Waffleland Crisis
 |
Grab a hard hat! This page or section is currently under construction, which could be anything from expansion to a major renovation! The information contained within it should not be considered fully accurate until this tag has been removed. |
 | |
|---|---|
 SHEER EPICNESS! | |
| Background information | |
| Participants | Mister Bean, EBUL, EPF |
| Date | December 1st 2010 |
| Location | Waffleland, the USA |
The Waffleland Crisis is the epic tale of the rapid temporary devaluation of Waffleland, which had a huge effect that it had on the USA's economy.
The Event[edit]
Waffleland, a country founded by Str00del Force members, is one of the USA's main exporters of Waffles.
See, the entire country is centered around waffles.
It is their currency, it is their only food (excluding the syrup which they cover their waffles in), their buildings are made of it, indeed, their LIFE is about waffles!
However, on December 1st, all this would change.
Every year Waffliean farmers plant their genetically-modified (so that they could survive the cold) wheat crops eagerly, as wheat is critical to the production of waffles.
So far, things were going well, and since they could plant wheat any time of the year, they could also harvest at any time of the year.
This year most of them had been feeling a bit lazy and did not harvest, planning on doing it in December.
As the farmers lazed around in their lawn chair, eating sugar-topped waffles (which was a treat for those farmers, traditionally only eaten a day before the harvest), a rumbling was heard under the ground.
The power started to short circuit, and their tractors started moving all by themselves.
Garage doors began to open and close, Wild Teddy Bears ran straight for their dens in fright, and the farmers jumped out of their seats in shock.
"H3y M4T, y4 $33n' 'd1$ t00?" drawled one of the farmers.
"Y4." replied "Mat".
The ground started to shake and crack, and lava sprouted up in a few places.
"N0w 1'm r3411y $t4rt1n' t4 w0nd3r 1f 1'v3 h4d 4 l1ttl3 t0 mu(h (4(tu$ ju1(3." put one of the farmers famously as something big began to emerge from the crack.
The object seemed to get bigger and bigger as it rose up, and by the time it had fully left the ground it was a whopping 10,00 feet tall.
The mysterious object then turned on it's thrusters and blasted off into space, where it started to orbit the earth.
Location:Town, Club Penguin
"EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! ALL AGENTS REPORT TO THE HQ IMMEDIATELY!" blared an agent's spy phone, and the nearby penguins glared.
"What is it now, Clod? Yer phone ringin' again?" grumbled one of the penguins, and all the nearby penguins laughed.
"What's an agent anyways?" giggled a penguin, and everyone turned and stared.
"I...have to go now..." mumbled Clod as he walked out of the town.
"I...have to go too...an appointment with the dire-uhhhhh...I mean the stage director..." mumbled another nearby penguin, and pretty soon the town was empty.
Seeing that nobody was around, Clod pressed on his spy phone's touchscreen and was teleported to he HQ.
Inside he found most of the penguins in the town talking and laughing with each other.
Clod was amazed.
Had most of the penguins been pretending to not know about the EPF?
He had just joined a few weeks ago, but the EPF was not what he had expected.
"AGENTS! COME TO THE CENTRAL TABLE AND FIND A SEAT!"
Clod got up and like all the other penguins, gathered around the table.
He sat down on the floor, as like most of the other agents, as only the top agents sat around the table.
"Let me get to the table! I'm a top agent too!" shouted a penguin, and Clod turned around to see Poplover101.
Her pleas were ignored, and a buzzer signaled them to be quiet.
The agents at the tabel pulled out a coffie cup and set it on the tabel, and coffie poured from holes in the roof into the cups.
The lights dimmed, and an agent stepped up and turned on the HQ's big, deluxe LED TV.
The reception was bad for a moment, but then it cleared up to reveal...
The agents turned red and quickly started pressing random buttons on the TV.
Everyone started to laugh as his face got redder and the channels switched at an amazing rate, not one of them being the right one.
Sparks began to emit from the screen, and it exploded with a bright flash.
When the dust settled, there was nothing left of it but a bent frame with no glass, and a fire burning inside.
It looked remarkably like a fireplace, and many of the agents huddled in front of it, for warmth.
Now the penguins sitting at the table were jealous, as it was kinda chilly.
