User blog:TurtleShroom/Regarding My Grandfather, and then Regarding this Site during this time of Mourning
As many have noticed, I have slowed my activity to a crawl in extremely recent times after a quick burst of productivity.
This problem has a simple answer. My paternal grandfather is dying and I myself have just grasped this in full, and it's taking a mighty toll.
Introduction[edit]
Right now, I am a mess. I feel saddened, weak, sweaty, and even sick. I have trouble with mucous/allergies at the time, and I'm not very hungry but one time in the day. I have increased in sleep and, for the first time in years, I am a bit quieter.
Last night, I collapsed and was miserable to the point that I had to sleep beside my mother. I mourned for my grandfather, even though he is still living. I feared also for my great-grandmother, who, at ninety, could go out just as quick.
The madness is harmful, and though I won't literally go crazy, my paternal grandfather nearing death and an ancient-but-healthy great-grandmother is really taking a toll on my life, and it hurts. Anything could make me worse, and all prognosis holds that my grandfather will die in the future. I can't afford any added stress, and may have to withdraw largely from my addiction to this site if even the slightest argument comes to light.
Even worse, my mind is tormented (according to my religion, by Lucifer) because I am at a time of such staggering weakness. The slightest thing that's controversial, saddening, or unclean will follow me intrusively wherever I go, and I have to consistently and physically clear my mind to rid myself of such intrusive and unclean thoughts.
My paternal grandfather[edit]
For your convience, allow me to give you the full story of why my paternal grandfather is in this condition, and then I'm going to lay down some emergency mandates for this site because of my own ill state. It's either the mandates, or I will be forced to withdraw for an unknown period of time as my grandfather slides closer to death. I will announce his loss for you when such a time comes.
Medical history[edit]
Allow me to first explain my grandfather. He has lived a long life, having reached seventy six last January. This is nearly the average American life expectancy. He has been blissfully married to his wife in a long and stable relationship, and he has seen grandchildren and many a Christmas visit and annual pigging out at Thanksgiving. Indeed, he has had a great life.
Now, he stands near the end. He is currently hospitalized, and has been in that state for over six weeks.
To understand why he is here, you must have a quick understanding of his past.
My paternal grandfather has been plagued with heart problems for decades. He heart has been and is weak, and only now has it really taken him down.
- At thirty five, my grandfather had a severe heart attack that knocked him off the work force forever. He was indefinately crippled, but awed his family as he rebounded to outstanding health, even though he had lost much of his heart's ability to pump.
- He went on to have two minor heart attacks, a quadruple bypass surgery, and two minor strokes. These five items are trivial in comparison to the first, as none of them did any strong damage or anything to affect his quality of life at that time. As my father stated, he has rebounded not only back, but back to his healthiest state, as in, the time between his first and second cardiac arrests. His doctors told my father that he should have died over twenty years ago, and that him even existing at this age is beyond amazing, and verging to a long-standing miracle.
- Sometime along the way, he was fitted with a pacemaker. This pacemaker is what has kept him alive, literally, and even now, the pacemaker is in perfect condition. Its built-in deflibulator has saved him several times.
This background is essential to understanding my paternal grandfather's condition.
The present situation[edit]
Now, all of these above incidents bring up where we are today.
My paternal grandfather, prior to admission into the hospital, has been runnng on one-third of his heart's full capacity. Leading up to his hospitalization, his heart's capacity declined from one-third to twenty percent.
It was then that his heart, now too weak to pump his blood fast enough to filter it, caused his kidneys to fail.
He was admitted to the hospital immediantly, for kidney failure, and surrounded by a team of doctors that had worked with him for over thirty years. (These doctors are so good that it wasn't until a month or so ago that they agreed to move down here with the rest of my family. It was not the ability to move, but that the doctors couldn't follow. Even though his highly detailed records could help his new doctors, the old doctors knew so much more about my paternal grandfather than records could display, and for this reason, they wouldn't leave because he depends so heavilly on them. It was only when the local hospital upgraded and put on the ritz, and won a national award, that they bit the bullet and chose to move from an hour away to a few minutes away.)
Now, the reason his kidneys failed was because of his heart. His kidneys unable to filter, he became dehydrated. The doctors, in a desperate rush to save his kidneys, adjusted his medication (he was on dozens of pills every few hours) to save those organs, which knocked everything else out of whack in a vicious cycle.
