User:Slenderman/Project:For the lulz/The Dystopian History of Slender
The Dystopian History of Slender is a story when Slender went back in time and became the founder of Shops Island, Snowzerland, UnitedTerra and many more places unknown at that time. As his empire grew, so did his psychopathy and insanity. In the end, will he manage to stop himself from becoming Evil itself, or will he succumb to temptation? Read to find out more.
Prologue, or should I say, sthuff happening before Slender travelled back in time[edit]
It was an ordinary day at the Straits Kingdom. The King of the island, Slender, was sitting on his throne. His girlfriend - Autumn, was hanging out with her other friends at Shops Island, because hey, being in a romantic relationship doesn't mean that you can't have any normal friends. Slender was bored. Suddenly, his icePhone rang. The King's friend - Josh Parker, was calling him.
Josh:"Hey dude, what's up?"
Slender:"Nothing man, I got the living daylight bored out of me."
Josh:"Oh, wanna join me and the other guys in a game of street soccer?"
Slender:"Beats doing nothing at all. Where will you be playing?"
Josh:"The usual place that we play at."
Slender:"I'll see you there, bye."
Slender hanged up. He changed into his casual clothes and walked to the place. He arrived 15 minutes later. Everyone invited to play was already there.
Josh:"Hi. What's up?"
Slender:"The sky."
Josh:"Overused by our Straits standard."
Slender:"Whatever, let's divide ourselves into two teams."
Despite Pengapore City being the capital of the Straits Kingdom, some of it's streets were still old. As for the reason why didn't Slender and his cronies play in a stadium even though they could, its because they thought playing at the streets is more 'kewler'.
15 minutes had already passed since the game started. Slender and his team were sprinting through alleys in order to reach the opponents' goal - which was the door of an empty shop. Josh and 2 members of the opponent team were catching up.
Slender:"Man this is awesome!"
Josh:"IKR."
On the other side of the road that Slender will have to pass through, some penguin was cycling a bicycle. However, this was his first time, and the last too. Suddenly, the penguin lost control and the bicycle is practically cycling itself, although the penguin was still cycling.
Penguin:"AHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Slender was crossing the road. The cyclist jumped off the bike. It went down a slope, which led to Slender's spot. The bicycle hit Slender on his head, yes the whole bicycle.
Upon impact, Slender fell to the charcoal-black ground. However, he didn't hit the ground. Slender was infinitely falling through something.
Slender:"WAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!"
Chapter 1:Shops is founded in year 1999, not 2011 you bozo[edit]
Slender suddenly found himself 25 feet up the sky. Below him was a city.
Slender:"OHHHHH CRAPPPPP!"
He could see the stone-made pathway beside the streets. The pedestrians saw him. Luckily, Slender landed on his feet. The onlookers just stared at him and clapped at his unbelievably lucky survival.
Slender:"Errr, thank you thank you. Now if you excuse me, I want to get something to snack on."
The small crowd left and continued their business. He looked around him. Slender wasn't at Pengapore City, he was at the South Pole City.
Slender:"The heck just happened?"
Slender tapped a penguin on his shoulder. He looked Puffish.
Slender:"Excuse me sir, but what time is it?"
Puffish penguin:"G'day chap, the time is 2.48 pm, 30th November, 1999."
Slender:"1999?"
Puffish penguin:"Wanna join me for tea mate?"
Slender:"How do you know that I drink tea?"
Puffish penguin:"I could tell that you are Puffish by your look."
Slender:"Oh okay then."
About 10 minutes later, Slender found himself sipping a cup of Earl Grey. He and his new friend were in a teahouse.
Slender:"So what do you do for a living, Oliver?"
Oliver:"I am called Ollie South. I am a mercenary."
Slender can't believe what he heard. Ollie South is the Supreme Commander of the Circular Powers' official military in the canon timeline.
Slender:"Do you have an army?"
Oliver:"Yeah, its like 200 penguins-strong."
Slender:"Great! Wanna do some colonizing?"
Oliver:"For which country?"
Slender:"For ourselves."
Oliver:"Alright, what's the name of the target?"
Slender:"Shops Island. It is located at the Asiapelago, near Malesia."
Oliver:"I never heard of that place before."
Slender:"Let's just say that my late uncle owned the island and gave it to me in his will."
Oliver:"Cool, when will we be taking off?"
Slender:"I have lots of money. We can get some penguins looking for a new life to join us."
2 days later, Slender, Ollie and their expedition crew set off for Shops Island. They set off from Club Penguin, at that time just a humble port city. Their fleet of 3 ships sailed south. It was only 5.03 am in the morning when they set off
6 hours later, they saw land. The crew was following Slender's 2014 map.
Ollie:"Slender, I saw a crescent-shaped island!"
Slender:"That must be Moon Island. I got a good news, we are near Shops Island. Sail south-east!"
Ollie:"Yes sir."
Not long, Slender and his crew had arrived.
Slender:"Hahahaha, we have finally arrived!"
Slender planted the freshly-painted Shops Island flag on the ground.
