Uncle Bungee

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Uncle Bungee
Gadget room.png
Quite possibly the only known photograph of Uncle Bungee, who is supposedly on the left, with Bert in the center.
Profile
Title Uncle
Gender Male
Race Unknown, probally Penguin or Puffle
Faction There are tons of conflicting reports on this matter
Health Unknown due to conflicting reports
Level Probally hidden if he really exits
Status Unknown
Location There are many theories, but none have any evidence
Occupation Unknown
Interests Nobody has the slight idea
Friends If reports are to be belived, lots
Enemies Unknown
Archetype Conspiracy Theory
Online username User:Uncle Bungee
Codename It seems to be Uncle Bungee
Signature ˙əƃɐssəɯ sıɥʇ ʇəƃɹoɟ ʇsnɾ os 'ɯɐ ı oɥʍ ʍouʞ ɹəʌəu llɐɥs noʎ


Uncle Bungee is a mysterious being that is said to live somewhere and is often mentioned by penguins. Nobody knows whether he is Penguin or Puffle (or...could he be something else?), but from what conspiracy theorists have been able to put together he may be an extremely important creature, involved in politics, science, history and maybe a few other fields or two. He is confirmed to be married to Aunt Agatha, the infamously fat penguin.

Conspiracy's Origin[edit]

The conspiracy hails to the days of Khanzem. Whoot Smackler Whoot had an unfortunate-but-indirect encounter with the being when early one morning, right as he woke up.

Finding a note in a visible spot in his room, he picked it up and began to read it:

"Dear WTW,
I have come.
You will never know who I am.
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-oops.

˙əƃɐssəɯ sıɥʇ ʇəƃɹoɟ ʇsnɾ os 'ɯɐ ı oɥʍ ʍouʞ ɹəʌəu llɐɥs noʎ"

Upon reading it he opened the link and the paper's text faded.

Instead of the message there was a picture of a blue toilet seat in anaglyph format, and Whoot Smackler Whoot put on a pair of old-school 3D glasses. Seeing the picture and a message written on it, he responded in the only way he new.

"OH SWEET LAWD RANDOM TOILET WITH A MESSAGE ON IT!" screamed Whoot, waking everyone up.

"Oh...and....by...the...way...I can't make it ou-oh here it is!...my...name...is..." mumbled Whoot, but was interrupted by one of his guards.

"UNCLE BUNGEE? I KNOW THAT GUY!" shouted the guard.

"Who is he?" demanded Whoot Smackler Whoot.

The guard's face turned red and after some thought, he replied with a "Never mind. I don't really know. I just said it to make you feel better.".

As such, the legend was born.

Birth theories[edit]

Nobody has been able to confirm anything, but here are the major theories:

Asteroid Theory[edit]

According to this theory, 500 million years ago an asteroid crashed into the earth, causing a gigantic dinosaur underneath the earth's crust to fart, sending over 9,000 billion tons of gas into the atmosphere.

Out of the gas, Uncle Bungee was said to have came, in the form of a plastic cup and holding a 5-edged fork with his nose.

Most penguins ridicule this theory, as no dinosaur could ever survive under the earth's crust, and plastic cups are NOT formed by gas (they don't have noses either).

King of Grease Theory[edit]

This theory states that Uncle Bungee is descended directly from the king of a land called "Grease" (ewwwwwwwww!) and thus has inherited magical powers that let him manipulate reality itself and the way the universe works

This theory is a bit more plausible but since nobody's ever heard of a land called Grease, the theory might as well be dumped. Though a few years back there was a hot dog stand called "Land of Grease" that was shut down for heath concerns, and the owner of it vowed revenge in the form of one of his descendants. However since Uncle Bungee has been mentioned by penguins far before that, the theory is not as accepted among the public as others, although there are some who believe that his son went back in time. Those are few and far in between though.

Normal Penguin Theory[edit]

Followers of this theory belive that Uncle Bungee is an ordinary penguin who is rather hyped up for a joke.

The general public refuses to accecpt this theory, as it is "too boring", but the most intellegent state that it is the most likely to be true.


There are also hunderds of other theories that overall have more followers together, but each theory has only 1 or two belivers so it really isn't as significant, as they are not unified.

Thus:
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Personality[edit]

Not much is known about Uncle Bungee overall, but here they have a slight amount more information.

Uncle Bungee is said to be very kind to his pawns (he is said to have lots), but amazingly terrifying to his enemies.

He is said to be very calm about everything, and approaches everything in a cool, professional additude.

Uncle Bungee is also supposed to be noise sensitive and will do anything to have peace and quiet.

Involvement[edit]

Nobody knows for sure what size cog he is in the machine of life, but evidence suggests he's pretty important.

Almost important enough, it seems, to rule the world or at least the entire USA.

He is one of the more well-known conspiracies, so most of the public has at least heard of the theories.

Nobody knows how some people seem to have more knowladge of him then others, and as they often contradict each other, they often CANNOT be trusted completely.

Though there HAS been a few cases where he supposedly popped up, most of the "witnesses" died or "dissappeared" within a few days of the event.

Allignment[edit]

Nobody knows for sure if Uncle Bungee is on the side of good or evil, as all reports contradict each other.

However, some think that he may be just "toying around" with us, frequently switching sides and betraying one penguin after another.

Involvement with the PSA[edit]

The PSA USED to have an agent named "UncBung" which sounds a little like Uncle Bungee, but so far there is no proof that this is him.

Interestingly he was said to have caused poor Bert to spend his entire life stuck in a garbage can, which seems like something (in the eyes of the public) Uncle Bungee would do.

Involvement with the UPM[edit]

The Underground PWN Mafia is sometimes said to be allied with him, but Bugzy explicitly denies it.

Involvement with Darktan[edit]

When Darktan I (now Theangol Anator) was asked for a reaponse, he replied that he didn't recognize the name, but Darktan II simply laughed and kicked the reporters out of his castle.

Involvement with the Walrus Crime Ring[edit]

When new recruits of the Walrus Crime Ring are sent to their quarters, they each receive a letter stating their future role in the crime ring, with Uncle Bungee's signature.

Nobody knows how or if he is involved with the Walrus Crime Ring, as so far they do not respond to emails that are not from Bananaphone.

The EPF is working right now to hack into that banana's email...

Signature[edit]

Uncle Bungee's signature ( ˙əƃɐssəɯ sıɥʇ ʇəƃɹoɟ ʇsnɾ os 'ɯɐ ı oɥʍ ʍouʞ ɹəʌəu llɐɥs noʎ ) has been the subject of much debate over the past few years, as it is speculated that it may give clues to his personality, where he currently resides and maybe even his true identity. Scientists have recently taken a closer look at the "ink" in which his letters are written in and with close examination it is revealed that the letters are written with a chemical unknown to science, but similar chemicals have been recently found to exist in the mysterious OxiPie, which leads to speculation that he is in league with the deceased Billy Mays. The letters rarely have flipperprints on them, but the few that do have been the subject of much speculation, as they do not resemble the flipperprints of any penguin that is known to exist, and in fact, they even resemble the prints left by a Puffle's telekenetic grasp! His letters appear to be written by an extremely old typewriter, and his signature handwritten. But even this does not give many hints, as his signature is quite similar to many other penguin's, and the typewritten print does not resemble the print of any typewriter ever made by penguins, which makes some think that his typewriter was donated by the Humans.