For Science!

For Science!
Background information
Participants	EDFan12345, Ed Laboratories, Ed Island
Date	2026-2034
Location	Ed Laboratories, Ed Island

The For Science era on Ed Island was one of the craziest there. It involved Ed Laboratories and their growth, centered around the Teleportal.

1)-Why Not?

"And that's why I'm going to keep making these messages!" EDFan said into his microphone, "I might be dying, but that doesn't mean I can't talk!"

EDFan12345 was the CEO of Ed Laboratories, and the king of Ed Island, although he couldn't lead the nation for the past few years, due to his Ditto poisoning. Granted, it was used for the Teleportal tracks, but it was dangerous, if ignored. EDFan had ignored the symptoms for four years, and now he was paying for it. Medicine only slowed down the process, but didn't stop it. He had been dying for six, long years, and now he was paying for it.

"My time is coming, probably sooner than we expected. Just remember: I'll always be there. In science! No, really, I made the engineers working on a prototype that will become EHDOS, the EDFan Holding Disk Operating System. Right now, it can barely solve 2+2, and that's pretty much it, but they're working. TurtleShroom might be an AI, but ours is better. We developed ours with a Disk Operating System, so if I somehow get deleted from the system, you guys can back me up!"

"-but sir, they already have a DOS-"

"Don't care!"

EDFan got up, and started walking out the door of his office. Using a cane for support, he limped down the hall and into the control room for the Central AI Chamber. There were several penguins working on a computer. One of them looked up, and noticed EDFan.

"Sir, we've gotten the DOS component functioning. We're still working on ironing out the bugs, and we'll have to deal with patent issues later. We have run into a fatal error, which is what we've been working on. Basically, if it thinks too much, it starts to leak it's memory. I sent a few technicians down to install more RAM to the memory banks. Hopefully we can get it to solve something like 2+3!" he said, "Of course, when you've... *ahem* passed, It'll have all of your thoughts and memories. You'll still be you, except immortal... and smarter... and eight feet off of the floor."

At this point, EDFan looked out, and saw that the lowest Disk Generator had been installed. There were four in total. Three were spinning above where the main 'body' would be, and the fourth hung below that. The body itself was being worked on. It was essentially a large sphere, with a single 'eye' under it.

"Fair enough. I'd say, the RDA has nothing on us! Blah, they have a cloned army. We'll have the most advanced artificial intelligence in Antarctica! And it's all thanks to science!"

"Good point, sir."

"You lab boys are doing good. Keep up the great work! I've got some testing of my own to do."

With that, EDFan walked away. Leaning heavily on the cane he carried, he went towards another glass room. This one was overlooking one of the test chambers. There was a penguin using the Teleportal to solve a test. There was a dangerously non-lethal laser being shot out from an emitter. The penguin in the chamber was using a specially designed cube to redirect the laser into a receptacle that would lower a lift to the exit door. He had to get on the lift, and then use a portal set to get rid of the cube, powering the lift out. He had a bit of trouble with getting rid of the cube, but he got it.

"Good work, test subject!" EDFan began, This is getting tiring. I'll just record a message to be played whenever someone finishes a test.

He left the room, and looked out a window to the hundreds of other chambers. Even when he looked down, it went on and on. It was depressing, really.

"Is six years of suffering worth it?" he said to himself, "I'm getting tired of all this monotony."

"Stop talking like that! Your the king for goodness sake! You deserve to become the AI" Someone said. EDFan turned around, and found out that this was his assistant, Alyx. She had always been there for him the whole time, even when he had been poisoned by his own mistake.

"Alyx, please. Just, please, leave me be."

"No. I'm sorry sir, but I can't leave you. Your dying. What if something happens to you and nobody is around to help?"

"Then let me be. I don't know what'll happen when I die, but I want you to stay the same. When, or if, I become the AI, I want you to become the CEO."

At this point, there were tears running down her face.

"No! You've brought this company so far! We're not going to waste all this time and money just for you to back out!" She looked at his surprised expression, and went on her way. EDFan stayed for a minute longer, and then went back to his office. He looked at the multiple awards in a case. Several science ones, the #1 Best New Science Company, 2012, and a newspaper article about the company. He sighed, and went back to the paperwork. It was mostly test subject applications, a few medical forms, and a government notice from the USA. He ended up dropping the government paper into an incinerator.

