Wiki the Cat
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|“||Can't u see that we all live in a Wikipedia? It's obvious!||”|
— Wiki the Cat
|Wiki the Cat|
ZOMG IT'S WIKI THE CAT!
Wiki "Wiki the Cat" Whitepaw|
July 3, 1985
|Other names||Dat Kat, Weird Cat|
|Occupation||Breaking the Fourth Wall, doing things|
|Notable works||Breaking the Fourth Wall|
|Known for||Able to break the fourth wall whenever he wants to|
He loves breaking the Fourth Wall.
|His son has a paranoia of ROFL Waffles.|
Not to be confused with Wikipenguino45
Wiki the Cat (real name Wiki Whitepaw) is one of the few cats that entered Antarctica via the Cat Arch, and since staying in Antarctica, he likes to break the Fourth Wall. He has a son named ROFLWaffle Cat, who happens to have a paranoia of ROFL Waffles. Nobody knows who Wiki the Cat's parents are, as he doesn't usually like to talk, unless he wants to. For some reason, he says that everybody in the universe controlled by a group of penguins (most notably a certain puffle and a certain tern), as well all of the events that happen. Almost everybody dismisses this, but curiously a small amount of creatures think that he is correct. However, another of his theories is that everybody lives in something called a "Wikipedia", which everybody else thinks is false. He is a nice cat, however, and many penguins and puffles like him. For an unknown and unexplained reason, his main and only opponent is Serious Cat.
He is a very good story-teller, and often, he invites other penguins and creatures to his igloo and tells them stories, to entertain them and get some company. This is why a queue of sometimes lonely creatures wait outside Wiki's igloo early in the morning, so they can be the first to gather around his fireside and hear his tales. However, when asked to write them down, he is often reluctant, and although he has told (estimated) more than a thousand stories in his life, only 30 have been written down and reproduced.
He is also a part-time astronomer, and has a peculiar liking with dwarf planets. He knows every known fact about every discovered planet (especially with dwarf planets), and every night he goes on his igloo's balcony and looks at the stars with his extremely strong telescope, hoping to discover a new planet, star or a dwarf planet himself. Only once, on a fateful day in 2016, he discovered an extremely small dwarf planet (which eventually became a comet and disintegrated) and named it the "Waffle-Cat 0.1", after his son.
Early LifeWiki the Cat was born on July 3rd, 1985, as Wiki Whitepaw to two happy and proud cats. Because he isn't a very important cat, not much of his early life is researched, but it is known for certain that unlike now, he was a very talkative cat who liked researching information, but was completely unaware that he was born to two LOL Cats. As a kitten, he loved astronomy, and almost everyday he inserted references to it. However, he was surprisingly a very fluffy kitten, unlike now.
Nothing stopped him from liking astronomy and extreme fluffiness, however, and he kept on doing this for many years until he was 14 in cat years, and in a slight moment of embarrassment about his fur, he asked his parents if there was a way to stop being fluffy. When his parents said that there wasn't, he got over it and carried on with his studies and astronomy for not only was he a very talkative cat, he was also a very patient cat. As he was very clever, he entered university early (much to the delight of his parents) and graduated at age 16. According to the limited research, nothing very special happened to him.
He soon decided that he would need a job, so he was employed at a cat factory, to make cans of tuna. Unfourtunately, the pay was bad and it was boring, so he tried to quit and find another job. But fourtune wasn't with Wiki on his second day there, as the employers desperately needed employers and wouldn't let any other cat quit. He eventually thought up of a plan to quit, by not coming for three days, on the fourth day hiding somewhere unknown so the employer couldn't find him, and finally returning to his house twenty days later. This plan worked, and he was free to choose a new job at last. This time he got employed as a secretary to an important cat, and was given good payment and eventually good entertainment. However, he was adventurous too and got bored as the days went by, so he wanted to be pardoned by the cat so he could explore the region. When he was exploring a forest, he met his future wife (name unknown) entangled in a vine, and as Wiki helped her escape he began liking her, and vice-versa. After some years of doing secret adventures together, and as it is legal for cats to marry at a young age, they eventually married when they were 23 (in cat years), in January 2009.
