Lavender's Speeches
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The following is a list of speeches given by Lavender, the President of Shops Island from 2013 to the present day.
Contents
2013[edit]
A New Beginning (Lavender's Inaugural Speech)[edit]
This speech, which was entitled A New Beginning, was given during Lavender's inauguration ceremony; the day he became president of Shops Island.
"My fellow Shoppers, today is the beginning of something new. Today is the beginning of something great.
Today, my friends, this country chose to reject inefficiency. We chose to reject the ways of aristocracy, we chose to put ourselves on a new path to a greater future. Our little hermit nation, that rock in the corner of Antarctica, can no longer survive in isolation. We must make friends. We must sign treaties, and we must bring ourselves to bear with the overwhelming might with our enemies! Our economy must bear with the rest of a competitive Antarctica. And, most importantly of all, our people must bear with the threat of being outdone.
Our little country has had a rude awakening! We can no longer stand idle as the forces of tyranny and oppression run rampant and threaten our very way of life. We cannot and will not be forced into their grips; adversity only makes us stronger! Our foreign policy of pacifism and isolationism is outdated and leaves us open to attack. Our economic policy prioritizes spending without revenue! Our social fabric is constantly under threat from those who live to undermine the free creatures of Antarctica!
This new government is our best chance of kickstarting a powerful and prosperous future for Shops Island. We will reshape our foreign policy, we will reform our economy policy and we will reinforce our distinct Shopper culture! This, my friends, is what our country needs to aim for. We must aim for the skies, nay, the stars! We have the capacity to become the kings of Antarctica! A land of power and riches, a land of great culture and great health; this is what we have to strive for, this is what we can achieve! This, friends, is our future. This is our chance!
And this, our friends, is our new beginning."
Lavender's response to Snoss aggression[edit]
This was Lavender's first actual address to the nation as president. It entailed the events that had conspired after Bro and the Hochstadts and what laid ahead for Shops Island.
"In the past few days, our nation has been riveted by the aggression by Snowzerland against our country. It is unimaginable as to why any nation would want to harm our little country. But alas, this is our wake-up call.
Our wake-up call was one step too close for comfort. One step too close to nuclear armageddon. The Snoss, and indeed the rest of Antarctica, must learn to reckon with Shops Island and the might that it has within. We must stand resolute to the challenge that we have been brought to bear. The road ahead and the following years will not be easy. Our livelihoods are at risk just as is the peace of Antarctica. To combat the ever-growing threat of outside invasion, we must be prepared to respond with force.
It is so ordered that our measly military be strengthened from its current state into a respectable and feared fighting force. We will recruit and conscript 250 thousand men and women for service, as will we acquire thousands upon thousands of pieces of military equipment that arm us from the danger abroad.
While it may not be popular or desirable, these are the cards that fate has dealt us and we have no choice but to play them. I see with mine own eyes a bright and prosperous future for our country and under my watch our hope and glory cannot, and will not be crushed by some foreign tyrant. This fellow Shoppers, is our challenge. And our military expenditure is our response. Shops Island and its people shall never waver in the pursuit of freedom, liberty, equality and justice for all; even if the mighty forces of evil so will it."