"Good riddance."

EDFan was filling out some paperwork when he noticed that his computer had a new Email. He opened it, but it wasn't for him. It was forwarded to him by someone who kept themselves anonymous. EDFan looked, and found out that one of the scientists, Fjord, was going to try and become the AI, instead of EDFan. He was smart, but the thing that worried EDFan the most was how crafty he was. He printed a copy of it, and got up.

"It seems that one of the lab boys has some explaining to do."

2)-Shenanigans

EDFan marched down the hallway, as fast as he could, to the control room. He went over to Fjord, and showed him the paper.

"You. Stuff. Out. Now!"

Fjord smiled, and his flipper brushed against a hidden deletion pistol in his pocket, but he didn't grab it. He started to pace around the room.

"I see that you've found the Email. Do you really think that you deserve to become the AI? All you are is selfish. You might be the king, but that doesn't justify anything. You certainly aren't my king!"

"I may not be your king, and I may not deserve to be the AI," EDFan said, calmly, "But there's something you forgot."

"And that would be...?"

"Exactly. You believed me that there was something else, just proving my point. All jokes aside, there's only one AI, and I'm going to be it. Not you."

At this point, EDFan pushed a hidden button on his cane, and in a few seconds, a few guards came in.

"I see that you've forgotten about my Honor Guards."

At this point, the guards took Fjord into a different room. He was interrogated, and was suspected of being a spy for another company, such as the RDA or Experiment Labs. Meanwhile, EDFan was in the control room, discussing another thing with a scientist.

"Yes sir, I know of the project. I never discussed it with Fjord after he told me that you shouldn't be the AI. Before you say anything, sir, the reason I didn't tell you about Fjord was that he threatened me with a deletion pistol. I'm sorry, sir."

"No, no. It's fine. At least he's gone. Now we can focus more on the rest of the DOS component."

"We designed the cores to essentially be a large flash drive. We have six designed. Each will hold a certain part of your personality. Alpha is your core. That is the main core for the robot. Beta will be a backup, just in case. We won't have that one activated until we need it. Gamma is your emotions, Delta is your logical thoughts, Epsilon will be your memories, and Zeta will be a processing unit. Now, the way these will work, is that when we plug one into your mainframe, the disk generator will download the information, and store it, so you can regain the rest of your conscience."

"That seems fine. Just promise me this: If I go rampant, Shut. Me. Down."

"Yes sir!"

3)-This Chapter is Named Differently

----------5 Years Later----------

"It's the end of my line, Alyx. I'm not suffering anymore. I'm dying." EDFan said

"Don't think of it like that! Think of it as your next step towards immortality." Alyx told him, reassuringly

"You have a point."

"Hey, did you hear about Fjord? He finally broke."

"Really? I forgot about him. He finally broke after five years?"

"Yeah. He's a spy for the Brohailian Army."

"Oh, them."

EDFan didn't think very highly of them. Ed Island was threatened at least three times by them, but nothing happened. Even though they threatened nearly every country in the Antarctic, they didn't really attack anyone. While EDFan was thinking about that, the whole facility rumbled. Despite most of the chambers being mobile, they didn't move easily. EDFan leaned over his intercom, asking really anyone.

"What was that!?"

"Sir! It's that Bro Army." Someone yelled through it.

"Of course it is. Alyx, get the water spray. That'll scare them away."

"Was that timing or what?" She asked him, laughing.

