Whoot Smackler Whoot
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Whoot Smackler Whoot describes events that happened in the Past, as researched by the Time Agency. Be aware that these events are not in the Present or the Future, just the Past. They may be dead, torn down, or simply nonexistent in the present.
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|Whoot Smackler Whoot|
Official commissioned portrait of Whoot, painted at the peak of the Khanzem's Third Reich
Chief Mark of the Naughtzee (official) |
|Race||Little Penguin, specifically Khanz Penguin|
|Faction||Credited with singlehandedly overthrowing the High Penguin Confederacy.|
|Status||Dead. Formerly telling about his life to awestruck historians and/or small groups of penguins at the nursing center.|
|Location||Snowflake Valley Retirement Home, Club Penguin.|
|Birth date||a long time ago|
|Enemies||Triskelle, Speeddasher, Harold Aye-Que|
|Whoot Smackler Whoot|
|Chief Mark of the Khanzem Nation, Military Head of the Naughtzee (full, official title) |
"Teh "fU|-|r3Rzz!" (unofficial, preferred)
|Reign||1915 to the Fall of Khanzem|
|Coronation||1915, via coup.|
|Full name||Whoot Smackler Whoot|
Snowflake Valley Patient #4-30-1945
Pengolian War Hero
|Died||May 8th, 2015 at the age of 122.|
|Predecessor||Arvedui (couped out of office)|
|Royal anthem||The Pie in Your Face! cacophony.|
|Royal motto||Can I Get a Whoot Whoot?|
Whoot Smackler Whoot (1893-2015) was a crazy, albeit lovable (to the general public) Khanz Penguin who somehow talked, conned, and schemed his way into singlehandedly overthrowing the High Penguin Confederacy. To this day, historians reference Smackler as "one of the greatest conquerors of yore", which angers the High Penguins to endless extents. He is known for having set up the Khanzem Third Reich, and nearly took over the entirety of the continent of Antarctica. Officially, he was the Chief Mark of the Naughtzee, though he resented this title, and instead was called The "fU|-|r3Rzz!", which he deemed more appropriate than the HP title.
Whoot was born near what is now Pengolia, to ethnic Khanz parents. During this time, the entire continent was controlled under the High Penguin Confederacy. His parents soon realized that Smackler was different. First off, the newly-hatched Whoot had white down feathers on his beak. His parents thought this would go away. Then, seven months after hatching, Whoot began to speak. In about a month after he cleared the Mwa Mwa penguin stage of speech, the chick proceeded into learning words. In a year and a half, he could say complete sentences.
When Whoot was two years old, he could speak in big (and often "made up") words, such as "Czechslovakia" (his parents always loved when he said that). When he was three years old, he could speak fluent English. In his chickhood, Whoot was like any other penguin (Khanz or not), playing with the then-abundant High Penguin population, as well as the Lesser-Penguins. The Confederacy dispersed its population evenly over the continent, so Whoot was never alone.
In a retirement home interview, the ancient Smackler could recall his youth:
"Well, I was not always the *cough* pie-throwing kind of strategic warrior you youngins read about. When I was just a chick, I learned to throw... *wheeze* snowballs."
...and throw he did. When Smackler was seven years old, he was the most feared penguin in any snowball fight. Everyone wanted him on their team, despite looking different from the others, even different from other Khanz penguins.
Whoot also commented on his looks as a youth in the retirement home interview:
"I was always better-looking then most of the other whippersnappers out there. Though, even after I shed my down feathers, I never lost those white ones on my beak. I also am proud to state that I ended up growing real hair when I was older, not at all like those cheap wigs ya'll buy at that, that, *cough* non state-owned Gift Shop down the road!"
- The elderly Whoot would normally reach from his wheelchair after finishing that statement, ripping off the nearest wigged penguin, smiling with old-person delight as they cried. It was very rare that he would grab a penguin with real hair.
Whoot had a happy chickhood, mostly involving tossed snowballs, and later, pies. As he grew older, he realized more about the world around him. When he was thirteen years old, he started to dislike the High Penguin rule, believing that they were oppressing the Lesser Penguins.
In the interview:
When I was but a wee little penguin, I was blissfully unaware of the *cough* oppression that those Most High Noob-Faces held over the superior penguins; that's you and I, fellow penguins.
- The other, young penguins would normally "ooh and aah" at Whoot's bold statement (even the new, modern generations knew the mythical High Penguins were better). If any High Penguin was ever in the crowd, they would normally scream punctuation marks and bitterly curse the elderly Khanz Penguin, often with inverted punctuation marks.
- Whoot continued from there:
Anyway, I would waddle around, looking at the Noob-Face flags, buildings, public works, ect. Everything had some sort of picture or reference to the Noob-Faces on them! It was mad!
Even though it bothered Smackler, he dismissed the High Penguin images that surrounded him. Then, when he was thirteen years and six months old, he made a life-changing mistake.
Whoot can remember that day on any occasion:
That cold winter day changed my life. A parade was being held through my hometown. It was a parade of *cough* EVIL! Every two years, those snobbish Noob-Faces would ride in great splendor. First would be their Chief Mark, then their army commander... followed by rows of soldiers, local state-kings, citizens, and for some reason, they always had some penguin named Joe Plumber, parading in the very back, throwing toilet paper to the chicks, waving a plunger like a sceptor, dressed in overalls with a fake mustache... which the Noob-Faces apparently thought was the common penguin.