A few months later, his wife gave birth to their son, ROFLWaffle Cat, on July 3rd, which happened to be both their birthdays. They were very happy about this, and celebrated late into the night. One day after this, sadly, Wiki was fired for not coming for the cat's grand meeting with his family the day ROFLWaffle Cat was born. They now needed to find a new job, and luckily Wiki's wife earned a well-paid job as a university teacher, so Wiki could spend the rest of the day with his son. Once again, Wiki's life became happy, for he and his wife now had a son and still had enough money.
Many years later, when his son was 15 (4 in penguin years), in 2013, Wiki went out with his family for a walk in the countryside. Suddenly, they saw a rainbow and silver arch with the words "CAT" inscribed on the top. ROFLWaffle Cat, being a rebelliously adventurous kitten, pounced into it without warning and disappeared. Worried, Wiki told his wife that they should both go and search for their "darling Waffle", and together they pounced in. A surprise awaited them, as they did not get to the other side of the hill they were on, but they were thrown into a vortex of bright colours (much like a starry sky), and for what seemed like forever Wiki saw and grabbed onto a passing time machine, and in a couple of seconds he suddenly appeared in a new, snowy landscape - a place he had never seen before. Not far from him was his dear son ROFLWaffle Cat, but his wife was not to be seen.
They searched for her, and the next day, giving up hope, left the area in search of a decent place to stay. They trudged on, saw some small, fluffy round creatures, and eventually found a steep cliff and the remains of a very strange-looking sledge, as well as a rope and an old, rusty anchor. Wiki had a fine idea, and with the help of ROFLWaffle Cat he tied one end of the rope to the anchor, swung it with all his might and hooked the edge of the cliff. They climbed it, and were now standing in the Ski Hill, with penguins bustling here and there to look for a sled race. Seeing how everybody was standing upright unlike he and his son, Wiki stood on his hind legs for the first time and encouraged for his son to do the same. They then waddled over to the chair lifts, and sat on the seats to go down the hill.
At the bottom of the hill, using Wiki's rudimentary understanding of English, Wiki asked a tour guide where to find a house. The tour guide replied that "he could rent a house" very cheaply on the spot. Wiki therefore used the tour guide's smartphone to rent the cheapest house they could find, and after 10 minutes of doing activities for the coins they needed they finally paid the owner of the igloo and settled in, with hot fish soup made for them. The next day, they began doing odd jobs to buy an igloo of their own because they were not comfortable staying with a penguin at the time, and eventually got their own igloo.
The igloo that Wiki and his son bought happened to be previously owned by an ex-astronomer, who got tired of astronomy and left his equipment behind in the igloo. When Wiki and his son settled in the igloo and began exploring the house, ROFLWaffle Cat discovered a cabinet filled with telescopes, globes, books, maps of the stars and small models of the planets. As he had almost no memory of his childhood passions, this interested Wiki greatly, and as soon as he put his eye through the lens he discovered a wonderful sight - the enlarged picture of the several thousand strands of fur his son had, along with a stray flea that happened to cling on to his fur while being transported to Club Penguin. He suddenly remembered in an instant that one of his passions and hobbies was being an astrologist, and immediately ran up to the balcony and faced the telescope to the sky.
Wiki the Cat has been doing the same thing every night ever since, eating fish soup while doing this. Because of his obsession of scampering up to the balcony to see the stars, not only has he become a part-time astronomer but he is also now a good story teller, mostly associated with stars and constellations. Many a time, penguins and puffles alike have been let into the igloo by ROFLWaffle Cat, and are told wonderful stories whenever Wiki finally climbs down. However, some penguins who visit him often (including ROFLWaffle Cat) claim that "he has become a bit dotty" after staring at the stars for so many nights, as he can now break something called "the Fourth Wall" and have heard strange voices telling him what will happen next in the day and is often heard talking back to them. He also has a strange belief that a group of penguins with typewriters can erase anything by typing away on them.