The doctors chose to fill him with water to save his body from lethal dehydration, but because his heart was too weak to cause the water to absorb into his bloodstream and make its way out of the body through the kidneys and such, he swelled and became bloated.
He then began to stop eating. He was hooked up to a tube that fed directly to his stomach, but it lacks the benefit of true digestion, and because it gives him 1950 of his 2000 calories (the 50 is through eating), he has no desire or need to eat, even though he must.
The cycle continued and his heart became worse. From twenty percent, it slid to ten percent. Things worsened, but the doctors took a chance and decided to begin draining the water. It worked, and he became less bloated and his mind became clearer!
However, this came at a price, sinking his potassium. His pacemaker is programmed to swap to deflibulator mode (shocking him) if postassium drops below three. It fell to three, but the doctors halted the draining just before his pacemaker needed to shock him. So, to reverse this, they pumped him back up with potassium until he could re-atain his health level of four and a half. Then, they drained that, and he lost some swelling, which is all I know where he is now.
My paternal grandfather's fate[edit]
This cycle has no end. They may drain him to the point that he could try and walk, but that would strain what's left of his heart and kill him. If they keep him in the bed, his heart will whither away (it's already sliding downwards from ten percent) and kill him. Each end results in the same thing: death. There is no way out short of a miracle.
Everything that has happened to him has the same source: my paternal grandfather's heart. Fix the heart, fix my grandfather.
If he was much younger, he would be on a transplant list. However, my family refuses to put him there because a transplant may hold him out for three more years (if he didn't die on the operating table), while a young transplant demander could go for twenty or far more. My father said it would be selfish to deprive another of a long life to give his father a year or two, and he affirms that my grandfather would not want that, either.
There you have it. If we get my grandfather off the bed, he will give out due to the stress of therapy. If we keep him in the hospital bed, he will whither out all the same. He is going to die, and the entire family has recieved orders to brace for it.
He is not yet in hospice, but his doctors are out of ideas.
The good news[edit]
'Yet, there is but ONE bit of good news. According to the doctors, his wife, and my paternal grandfather himself, he is NOT experiencing ANY pain. The hospital charts rank pain from a scale of one to ten. He is zero on this scale, meaning that he is pain free as if he was a healthy man!
This is good news, as he is NOT suffering in this hospital bed at all, which provides desperately needed comfort for us all. The only folks suffering are us, having to look at him like that.
Mournful Law?[edit]
As you can see, this is hurting my whole family. If you think it's hurting me, imagine what it's doing to my father. Imagine losing your father! The entire family is saddened, and we're going to continue marching on and hope for a miracle.
I haven't had to deal with death in ten years, and with this, I feel saddened, ill, and weak.
I am an emotional mess at this time, sad and easily depressed, as it was when I had temporal depression in the eighth grade.
I can not afford to have stress at this time.
- As such, I have two choices.
- Largely withdraw from the site, meaning very little activity, as in, maybe minutes a day or one long day and minutes elsewhere, AKA extreme sparsity and no pattern. This is to migitate any stress.
- Remain totally on the site as-is, but implement emergency powers to prevent stress.
There is a reason I play on the computer for eight or more hours every single day. This machine is my solace, and now more than ever, I need solace. I need comfort, escape, and happiness. I already have much of this in my family and faith, but this is really the thing I do when my family is at work. Religion follows everywhere. This computer is a sanctuary of sorts, topped only by the most intimate things that truly matter (family and the Lord). It's all I do, and for these reasons, I desire to continue having fun here, if only to hold myself together.
If I wish to maintain my strong ties with all of you, my friends, I am going to need to be able to migitate all stress as it happens, when it happens, and at any cost. I request that you help me in this daunting task, because this is all I do all day. I can go elsewhere to other things, but nothing replaces the Club Penguin Fanon Wiki.
I'll give you the choice on what to do. Vote expires midnight Eastern Standard, on September 8th, 2010. Zone, please be respectful of me in these times.
What is Mournful Law?[edit]
The name is a pun on "martial law".
Mournful Law, if the Masses vote to approve it in my time of need, will bring about the following.
In true TurtleShroom fashion, and because such things comfort me, please allow me to write Mournful Law in that democratic wiki-lawyer gibberish that so soothes and delights me.
