Treasure Givin' Statute
| Treasure Givin' Statute | |
|---|---|
|
[[File:|250px]] ARRGH!! | |
| Information | |
| Type | Private law regarding TREASURE! |
| Effects | Decides where treasure goes. |
| Source | IN YER COURTZ |
| Location | Applies in the USA. |
The Treasure Givin' Statute is a division of private law regarding what to do when a Treasure Trove is found. It defines what an official Treasure is, who it goes to, and when. It is also notable because it was scanned through G's Pirate Translator 3000 and printed in that manner.
History[edit]
For over ninety years, treasure findings were given out according to the FKLW Code of 1916. Short for "Finders Keepers Losers Weepers", this bill was signed, created, and enforced by the one and only Whoot Smackler Whoot.
FKLW Text[edit]
THE PWNSOME NAUGHTZEE DOCTRINE GOVERNING TREASURE TROVES.
Article 1:
- WHOSOEVER DSCOVERS THE TREASURE FIRST GETS ALL OF IT. FINDERS KEEPERS LOSERS WEEPERS! HA HA HA!
Article 2:
- UNLESS WHOOT SMACKLER WHOOT WANTS THE TREASURE, THEN IT BECOMES THE SOLE PROPERTY OF TEH FURERZ.
Article 3:
- ANYONE WHO QUESTIONS THIS LAW OR WHO GETS THE TREASURE GOES TO THE CONCENTRATE CAMPS AS IF HE OR SHE WAS A MOST HIGH NOOB FACE.
Article 4:
- IF THE DISCOVERER OF THE TREASURE IS A MOST HIGH NOOB FACE, HE OR SHE WILL BE SENT TO A CONCENTRATE CAMP AND THE TREASURE BECOMES WHOOT'S.
Signed 1916. SMACKLER FOR THE WIN.
{Whoot's signature}
That's it.
After the fall of Khanzem, Emperor Dictator for Life Julius Scissor rewrote the law.
THE PWNSOME NAUGHTZEE DOCTRINE GOVERNING TREASURE TROVES.
REVISED FOR EPIC SCISSOR AWESOMENESS.
Article 1:
- WHOSOEVER DSCOVERS THE TREASURE FIRST GETS ALL OF IT.
{signature of Julius Scissor}
Amazingly, the small finds that proceeded this (like Rockhopper's chest o' pink flamingos in 2008 and his golden watch chest in 2007) obeyed this law. Whoever found it gained it, in this case, Rockhopper.
However, in 2009, the law became a center for controversy after the mother load of booty known as the Shiverpool Hoard was discovered.
I'LL SUE YA[edit]
Upon the discovery of the Hoard, the FKLW law caused mayhem.
Since Terry Polar discovered the Hoard, the law entitled him to 100% of the spoils.
However, the items were of great historical value, and Fred Johnson, the land owner, knew that. Fred Johnson had lived on that land for eleven years, and he had no idea of the loot under his feet. Not wanting to be left out, he sued Terry Polar because the trove was on his land, and because it was so old and lacked any heirs without a time machine. Plus, Fred Johnson had agreed to give the items to the Government for research and get money in return.
So, off they went to Court! The USA, being a Krytocracy, had judges making laws, so unless appealed to a higher court, the Law could be written in a courtroom regardless of other factors. The Legislature had no need to affair in this case.
After a bitter suit in a low court, a total rewrite was verdict upon the FKLW Law, drafting what we have today.
Text[edit]
REVISION THREE OF THE FKLW LAW;
A COMPLETE OVERWRITE OF EPIC WIN.
AS GUIDED BY THE LEVEL ZERO MUNCIPAL COURT OF SHIVERPOOL, LOCAL CIVIL DISTRICT.
Article One:
DEFINITON OF TREASURE:
Arr, TREASURE be anythin' considered, t' be worth large sums o' doubloons or be o' significant historical value t' a group o' scallywags or t' an organization, government, or company.
- All booty must be evaluated and confirmed by a lisenced, professional appraiser or a member o' Rockhopper's Family before this law be utilized.
Article Two:
- Mabel and any o' t' lady's confirmed relatives can't get any booty, ever.
- Article Two, Clause One:
- The blimey puffle can't go a-whinin' about t' above arrticle. Her landlubber family can't either.
Article Three:
- T' work o' t' landlord and digger must be analyzed by a random witness who not be related t' anyone on either group. This witness will be shanghaied for the job, much like a juror in a court o' law, by t' local governin' body."
Article Three, Clause One:
- If a witness does not or refuses t' show up for his or her duty (yo ho ho, we said duty), they will be keelhauled with a sixty doubloon penalty and serve two days in DAVY JONE'S LOCKER."
Article Four:
- Upon t' witness' verdict, t' party considered t' have done t' most work in protectin', unburyin' it, preservin' it, and everythin' in relation ship of t' booty will recieve the spoils.
- If one party works more than the other, that party recieves 75% of t' loot, while the lazy party recieves a quarter of it.
- If t' witness rules that each group did their part, t' booty be split in two, with each group gettin' their share.
Article Five:
- If t' booty is found on a registered bilge rat or that blarmy Injoface land, it is t' be stolen, in full, to t' federal governin' body at that landlubber's expense.
-ENACTED BY THE LOCAL, CIVIL DISTRICT OF THE LEVEL ZERO MUNICIPAL COURT OF SHIVERPOOL. BILL IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE IF APPEALED TO A HIGHER COURT
-{signature of presiding Judge}
Trivia[edit]
- This is one of the first laws to be released to the public, as referenced in the "I'm Bored So I'm Writing" legislation.
- This document is pending translation into Pirate Dialect.
Internal Links[edit]