Slender:"I now name this island as the Republic of Shops Island. I declare the form of government to be an aristocratic-presidential republic. I, Antonio Mason, founder of Shops Island, hereby inaugurate myself as the President of Shops Island. Never never never give up!"
The crew cheered in approval. They shouted.
Crowd:"Never never never give up!"
Slender:"Alright, Division 1, build a port here! Division 2, explore the island with me! Division 3, attract more penguins! Division 4, head west and explore. Build houses if the land is suitable. Division 5, head east and explore the island. Division 6, head south and explore. Ollie South and crew, look out for intruders."
Everyone:"Yes sir!"
Soon, houses and facilities were built. The port was finished. Many penguins immigrated here because Slender's men spread word about it being a "land of opportunity". They started businesses, skyrocketing employment rates. Slender and his men also built a presidential palace.
One day, Slender was taking a stroll along the capital - Shops City. Suddenly, he saw familiar sights. The Presideny saw Penquino and Bro!
Slender:"Da fudge? Bro was only a few months old by now!"
Nevertheless, Slender decided to greet them.
Slender:"Hi."
Penquino:"Hi."
Bro:"Do I know you?"
Slender:"Yes, I am the President of Shops Island. I am looking for a Vice President and a Minister of Finance. You lots will do well."
A few hours later, Penquino found himself in his new office. It was lavishly decorated like other offices for important government officials.
Penquino:"Wow so extravagant."
Slender:"I spared no expense, Penquino."
Penquino:"Now I felt that this is a waste of state funds."
Slender:"I used MY money, you bozo."
Suddenly, a penguin ran up to them with a newspaper.
Slender:"What is it Jimmy?"
Jimmy:"Read this Mr. President!"
The President read the newspaper. The headlines said:"Antarctican Revolution started. 340 Puffish soldiers killed by well-placed rebel bomb. 5 rebels executed in public."
Slender:"The Revolution has started?"
Penquino:"What revolution?"
Slender gave Penquino the newspaper. The Vice President's jaw dropped.
Slender:"We'll support the Rebels. Those Puffish businessmen are really straining trade with their expensive prices."
The next day, Slender and Penquino were in a Shopper military base. About 2,500 soldiers took off in helicopters and warships. Some tanks were even driven aboard the ships.
Slender:"So far so good."
Penquino:"Sir, do you realize that our army isn't very strong?"
Slender:"Oh come on, we don't really need a strong army, or do we?"
Penquino:"What if the Rebels lose? The Puffish government will attack us! Wanna know what will happen next?"
Slender:"What?"
Penquino:"You'll be hanged till you are dead."
Slender:"How can I improve our army then?"
Penquino:"Don't worry, my sister and her husband can help us to develop powerful weapons."
Slender:"Ok."
Penquino:"We also need to put more funds for the military."
Slender:"Sure thing."
Over the next few weeks, the budget for the military increased. More soldiers joined the Shopper Armed Forces. Many new weapons and vehicles were developed too, thanks to extremely talented scientists hired by Slender. Shopper support for the Rebels strained relations between Shops Island and Grans Permatan.
More troops were devoted to helping the Rebels to win the war. In the end, the Shoppers managed to help the Rebels to win the Revolution. In 2000, the USA was formed. However, Shopper forces managed to take some territories in the mainland such as New Delphis, Polaris, the Happyface State and Archet.
Together with its armies, President Slender also invaded many surrounding territories like Freezestonia, Chill Island, Puffalia and many more. Places like Buhu Isle, Frosian Islands and Moon Island offered to join the Shopper Republic. Shops Island became a powerful nation in just mere months. After the last Shopper territory was conquered, the date was 6th June 2000.
Chapter 2:Reunifying the German States[edit]
President Slender was proud of his achievement. However, he wanted more. Slender immediately called General Ollie, Penquino and the top government officials to his palace.
Slender:"We'd gained lots of colonies and territories recently. Our citizens and economy are profiting from it."
Penquino:"Gews4yew."
Slender:"Which is why we must expand. We'd already proved that we are a dominating force in the Asiapelago. We need to expand to the Ninja Archipelago and the Sub-Antarctic Islands."
Ollie:"So what island shall we invade next?"
Slender:"Snowzerland. General, get 45,000 soldiers ready 3 days later."
Ollie:"Yes sir."
3 days later, about 25 warships reached the shores of Snowzerland. Slender and Penquino came out of the flagship. A soldier planted the Shopper flag on the ground.
Slender:"Now this land belongs to us!"
The Shopper President and his men continued to explore the city. 2 hours later, they reached a city.
Slender:"The heck? I thought that this island isn't inhabited?"
Penquino:"So what should we do?"
Slender:"Diplomacy first."
Slender walked into the city with his armies. The locals looked at them funny. A blue penguin came out to greet them.
Blue penguin:"Who are you?"
Slender:"I am Slender, President of Shops Island."
Blue penguin:"I am Swiss Ninja, ruler of Zurich."
Slender:"Swiss Ninja? You sounded familiar..."
Slender thought about the name for a few seconds. He realized that Swiss Ninja is the dictator of the German States! However, he kept his cool.
Slender:"Nice to meet you."
Swiss Ninja:"You too."
The two penguins shook flippers.