"Attention agents! Due to the incompetence of the TV operator, the Director himself will appear to give you your mission!
The penguins gasped as a dark figure walked slowly into the room down a staircase hidden behind a wall panel.
When he was at the bottom it was still to dark to see what he looked like, disappointing many of the penguins as he came to the table and took a seat from a penguin.
"Now, we shall begin." started the Director.
"Waffleland, the USA's and our primary source of Waffles is under threat."
"From Herbert?" screamed a n00b insanely, and the agents stared.
He had clearly been spending too much time in the VR Room.
"Now as I was saying, Waffleland is under threat from unknown sources. Our informants say that an unknown object emerged from the ground around 12:30 AM his morning and blasted into space. It is currently orbiting the earth, and our military satellites have found out that it is powering up some kind of weapon of mass destruction."
A penguin put up his flipper, and the Director motioned him to speak. "Like Waffleland's The Humongous Insane Superweapon?" he asked, and the Director shook his head.
"Thankfully it is estimated to be weaker, but since there are chances that it might hit T.H.I.S. and that would be catastrophic. Your mission is to take disarm the satalite and bring it back without doing any damage to it, as it may contain vital information as to what it is and who made it."
"YAY!" shouted the agents, but the Director lifted his flipper and they fell silent.
"We can only fit a maximum of two agents in our specially-designed craft, so I will have to choose two agents to go aboard."
He spun around and pulled out a hat, filled with names.
"Now the first two names to be drawn out of the hat will get to do the mission."
The Director slowly put in his hand in a quite dramatic manner, and slowly pulled out a sheet of paper.
"Let's see...number one is...Pop-lover-101."
"HURRAY!" cheered Poplover101 as she jumped for joy, bathing in her glory and everyone's jealously.
"Next on the list is....."
The crowd held it's breath.
"Wait...a blank card?"
Everyone booed, and the Director drew another card.
"This one is...who's Clod?"
The crowd went wild and picked up Clod and threw him into the air.
"Hurrah for Clod!" shouted everyone except for Poplover101, who was a bit jealous of the attention being taken away from her.
The Director pressed a button on his spy phone (a rather clunky-looking thing) and G teleported in.
"Now good agents," began G, "The spacecraft will take several days to complete, and once the mission is over, it will be added as a mission in the VR room!"
If the crowd was wild before, it really was now.
The all lept for joy (except for the agents at the table, who had more self-control) and ran around the HQ, screaming excitedly and one penguin even found a hidden button underneath a floor tile.
He pressed it and a disco ball descended, and the HQ was transformed into one huge dance party.
The Director did not approve.
"I feel that the other director does not approve either" mumbled the Director before joining in the wild celebration.
Location:Classified and pitch black
"That's correct." mumbled a puffle wearing a director cap as he slammed down a glowing red button.
Location:Money Plaza
"...and as a conclusion to this evening's lecture I would like to announce that tonight the stocks of the "Fruity Marshmallow company" are 50% off!"
A cheer rose from the crowd of stuffy businesspenguins, and they rushed over to the Club Penguin Stock Trade Building.
"So Bob, wanna get a drink of Cream Soda? asked one of the speakers, and "Bob" turned around.
"Sure Jef." replied Bob, and they both high-fived.
Bob and Jeff frequently made business announcements at the Money Plaza to the various penguins that frequented the B servers.
"You know, I'd rather have a bottle of Sockan Brand Cactus Extract but that stuff's been banned by those stuffy bui-"
"Ahem, we ARE those stuffy businesspenguins, Jeff. YOU were a major help in getting it banned, remember?"
"Well then I didn't know how good it tasted, you swineherd!" shot back Jeff, who had no idea what a swineherd was.
Bob rolled his eyes.
Jeff was never, and would never be a true businesspenguin, as he was still just a lower-class penguin he had saved from the gutter.
Sometimes Bob wondered why he ever helped that Jeff rise up the ladder of popularity.
But still, he had been able to make Bob even richer, and besides, he had some good buisness ideas.
"Excluding the one about the cactus juice." mumbled Jeff, and Bert jumped in surprise.
Had he been thinking aloud?
"Well, not exactly..." replied Jeff, and Bert stared at him, confused.
"Why, here's trusty ol' Bil with his soda stand!" exclaimed Jeff as they entered the Club Penguin Stock Trade Building, and indeed there was a rather old-looking penguin standing there, handing out drinks.
