The Mission

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The Game Mission
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Since you thought of it, you lose!
Info
Start The beginning of time
End The end of time
Prerequisites For you to think about it.
Level Loser
Location Wherever you are
Rewards If you lose, you must publicly announce it to the world
Progression
Birth Death


The Game Mission is a self-imposed mission in which you can't think about "The Mission". Begun by Finwë, it is automatically assigned to all creatures either when they are born or when they learn of it, and it ends in various ways, the most accepted being when the creature dies, and the other being when you think of it. It is unfortunately very annoying, and only very few can win it - this consists of never losing, which means not knowing about it.

Background[edit]

One day, the legendary Finwë was sitting on his couch and lazing around, eating Poritos.

He was starting to wonder if anything would happen when suddenly, he remembered a game of hopscotch that he had played with Nightmare, when he was little, and didn't know better.

Just then, he remembered that he had decided to punish himself if he thought of it, and he screamed out loud, "I lost my mission!" at the top of his lungs.

A passers-by, evidently confused, shouted back that "Nobody cares, m8!". A few other penguins agreed very vocally, and a large wave of embarrassment came over Finwë.

Then an idea of revenge popped into his head, and he shouted to the passers-byes that they too had lost "The Mission, so don't ridicule me, m8!".

Everyone was quiet for a moment, but soon enough they understood and started shouting this too.

In under half-an-hour, the entire population of Arda had fallen under the spell of The Mission, and everybody was silent. They decided that if they were quiet, things would get better again.

Meanwhile, in his dark lair, Malcur laughed.

His prophecy was coming true.

Then he gasped.

He had lost the mission too!

Unfortunately for those who had not yet lost the Mission or were even aware of it, a bunch of random sailors who were passing by had also heard the calls of "I lost the Mission", and they were screaming it on-board.

When the sailors entered home waters, the first thing they screamed at to the pilot (there was rough weather) was the legendary sentence.

In a matter of seconds, all the inhabitants of the pilot ship were screaming it too.

When the pilot's rowing-boat passed by a fishing boat, the pilot screamed it to him.

When the fishing boat went back to its port, the fisherman screamed it to the harbor-master.

When the harbor-master returned to his office, he screamed it to the random sailors.

When the random sailors went out, they screamed it to the world.

Very quickly, The Mission spread across the land like melting butter on a frying-pan.

The sailors went out on their boats, and spread it to the world.

By the next week, everybody in the known world was screaming "I LOST THE MISSION".

Suddenly, the reader says to him/herself:

"Hey, this thing, 'The Mission', reminds me of The Ga-"

Then you gasp.

You've lost The Mission too!

Gameplay[edit]

There are two ways to play The Mission.

The most accepted way to play The Mission is to not think of it for as long as they can.

When one thinks of it, they must shout out "I lost the mission!" to earn a 30-minute grace period where they can try to forget about it. The Mission then starts all over again, but some penguins insist that there's no turning back - in short, whoever thinks of it is forever a loser.

The second way of playing the Mission is mostly performed by the "losers" who insist that once they forget about it, they can't play it again, but they still want to carry on. This consists of reminding others subtly about the Mission, such as saying "You know, it's my mission to forget about it. Ha-ha-ha, made you think about it!".

Walkthrough[edit]

In order to perform the first version of the Mission successfully, the quester must not ever think about "The Mission", or else they lose; the above is then performed. If they are playing it and do not want to become famous for never having lost so far (see below), they can always try again.

To do the second version, one has to already have lost the Mission, and earn a lot of acquaintances. Then, they have to mention, subtly or not, the Mission whenever they talk to the other creature.

Result[edit]

If you haven't lost so far, you will become famous, and everyone will try to make you know about the mission to make you lose, in the hope that you will decide to believe that one you've lost, there's no turning back because you've lost for the first time.

When you die and you still haven't lost, your grave will be made of solid gold and used game cartridges and will say:

(insert name here) has won the mission (hahaha made you think of it!) and is immortally and PWNSOMELY epic!

However, this also means that no gravedigger has ever won the mission, and everyone who ever goes to their gravestone will lose too!

The Mission - the Videogame[edit]

At April 1st, 2016, Snowtendo made a surprise release of a new videogame - The Mission - the Videogame. The videogame had 10,000 editions made, and it was on sale for a week, which was enough time for a successful prank. Accompanied by a super-catchy theme tune, the game began with an animated Finwë explaining that he was on a mission (note the word choice, mission) to forget a very important sentence, in order not to be captured by the evil Malcur. The game progressed with Finwë being accompanied by a skillful puffle named Ardrua, and their journey to go to their destination, the Fountain of Forgetfulness, where there is a final "boss fight" with Malcur. If the player manages to win the "boss fight", the game ends happily ever after with Malcur defeated and Finwë not needing to forget the important information, which is revealed to be: "Whatever you do, don't think of the mission! Hahaha, made you think of it!"

In the first three to four days of release, the critics were elated, describing it as "an amusing quest which brings to thought pusillanimous grimalkins, for the quest of irretrieving knowledge - even when played repeatedly, it's indefatigable!". However, ordinary buyers were not as keen with the disappointing anti-climax. Whilst most average videogamers liked the earlier parts, the fact that Snowtendo had tricked many of them into losing The Mission was very annoying to potential The Mission-winners. Snowtendo were aware of this beforehand, which is why they covered the box with disclaimers, made it limited edition, sold it on the direct market for a week, and made the price higher than other videogames.

Today, The Mission - the Videogame can now be found floating around on aBay and on other assorted second-hand markets, and is worth a lot of coins. Finding it for a bargain is rare. Every now and then, bootleg editions passing off to be genuine, unused Snowtendos appear, but they are easily identified, what with the cover being coloured two-toned and having awful gameplay quality.

Penguins (and other creatures) who lost[edit]

  • Finwë - of course he did; he invented it!
  • The P.O.P.E - Benzin is always reminded of it by both mischievous pranksters and from his number one rival, Nevel Paperguy, who seeks his downfall and blockage to fame and power. He's tried to forget about it numerous times, but since he's already lost more than 25 times...
  • Malcur - when his prophecy that the Mission would take off began to be fulfilled, unfortunately for him, he lost shortly afterwards!
  • FredX - the student he freezed saw him again, and for revenge, she shouted at him "YOU MAY HAVE FROZEN ME BUT YOU'VE LOST THE MISSION, HA-HA-HA!", at the risk of being freezed again in his fury.
  • Mugston Cupotea and his subscribers - he likes making bi-monthly videos on WaddleTube about The Mission, to prank his subscribers with and hopefully get some new ones too. Unfortunately, he ends losing them because of it.
  • Add some others!

Creatures who won[edit]

  • Explorer I - as he was never told about it, he won.

Trivia[edit]

  • Very, very few win.
  • The Mission is referenced many times in books, media, food packets, and even on sanitary products.
  • This is one of the reasons it's difficult to win.
  • Some think that the Mission is just a lie to confuse everybody.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]