- Whoot would then pause, letting everyone get the idea in, and continue.
I was kind of sick of being represented by a plumber in a jewel clad parade, so I tossed a snowball at the nearest Noob-Face. If I recall, it was a dark green penguin wearing a tacky crown with blue orbs... I can't quite remember his name... Anyway, I threw my snowball at the aforementioned penguin, Triskelle! That was his name! Yes. I threw it at Triskelle. He stopped the parade and looked staright at me... the last thing I can remember was a giant boisenberry pie coming at me.
- When I woke up, programmer only knows what happened... all I knew was that a Noob-Face hit me with a pie, that Noob-Faces were annoying, that Noob-Faces ad pictures of themselves everywhere, and that they had swimming pools. Really nice swimming pools. As I lay *cough* in the snow, I knew exactly what I was going to do with my life... make history. *wheeze*
Whoot decided to master throwing pies, as he did with snowballs. As he grew older, he learned that bending a pie tin correctly made it curve, that throwing it like a Frisbee made it go farther, and that boisenberry was the stickiest. Small pies could be thrown overhanded and soar, big ones could not. He learned all about pie, what flavors, what sizes, where to get them dirt-cheap. By the time he was the twenty four years old, he was ready to "make history". He led a group of rebels to take down the HPC, but was stopped and thrown in jail. While in jail he wrote a book called "My Story' which serves as a memoir and had his opinion on how bad High Penguins were. Eventually he was released from jail and tried to become popular to get a position in the government.
You know what I did from there, youngins. I commenced justice upon the Noob-Faces, tackled their regime, and nearly freed the continent of the *cough* *wheeze* Noob-Face menace! Oh, in my prime, I was unstoppable! Untouchable! Willman Tabernaclemountain, I took his momma! Yes, and any Noob-Face that dare comes back to see me, I'll------...........
- A nursing home assistant would come and lower his oxygen tank by then, causing him to fall asleep before he becomes hyper.
Later life and death
In 2009, Whoot had learned computer code cracking, and changed the dietitian's password at Snowflake Valley Nursing Home. He changed the menu for ten years, and since noone but Whoot knew the password, they'll still be having delicious food until 2019. Whoot lived a very long life for a "Superior Being", as he called the Lesser Penguins, and especially a Khanz penguin, eventually passing away on May 8th, 2015, at the ripe old age of 122. His death received mixed emotions around Antarctica, with many High Penguin majority countries celebrating his death while many Neo-Naughtzees mourned his death.
Acadia, a majority High Penguin country, made it a major priority after its founding to assassinate Whoot for his crimes against High Penguins. The Acadian National Security Service made multiple plans to assassinate Whoot and even trained special teams to carry out any of the operations when the time came, but in the end the Acadian government made no move to assassinate Whoot. Many of these plans involved the government of Freezeland, another majority High Penguin country, but it is not known if Freezelandian officials knew of said plans or even planned to assassinate Whoot themselves. After his death in 2015, some of these plans were declassified and shown to the public, but it is speculated that many more continue to be classified.
He spent his Golden Years in Snowflake Valley Nursing Home, Club Penguin, until his death in 2015. Visiting hours were from 10:30 AM to 8:00 PM Penguin Standard Time, Monday-Friday. Anyone could meet the little dictator during that time. Whoot Smackler Whoot loved to tell that certain story over and over again to any visitors that he had.
- Smackler, after decades of time, is actually well liked by the general public, except for High Penguins, due to the war crimes he committed against the High Penguins, and meeting a living historical figure is special.
- However, the remaining High Penguins dispise the ancient autocrat, citing him as "destroying paridise", "driving them crazy", and basically "ruining Antarctica".
- The HPs are stunned that anyone would like anyone from Khanzem, but as Triskelle (Whoot's greatest enemy) puts it...
These generations know nothing about Khanzem, just what the books say. If I could do it all over again, I would have locked that little chick in jail, had I known what he would do to the High Penguins. I would gladly have thrown another pie. I regret nothing.
- Smackler currently sits in a wheelchair, attached to an oxygen tank, in a large room with chairs (for visitation). He also has an authentic Khanzem Flag hanging in the back.
- He is still crazy, and still calls High Penguins "Most High Noob-Faces".
- Do you seriously need to know his parody? Look in the bulletin below then!
- The Sapie Brothers call him a "Nazi".
He's that guy named Adolf Hitler!!! Seriously, I have seen these "Nazis" and the were like... so despising. I dunno why but I kinda like him. What we know now is that I will conquer everyone and the whole world! Face my power SWEEDEN! MAHAHAHAHAWith that, Alex12345a left the conference room.
- The Furry Flats made a song about him called Whoot Smackler Whoot Whoot
- Speeddasher is one of Whoot's greatest enemies. The two had a big sword battle during the days of Khanzem. Speed almost won, but then Whoot pulled a cheap move and had various tanks fire at Speed until he passed out. Speed was then put into stasis where he remained for around 90 years.
- Jake Lovesfish hates him and has kicked his butt before not once but 20 times.
- Flywish has intentional hate for him and wishes to beat him to a pulp.
- Snowflake Valley Retirement Home
- High Penguin Confederacy
- Khanz Penguin