"Hey guys! Wanna soda?" shouted Bill, and Jeff laughed.
Bob however put on his signature frown, and Bill handed them their sodas.
"That'll be exactly 1 coin and 5 Waffliean ?s."
"Why does everyone use Waffliean currency for extremely cheap stuff agai-"
WHACK!
Bob had nailed Jeff right in the beak, and he momentarily spun around dizzily.
"Forgive Jeff...he's still a bit new." whispered Bob to Bill, and Bill laughed.
"In mah eyes, yer a n00b too." he responded cheerfully as he briefly pulled out his beta hat, then put it back into his inventory.
Jeff, who had started to recover, suddenly asked "But why is Waffliean currency used for that stuff? It's only started within the last few days!"
Bill gave a mysterious smile, and suddenly spoke the word "Gruffpuff".
Bob had no idea what he was talking about, but Jeff perked up.
Of course! That was the codeword for the "Waffeland Crisis", as the EPF had named it!
However, he knew that Bob did not know of the EPF, so he kept silent, but gave a knowing glance at Bill.
They then thanked him for the drinks, and went upstairs.
The second floor was an open outcry pit, and thus it was very loud.
Penguins and puffles were buying stocks, debating over prices, making wild and very loud bets, etc.
"Say Bob, I might buy a stock of the "Fresh Watermelon Company". You gonna get anything?" mumbled Jeff, and Bob took a good long look at him.
"No, I'm gonna invest in something else. Something else, much more profitable." replied Bob, still wearing his signature frown, but his eyes revealed that inside he was beaming.
"Jeff, where was the electrical systems again?" asked Bob suddenly.
"Up...stairs..." replied Jeff hesitantly, but before he had even finished Bob had gone.
"Oh well, I might as well buy some stocks..."
Location:Club Penguin Stock Trade Building, floor 3
"OK, who's pay 9,000 MILLION coins for this stock?"
Bob listened to the auctioneer intensely, as he hid behind a corner.
He knew he wasn't allowed on floor 3, as nobody except for workers, special penguins and Paul von Injoface.
BONG! BONG! BONG! went the ear-splitting bell, indicating that a stock had been sold and Bob plugged his ears.
The auctioneer seemed to be affected too, as he plugged his ears and shook his fist at the bell.
Clearly he was new.
But Bob was wasting time, and time (to him) was worth almost as much as money.
Bob slowly pulled out a wad of cash and crept towards the auctioneer, holding it out towards him.
"If you let me make an announcement, I'll give you this!"
The auctioneer's eyes almost seemed to turn into dollar signs as he stared at the wad of cash.
It was worth about 3,000 coins!
Which is much, much more then what he would make in a day.
The auctioneer quickly got up and let Bob sit down.
Location:Downstairs
"Attention all penguins!" spoke a different voice from the farmiliar auctioneer, and the crowd looked up in surprise.
Jeff jumped in surprise, and exclaimed "Hey! That's Bob!".
"Well, yes it is." replied Bob.
"I am going to make an important announcement concearning your investments. Do NOT invest in any Waffliean businesses, as your investment may be worthless within a few days."
The crowd fell silent, and you could've heard a pin drop.
"You all know about what recently happened in Waffleland right?" continued Bob, as the crowd remained silent. "Well the object is said to be powering up a weapon of some sort, which will destroy Waffleland and thus, your investment."
"So I encourage you to all invest something else, like, the Portable Bean company, which is less risky."
Jeff sneered.
Bob was promoting his own company again, and so far it had been a failure.
"Bob, signing off!" shouted Bob out of the speakers, and the auctioneer returned.
The crowd suddenly fell into confusion, as penguins ran here and there, trying to figure whether they had recently invested in a Waffliean company and if they did, they were trying to get their money back.
Bob rushed back downstairs, grabbed Jeff and rushed downstairs and out the door.
"Now Jeff, we're gonna make a pretty penny, see?" spoke Bob, and Jeff turned and looked at his partner.
"But how? They're just getting their money BACK from the Wafflieans, not investing in YOUR company." replied Jeff, his eyes fixed on Bob.
"I know, Jeff. I know. But I have a plan. And it is utterly foolproof."
