Winky and Briana Beronews

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Winky and Briana Beronews
Winky and briana.png
Dan's Sisters...
Title They'll take over Holyberden!
Gender Female
Race Emperor Penguins
Faction Dan's Family
Health One is a genius, the other's insane!
Level EVIL!
Status Failing to destroy TSP
Location the Beronews igloo, Mattress Village, TA
Occupation EVIL
Interests Destroying TS
Friends Unknown
Enemies TurtleShroom
Archetype Evil?

Winky and Briana Beronews are Dan's sisters. Led entirely by Briana, the sisters make attempts to kill off TurtleShroom's Family so that the Beronews Family can take over Holyberden! Of course, they always fail.



They hatched to the same parents as Dan Beronews, the same family igloo, the same small village. Briana was a chick prodigy, but she could never break the Fourth Wall, nor did she have knowledge of it. Winky on the other hand... well... she wasn't so smart. She could break the Fourth Wall, but wasn't smart enough to understand it or control it. They never played much with the other chicks, nor did they ever think about jobs. They were mostly shut-ins and never had a real childhood.


They didn't have jobs, and were living with their busy brother. They stayed at home while he worked. They soon found out about Holyberden, and Briana decided that their family would one day take it over and destroy TSP. Winky just went along with it because Briana told her to. They are unsuccessful every time, and it always blows up in their face. The Joneses aren't even aware of them.


Few creatures say as much entertaining dialog as the Beronews sisters.

Are you contemplating...[edit]

It seems that Winky breaks the Fourth Wall the most when she's asked a question she can't understand. At the start of every scheme, Briana asks Winky if she's "contemplating" what she is (AKA "are you thinking what I'm thinking?"). Obviously, Winky isn't, but her response is always entertaining to hear.

  • Briana: Winky, are you contemplating what I'm contemplating?
Winky: I think so Briana, but how would you go outside wearing those shoes with that dress?
Winky: I think so Briana, but if he's really a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action... how can it be a he?
Winky: I think so Briana, but why did Benny destroy Ivan with a tornado?
Winky: NARF!
Winky: I think so Briana, but if he's happy for you and he's going to let you finish, why does he keep talking?
Winky: I think so Briana, but if Explorer was called "Traveller", wouldn't that be sorta dumb?
Winky: I think so Briana, but Presidente should strengthen his army BEFORE the rebels attack! Narf!
Winky: I think so Briana, but aren't you 'gonna wear something else today?
Winky: I think so Briana, but does TurtleShroom really call up Explorer on Saturday for six hours?
Winky: I think so Briana, but where would you get so much chalk?
Winky: I think so Briana, but if I'm not, will you hit me?
Winky: I think so Briana, but wait right there. I need to choose a good TurtleShroom-destroying outfit first. Narf.
Winky: I think so Briana, but his gavel is larger than most gavels here!


Winky: Briana, what are we going to do today?
Briana: The same thing we do every day, Winky: TRY AND DESTROY THE TURTLESHROOM!
Dan: All right Winky, Briana, I'm off to work. You be good, okay?
Winky and Briana: Okay.
(Dan leaves; Briana rolls out a blueprint)
Briana: Now, to kill that penguin, we take this Snow Ball Gun and aim at TurtleShroom's-
(Dan comes back in to get his hat, while Briana crumbles up the blueprint and looks at Dan sweetly)
Dan: .....................
Winky: NARF!
Dan: Winky, you really have problems, you know that?
(Winky drools, Dan leaves)
Briana: Well played, my accomplice!
Winky: What did I do?
Briana: You drove off Dan with your act!
Winky: .....narf?
Briana: I can't believe we're related.


  • Winky: NARF!
  • Briana: Winky, don't make me hurt you.
  • Briana: YES!


  • These are parodies of Pinky and the Brain from the show of the same name.
  • Winky is the more fashionable of the two, and also much skinnier.
  • Those rolls of fat around Briana's beak are very noticeable by other girls (and they mock her for it).
  • One of the few things Winky knows anything about is fashion. She constantly advises her sister to upgrade her wardrobe.
  • Briana dresses very conservatively. She sees no need for beauty or flirting with male penguins, and prefers to spend what time she could use grooming herself to concoct ideas to kill TurtleShroom. The feeling is mutual, as no boy ever wants her, either.
    • Dan often urges Briana to "be like a normal girl for once" and go shopping, or giggle, or talk on a cell phone, or dress in something that doesn't make her look like a Streber. Briana just sticks up her beak and scoffs at her brother.
  • It is unknown who Dan is more embarrassed of; is it Briana, with her fat, bad fashion sense, and grumpy behaviors? Or is he more ashamed of Winky, with her stupidity, spastic actions, and overall cluelessness? Since Winky at least dresses well, she can go outside... until she holds her flippers at chest height like a rodent and goes "NARF".
  • Winky will accentuate her sentences, especially when surprised, scared, excited, etc. with words like "Narf" and "Zoi".
  • Dan was never told of the parody, but he has his suspicions.
  • They actually have THEIR OWN WING in the Beronews Mansion.

See also[edit]