BILL[edit]
THE COC AMENDUM: A SERIES OF EMERGENCY ENACTMENTS TO HOLD TURTLESHROOM'S
ACTIVITY AT ITS CURRENT LEVEL IN TIMES OF GREAT MOURNING AND STRESS
CONVENED APRIL 25TH 2010
This Bill should be reffered to as Mournful Law.
OVERVIEW[edit]
IT IS DEEMED NECESSARY IN TURTLESHROOM'S WEARY MIND to implement emergency powers to ease his stress and allow him to stop any stress from appearing on sight, so that he may continue to edit with his dear friends on the Club Penguin Fanon Wiki.
THE VOTE FOR THIS BILL, if deemed needed, shall last five days, and the end result with the majority shall take immediate effect.
Removing votes for or against, or gaming the system for either side, shall result in large bans.
Votes may be expressed in the blog commentary section.
ARTICLE ONE: GOVERNANCE[edit]
UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, all upgrades, future edits, and extended implementations of Club Penguin Fanon:Policy shall be put on extensive moratorium. They will, of course, remain in effect as-is.
THE POLICIES OF CONSENSUS are not to be edited or expanded on, to be locked in this position until Mournful Law is lifted.
THE FORMER DOCTRINES, that is, project:Code of Conduct, shall remain in their current state, undeleted and partially binding, as it is now.
THE TRANSITION OF POLICY from COC to Holy Consensus shall be halted for the duration of Mournful Law, and the current transitive state shall be Law, exactly as it is at the writing of this Bill, until Mournful Law ends.
ARTICLE TWO: EMERGENCY IMPLEMENTATIONS[edit]
ALL HOLY CONSENSUS, for the duration of Moratorium, shall come to a complete halt. No new policies, unless deemed essential by a Sysop, Bureaucrat, Rollback, or other User, shall be implemented, edited, or changed.
THE "CLUB PENGUIN FANON WIKI: POLICY" shall take a back seat to the current transitional order, remaining in limbo in conjunction with the COC, also in limbo, to retain the current governance and stable free-reign that sits within the transition.
PROJECT TERN shall be put on hold until Mournful Law is finished, unless the Wiki is so drastically altered as to be unusable or extremely inconvienent to edit at, or if the Shout Box is deleted, or if the general Masses so demand Project Tern to be implemented.
THE ANNUAL FINAL SOLUTION is to be suspended until Mournful Law ends (even though said legislation is not expected to extend much farther than Christmas).
TURTLESHROOM'S PATERNAL GRANDFATHER, nor his condition, nor his health, is to ever be ridiculed, defamed, insulted, or mocked on the Shout Box or elsewhere, to TurtleShroom or behind his back, at any time under Mournful Law.
THE DEAD OF ANY USER, and death itself, in Mournful Law, shall be treated with utmost respect and reverence, and not be subject to any insults or jokes on CPFW or abroad, particularly Un-CP.
INSTANCES OF SPEAKING OUT AGAINST MOURNFUL LAW, outside of beneficial or constructive criticism, shall be deleted.
NO BLOCKS shall be administered for simply speaking.
HATERS are not to give any of their disrespectful lip against Mournful Law or TurtleShroom. All criticism is to be delivered respectfully and without sarcasm or insults, or anything resembling it.
THE CLAUSE BARRING THE RUINING OF OTHERS' DAYS is to become enforced under Mournful Law.
ARTICLE THREE: EMERGENCY STRESS REDUCTION ELEMENTS[edit]
ALL SYSOPS AND BUREAUCRATS shall be given the authority to, on contact and at whim, terminate any debate, dicsussion, or Consensus that could pose a threat to the stability of the database, either at their desire or the desire of others.
NO DEMOTION PETITIONS SHALL BE HELD for any Sysop or Bureaucrat, unless said user goes mad with power or feverishly abuses the authority granted to him or her.
A SYSOP OR BUREAUCRAT may not use the first clause in this Article to terminate their own Demotion petition.
SYSOPS AND BUREAUCRATS SHALL CONTINUE TO delete Shout Box Commentary whenever deemed neccesary and for any reason.
THE PENALTY FOR SITE DESTABALIZATION SHALL BE EXTENDED to an indefinite banishment.
TURTLESHROOM IS FORBIDDEN to block a user for site destabilization, without the consent of three other users.
BLOGS MAY BE DELETED at any time, at the discretion of the Sysop or Bureaucrat, to maintain stability or reduce stress.
THIS LEGISLATION, IRREGARDLESS OF PASSAGE OR REJECTION, shall not be bashed in commentary.
