put the missile into storage, and ever since it has remained hidden inside a gigantic top-secret warehouse.
If the missile were ever to be used, it would totally destroy everything within a 9,000-mile radius of the explosion and cover a eighth of the Earth's surface with toxic Ditto Plus. It could also cause global warming to rise at such an extreme rate that within 4 days all non-robotic life on the planet would be exterminated.
So far there is no proof of this.
T.H.I.S. weighs over 90 tons and is over 500 feet tall, which makes it the biggest missile ever designed.
It contains 60 tons of Ditto Plus which is compressed into small cubes in order for it to all fit, and this makes it extremely unstable.
The other part of its weight is 10 tons of metal for the casing and 30 tons for the navigation device which surprisingly, is analogue and not a microchip, which would have drastically reduced costs and weight.
It can travel at over 9,000 kmph and for 5,000 miles without extra fuel, but its distance shoots up to 10,000 miles once an extra fuel tank is added, which brings the weight to 100 tons with extra fuel.
T.H.I.S. received an almost unanimous response of surprise and anger throughout the neighbouring countries.
- Peacemongerers called it an "insult to nations everywhere!"
- Swiss Ninja Hochstadt of Snowzerland demanded one for himself.
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