XYZ System

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Planets X, Y, and Z
XYZ System 1.png
Planet X
XYZ System 2.png
Planets Y and Z.
Planet Z is actually in orbit around Planet Y. Does that make it "Moon Z"?
Key details
Type Two planets, six moons. Planet Z is actually in orbit around Planet Y.
Level From the Stage to Xet
Location Orbiting a mid-sequence star
Inhabitants No life has been discovered on Planets X, Y, or Z. X and Y were inspired by plays, Planet Z is rumored to have an aggressive, imperialistic civilization.


Planets X, Y, and Z, collectively, the XYZ System or The Stage Planets, is a celestial system consisting of two earth-sized planets and six moons. All eight are capable of harboring intelligent life, but none have been proven to possess such.
Planet Z, despite the name, is actually in orbit around Planet Y, and one penguin swears that there is not only life on that moon, but an entire imperialistic civilization.


Description[edit]

  • Planet X's soil composition is theorized to be mostly iron oxide, due to its red color from telescopic views. Even the water is red (the dark red is thought to be water) because of the oxidized iron dissolved in it. It has one grey moon, possibly a captured satellite due to the moon's radically different composition.
  • Planet Y is green. Four of its five moons are also green, which led astronomers to theorize that they formed from material that originated on Planet Y. Planet Z, however, is grey. This is due to a thick scattering of ash and dust covering the moon's surface.
  • Planet Z - which is actually a moon - is geologically active due to heat being released from the core. This suggests that Planet Z's core consists primarily of radioactive isotopes, which can only account for the intense heat being released from the core. Scientists believe that Planet Z and the other moons of Planet Y were formed when a uranium ball (a leftover piece from a nearby supernova) slammed into the proto-Planet Y and tore off tons of debris. The majority of the uranium was embedded in a chunk of magma a third of the size of the current Planet Y, which was flung out into orbit around Planet Y. This chunk became Planet Z. The rest of the debris kicked up by the impact became the rings and moons of Planet Y.

In popular culture[edit]

Planets X and Y were subjects of the popular Stage plays, Space Adventures I and II.

Stage depiction of extraterrestrials[edit]

Planet X was depicted as harboring green, three-eyed penguins without chest patches and with beaks that double as suckers. Planet X penguins chew their food and have opposable thumbs. They do not drink, but love eat.

Planet Y penguins have one eye, are scaly and blue, and seem to have teeth. Their most notable feature is their dis-attached brains, which float in cerebral fluid in helmets fused to the aliens' skulls. Planet Y penguins do not move their beaks or speak. Rather, they communicate telepathically through their brains.


Life[edit]

In actuality, none of the planets harbor intelligent life, or, at least, no life has been discovered on these planets. However, speculation exists, and all three planets have a chance of extraterrestrial beings.

Planet Z life[edit]

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The Empire of Planet Z
MottoFor Planet Y, for Lava Plumes, we march towards VICTORY!!
Location of Planet Z
Planet Z, seen in orbit around Planet Y.
Largest Population Zitizens are evenly distributed throughout their homeland.
Official languages Wingdings, English
Species  Zitizens
Demonym Zitizen
Government Despotic, rigid hierarchy in which the thinnest command the thick majority
 -  The Blessed Thinman Fri Joe
Population
 -  2009 (in earth years) census 11,743,636,543 
Currency Money? What is this "money" you speak of?
Calling code Phones? Phones are obsolete!

The waterless moon of "Planet" Z is a grey, abysmal structure that only receives partial light from the host star at anytime, due to volcanic ash fallout. This bleak, sad satellite is barren and dry as any desert, with volcanoes blasting lava into the sky at random points in time. There is no way that life could exist on Planet Z, unless the creatures somehow adapted to life without water. One thing is certain, though; any abysmal civilization that could ever eek out a miserable existence on Planet Z would be a hearty and vicious species, which would do anything to survive.


Planet Z's civilization[edit]

Planet Z has been largely ruled out by the scientific community as having any chance of extraterrestrial life. Yet, that doesn't stop Sye, a lone, psychotic little penguin obsessed with the paranormal and aliens. He theorizes that Xet, one of his classmates, is in fact an alien that hails from the moon known as "Planet Z".

Furthermore, Sye claims that Xet is one of an entire civilization of vicious, imperialistic creatures, driven by a collective Napoleon complex, which was instilled in the species since its existence due to their home world being smaller and forever overshadowed by Planet Y, which always crowds their sky. He says that the citizens of Planet Z immediately set out to conquer their perceived inferiority by doing just that: conquering. By extending their might to larger planets, the "Zitizens", as they are called, would prove to themselves that the mere alignment of their home world does not mean they are lesser beings (though no one ever thought that in the first place).


Culture[edit]

Sye states that the culture of Planet Z was shaped by the ancient Zitizens. They were keen observers, who beheld their host planet and its other moons, the lava plumes created by their home world, and other environmental factors. The Zitizens thought that they should behave as Planet Z did, and from that came the urge to conquer, obedience, and submission to authority.