It is unknown whether he is involved in anything apart from being a part-time astronomer, but he is known that whenever he goes out of the igloo, he sometimes goes on a short quest to try and convince other animals with his "Fourth-Wall-typewriter" theory (as it is known as), but these are usually unsuccessful. Perhaps this is because his only proof is the fearsome 9001 Steps, about which very, very few penguins are willing to talk about.
However, sometimes, he finds somebody who does agree with the theory, and with these penguins he tells them about his second, newer theory that there are "readers" that are watching over everybody. Unfortunately, as soon as he mentions the part about the "readers", these penguins say that they are in a hurry to go to somewhere which is never specified to him, but if Wiki pursues the penguin he sometimes gets a strange feeling that time was suddenly reverted to the part of the conversation when the penguin is telling him that he is late for work and is waddling away.
Because he is his father, their relationships are stable enough. However, because ROFLWaffle Cat is concerned over his father's theory of the Fourth Wall and is continuously refusing to believe it, their relationship is beginning to weaken. However, they still love each other and have never lost their tempers with each other and like going to the cinema together.
- Can't u see that we all live in a Wikipedia? It's obvious!
- Wantt to hear my theory abt de Frth wll?
- All our soverentgy are belung to them!
- He has a few variations on this, for example:
- Ale oor decishuns are belng to us!
- All are conspiracytheory are beloong to us!
- All my thing are belong to that!
- This is, in all likeliness, apocryphal. He has no interest in material things. What's more, the spelling is perfect.
- Alll oere akshuns are belong tu them!
- Please, add more!
Wiki the Cat: Of crse I can! Letme begin with a coupplee of lines from Hoperateon Himprobabwle.
ROFLWaffle Cat: Um, ok?
Wiki the Cat: Or mybe I should hurryup with deciding what ta'do, after all, we don't want to delay the readers!
ROFLWaffle Cat: ...ok?
Wiki the Cat: Noww, first, youhave to remember that everything is contrlled by a couple of penguins, puffles and birdscalled terns and evnts are actually "stories", and that thse events can be erased in just one keystroke on their comput-
ROFLWaffle Cat: ...I think I'll come back later...
Wiki the Cat: Hiya dere, wanna hear my theory about the Frth wll?
Random penguin with suitcase: Sure.
(After some minutes of conversation, Wiki suddenly mentions about "readers".)
Random penguin with suitcase: Ok, sorry but I really gotta go to my workplace now, I'm getting late.
Wiki the Cat: But-
Random penguin with suitcase: Bye!
(The penguin walks away, leaving Wiki in confusion.)
Wiki the Cat: Hiya dere, wanta here mah theory about the Frth wall?
Random penguin with computer: Ok!
(After 5 minutes of chatting peacefully, the penguin realizes that he is late for work.)
Random penguin with computer: Sorry, my friend, but I'm late for work. Good-bye!
Wiki the Cat: Can u pls wait for some few mins? Plsss!
(After a minute of pursuing the penguin, the penguin suddenly rollbacked the scene with a gun, right up to the moment the penguin said he was getting late for work.)
Wiki the Cat (as the penguin leaves): W-w-wht?
- Often, he tries to convince ROFLWaffle Cat that a group of creatures control the universe.
- He doesn't believe this, however.
- Some creatures think Wiki is mad.
- Obviously, Wiki isn't mad.
- However, most penguins who are dictionary nerds call him a "blatherskite".
- He lets his son stay in his igloo.
- Whenever he breaks the Fourth Wall, almost nobody else but he can hear one or two bricks break.
- He has joined a forum-board, specializing in astronomy and astrology. Unfortunately, he is always attacked by a fellow LOLCat, the Chesshire LOLCat, for continuously forgetting to sign his posts.