Swiss Ninja:"Come, let me show you to my palace."
After walking for a few minutes, the Shoppers arrived at Swiss' palace. President Slender, Penquino and some elite Shopper soldiers went into the palace. General Ollie South and the rest waited outside.
Slender:"Nice place you got here."
Swiss Ninja:"Thanks, I'll get you all some Cream Soda."
Penquino:"Do you have eggnog?"
Swiss Ninja:"I think so."
Slender:"Where's the bathroom?"
Swiss Ninja:"At the end of the corridor at your left."
Swiss went to his kitchen. Slender signaled for Penquino to go to the bathroom. He followed. Once the two were inside, Slender shut the door.
Slender:"Look, I won't be annexing this for Shops Island. I'll make it an independent nation under my rule."
Penquino:"Why?"
Slender:"So that this fool won't have a hatred at Shops Island and try to kill you. If he wants to kill someone, it should be me rather than you."
Penquino:"Okay."
Slender went back to the living room again. There was 3 bottles of Cream Soda on the table.
Swiss:"Enjoy your drink."
Slender took a sip. Penquino reluctantly followed, paranoid that it may be poisoned.
Slender:"Nice thing you have here."
Swiss:"So why did you visit me in the first place?"
Slender:"Oh, I wanna start a trade agreement with you."
Swiss:"Sure."
Slender gave a signal to the elite soldiers. They aimed their rifles at Swiss suddenly. Slender whipped out a pistol and pointed it at Swiss' face. The ruler of Zurich raised his flippers. Penquino followed suit.
Swiss:"What do you want?"
Slender:"I want to be the Emperor of this island."
Swiss:"You?! I am the Emperor!"
Slender fired his pistol. However, Swiss caught it when it fired. He took it from Slender's flipper and grabbed one of the elite soldier, holding him hostage.
Swiss:"Get out of this island or else I'll shoot your bodyguard!"
However, the elite guard was very good in martial arts. He delivered a few blows to Swiss and disarmed him. The Shoppers, including Slender and Penquino, fired at him.
RATATATATATATATATATA
Swiss Ninja, with his quick reflexes, dodged the bullets and ran out to the streets. General Ollie and his army chased him, with Slender and his squad following him.
After chasing Swiss across the whole island, they managed to corner him on a cliff.
Slender:"Take this penguin custody!"
Swiss:"No! I'd rather die here! Come and fight me, without guns."
Swiss took out a short sword. However, Slender ignored him and shot him in the head. The bullet pierced through his crown, but it didn't kill him.
BANG!
Slender kicked him off the cliff, plunging Swiss to his watery grave.
With this kick, the Great Snowzerland Wars won't exist in the future. Slender thought that Swiss' death will cement his rule.
However, Swiss was still alive, mostly thanks to Slender missing his shot. He spat out some water that he accidentally swallowed.
Swiss:"Slender took my throne. I shall plan my revenge!"
Swiss swam for a few hours. Eventually, he saw a Batavian ship heading for him. Swiss waved his flippers, hoping to attract the attention of the ship...
Back in Snowzerland, Slender marched back to the city hall of Zurich. His soldiers forced everyone to gather around him.
Slender:"People, changes have been made. Serious changes. I am now the Emperor of Snowzerland Island. Bow to me!"
Slender showed the Snoss a forged will made by Swiss Ninja. The Snoss believed and bowed to him in respect.
With the help of Shops Island, Slender developed the island. Many cities were built on the island. Zurich was made the capital of Snowzerland. Swiss' palace was demolished to make way for Slender's much larger and luxurious palace.
Many penguins immigrated to the island. A military was created too. With Shopper aid, the Snoss Military was as good as ever. The RDA was established. However, the head scientist of the RDA was far more talented than Mito. He was also slightly wackoo. The scientist was a man named Heinrich. Heinrich helped to create more advanced weapons for the Snoss Military. With these new weapons, Snowzerland annexed Lichestien, Osterreach and Alemania.
One day, this mad scientist invited Slender to Terninia, a RDA base.
Slender:"This better be good. I am busy dating my girlfriend."
Heinrich:"Oh, dun worry mein Kaiser. Your Imperial Majesty vill be pleased vith vhat I have to show."
Heinrich took Slender to a large cloning lab.
Heinrich:"Mein scientists have managed to clone a penguin successfully. Ve are now cloning soldiers for ze Snoss Empire mass-scale."
Slender:"Great. And please stop the German accent."
Heinrich:"Ok."
Heinrich took Slender outdoors. In front of him was a nuclear warhead.
Slender:"Is this a nuke?"
Heinrich:"Ah, your secret police must've told you about this."
Slender:"But I don't have a secret-"
Heinrich:"Don't worry. Anyway, we'd tested the prototype of a nuclear weapon days ago. We'd a nuclear reactor working nearby, pumping out plutonium rods every day. Nuclear weapons are explosive devices that cause damages by nuclear reactions."
Slender:"Go on, I am interested."
Heinrich:"We'll be testing this prototype now. We've already produced 6 warheads and put them into missiles."
After Slender, Heinrich and some Snoss soldiers got into a bunker, the scientists detonated the bomb at the sea,