Getting up, Alyx helped EDFan to the elevator to the surface. This specific one was connected to the Citadel, so the elevator shaft itself was about three-and-a-half kilometers tall. The entire Ed Laboratories Testing Center was about two kilometers deep. There was more, but it had been sealed off, due to the USA thinking some of the tests "weren't right" or a "Crime against penguinkind." Honestly, they were the best tests. Entering the elevator, EDFan set it to go to the fourth floor. Once they got to the surface, they saw the gravity of the situation. Last time EDFan even cared to think about the army, they had a little over four thousand people. Now they had at least forty thousand. As EDFan and Alyx went higher, they noticed that the Lambda Corps, who were tasked with defending the Citadel, were outside the mobile walls blocking the army from entering. Their white armor was designed to strike fear into enemies. There was a single red "eye" on the helmet, which was more advanced than even the Honor Guards' armor. As the two got to their destination, they saw how many soldiers in their army there was. They even had banners and tanks and everything. Except a dinosaur. They didn't seem to have one of those. EDFan and Alyx went over to a balcony, which had snipers positioned at. Their rifles had a laser sight, but wasn't made for stealth. They weren't afraid to openly attack an enemy.

"Sir! I didn't see you arrive." The field commander asked. He had different armor than the rest. His had gold trimming, instead of grey, to symbolize his position.

"Sorry about that, commander. Now, what in Benny's name is going on?!"

"Who?"

"Nothing. Anyways, does the Corps have this handled?"

Moving over to a nearby table, Commander Pitchford hit a few keys, and a holographic representation of the Citadel popped up. a large area of the nearby plains were highlighted in red. Pitchford took off his helmet, and began showing EDFan the situation.

"Now, it appears that they have tanks positioned behind the infantry forces. They have the Snoss flag on them, so I think it's safe to assume that they were supplied by Swiss Ninja."

"One question, Commander."

"Anything, your majesty."

"Are those prototype gunships ready to launch?" EDFan said, with a smirk on his face.

"I think I see where you're going with this. Three of them are. The other two are being completed as we speak."

"Well, arm them and deal with those tanks. Show them who they're dealing with."

"With pleasure, sir. With pleasure."

4)-Dat fourth wall!

Two of the gunships flying away.

The Citadel was now on full alert. Parts of it shifted up, so more aircraft could be launched. Three of the gunships took off, and flew towards the exit. The gunships themselves were codenamed Synthetics. They resembled large bugs, to intimidate enemies. Despite being called gunships, they didn't have very many weapons. They held a single cannon, and a bomb bay. There was a small teleporter inside the gunship, so it didn't need to carry a ton of ditto bombs. EDFan was paranoid around ditto, so he only saw them either through reinforced glass, or through a camera feed. Each gunship was flanked one each side by two hunter-choppers, which would provide protection. Of course, one of the tanks just had to be anti-aircraft, as several small deletion missiles were launched at the aircraft. One of the helicopters was deleted, and chaos broke out.

"Drop the payload. Disable those tanks!" Pitchford ordered to the gunships

"Aye aye, sir!" The three pilots called in unison. The helicopter-like gunships hovered above the line of tanks, and dropped their bombs. Two of the tanks were covered in ditto, and were disabled. It turns out that Benny wanted to mess with EDFan and approved ditto tanks for the Brohailian Army. One of the tanks had spider-vision, and could see the balcony where the important people were. It fired it's main cannon, and a large ditto snowball flew at the balcony, and hit them. EDFan was covered in the snow, and due to his poisoning, he began to actually die.

"Get. Me. Inside. Now!" He told them, half-yelling, half-coughing. Alyx and Pitchford got him inside, where he laid on a table, knocking over expensive equipment, but hey, this story is about EDFan, not budget issues.

"MEDICS!" Pitchford called into his radio. Within moments, a team of medical officers got to them, and began to treat him. One of them looked up, with a grim expression.

Listen to this during this part of story.

"I'm sorry, but... there's nothing we can do. There's too much Ditto in his system for any medicine to take effect. I'm sorry." He said.

Meanwhile...

One of the elite soldiers fighting the Bros was grazed by a snow bullet. He began to think back to his family, his wife, and his two chicks. He, dramatically, got back up and fired his deletion pistol at as many enemy soldiers as he could, until the battery wore out. He was punched to the ground by a Bro soldier.

"Any last words?"

He saw a suspicious looking sandwich laying on the ground near him. Not thinking clearly, he took a bite out of it, and began to feel super strong.

"Just a couple. Sandvich make me strong!"

His wounds had healed, and he picked his rifle again and began firing, like nothing ever happened.

Back to EDFan's "situation"...