Loyalty[edit]

Zitizens are unshakably obedient and loyal to any authority that directly instructs them (i.e. kings, mayors, generals, and in the case of Xet, teachers), for better or worse. The situation of their home world created this behavior. Since Planet Z orbits Planet Y, the alien culture deduced that Planet Z was "loyal" to Planet Y, and like their home world, they too must be loyal to each other, and to their superiors, even when conquering. The "loyalty" to Planet Y also ensures that said planet will never be conquered by the Zitizens. What self-respecting Zitizen would dare conquer their master?

Social hierarchy[edit]

Out of this perception and out of the condition of their moon, a rigid social hierarchy was developed. The leader of Planet Z is chosen based on one characteristic, and one alone: diameter. The skinniest Zitizen alive at any time becomes the leader. When the skinniest Zitizen dies, the second skinniest takes their place, becoming the skinniest.

The choice to rule by girth may stem from Planet Z's harsh environment. Radioactivity in the core releases vast amounts of heat into the mantle, which is comprised mainly of magma. The heat continues outwards into space through huge lava plumes that shoot out of the moon's crust. Clearly, these lava plumes are superior to the Zitizens, as they kill any Zitizen who "dares" to get in their way. Plus, they are much, much taller (and thinner) than themselves. In fact, Zitizens bow low to lava when they see it, as lava is considered vastly superior to them. The lava- like Planet Y -is their conqueror. The whole loyalty thing kicked in, again.

Thinness as a survival trait[edit]

The chubbier the creature, the lower they are in importance. Xet, being a bit plump, was on the lower end of the structure. Unknown the the Zitizens, though, a more compact, squat build would allow for them to survive better on their moon. Adaptively speaking, thin Zitizens die much faster than thick Zitizens. The genetic traits and mutations that create skinny Zitizens would have long naturally died out, but the populace forces the traits to stay alive by feeding, serving, and otherwise catering to the skinnier of their kind. As girth is naturally encoded in their equivalent of genes (Sye's samples of Xet supposedly show a different structure than earthling DNA), there is no way that any Zitizen could become thicker or thinner.


Militarism[edit]

Planet Z also puts heavy emphasis on the military and on invasion. In the case of a domestic, standing army, Sye notes that it is due to the Napoleon complex created by their moon orbiting around the larger Planet Y. The Zitizens determined that their moon, along with the other four moons (including the small, oval-shaped shepherd moon near Planet Y's rings) are "soldiers" of Planet Y, forever intended to protect the planet from any oncoming "asteroid invaders".

They, as the civilization of Planet Z, should do likewise and protect their homeland and Planet Y by invading any item that dares pose a "threat" to them or their masters, or at least, poses a threat to the Zitizens' minds. Since Planet Z and the moons of Planet Y were the defense from incurring asteroid barrages, the Zitizens must be the offense to stop the invaders from coming.

Experts have noted that Planet Z would be very capable of deflecting any incoming asteroids with its gravity, and that the speeds at which the rings of Planet Y revolve would be enough to rip objects passing through to smithereens. The shepherd moons of Planet Y maintain the rings' high speed.

Why target the earth?[edit]
Sye's depiction of the earth, as seen from Planet Z.

This question was one of Sye's biggest, most burning theories.

Zitizens conquer planets, asteroids, and celestial bodies that pose a threat to themselves, Planet Z, or Planet Y. They then use the conquered planet for their own gain.

Zitizens can only view the earth when their home world rotates into the view of a large gravitational lens produced by a nearby star. The lens bends light from the solar system into the direction of the XYZ System, allowing Zitizens to view Earth in its beauty. Their telescopes, after blocking out the Sun's intense glare, see Antarctica, and not the rest of the planet. Consequently, the Zitizens perceived Antarctica as the earth's primary landmass. They further assumed that, because of the white covering the land of the earth, it must be cold. A few splotches of grey, brown, or green could occasionally be seen (the earth's islands), which baffled them.


Sye hypothesizes that the earth may have been targeted because, among other things, the observed earthlings are plump. Furthermore, the earthlings seemed to prefer the cold sheet of ice over the volcanic islands (all they can see is Antarctica and its neighbors), which was a horrible wrongdoing. How dare they not live near their masters, the great Lava Plumes? Among other things, the Zitizens considered conquering the earth because it was "disobeying the lava". (In reality, Antarctica is geologically active at several locations, usually along the coastline.)

However, as they soon learned, the earth also had one small, grey moon, not too different from theirs in appearance. The Zitizens concluded that the earth had conquered that moon, and regardless of the stupidity of the earthlings for not obeying the lava, they would be unable to ever conquer the earth, because the earth had done what Planet Y had done: controlled a natural satellite.

Still, they weighed the difference, and determined that while the earth may be incapable of conquest, they should still try, because of the whole lava thing. However, no one dared to volunteer to be the first wave on the earth. They decided to wait for a "special" Zitizen, one they wouldn't mind loosing, to be the first wave. When Xet created a blackout on half the planet, it was determined that he would be the victim first wave of the earth.

See also[edit]