Wheelbarrel

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Wheelbarrel
[[File:|250px]]
Built to protect and move slowly.
Information
Type Defensive transport vehicle
Effects Stuns those who try to touch it, transports troops and agents
Source Metalmanager
Location Battlefields and Secret Agent Missions
Cost to buy Not for sale
Cost to sell Not for sale



The Wheelbarrel is a non-drivable vehicle built by the EPF and engineered by Metalmanager along with scientists and engineers at the EPF head command room. Used to test new EPF agents or used to protect against enemies, it will stun those who make contact with it.

Background[edit]

It began a year or so back, at the peak of war. Metalmanager, downtrodden as he so often is, retreated to the sanctuary of writing lamentations. Today, he was disappointed at villainy. At the time, the Great Darktonian Pie War stood at its peak.

Sitting down and beginning to write, he fashioned this out of his sadness.

Evil. It's around me, and it's always around me.
I resist evil, forming a barrier of good around my being, but I know not how long this evil can be held off.
Evil. It's around me.
I drive through the drudgery of my miserable life, shielded by my good intentions and disposition.
Evil. It's around me.
Yet, I see hope, an unreachable speck up in the distance. What is this hope? How does it help?
I can stun evil if I do good, but I am stunned at the amount of evil there is to stun.
Evil. It's around me.
I must march on, never ceasing, always trying to do what's right.
...-because evil. It's around me.
So I am sad.

It was then that our favorite pessimist was hit by INSPIRATION, and it was HUGE!

Stunning evil was the key! In big battles, lots of troops needed to be taken to a place quickly. Many types of villains can swarm, say, a Judgey Tank or Pie Tank easily and hinder or destroy its progress. Not so, though, with this item!

"What if", the Emoist genius theorized, "What if we could produce a sturdy, bullet and snowball-proof vehicle immune to touch?"

It was for this reason that Metalmanager created the Wheelbarrel.

Description[edit]

The Wheelbarrel gets its name from its shape. It looks and is shaped like a barrel, turned horizontally, with caterpillar tracks (like that of a tank). On its left and right sides are windows, on its top is a viewing area, and in the front is an acryllic windshield that can not easily be broken.

The machine glows a bright green, however, because it is coated in pure Ditto A. Only the handle on the door is exempt from this thick coat of paralyzing chemical.

The Wheelbarrel can carry up to twenty creatures and the driver, plus one weapon for each, and also a coffee maker (built in). Its engine is in the back in a raised section of the barrel.

The vehicle is about the size of a school bus, and it runs on diesel fuel (because MM could care less about the hippies).

Defense[edit]

Wheelbarrels do not carry weapons; their purpose is to transport creatures without being attacked. Unarmed, they travel slowly and have extremely thick walls and windshields to protect their occupants from weapons.

The powerful Ditto on the side instantly stuns any creature that comes in contact with it, rendering it untouchable from the outside. The handle to the door, of course, is not coated, but the sturdy and multiple locks on the door prevent creatures from entering.

They are used for troop transport across a battlefield or war-zone, and are not street legal or drivable by civilians (and they can't own one, either). Only soldiers, agents, and special friends of Metalamanager can own and operate one, and of course, they require a license.

There are about one hundred fifty Wheelbarrels in existence, most of the owned by the USA. However, and always seeking to sell at the best price, Metalmanager allowed one to be purchased by Lichenblossom, one by Sparka, and seven by Snowzerland.

EPF use and varients[edit]

Smaller versions of the Wheelbarrel are used for transporting EPF agents to places they need to be. There are seven passenger and one-passenger versions, respectively, with then one passenger lacking caterpillar tracks.

All Wheelbarrels have, in tests, been proven to prevent creatures the size of Herbert P. Bear himself from touching the thing, stunning them on contact, making them an excellent military and agent transport vehicle.

Trivia[edit]

  • Its prototype name was "Dittobarrel".
  • Metalmanager thought that he needed to go to MobileShroom for permission to build his item. The Car Czar smiled and explained that he was in charge of the business end of the auto industry, not the cars themselves, and that he could do as he wished. However, in a display of philantrophy and in respect for Metalmanager's passion to help the world, he decided to fund MM's project.

See also[edit]