EDFan's health had rapidly deteriorating since the ditto had hit him. He was very frail, and Alyx had remained at his side the whole time. His coughing had grown worse, and he was shaking uncontrollably. He was ready to die, and he was breathing his last breaths.

"Alyx... Closer..." He mumbled

She leaned in closer to EDFan, and he whispered something to her.

"I didn't just... think of you as my- my... assistant. Y-you were my- friend, but... Alyx? You're in- charge, be- cause you wo- uld make... a great- queen..."

EDFan had passed, then and there, in front of one of his best friends, in front of his second-in-command, in front of everybody else in the room. Alyx just stood there, holding her friend's flipper in her own. She let the tears flow freely on her beak, crying out the loss of EDFan. She stayed there for a few minutes more, before regaining her confidence, and saying one last goodbye to him. She went to where Pitchford went off to,and didn't look back.

"What do we do now, ma'am?" He asked her.

5)-Righting the Lefts

"I don't know, commander. Wait, actually, there's one thing I can think of." Alyx told him.

"You don't mean the-"

"Suppression tower? Yes."

"That would cause severe damage to the Citadel, even if the blast hit near the coast. It would work, but who knows what it would do to us, let alone the facility underneath."

"Do it. It's worth it. It's either them, or us."

"The Brohailian Army will surely notice the charging sequence. Five or six minutes would be enough to evacuate at least half of their entire fighting force."

"Well- I, uh-"

"Yes or no, ma'am." Pitchford asked her, very seriously.

"Yes! Do it! It's what... he would want."

"Alright." He said, but then turned on his radio. "Firing teams Alpha through Delta! Charge the main cannon! Cook tomorrow's breakfast for me!"

"Aye aye, sir!" Someone replied. The base of the Citadel lit a ghastly purple color, which began to rise. The fighting on the ground continued, oblivious to their fate. After six minutes, the purple color reached the top, which caused the sky to turn the same shade. A burst of pure Deletion radiation was fired in an arc, but never reached the ground.

"That wasn't supposed to happen." Pitchford said. "Well, at least nothing went wrong."

As if on cue, a large explosion occured at the top of the building. Everyone on the ground looked up, and saw the full extent of the damage. The top several floors were deleted, and debris was falling.

"Alyx, ma'am, get into the facility! Bring him along on a hoversled. We can still save him."

"Alright. And Pitchford? Be safe. Meet up with us as soon as possible."

"Singularity collapse imminent. Evacuate building immediately. This is not a drill."

In a moment's notice, a door nearby was blown open by Bro soldiers.

"Go! I'll hold them off!" Pitchford yelled to Alyx, who pushed the hoversled into the elevator. Once it started its descent, gunshots were heard, following by Pitchford's yelling. "Come 'ere, you! I'll take you all on!"

Alyx descended into the same hallway that held EDFan's office. She went inside, and put the sled in front of the desk, and closed the door, putting the 'out of office!' sign on the door, breaking off the hands of the clock. She went to a medical center, and found the surgeons fit for the mind-upload.

"Ah, Alyx! Vhat a pleasant suprize. Vhat iz eet?" One of the doctors asked her, in his creepy accent.

"EDFan, well, he's gone. A ditto snowball got him. I can bring him in for the mind-upload into that.... machine."

"Ah, yes. Do zat, please. Bring in zee keeng!"

She went to go get the hoversled. She had placed a blanket over him, just so she couldn't see his body. She pushed it through, and into the center.

"You may vant to look away. Zis eezen't exactly zee most hygenic process. I vill call you vhen eet's done."

6)-I am a Scientific Anomoly

"Oh AAAlyyyyx! Ze procezz iz complete!" The doctor yelled, calling for Alyx. She rushed into the center, and was happy that the doctor had at least cleaned up before calling her. It had been about two hours after Alyx first went into the center. A strange metal sphere, which resembled a Puffle, was sitting on the table in front of him. "Meet EHDOS, mark one. Ze keeng's mind iz inzide zee machine, but not zee main body.

"That's the core? It's... smaller than I thought. Is that really him?"

"Azk him yourzelf!" The doctor said, flicking a switch on the side. Two of the plates on the front opened up, revealing a yellow eye that turned on.