ANY DEBATE WHICH EVEN NEARS FLAME WAR STATUS may be terminated by protection or deletion of the page at whim of a Sysop or Bureaucrat.
NO USER SHALL SPEAK IN THE SHOUT BOX WHEN TURTLESHROOM IS PRESENT on hearts, pacemakers, cardiac arrest, the circulatory system, or death, unless they are providing status updates for a friend, relative, loved one, or other person dear to them that is in bad condition. They are also not to suggest treatments or possible "fixes" for TurtleShroom's grandfather, as all treatments have been exhausted.
THE IRC CONSOLE is exempt from this.
FAILURE TO COMPLY will result in the Shout Box being Wiped.
NO USER is to bring up TurtleShroom's grandfather other than requests of his status while he is present, or to wish him well, health, comfort, etc. etc. .
THE IRC CONSOLE is exempt from this.
THIS DOES NOT APPLY when TurtleShroom is not present on the Shout Box.
FAILURE TO COMPLY will result in the Shout Box being Wiped.
ALL CURRENT PUNISHMENTS FOR SPEAKING OF THE UN-CP, where applicable, are to be doubled, and the Strike System reduced in this subject to one warning.
CPFW USERS WHO DARE RIDICULE TURTLESHROOM'S SITUATION AND/OR HIS PATERNAL GRANDFATHER ON THE UN-CP and elsewhere are to be reported and blocked for their slander in CPFW jurisdiction until the termination of Mournful Law. Losing a loved one is not something to insult.
THE INSULT MAY NOT be dismissed as a joke.
SYSOPS AND BUREAUCRATS RESERVE THE RIGHT to block and terminate undesirable protests, debates, and petitions at their whim, at any time.
NO LINKS OR REFERENCES to topics deemed disturbing, upsetting, saddening, or frightening shall be used or displayed during Matial Law. Sysops and Bureaucrats reserve the right to delete items meeting this criteria by any means neccesary, if they view said item to be disturbing. (For example purposes, River Twygz ambiance, describing the Giygas battle as "aborting a fetus", and links that may "damage innocence" count as meeting this criteria.)
THE DEFINITION OF THE CRITERIA ABOVE varies from user to user. All users reserve the right to report distrubing content and have it removed.
ALL CURRENT ITEMS that meet the above critieria are to be grandfathered for the duration of Mournful Law and onwards.
SYSOPS AND BUREAUCRATS reserve the right to delete any rude, sarcastic, smart-aleck, or otherwise rude and disrespectful commentary in any blog or discussion at any time, other than removing a user's legit vote. (In this case, the comment is to be removed but the signature, and thus the vote, shall be retained.)
SYSOPS AND BUREAUCRATS RESERVE THE RIGHT to implement these laws at their whim, opinion, and discretion, excluding TurtleShroom, whom must provide warnings before using these powers.
ARTICLE FOUR: TERMINATION[edit]
MOURNFUL LAW SHALL LAST for the duration of TurtleShroom's paternal grandfather's remaining life, and then on to two weeks after his death is announced.
MOURNFUL LAW SHALL SUNSET ON DECEMBER THIRTEENTH if the above criteria fails to occur by this time. On sunset, the Community and TurtleShroom may decide whether or not to extend the Law until the above criteria is met. Failure to extend results in termination of Mournful Law.
MOURNFUL LAW MAY NOT EXTEND PAST SEPTEMBER 2011 for any reason.
MOURNFUL LAW CAN BE TERMINATED at the request of thirteen users at any time in its existance. A petition to remove Mournful Law can not be deleted or challenged. All petitions of termination are finished after five days of open voting.
ARTICLE FIVE: RE-USE AND ALTERNATIVES[edit]
MOURNFUL LAW MAY BE RE-USED FOR ANY OTHER USER, regardless of status, as they so need at any time, in case they begin to lose lvoed ones and feel the need to reduce stress on the site by its implementation.
ALL USERS RESERVE THE RIGHT to suggest the instatement a form of Mournful Law to suit their own needs in times of strife.
ALL USERS RESERVE THE RIGHT to suggest alternatives or solutions that they deem superior to this bill in an effort to ease the stress currently existing. (AUTHOR'S NOTE: In other words, if you have a better idea to help me than Mournful Law, by all means, suggest it... unless your "suggestion' is to ignore it, suck it up, and move on, because death is not that easy.)
