User blog:TurtleShroom/Impress My Revestor - Quick Musical Story
PROUDLY PRESENTS:
IMPRESS MY REVESTOR!
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This tale has been told! It's done! |
As anyone can tell you, the Swiss Ninja family had issues with economics. Okay, that is an understatement. The Swiss family couldn't manage a lemonade stand profitably. How could they run a car company?
In 2009, the Gaston Motors company fell to ruins. At the advice of the Executive Cabinet, and largely out of jealousy of Swiss Ninja, they gave him a serving of humble pie and bailed out his debt and bankrupt companies, in exchange for control of them.
This led to the rise of Tsar MobileShroom I, and, of course, a nationalized car company.
Swiss Ninja and family, though, needed more money to keep annexing new countries, at least until they could start harvesting their resources. A quick way out would be to get a third party to buy and privatize Gaston Motors, then help the family make profitable, weenie little hippie cars (as opposed to MS' 29 MPG so-darn-huge SUVs).
The problem? That would be convincing MobileShroom to authorize the sign-over. It's not like a czar will just abdicate his crown. Swiss Ninja had a plan, though.
It is early in the evening. Swiss Ninja enters MobileShroom's igloo. Outside, the sound of tools and machinary are loud. Tsar MobileShroom wakes up, wearing his automobile-themed pajamas, and picks up his crown off the nightstand, placing it on his head. He walks outside to see Swiss Ninja with MobileShroom's old-timey car on a tow truck.
MobileShroom: WHAT IN THE NAME OF CHRYSTLER ARE YOU DOING?!
Swiss Ninja: I'm hauling off your old clunker and giving you...
A luxury sportscar gracefully scoots onto the driveway. It is the kind of deluxe vehicle that makes adolescent creatures swoon.
Swiss Ninja: This!
MobileShroom glares.
Swiss Ninja: .........if... if you act now, it will be yours! Just authorize the privitization of Gaston Motors and-
MobileShroom: NO!
Swiss Ninja: ...-but why?!
MobileShroom: I LIKE my old car!
Swiss Ninja: -but this car is every automobile enthusiast's dream!
MobileShroom: Well, it's not mine! Now, give me back my car! I can't revoke your license or your hippie car, but I know folks who can!
Swiss Ninja: Wait, wait, NO!
MobileShroom turns around.
MobileShroom: What now?
Swiss Ninja hits a button on a boombox that he removed from his inventory.
| Impress My Revestor | |
|---|---|
| [[|200px]] ' | |
| Single by The TurtleShroom Singers and Swiss Ninja | |
| from the album Whirlwind Tour | |
| Released | September 1st, 2010 |
| Format | CD, digital download |
| Recorded | March 14th, 2010 |
| Genre | Showtune |
| Length | 1:17 |
| Label | TurtleShroom Productions |
| Writer(s) | Swiss Ninja |
| Producer | Unknown |
| Certification | Certified Gold |
| Album track listing | |
| I Shall Be a Mavv Banker | Censorship (song) |
Just last year, my so gracious Czar,
My land monopolized car,
-but the Feds so despised me,
With stock they did buy me,
-just 'cause I didn't have the profits to run...
So I coughed up my signage to escape the debt,
-but they won't give back GM, making money I bet!
Now I need your approval to make this move legal,
So there's only one thing I can do!
I must impress my revestor,
To re-privatize!
I must impress my revestor,
Shrink government size!
Simple privatization he will take from your nation,
Gaston Motors goes where it shooouuuuulllldddd!
I must impress my revestor to clear up my stress,
'Cause I am not a bankrupt-y and an ego-filled junky!
Give my back my position before I get a conniption,
O'er the company's investments I maimed!
I must impress my revestor,
I must impress my revestor,
I must impress my revestor,
Before I break the bank!
Swiss Ninja: So, can my family have Gaston Motors back? We won't drive it into spiralling debt again, we promise!
MobileShroom: NO.
MobileShroom slams the door.
Swiss Ninja: Your SUVs pollute!
Swiss storms off.
