Royal Army of Waffleland

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The Royal Army of Waffleland
One of the most powerful armies in the world, second only to Snowzerland
Name The Royal Army of Waffleland
Type Waffleland's Military
Location Waffleland
Head General Rockingham
Job Defend Waffleland from invaders, secure more Waffle Mix for the citizens
Members Over 9000 Wafflians!
Headquarters In a gigantic cave below The Royal Exquisitely Stinky Dump

The Royal Army of Waffleland is the national army of Waffleland. Surprisingly, in terms of number and training, they are one of the best. Conscription is compulsory and every citizen over 10 years old (for under 10s they must lie about their age - yes this is law) must serve ten tours of duty during his life time. An alternative is joining any other branch of the military. At war every conscript is enrolled into the army and sent to fight the enemy. It is one of the four branches of the Waffleland military, the others being the Royal Navy of Waffleland (RNW), the Lolmarines of Waffleland (LW) and the Waffleland Air Force of ROFLCOPTERs and other Flying Spaghetti Monsters (WAFRFSM). There are trained professionals in the army as well but they form a small minority.


A Zeppelin of the Royal Army of Waffleland

Waffleland was built by Micro Hard and Soft. At the time Bill Gate$ sent a private army to protect it while the island was built but eventually the Str00dels realised that they would eventually need a military. They decided to bring together several ex USA military commanders turned Str00del Force minions; General Rockingham from the Army, General Spaghetti from the Air Force, Vice Admiral Lean Bean from the Navy and Major General Kewel of the Marines to train an army. Now although they were great officers in their time in the military many of them had lost their experience due to Str00delisation. The army had a few penguins and puffles equiped with ROFLCOPTER guns (and just that), the navy were using some poorly built hovercraft, dinghies, inflatables and sailing yachts, the air force only had ROFLCOPTERCOPTERs and although many were excellent pilots like Wing Commander Str00del elsewhere they used hot air balloons, hand gliders (and they couldn't work out how to launch the gliders) and three DH.10 which broke down.

The military was pretty useless as a result. They sent them to aid USA soldiers in a battle against Darktan II's army but many were PWNED (although the US troopers did defeat the Darktonians eventually). The members were all 'trained professionals' but the pros were outgunned. The Wafflians used their small brains and realised that numbers would win them battles. They introduced conscription as compulsory for over 10s while under 10s lied about their age if they wished to join the military. STINC suddenly attacked the island and took it over WITHOUT hassle despite the extra soldiers. However they were 'liberated' by Snowzerland who invaded and drove them out. The Wafflians then allied with the Snoss and the Snoss Army along with the RDA decided to train up the military. This turned them into an effective fighting force. The Snoss soon left after Swiss Ninja branded the Str00dels there as stinking l33t savages but one of the best military's in Antarctica was left. To try it out the The Royal Army of Waffleland had a practice with the Nerds in a simulated replica of a map from a video game. Surprisingly the Wafflians won along with the other branches of the military. This was considered a success and Waffleland went as fair as attaching their military to UAN peacekeeping missions. Today, the army remains one of the top armies in Antarctica.


Rank Job Pay Grade
General of the Army/Commander in Chief Overall command of the army (and other military branches for the Commander in Chief). They may also hold the responsibilities of an ordinary general. The current General of the Army is General Rockingham and Commander in Chief is Mr Bean. O-8
General Lead an army, army group, region or theater. Answers to the General of the Army and the Commander in Chief. O-7
Major General Leads a division. May also be second in command of an army. O-6
Brigadier General Leads a brigade. May also be second in command of a division. O-5
Major Leads a battalion. They may also be the second in command of a regiment. O-4
Captain Leads a company. They may also be second in command of a battalion. O-3
Ensign First Class Leads a platoon. Rank denotes experience. They may also be the second in command of a company. O-2
Ensign Leads a platoon. O-1
Sergeant Major/Drill Sergeant/Officer Candidate The leading NCO is any chain of command above platoon (company, battalion etc). Usually the third in command. Drill Sergeants aid or lead the training of soldiers. Officer Candidates are those who are eligible for promotion to an officer rank or who are training to become one. E-7
Platoon Sergeant Second in command of an officer leading a platoon. E-6
Sergeant Leads a squad. E-5
Specialist.gifSpecialist/Corporal Those with a trade, qualification or professional skill with use to the army (very rare in Waffleland but some actually do) enter as a Specialist. Specialists may also go to the Waffleland Ranger School to get promoted to Specialist to denote expeirience. Corporals are junior NCOs and may command a fire team. Specialists do not command a fire team; it is purely honorific or denotes one has a skill. E-4
Waffleprivate2.pngPrivate First Class Fights Enemies. It is a title of honour for a soldier and rarely holds any commanding responsibilities (although they may) E-3
Waffleprivate.pngPrivate Fights Enemies. They are the lowest rank in combat. E-2
Recruit Trains to become a soldier. E-1


Everyone who conscripts or enlists as a job is given training as a soldier. The training is effective even thought it looks useless and the recruits storm through it. The training is done at the Waffleland Barracks of Army Training. If they do not wish to serve as a fighter then they go to a specialist school and do training in roles such as engineering, logistics etc. However you must hold a degree to do those jobs.

Officers require degrees and are sent to the Waffleland Officer Academy to train. The OC will do some basic training plus the actual officer training before being assigned a platoon. Conscripts may not become officers; the highest rank they can achieve is Sergeant Major. Regular soldiers (not conscripts) who wish to be promoted to Specialist apply for a place at the Waffleland Ranger School. There they train until they graduate. The graduates have a choice of being reassigned to the main special operations branch of the army the Waffleland Rangers Battalion or being promoted to Specialist. Many choose the promotion.


  • The name is strange as it has 'Royal' eventhough Waffleland isn't a Monarchy.
  • It is surprising how effective they are.
  • Some professional members are Str00delised ex private contractors from PMCs like ACP or Nachos or Jerks. The rest are your average Wafflian.