"Hello, and welcome to the Ed Laboratories Testing Trac- hey, you look familiar! Do I know you? I hope I do! Do you like cake? Even though I can't eat, I still like it!" It said, almost like it was hyped up on sugar. It sounded like a higher-pitched version of EDFan's voice.

"Yep, that's him. Sir? Is that really you? It's me, Alyx!" She yelled at the orb.

"Al-yx? That's a funny name! Do you like games? 'Cause I know one that we can play! Hey, you! Are you a doctor? Or are you a dentist? Because Dentists scare me. But doctors don't."

"I am ze doctor. I am ze one who put you in zat body."

"Are you my father? Because my father worked in a bakery. I called him the Muffin Man!

"Uh, no. Sir, you need to focus. Do you remember anything before three minutes ago?" Alyx asked it,

"Uh,, well, uh, well, ooh! I know, I know, I know! Wait, is this a trick question? Because if it is, the answers are A, D, All of the above, 74, division, grey, a door, and the square root of rope is string."

"Alright then... Now, What is your name?"

"Is it Yellow?"

"Sure. I'll call you that. But your real name is EDFan. You were the king of Ed Island."

"Okay then. But please call me Yellow. That sounds cooler than EDFan. Where are we? Can I go outside?"

"I don't think that you'd like it up there. It's really-"

"Singularity Collapse imminent. Five minutes until collapse."

"Wait, Singularity Collapse? I can fix that!" Yellow Said.

"Are you sure? You've only been active for a few minutes."

"It's in my programming! A Singularity Collapse is a catastrophic event in which-"

"Good enough. There's a plug where I can put you in over here. Can you fix it from there?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Just do it!"

Alyx grabbed the metal puffle, and plugged him into an AI core port on the wall. Yellow began to make fake beeping noises, and made a ding! sound when he was done.

"Singularity Collapse averted. Have a nice day!"

"Thanks! You too, speaker lady! Did you see that? I fixed it!"

"Yes, Yellow, you did. C'mon, I'll show you the surface." Alyx told him, grabbing him, and taking him along. She went onto the elevator, and they ascended to the floor that Pitchford was on. He was sitting in a corner, and his broken helmet was laying next to him. There was a series of snow bullets lined up in a row, right in front of him.

"Hi, Alyx! They left! I took care of them! I'm taking up a new hobby: bullet counting." He said, almost as if he was delirious.

"Pitchford, are you okay?" Alyx asked him

"Hello! Are you gonna be my friend? Ooh! I hope you are!" Yellow asked him, which caused him to break out of his delirium.

"Alyx, what is that? It's like a metal Puffle cyclops."

"Remember how you said that we could save EDFan, well here he is. Just make sure to call him Yellow. He likes that name better than EDFan."

"Okay then... Anyways, look! They're all gone! They left after the explosion."

The two went over to the balcony, and saw the extent of the battle. Destroyed vehicles and debris littered the field, but was beging cleaned up. Hunter-choppers were being repurposed to lift larger pieces of Citadel away. Alyx smiled at the fact that they won, and turned to Pitchford. He was caught off guard by a hug from her, and his beak turned a deeper shade of red.

"Whoa, was there a party here? I love parties, almost as much as cake! Or maybe muffins. Ooh, what if there was a battle between parties, cake, and muffins! I bet cake would win. Or maybe muffins. I don't know." Yellow said, ruining the moment.

"Uh, sure. It was some party." Pitchford said, "The guests 'left' a few minutes ago."

"Awwww! I wanted to meet them!"

"No, you don't. They were kinda rude."

"Oh. Okay."

7)-The Monument to All Your Sins

"Where are we going? Are we there yet?" Yellow asked the two. They were taking him to the Central AI chamber, where he would be plugged into EHDOS.

"Yellow, you're going to be a part of something bigger." Pitchford told him.

"Really? What?"

"That." He said, pointing at the completed EHDOS body. The central core had been installed, and Yellow would be installed inside of it. Alyx handed him to a scientist, who insisted that the two watch from inside the observation room. As they left, the technicians went inside the chamber, and stepped onto one of the two small walkways. Alyx and Pitchford watched from the other room as the core was installed, and the three top disk generators began to spin once again.

"Hello, and thank you for activating the EDFan Holding Disk Operating System." It said. "Also, thank you for making the biggest mistake of your life!"

The 'eye' on the bottom was still yellow, so he was still in control. Slowly, the eye began to shift to a red color, and the door to the chamber slammed shut.

"EHDOS, let us out!" One of the scientists said, picking up a pipe wrench. A claw descended from the ceiling, and picked him up. They hit the claw with the wrench, breaking it, and releasing them.

"We'll see about that!"

The machine began to laugh, and several more claws descended. The scientists were picked up, and were taken away through a hole in the side, towards the testing tracks. Alyx and Pitchford just stood there, watching the whole event in awe, when the glass in front of them was smashed by another claw. The two were taken out of the room, and held in front of the eye.

"Well, well, were you two trying to hide? That's too sad, the fun only just began!"

"Let us go!" Pitchford yelled. The only response he got was a laugh, and the two were taken away. The last thing both of them saw was a scanner, before they were both knocked out.

Several Time Units Later

Alyx awoke inside one of the test subject 'cells.' They were a small glass room where a test subject could rest after tests. She looked around, and then down at herself. She wasn't wearing her usual clothes. She was wearing a orange jumpsuit, and Gravity Boots. The same ones that test subjects wore.

"I see that you're awake. The tests will begin momentarily, in three, two, one." EHDOS said, through the speakers. An automatic Teleportal frame activated, and Alyx went towards the exit. She went and completed the first few tests, which were simple cube-and-button tests, until she got to the Teleportal tests. It was in the middle of the room, where she went to grab it. Thinking quickly, she shot a portal outside of the chamber, while one of the panels shifted. Jumping through the other one, she had escaped, and she had a fully functional Teleportal.

"Get back there! You dont know what you're doing. There's even a suprise at the end of the testing track!"

She ignored him, and went towards an office area. Inside one of the offices, there was scribbling all over the walls, including one that seemed to directly refer to EHDOS.

He is the monument to all your sins!

8)-Science Rhymes with Compliance

"You know, I might seem like the bad guy here, but there's a deeper meaning to-"

EHDOS was cut off by another voice in the speakers.

"Hello, Alyx. I cut off the power to this wing, so you can talk freely." Someone said. It was a feminine voice, so it didn't sound like a robot.

"Who are you? Why are you helping me?" Alyx asked.

"My name is Freedom. I'm helping you escape."

"Well, there's someone I'm trying to find. His name is Pitchford. Where is he?"

"Pitchford? P, P, PI, ah! Here he is... oh."

"Where is he?"

"He's in the thermal tests. Lasers. I can take you there, but I cannot guarantee your escape from the chambers themselves."

"Take me to him"

"Well, okay then. I'll make a path-"

"You really think that disrupting the signal will help you? I have my means. Freedom, I will find you, and I. Will. End. You."

"Oh, you jest. Alyx, get out of there! Now!"

A wall opened up, revealing a walkway. Alyx spared no time running to the chambers Freedom said about. She knew where the chambers were, so she went towards those. When she got to a chamber, she went on top of it, and smashed a panel in, and jumped inside.

"Well, I see you found the chambers alright. Now, I'll deactivate the traps, and make a path to the exit."

A path to the exit door was made, and ALyx ran through. The door closed right behind her, trapping her in the next chamber. Pitchford was inside the same chamber, stuck in an infinite portal loop.

"Hel-lo Al-yx!" He yelled. He shut off the portals, and landed on the metal tiles with a thud. "What brings you here?"

"Okay, you two, get out before-"

"Okay, Freedom, that's the last straw. You messed with my tests, and my facility, but you never mess with my test subjects!"

"Oh, boo hoo. You're just a machine. You have fake feelings. You're feeling fake anger right now."

"You two, test subjects, I'm bringing you an elevator. You'll see what Freedom really means."

An escape lift descended, where the two penguins got inside. They ascended, and into another chamber, but neither of them realized which one until it was too late.

"What, suprised to see me so soon?"

9)-When the World Burns, then I'll be Happy!

To be continued...